Weird stories > I'll start My mother bathed right up

>>726357560
Pics of your mom or didn't happen

Is your mom good looking?
If she is then that's fucking hot bro.

>>726357560
Do you actually feel aroused by your mother though? Also, junk doesn't need that much washing especially not for extensive periods of time. Sounds like she was eyeing that thing for the whole time and knew exactly what she was doing

>>726357817
It didn't take much pal. I was in the early stages of puberty so the 10 seconds she was pretty much giving me a underwater handjob got me going.

>>726357817
totally agree

Was she naked as well?

>>726357817
Maybe not if you are a cutfag amerifat who can't wash his dick.

You fucking wash it everyday you faggot.

>>726358109
Get outta here with your cheese dick you disgusting Euro trash.

>>726358191
Implying people who know how to clean themselves have cheesedick.
Enjoy your shitty feels during sex Jewfag.

>>726358191
Don't need to get circumcised at birth if your parents know you won't become the epitome of the American stereotype.

>>726357560
This is now a wincest thread.

>>726358191

>thinking that having an uncut dick automatically means having smegma

just goes to prove that just by being cut you pass as having good hygiene in murca

>>726358312
Enjoy busting a nut 10 times faster than us superior cut penises.

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>>726358312
yeh seriously, who the fuck doesn't clean their dick every day? the neck bearded basement dwelling rotten faggots on /b/ still astounds me. no wonder half of em are forever alone virgins.

>>726358191
You do know that 1) circumcision was popularised by the guy behind kellogs Cornflakes and 2) in order to get a build up of 'cheese' under the foreskin you have to not shower for at least a fortnight.

>>726358542

at least we actually enjoy busting a nut

>>726358542
Implying that is a bad thing.

>>726358542
At least our dicks can feel something.

>>726358674
>>726358672
Have fun never lasting long enough to actually satisfy a woman.

>>726358640
You can get it faster by fapping and cumming over your own foreskin and wearing low quality clothing which disperses partials of fabric.

That said, that means shitty conditions where you should already wash yourself and indeed it probably would take about a week to get a decent smegma buildup.

in short, cutfags are fucking retarded.

>>726357560
>My mother bathed right up until I was 14. My entire body. For some reason she didn't trust me to do it myself. It got a little uncomfortable when I was starting puberty because as she was washing my junk I got a full erection. She kept washing it anyway.
hahaha, big dick or little dick?

>>726358748
Have fun never busting a nut.

>>726358672
Is it proven that circunfags have less pleasure than non-circumcised guys?

>>726358720
> implying that most nerve ending aren't in the foreskin

>>726358777
I agree. Cut fags are retarded.

>>726358720
Bro when your mom's lips are on my cut dick I definitely feel something.

>>726358793
When I was 14 I had under 6". Now that I'm older I have 7" but that's not what she saw.

>>726358921
Implying anyone but Jewish men want to see your mutilated baby dick.

>>726358640
>You do know that 1) circumcision was popularised by the guy behind kellogs Cornflakes

Yeah I just saw that episode of Adam Ruins Everything, too.

>>726358824
>>726358807
>>726358720

My dick feels plenty in your mom's ass, and you can ask her what it was like to be covered in buckets of my cum as she laid there quivering in orgasmic bliss because i didn't bust a nut in 10 seconds like you uncutfags.

>>726359121
>mom
Can't just mutilate your dick, gotta use an inferior version of the British language as well.

>>726357560
tell us something more about this op

>>726359105
The what now? I went to school, bro.

>>726359205
Kekek. Imagine 1) stealing a language and 2) still not be if able to use it properly.

U cutfags should shut the fuck up inbred pieces of shit

>>726359574
This

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>>726359370
>>726359205

You know why we beat your Britfag asses and started our own country? Simply put: we don't need "u".

Also, glad you accepted the reality of the situation. Going after the spelling instead of the statement itself. Good job.

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>>726359787
Ya'll could only beat us because the French gave you guns and we had an entire ocean to travel resupply our soldiers. Besides, the only reason you revolted was because the socialists you are didn't like our economic policy. Kekek. Just look at the obese cretins you are now.

>>726359787
Get a load of this guy

>>726360065
They're literally just tax evading British kekek

>>726360065
>fights against taxes
>"the socialists you are"
Implying anyone on that continent is not a eurocucked socialist retard?

>>726360472
>Implying anyone on that continent is not a eurocucked socialist retard?

Yeah, because it totally wasn't the British Empire that created capitalism, right?

>>726360065
We beat your asses again in the War of 1812. We supplied you with arms, ammunition, medical supplies, food, soldiers on loan, ships, war planes, etc in BOTH World Wars. You'd be speaking German if we hadn't stepped in and saved your pansy, tea-swilling asses. Oh, and btw, My state has more firepower and economy than your entire fucking "empire", cuck. Fall in line.

>>726360620
The empire still existed in World War II. We weren't in any danger you delusional fuck.

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>>726360620
>We beat your asses again in the War of 1812
Sure dude.
>You'd be speaking German if we hadn't stepped in and saved your pansy, tea-swilling asses
Yeah, because the Royal Navy totally wasn't the most powerful Navy in the world at the time.
>Oh, and btw, My state has more firepower and economy than your entire fucking "empire"
Ever heard of NATO?

>>726360531
No, they absolutely didn't.
Capitalism has been around for as long as business itself has been around.
Also
>hurr durr we invented capitalism
doesn't mean
>hurr durr we invented it so we could never become anything other than capitalists
>hurr durr we never became cucked socialists

>>726360926
Well, we never did become socialists though.....

>>726358191
Fucking kek'd

>>726357560
Anything else you would like to add to the story?

>>726360897
I don't think so, cuck.

In the beginning of World War II the Royal Navy was still the strongest navy in the world,[1] with the largest number of warships built and with naval bases across the globe.[2] Totalling over 15 battleships and battlecruisers, 7 aircraft carriers, 66 cruisers, 164 destroyers and 66 submarines.[2] In the course of the war the United States Navy grew tremendously as the United States was faced with a two-front war on the seas.[3] By the end of World War II the U.S Navy was larger than any other navy in the world.


US Navy out-numbered Britfag navy by over 2:1 ratio. US Navy suffered far fewer losses against THREE enemy navies than Britain did against 1.

ITT:Britfags think it be like it is, but it do.

Also, Nato is shit, kek. We STILL have more firepower.

Oh, also, You have 77 active ships including exactly 1 aircraft carrier. We have 247 active with another 200 deployable ships standing by with 19 aircraft carriers commissioned and 4 more being built.

Cuck.

inb4more "BRITIAN STRONG DURRHURR" autist shit.

>guy talks about his mom giving him handjobs
>thread devolves into kids talking about their dicks

I found a pic of a girl I know from uni on /b/, where she's in a slutty open mouth pose with some cum on her, and I have no idea how to react, I mean the rumors about her are true now that I've seen this, but I'm not sure if I just fap to this a lot, look for more or approach her

>>726357560
Your mother molested you under the guise of bathing you. Very common. Congratulations.

>>726362040
Furthermore:
> which country is the shittiest.
I say UK&USA are both full of dickfags

How fucked up is your life because of it op?

>>726362125
>find the pic/s
>save the pic/s
>tell her you'll send it to everyone in the university, including the dean.
>ask for sex in return, "once a week till I graduate"
>profit

>>726361834
I didn't see America actually doing anything useful until later in the war, America didn't do shit in WW1 and didn't do anything useful in WW2 until 1944. Also, where the fuck is your logic coming from? Britain fought the German, Italian and Japanese Navy throughout the war. The only reason you had less casualties is because you joined late, and hardly did anything.

The only reason your Navy outnumbered ours is because our Navy actually fought the enemy, you dumb fuck.

We're not talking about present day either. I think you need to take a good look at the world because the British Empire isn't around anymore you cretinous piece of human filth.

>>726362484
I don't really want to blackmail, would rather get on with her some other way. I have the pic btw

>>726358191
We could always cut it if we wanted to. Your parents gave you no choice

>>726357560
did you ever cum from her jerking you?

>>726362778
yes,i would like to know that as well?

>>726362612
Now hold the fuck on there, britfag, and let me lay some truths on you:

>British RAF was 30% USAAF pilots by 1940.
>US built the Spitfire I-V at triple the rate British factories did and sent them to you because if they hadn't you'd have lost the air war.
> American aid and supply ships kept the brits from starving to death because air raids.
> American ships were sold to Britain to replace the loses the Nazis inflicted so heavily upon the RN.

US barely did anything:
We fought a more tenacious force in the Pacific then England did in the Atlantic. We defeated Japan. We also defeated Italy for you. "Joint" opperations taken into account, Britfags had it EASY on D-Day compared to Omaha beach. US Army Engineers built the bridges and supply lines to provide allied troops with supplies. US Troops won both battles of the Buldge. US Army Air Forces shot down nearly twice as many Nazi air craft than the RAF from the time they entered the war until it's conclusion.

"Brits took out the Bismark". You lost 4 ships trying to take out 1 battleship who's rudder was stuck. Good job.

>>726362612
Oh, and BTW, all those troops and equipment we loaned/ sold to you? Yeah, your shithole country still hasn't paid back those debts.

>>726363304
>Slavs took Berlin
Well you tried.

>>726358640
>for at least a fortnight
>fortnight

This eurocuck is speaking from experience, niggers.

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Weird story:
A /b thread deteriorated off topic to cut vs. uncut and American revolution debate...

>>726360065
This is so true. I actually think the British could've won they war if they really wanted to. They just gave you faggots the new world because it wasn't worth their time. Now I bet they wish they'd fought harder.

>>726363896
Lol this is why I love slash b slash

>>726363632
Yeah, the Slavs took Berlin, US took the rest, kek. Also made Japan bow down and suck our cut dicks. They still only have the JDF with no standing army/navy because they cucked out to our treaty.

if she wasnt creepy it was probably because she was scared of you growing up. i get really sad and cry whenever i think about my kids growing up and they wont need me to help them with baths or getting food anymore

>>726360065

>not bringing all the soldiers you could in the first place

>>726364118
You're a loser. Oh and tits or gtfo

>>726364166
They also thought that standing together in formation against another force with guns/cannons was a great idea. Never even adapted their tactics to the new idea of not standing out in the open in tight groups and using cover instead.

>>726364118
I hope your kids are Neets and live with you until they're 57

>>726358824
pleasure is very subjective i believe. i mean its obvious that both fractions can orgasm. but how do you want to compare the pleasure experienced?

>>726364395
The Americans didn't invent guerilla warfare if that's what you're getting at. They learned that from the tree niggers.

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>>726359079
>Implying having a saggy, floppy, stinky piece of useless skin hanging over you dick is any more pleasant

>>726362654
then just talk to her like a normal person would do. and forget about the pic

>>726358312
Dude we know how dirty yuropoors are. If you want to try and feel superior about anything your hygiene isn't one of them.

Hey look, a fagfight!

>>726358109
I didn't mean it in that way dude. I meant that it needs to be washed daily but not for long periods of time as in it only takes a few seconds to clean and his mother was intentionally washing it for longer than needed for her own satisfaction. Maybe I worded it wrong, English isn't my first language.

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>>726357560
Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about... your mother.