I'm married to a witch. Magic is real, but probably not

Bamp

Does she ride a broom?

Are love spells a thing? How do they work?

>>726294239
No brooms lmao

Although she does have an old Ass broom. I think she just likes the imagery.

>>726294045
How did you meet?

Are you under an spell right now?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ua2k52n_Bvw

>>726294045
Can you say the sex is.....MAGICAL

>>726294045
Are you married to a witch?

>>726294045
Was it what you expected?

>>726294303
As far as I know, no.
Although there is an aointment kinda oily stuff that can make you wildly attracted to anyone.
You won't love them, but you'll wanna fuck.

Did she change the size of your willy?

Is your name Darren Stevens?

>>726294616
Yes. It's now a Jilly

>>726294457
Met at a party actually lmao

Yes I am, I have a bad sinus infection that is being healed as we speak.

Ever worry she will turn you into a toad?

>>726294616
I want to say no.
But I think it is bigger.

Think of it as more like a natural enhancement. Anything that could have been there but wasn't due to not being super hard is always on point.
Unless she's being lazy lololol

what example can you give on how it works?

>>726294045
Have you ever fucked your mother?

>>726294045
As a loose practitioner of manifestation and chaos magic, I'd define magic as, "influence over the world by alteration of the self and control of perception." Does this jive with your understanding of the concept?

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Does she know this witch?

>>726294045
why haven't you beheaded and burned her in the name of god yet

>>726294045
Does she float in water?

>>726294583
I didn't know until a few months into dating.
I sorta wondered what the massive book and ACTUAL ALTAR was. But I'm not typically a smart man that puts these things together.
She has made me massively stronger though.

>>726294603
interesting. Can you purchase this ointment? Or does it have to be custom made by a witch?

Does she like being called "witch"? Or is there a name they prefer to go by?

How do you know she's a witch? Hmmm

>>726294045
Is she made of wood?

>>726294045
You aren't married to Emma Watson, anon.
Hermione was just a character.

>>726294934
You won't see shit floating around my house.
But dust doesn't collect at all. She has all these fucking herbs and shit that she uses for various reasons. Like making ointments and stuff.

>>726294045
how would you define magic to us? is it like magic bolts flying everywhere with flashes and explosions or rather more discreet, changing the inner working of things?

>>726295066
It definitely is more tangible than that my friend.

>>726294045
Does she have a feminine penis?

>>726294045
How does it work? What sort of spells can be done? Immortality? Teleportation? Gold from lead?

>>726295119
Lmao, she can float at will.
No joke.

>>726295075
Hates her worse than I do actually

Are you sure she's a witch I mean you did say your not that smart

>>726295155
I call her a witch mostly because of Monty python.
She calls herself a sorceress.
As far as I know it's in her blood, it you may get lucky if you ask the right people.
I've never met another one.

>>726294045
Magic isn't real

Does she get her magic from herself or from external sources like spirits

>>726294603
Us non-Wiccans call that Tequila.

>>726295327
Much more discreet than Hollywood shit.
But that's not to say that lightning wont strike the same place twice.
Idk that she can SUMMON storms, but I'm fairly certain she can hex something to be struck by lightning. Scary thought tbh.

>>726295422
Literally none of that.
Although I know relatively fuck all.

>>726295631
She does magic and shit.
What would you call her?

>>726295667
She said it's in her blood.

>>726294045
>>726294603
>>726294743
>>726294910
>>726295322
sounds more like a druid??

how is it to fuck a witch? does she casts a spell during sex that makes it kinkier or some shit like that?

>>726295664
It was sorta easier thinking like this.
Keep thinking that.

>>726296069
delusional. a homeopathic nutcase. they do say crazy sex is best sex though. lucky faggot.

what exactly does she practice? wicca? whatever the heckamarino?

>>726296176
I guess so. She has a deep connection to nature.
The incident I was talking about with the lightning was a neighborhood dog that gets into our trash.
She said she was going to hex that dog, shit she says when she's mad you know?
Well a thunderstorm passed a few days later and the dog was struck in a neighbors back yard.

>>726294045
>>726296349
never stick your dick in crazy

>>726295510
Excellent! Please pass along my regards to your wife. I will have to re-evaluate my views on witches. Maybe Glenda the good witch actually exists.

>>726296208
If you think being on Molly and viagra is fun then yes.
I've literally never done either of those, but I'd say it's close.

>>726295899
I need to learn this shit, ASAP; tell me how.

Darling. If this is you, what should I do?

Does she do alot of stuff with lavender

>>726296391
We're both children of Odin, but we go to a Catholic Church to keep up looks.
Her stuff is older than Wicca nonsense.

Ask her if she knows any way for people without magic being in their blood to use magic

Also, does her magic skip a generation

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>>726294045
which category(ies) does she fall in? or is my whole life a lie and none of this is true?

>>726296575
From what's I understand you've gotta be born with it m8

Are you at all afraid of her? Like, what if you break up? Is she gonna fuck you up?

>>726296652
Yeah, but it really just smells nice.

>>726296781
how do you know if you have it?

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I think it's imperative that you post a picture of your wife...because, I'm beginning to suspect that you're married to Michael Carbonaro.

>>726294045
send me the spell books.
Thats all info u need. Figure out the rest with magic, cunt

>>726296692
I think like you've gotta be born with it, but it's not necessary for it to be hereditary.
She said by the time she was around 12 she just knew.

>>726296778
I would say a combination of a bit of each.
We played d&d together and she thought the separation of the magic user classes was absurd.

Post her nudes

>>726296840
Nah I'm not afraid of her.
She's got me damned near immune to being afraid of magic
That said, I know what she can do and I should be afraid lmao.
Heart attacks aren't always random m8

>>726296781
Na, just this right here leads me to believe that everything she says is complete horseshit. Sounds like she wants to be a special snowflake, OP.

>>726297192
shit nigga I dont want this anon to explode

>>726296871
She said that by the time she was Ass twelve she could manipulate nature a little and had dreams where she was being visited by the all father.
Her grandmother told her all about what she is.

>>726297331
But IM tryna explode

>>726294045
I think this bitch putva hex on me like 14 years ago. Havnt seen her in years. How do I break the curse?

>>726294045
you sound retarded OP; like mentally retarded. Not trying to be mean or anything. enjoy farting in bathtubs and laughing your ass off.

>>726294045
I have a witch fetish. Can I fuck her?

>>726297246
Don't you think you'll be in immediate danger of losing a testicle if she knew you were telling people about her on /b/?

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>>726296979

>>726296222
Magic isn't real.

>>726297319
I've seen things that confirm the existence of magic m8

>>726297651
still not on my lap

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>>726294045
I only believe in one magic

>>726297722
Bro just because you hallucinate or choose to believe some dumb shit doesn't mean it's real.

>>726297527
I think there's some shit for that. I'd have to ask tho.

>>726297722
You've seen things that you can only explain as magic. It doesn't mean that it is, in fact, magic.

>>726297448
Kek

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Do you need anything special to kill witches?
asking for a friend.

>>726297643
Haha nah, it's chill.

>>726295119
>>726295461
But is she heavier than a duck?

Same guy who asked about u dyin

What's the worst thing you've seen her do to both a human and non human? Was the it lightning doggo?

I realised you said allfather is that like Norse all father or something else?

>>726297798
Good luck with that m8. It's was literally just redone with this design she Picked out.
It's gotta come from you.

>>72629801
I think it's possible you'll suffer a mysterious case of cardiac arrest within 72 hours. Good luck, pal.

How'd you guys meet tho? I know you said at a party but what was it? Maybe she hexxed your ass.

>>726297807
There may be something to that tbh m8
Like massive consciousness and will.

OP here, idk why it seems like it but she HAS been getting a little more agitated with me because I called her out on her bullshit when I tried to get her to cast a spell on my ex and she wouldn't. I even told her that my ex David stretched me out beyond repair. But this still wasn't enough to sway her. I don't know if she really can do magic but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist

>>726298335
It means it doesn't exist. Go back to sitting on your ex-boyfriend's cock.

>>726294045
what a coincidence anon, so am i.

>>726298169
Carved a hex on a tree at a party because but the hostess was a bad person. Gave her crazy nightmares and now she's in prison for prostitution without a history of it
I wasn't happy with the outcome but that was before I believed in magic.

>>726298186
YEs.

Shit like tarot and Alchemy real?

>>726298607
Wait you had a boyfriend before, so she's okay with you being gay?

>>726298303
She swears she didn't.
Still may have though. She's carrying my child rn and I couldn't be happier.
She helps me heal from the gym and I'm massively stronger than I ever have been

>>726294045
Can she cast a spell to regrow my hair?

Like now?

>>726298806
That wasn't me.
Real OP here. Never been gay.

>>726298806
Methinks she has a magic wand, and not the Harry Potter type.

What does she think about your soul? About the future?

>>726298712
Alchemy is most definitely.
Symbols, elements and herbs can be very powerful in the right combination.

>>726298975
Lmfao!!! Trapwitch

>>726298335
PAUSE so wait is she a trap?

>>726299029
She told me the other day that when I've spent the day doing what's I love, the color of my soul is the brightest. Said that's what attracted her to me.

>>726299035
>implying alchemy
Faggot, that's chemistry.

>>726294045
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQgbxGI_mqE
lmaoooooooo

>>726299035
Same guy now how about like other famous wizards like Agrippa, Vergil and Solomon were they real or just tall tales

OP her. She's pregnant with our first born and I've never done gay shit lmao

>>726294045
>Magic is real
No it's not

>>726299196
And your future?

>>726297651
Open to table of contents op

>>726296778
eroll

>>726299196
So after a full day of ramming cock down your throat? Or is it her feminine cock that sets your colors off into a rainbow in front of her very eyes? Why, OP, she IS magic!

>>726298844
WHOOOSH YOU HAVE ASTHMA

>>726299342
Bright. The future isn't clear. More like a feeling I guess.

>>726294045
OP, what's it like to be a faggot?

>>726299309
Idk why someone keeps saying they're me but they are homophobic too. Don't make me ask her to cast a hex on your IP and plant CP there.

>>726299358
It's hand written, and cursed. So no. Not opening that shit m8

>>726299567
Also not me. Lmao.

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>>726295089
This.
>Helping a witch damns you.
>Burning/slaying a witch gives you alpha exorcist/witch hunter stats

Just kill the fucking witch, she's not pure

>>726299645
>inb4 cursed book full of black exes railing her witch womb

>>726294045
Its unfortunate, that, although you have the ability to post pictures, that there's no real way for us to truly know if you're legit. Gimme some good luck?

In love begins the purification of the soul

>>726299687
Between the two of us, I'd like to see someone try.

>>726299750
Wtf would I even post lmao

>>726295714
Kek

>>726294045
I, for one, think that OP and his wife are vile, worthless heretics that need to be crucified and burned alive.

>>726299919
Tits and a time stamp. Or your ex David

Why do you people play along with OP when you know this is clearly fake? Do you guys just enjoy RPing or do any of you actually believe OP?

>>726299738
Not a lot of black folks where we live m8

I've seen inside the book. It's cursed so that rivals can't steal from it, nor can she get in trouble for stuff she did when younger. Also I'm not supposed to know. Lmao

I'll bite, OP. How did she "just know" at age 12?

>>726300079
I believe he had an ex boyfriend and that he's starting to doubt her magic

How casual is the topic in your day to day life? Does she just drop the magic tall whenever or is it more of a serious thing? Do you guys ever joke about it?

Also, how's the sex?

>>726300079
I believe he's a faggot.

>>726300079
Why it's RP?, many people out there have wives anon, stop projecting.

>>726300077
Am dude and not gay.

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>>726294045

does she use a luigi board?

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>>726300079

>>726300222
Trips of truth

>>726294470
underrated

>>726300057
OP is the hero we need
>burn the witch
>Post pics on /b/
>???????
>Holiness acquired


kill the witch op

>>726300222
Well clearly trippy

>>726300146
Dreams and small time odd occurances. Never been super good st explaining this stuff.
She is vague about it.

>>726300247
Post her tits plz I need to witch whack

>>726300408
She ever mention the dreams tho?

>>726300245
What are you even trying to say retard?

>>726300206
It's become a part of our day to day lives, like the Internet has.

Best sex I've ever had.

Is the key of Solomon true?

>>726300267
No, but I want that deck now. Lel

Generally speaking, if a game company made it, it should probably not legit.

>>726295124

> But I'm not typically a smart man

Yeah I already got that from the whole "I believe in magic" thing

Is she goth after? I feel like she's goth af.

Also, I assume she doesn't like people who pretend to do magic.

>>726300715
keked

Are you going to tell your child about it?

>>726300480
Being visited by Odin, who she thought was Gandalf at the time. Being taught things like runes and words and things.

>>726294045
>Magic is real
Can confirm. Don't know if she was a some kind of witch, but my ex could read my mind. Shit was creepy af.

>>726294045
well, you got lucky. most guys are just married to succubus and vampires.

>>726296531

> I'm not a smart man
> I've never done either but I think it's similar to that

You're really not helping the "People who believe in magic are fucking stupid" sterotype

>>726300721
Anyone who does magic is pretending, anon. You know, because it's not real.

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>Magic
>Real
Pick one.

>>726300721
Lmao, nah not goth. She dresses mostly conservatively, except naked a lot at home.

>>726294045

Alchemist, reporting in. Because if you are going to harness the power of the aether, you might as well do it empirically.

>>726298192
no, u faggot. I told u to send it to me. Via magic. Why r u not doing it? Cuz magic isnt real? Oh, ok, cok

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>>726300884
does she use one of these?

>>726297246

> Heart attacks aren't always random m8

No, often they are caused by poor diet and exercise

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>>726300884
You're telling me Thor's dad teaches witches?

>>726300801
We haven't discussed that, but he will be the first male that her grandmother hasn't heard of a sorceress bearing.

Does she really love you?
What does she think about science?

>>726301085
Stop. You are all dirty fucking role players.

>>726301123
I don't Magic m8

>>726301085
Are you fullmetal?

>>726300936
Probably because all you think about is dicks fagget

Druid reporting in because fith-fath is the funest way to harness the aether

>>726298607

> now she's in prison for prostitution without a history of it

The first time I murdered someone I didn't have a history of it.

By your logic can I go up to the judge and say

"Your honor, I don't have a history of murder, therefore I could not have committed this crime"

Level 80 warlock reporting in.

>>726301162
I don't think so?
Look up the helm of awe.
Shit like that.

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>>726300222

>>726301173
Odin literally brought to midgard. So yes?

>>726301247
She loves docies and stuff.
We are currently watching cosmos.

>>726301314
wonder, fuckin, why

>>726301635
Tardis britfag magic believing ham slammer spotted

>>726301419
Just a bit strange the way her life collapsed.

>>726301537
I don't remember that being in the movie.

>>726301755
Look into the eddas

>>726301753
Her life being my wife's, after I told her to hex my ex David and she wouldn't. I'm starting to have my doubts.

Can she get better at the magic shit? Is there improvements?

Also, she suck dick or what

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>>726294045
Could she turn me into a beautiful woman? And if so; will she?

>>726301865
She does suck dick and sometimes there are improvements although subtle. She wants me to let a cute boy have his way with me but I told her that David permanently ruined that for me

>>726301865
Sucks my cock more than any cunt I've been with.
Magic is like teaching yourself to lucid dream. Takes practice.

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>>726297118
It's not separated. Those are some of the schools of magic that a wizard can choose to specialize in at the expense of one or more schools. A normal wizard/mage has unrestricted access to all schools. Min/maxers who need that extra spell at first level like to sacrifice schools they are not interested in to specialize.

Honestly , if ONE PERSON , ONE SINGLE PERSON would be able to prove that magic exists to me, it would be so fucking amazing.

I've actually tried it and tried believing in it but I can't

help

>>726302023
Yes she can but she needs to finish me first. I'll put in a good word

>>726302023
Not that I am aware of. Sorry m8

>>726302090
>can't lucid dream naturally
pleb

>>726301753

No, not at all.

This is how "magic" fools retards like you, a coincidence has you jizzing your pants but every time it doesn't work your either ignore it or make extreme jumps in logic to try make a connection.

Did your crazy wife specifically say "This is a nightmare and prostitution hex, in 2 months she'll get arrested" or did your wife just go "Wow, this is a bitch, watch this crazy shit" and then 6 months later turns out she's a criminal?

If "magic spells" work in an unspecified, vague way within an unspecified timeline then there is no difference between magic and coincidence.

>>726302143
I'm sorry m8. Nothing I can do for you here.

>>726302203
Obviously you aren't op

>>726302090
Does lying to strangers about having a wife, be it magical or not, make you feel better about yourself?

>>726301468
helm of awe doesn't use a rune combiner, she must be trampian odinian.
That's a very strong witch op, you'll live a very nice life with her. you can learn more about her strength from some websites around the web, the best one is www.gloryholefoundation.com. Hundreds of magic practices flock there

Hey man, if anything I believe you. Shits crazy. Thanks for answering my questions tho.

Send me good luck with wife anon.

>>726302356
Sometimes it does but usually only surfaces as lies when she takes her dick hex out of my mouth

>>726302265
You may be right. Maybe it's a coincidence. But minor breakings of the laws of physics did it for me.

>>726301323

No, the complexity of the human body prohibits the manifestation of a personality within an otherwise inanimate object. A mind cannot be conserved inside of a metal shell.

>>726294045
Is this reddit? What's with the fuckin AMAs

>>726302409
Kek

>>726302409
Op here.
I lol'd

>>726302602
That's a lie, and you're a charlatan.

>>726302602
Not OP

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>>726302482
Found your picture

>>726302591

> But minor breakings of the laws of physics did it for me.

Never happened, you either don't understand physics or were fooled by an easily explainable phenomenon/optical illusion.

There is no such thing as a "minor" breaking of the laws of physics, anything that doesn't adhere to the laws of physics as we know them now wouold be one of the biggest discoveries in the history of the universe if she could objectively and reatedly break the laws of physics she should be the most famous person on the planet an you should be rolling in cash.

Learn what Occhams Razor is and apply it to your life

>>726294045
We all are you dumb cunt

>>726302265
/thread op go back to David

>>726302952
I do know that magic for financial gain is a big no no.
She's not the only one and bad things would happen m8.

>>726302174
Cool, thanks!

>>726302979
>tfw david was 'hexed' and is now in jail for raping a minor

>>726303167

Are you also a physicist?

Why should we take your word that she broke physics when you have no actual understanding of how physics works?

Also amazing that such a specific rule about not using it for monetary gain, it's almost as though it's a defense mechanism by the crazies to avoid scrutiny.

>>726302591

This is my first question here. You said magic is probably not what we quite expect it to be, so I wanted to know what it is like. Could you be more especific? For example, tell about these minor breakings of physics laws and what kind of means did she use to achieve them

Does she practice any spirit keeping?

>>726302482
No problem m8.
That's why I made this thread

>>726303167
You are more full of shit than Rosie O'donnell's septic tank.

>>726303440
No I'm not a physicist. She make sure coco wheats nearly every near every morning and stirs the pot without touching the spoon.
Still weird seeing it.

>>726303481
It's vague. Nothing like Harry Potter shit.

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If she's around, ask her what Song/Artist I'm listening to.

Follow up for bonus xp: Ask her what your last 4 digits on the reply to this post will be.

>>726303706

Occhams razor. Google it.

>>726303495
Dunno what that is, so I guess not?

>>726303779

Vague objectively has no difference to coincidence.

>>726303799
She's at her mums tonight.
That's why I'm getting oissed and making shitty threads.
Even if she was here, I don't think she could know

>>726303779

Would you try to describe it? Give some examples

>>726303839
So I guess I'm wolverine and heal with my own mutant powers lmao.

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>>726304025

Ahh no worries m8. Enjoy the healing.

For the record it was Night Boat to Cairo by Madness
>Down Under is on deck..

>>726304117
Healing me over night from sickness, calming animals, stirring spoons with her finger without touching them, killed a dog with bad luck(lightning) has fried electronics with a temper, does a parlor trick where she drops an apples and It falls slower than it should
I mm drunk I'm not sureness what else to say.

>>726304212
Listen to Africa tonight m8

>>726299400
LMFAO

>>726304789
was the spoon a special spoon and was the pot a special pot? or can she do that with any spoon and/or pot?

>>726304789
Post pics of her

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>>726305013

After 'Like a prayer'.

I have a guilty love of this song.

>>726304186

No, you're just a fucking idiot being taken in by the placebo effect.

>>726305367
I guess it raaaaains down in aaaaaaafricaaaaaa

>>726305070
Any, the spoon is a plastic pos that I bought and the pot is a normal steel pot. She's done it about every morning with a Bunch of combinations lol

>>726305621
To clarifying she's browsing cafe mom while she's cooking. Burned her breakfast More than once but she's constantly stirrings that way.

>>726294045
https://soundcloud.com/yungnero210/im-being-chased-in-my-dreams-1

make me good at music

>>726304789

> over night from sickness

I also recover overnight from sickness. I go to bed feeling quite ill and wake up better

MUST BE MAGIC LMAO

Also, people like you (Morons who want to believe) stretch the truth of events in your own minds to make them seem more impressive

Going to bed fairly sick and waking up feeling better (But not 100% cured) sees like magic to you when it's just how recovery normally works. You imagine you were far sicker and remember feeling 100% better when in reality you had the sniffles and it got kinda better the next day

> calming animals

100% of the worlds population can calm animals, it's body language and tone of voice

> stirring spoons with her finger without touching them

A boiling pot will move a spoon on it's own, or it's simply a sleight of hand trick, or you're seeing things. Occhams razor.

> killed a dog with bad luck

Again, when there is no difference between her magic and coincidence then it's just horseshit you're stretching to tie together.

Did she specifically say "It's gonna die from a lightning strike 2 weeks from now"? Or did she say "I cursed that dog lmao" and 4 years later it died?

I can go on but you get the point

>>726295645
It's genetic?

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Any weird/spoopy shit happen to you in your personal life when she's not around? Like do you feel she sorta protects/guides you away from bogus supernatural shit?

I only ask because my aunt claims to be "sensitive" and tries to do that for my folks and I. I've gone to her house and theres fucking salt in every door way and shit of that nature. Anything like that, OP?

>>726305538

> No logical reply for a well documented scientific phenomenom that would explain away my silly beliefs

> Better just ignore it LMAO

At least you two seem good together, you're either both morons or she's a con man and you're a moron

>>726305966
It's More than just sickness, nearly cut my thumb off at work. Not More than a scar now. Took two Days to heal

>>726305621

A plastic spoon weighs a mere few grams, a boiling pot is going to move that around by itself.

>>726296419
spoopy

>>726296686
So you're Vikings?

>>726305966
She said she took care of the trash dog problem. Three days later it's dead Fromm being struck by lightning.

>>726306150

Again, events you stretch in your mind.

It's well documented phenomenon that people who believe in bullshit like this exaggerate the events in their mind, the likely reality is the cut was nowhere near as bad as you remember, it took longer to heal than 2 days (But it seemed "Almost healed" in two days, so that was good enough for you to go "Yeah it's healed") and the placebo effect has been documented to speed recovery from injury.

Keep in mind that people have had surgeries completely conscious and awake and felt no pain because of the placebo effect. It's ridiculously powerful.

>>726305966
The spoon thing, she does it daily. Idk of you've ever made coco wheats but it doesn't need stir easily.

>>726296778
rollin

>>726306315

Again a vague prediction.

On the


"Odds she's magic and odds it's coincidence" side the coincidence seems about 99.99999999999999999999999998% more likely.

Especially because she didn't predict lightning.

How do we know the dog wasn't hanging around a tree or a some metal during the storm?

You said it dug into the trash, if you have metal trash cans it's highly probable the dog was digging through them when the storm started.

>>726306010
Fucking salt.
She puts it everywhere.

>>726306158
Coco wheats and cream of rice.
Make some.

>>726306660
Plastic bins

>>726306494

And until we see pics it didn't happen.

As I said, it's well documented believers in nonsense stretch events in their mind, to the point you probably genuinely believe you see her stirring it magically.

Do it in a testable way, you said she can;t profit from it (Again, what a stupid fucking arbitrary rule clearly made up to avoid any scrutiny) she doesn't have to. Break the laws of physics at a university, do it for free. Do it in a mask so it's anonymous.

>>726306778

Show me a video of your crazy wife stirring it magically.

>>726306660
or doggo got electrocuted by normal means but was during storm so no one saw and everyone assumed lightning

>>726306660
The dog was laying in the middle of a field during a thunderstorm. Never heard of a dog doing that.

>>726306872

Or a tree. Or a satellite dish. Or some metal. Or just unlucky af.

Notice how you are ignoring the other possibilities (Like the tree) because you cannot explain them away? All you could answer was the bit about metal bins, because you have plastic ones.

So you make excuses, explain what you can and ignore the rest, a typical defensive mechanism, well documented in those who believe in crazy. Deny common sense, ignore science, deflect criticism and answer one point you can and in your mind you explained away the criticism. You didn't, you answered a tiny portion of it.

>>726294045
Is your wife doing any magic work for the corporations? One of the wizards in the local magic scene has been trying to get me to sign on with GC to help design ward aperatures for summoning circles once I get my degree, and I'm wondering if you'd have any opinion of corp work. The pay offer and benefits look really great but I've heard some horror stories about the hours.

>>726307196
>>726307014
Laying in a field. No tree nearby.
I don think any trees were struck.

>>726306692

Really? Does she do the thing with making sure there's either a crucifix or bible in eyeshot of every entrance? That shit has always bothered me.
Friggin Dago superstition...

Also-
>Putting on Zevon
>After; Rush, The Doors or Hendrix?

>>726307014

My dog likes thunder and fireworks, he chases after them, we have to lock him indoors during storms because otherwise he'll run after them. He watches them from the windows.

And sick dogs lie in fields. He dug into the trash you say? Ate some bad shit, got sick, went to lie in a field.

Much more reasonable and probable than "DUDE MAGIC LMAO"

Until your wife can perform something she specifically predicted in a demonstrable and repeatable fashion were outside observers are allowed to examine then we must assume she is crazy and you are really fucking dumb.

>>726307014
it's animal instinct to lay down during a storm if they can't get to shelter. have you never paid attention to animals or at least read about common shit? oh right, you believe your wife is a witch and you claim to not be that smart.

>>726307297
Nah, it's way More low key than I seem to Be portraying lmao

>>726307372
No, we aren't check christians.

>>726307359
As anon said it doesn't matter anyways because burden of proof is on you to prove magic exists, not on us to disprove it .

>>726307196
dude, relax.
OP is a very good troll or he truly believe in it. in either scenarios, you won't convince him otherwise. so just calm down and move on with your life

>>726307545
i could understand that for the bible, but people say the shape of the crucifix is special. so wouldn't that still be a thing even for pagans?

>>726306456
>surgeries completely conscious
I don't know about that. I once believed, earnestly, that a dentist gave me enough of a shot of novocaine to not feel the work they were about to do on my teeth.

I was immediately wrong, and they had to poke more needles in my mouth. Maybe I'm not that susceptible to suggestion, who knows.

>>726307597
Some of you guys are so offended that's your world view is being challenged. Lmao

My wife is a witch too op

Is fun, would do again

>>726307497
... I don't know how you've been portraying it throughout the thread, I didn't feel like reading 270 posts just to have the thread be kill by the time I was done. Was just hoping your wife (or you) would have some experience with magical or magical design work for a corporation. I take it your response means neither of you have gone professional with it?

>>726307706
No crucifixes in the house. We do have an oak staff at the front door and one at the back though. She said they're there so Odin can hang his hat. I lold

>>726307860
"magic isn't for profit"
"would be bad"

>>726307860
I mm just a meathead, she is a housewife/waitress. So no lol

>>726307990
>"magic isn't for profit"
Oh fuck you're a fundamentalist. Go fuck a goat in a stone circle magicuck, people like you are the reason that 95% of the advancements made in magic over the last hundred years have been made in corporate labs.

>>726307932
Being chucked by odin.
Am
I bejng cucked by the all father?
Lel

>>726307726
No proof means no challenge

>>726308148
You know the circle wouldn't be happy about that...

>>726308148
quoting OP. I say you are either a loon or an enabling troll

>>726294303
no there are no love spells.
that was the whole point of Aladdin dummy.

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>>726307706

This^ I understand you're beliefs probably lie pretty far from my mainstream catholic relatives' lol.

I do believe that in some circles crosses/crucifixes were used in the blessing and sanctification of houses, I was just more so wondering if you did anything similar to that? Or is it pretty much just salt and the occasional goat picture?

>>726308210
I think I'm gonna kick his ass

>>726308330
Please, tell me about "the circle" and how important it is, despite the fact that it hasn't done shit to stop government or corporate funded research. "Using magic for profit is a sin, and will lead to your doom!" *100 years later everything is still fine* You people are worse than the christfags.

>>726308346
Neither, and I admit I probably overreacted, I'm just sick of how many amateur magic practitioners let superstition and tradition control their actions. "Nah bruh we can't do the ritual without smoking weed first and killing this goat, if we don't demons will eat our souls and give us schizophrenia!"

>>726308428
The only goat symbol s in my house seen thors goats and a goatskin book

>>726307726
evaluating, testing, vetting. not offended. and you aren't doing so well

>>726308605
Don't believe in demons lel

>>726308605
perhaps you will do better at proving magic for us than OP. you seem to have a modern, scientific approach to this.

>>726308849
Op is also vrey drunk.
Com at me LMAO

>>726308849
This

>>726308849
Yup! Within the four minutes it'll take for this thread to kill, I'm going to make a series of proofs that will radically alter everything you know about the world and the people in it!

>>726294743
yeah its called an immune system

science is some magical shit

Are guys capable of magic or only girls?

>>726309079
counting. I'm assuming that was a calculated prediction

>>726309257
IVE only ever heard of girls. But Odin brought it to mortals so mb dudes too?

>>726296069
A magician

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>>726308631

Any chance you'd buy a goat to have as a pet or potential sacrifice?

>>726309354
What about a Trans person?

>>726308849
>>726308962
Alright, realistically speaking I don't have time to discuss this at length because thread kill, but a few quick points:

Magic is real, and it mostly comes down to human (and sometimes animal or computer) will and intention manipulating energy under highly specific circumstances.

95% of the woo woo mysticism that surrounds it comes down to either legend, superstition, or primitive beliefs that compensate for a quantifiable principle (an example of this would be ye olde "Never use magic for profit or the spirits will get mad" idea, which is an apocryphal message that helps avoid the energy imbalances that tend to lead to Bad Things Happening to people who skew probability for themselves, IE "I made a spell to make myself very fortunate in business, and it works, but equal and opposite reaction that occurs later (or before, or during) skews probability against me in another way, so the business deal goes great but a car hits my dog." Nowadays we compensate for those imbalances by building magical research and practice factilities on top of ley lines, where that "bad karma" is basically piss in a river.

>>726309441
My neighbor has goats. I like them and have considered getting a few. I'm lactose intolerant so it would be cool lol

>>726309498
LOL trains

>>726309577

I agree. Goats have generally good personalities and will eat your grass. 10/10 farm animal. do want.

also want burro so I can have a burrbro for my goat.

>>726309531
You abuse Odin gifts.

New magic thread if any of you fuckers want to keep talking.

>>726309878

>>726309079
>>726309531
took you four and a half minutes and thread isn't kill yet. stfu and get out.

"i'll post proofs that'll radically change your mind" bullshit, you're no better making defensive excuses and vague reasonings

>>726309802
Cry me a river, goatfucker. You people have been practicing magic for 8000 years and barely made any advancements, whereas 2 years after GC had just dipped their toe into the magical research pool, they'd already cracked computer spell initiation and virtual summoning spaces.