Guys I just fucked up. My friend's dragon fleshlight just

Say it came like that

>>726558418
Stop being a faggot and tell him you are so fucked in the head you needed some dragon. Or suck his dick since both of you fags.

File: 17264931_10208617728296392_2478873292096570562_n.jpg (14KB, 383x215px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 383x215px

>>726558418
Why the fuck did your friend want a dragon fleshlight when you can get a pussy fleshlight? I seriously cannot understand such faggotry.

>>726558418
Just box it back up and let him think he opened it for the first time. He'll just return it and get a new one.

I mean that was your plan, right? Put your dick in it but never let him know? So you must have had a way to repack it so he wouldn't suspect...

>>726558418
There is only one way to solve this problem.

You need to offer him your own asshole to compensate for the potential pleasures that he may have derived from that fucktoy.

Wish I could say something else, but this is the only logical solution

>>726558892
He already knows I opened it because I let him know it was here by texting him a picture of it

"Sorry I can't get it to you, I have BLANK EMERGENCY to do." Order a new one with the most expensive shipping and keep his.

>>726558824
Because he is dead-bored of pussies since he gets so much of it...from his mom probably

File: DSC046891.jpg (215KB, 513x935px) Image search: [Google]

215KB, 513x935px

Let him fuck you in the ass

sage this shit thread

>>726559047
Seriously considering it

>>726558969
Ha, dumb. I guess you owe him $150, and he'll know you weren't going to tell him you fucked it in the first place.
If you pay him and you're good friends, I'm sure it'll be fine. Just be honest about how fucking dumb you are.

The only sensible thing to do is replace it with your mouth

>>726558418
How bad is it? Show us the tear.

>>726559468
OR his asshole. Don't forget his asshole

>>726558418
Sage shills

>>726559620
It looks like an inch and a half from the corner of the mouth back. It just barely follows the line of the lip, but veers off too much to look intentional. Pic coming in a minute

>>726558418
Yo fag i own my dragonness muzzle too the mouth ripped on the sides too just take some electrical tape wrap it around the top and boom even tighter

why not a fucking dragon vagina though? what kind of twat wants to fuck a sharp tooth fucking lizard?

>>726559223
Either fuck him or do exactly that friend, sorry this happened

>>726560214
What the fuck would a dragon vagina even look like?

Super glue? At the very least you can prolly make it look like "tizz but a flesh wound"

File: 00651_full[1].jpg (420KB, 1000x610px) Image search: [Google]

420KB, 1000x610px

>>726560334
Since you asked

>>726560562
Looks like wrinkly human labia. Even dolphin and dog genitals look more different than that, and they're mammals

Did you prance around in front of a mirror with it on your dick, fantasizing "look, I have a dragon for a dick!"

>>726558593
/thread

File: 20170323_004822.jpg (1MB, 2560x1440px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2560x1440px

>>726559620
Here it is. What if I text him now and say i noticed a year in it? maybe that would be better than bringing it up later?

>>726561315
Nah, way too heavy. It's a giant chunk of silicone

>>726561493
Assuming you didn't send him a shot of that part of it. But don't try and screw your friend out of a hundred fifty bucks, guy.

>>726560334
"what the fuck would a dragon vagina even look like?" what the fuck do i care? it's probably a fucking hole without teeth and that should be good enough for these faggots. you stupid or some shit? does mommy turn on your computer every morning after she changes your adult diapers, you stupid faggot?

>>726561493
Why would you have opened it in the first place?

Unless you're gonna say you just wanted to see what it looked like and then you noticed the tear... Could work.

>>726561493
Say you stuck your thumb in to see what it felt like and noticed the tear.

>>726561493
It's not right for you to pass him along the bloody onahole.

Since you have deflowered it, you must take the gentleman's path by asking the onahole's hand in marriage

>>726561654
To see what it looks like. This isn't the first time an exotic sex toy has passed through this house

File: 4de45c25730b82c629c8045a5bbf3506.jpg (210KB, 853x1280px) Image search: [Google]

210KB, 853x1280px

simply rip the other side so it looks normal

>>726561493
You are a fucking moron. You know you could just lube it up, have a wild ride then completely clean it?
You feserved it. Grow a spine and tell him fair and square what have you done.

Also baddragon is fairly oberpriced but i cant name others doing these exotic onaholes.

>>726558418
You guys are fags....

>>726561621
>Inverted commas
>quotation marks if you prefer
Calls the person a stupid faggot.

Irony, thy name is Anon!

File: 1489731674543.jpg (46KB, 588x575px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 588x575px

>>726558418
Don't be a shitty friend and tell him the truth.

He can tell the company it ripped OR he won't give a fuck because that tear looks completely cosmetic.

Don't be a cuck. Tell him the truth you asshole.

>>726561621
B..but dragons have teeth anon

you're fucked

>>726561493
doesnt look bad

>>726558418
Just give him free bjs for life

>>726561493
YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE IM GOING TO KILL YOU

>>726559137
SO HE ORDERED A FUCKING DRAGON? LOL

File: images.jpg (6KB, 198x234px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 198x234px

Crazy glue fixes everything, well except a shitty friend -)

>>726562232
implying you know what irony means

You can either:

A) Say it shipped like that.
B) Say you lost it, got stolen, got taken from you
C) Be honest depending on how close of a friend he is. It's a pretty funny story. I know I'd laugh if my friend did that.

Also you're probably gonna want to save some money to help pay him back for it.

>>726564020
I’ve made my decision, I’m just going to pay him back for it. Yeah it’s totally still usable so he’s basically getting a free toy out of the deal.

And yeah, maybe I’ll suck his dick too. We’ll see.

File: tenor (1).gif (335KB, 498x316px) Image search: [Google]

335KB, 498x316px

You have conquered the dragon,
But have lost a friend -)

>>726564364
Since I offered you some sound advice, is there a blowjob in for me as well?

Where can i buy these exotic onaholes in the EU?
I wont pay that shipping price for bad dragon

>>726558418
>I ripped it /b/..

The upside, this is the closest you will ever come to defloweration.

>>726561660
This.

>>726558418
>Say your dog or something got to it.
>Box cut it while you were opening it to check to make sure since you have a few packages on the way for you.
Better than saying you fucked it open

OP, the only solution is to let him fuck you in the ass instead of using the toy.

>>726561698
This

File: retread1.jpg (15KB, 488x305px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 488x305px

>>726558418
>so I tried to go in dry
Should have just told him you were gonna give it a try

>>726562128
this.

if your friend questions it just blame it on shitty quality

>>726561493
super glue it nigga

File: ICU.gif (2MB, 460x249px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 460x249px

>>726564364
Just tell him to man the fuck up and stop fucking dragon heads.

Then tell him that was your implied handling fee, and you're welcome

>>726561493
You basically did him a favour by testing it out and revealing it to be a shoddy product.

>>726564506
Holy fuck, this post is underrated as hell.

>>726566138
Exactly, you were just being a good friendo
It was your duty to shield him and take one for the team.

>>726566138
Pretty damn sure product literature would have said use with water based lube/do not use without water based lube like all other sex toys - for a reason.

>>726558418
Dude, if you ripped it first try it was going to rip on him.

You can either: msg him asking to try it out, say you will clean it. Then say it ripped then.

Clean it: tell him you were just looking at it and it ripped

Or tell him the truth.

Either way he can send it back because it would of ripped on him anyway, its not that big of a deal ...

>>726566257
I thought it said that because non-water based stuff can damage it?

File: yea_buddy.gif (1MB, 400x225px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 400x225px

>>726566199

>>726566561
For some products this is the case but for all products which you insert a dick into, doing it without lube is going to fuck it other than being uncomfortable.

>>726566833
Well of course. I can't imagine why he tried that but I also wouldn't expect it to tear. Guess now we all know, thanks for serving as an example to others op.

>>726567097
Harder silicon isn't particularly tear resistant, it's compression resistant and stretch resistant but can be sheared easily, hence silicon hose usually having braid inlaid into it.

>>726558418
Suck his dick to make up for it

Why didn't you use lube then wash it and let it dry?

>>726558418
$150 for some shitty silicon molding
Pervs are easy to exploit I guess.