Sup /b/. How do I get out? I forgot that this lock got his key

if not bait call 911 asap lock cutters to start maybe

>>726189966
Guys c'mon. I don't want to go to the hospital.

Smash the lock with a hammer

>>726190244
Wtf, I'm not doing something so stupid

Pick the lock or enjoy an awkward and probably painful trip to the ER.

Learn how to pick the lock with a bobby pin. You can google this stuff.

Stay away from >>726189138

>>726190176
Then your dumb ass shouldnt have stuck a lock on your junk.
You deserve the humiliation of a ER trip.

Try lubing them up with bengay ointment

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>>726189966
if not b8, power drill into the keyhole

>>726190333
>wtf im not doing something that stupid
Because putting a lock on your nutsack is not fucking stupid

Go to the ER, or find someone who you can borrow some bolt cutters from, or kill yourself so your kind is no longer is the gene pool.

But Seriously, go to the ER. Yeah it'll be embarrassing but they'll get it off. Embarrassment in front of strangers is better than having your balls be in constant pain and possibly have them die.

>>726190359
Okay. I just googled but it doesnt say anything relevant to my situation.

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>>726190592
he meant to say pee hole.

>>726190598
It wasnt my fault. The idea should have worked if i had the key

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>>726189966
sweet fucking jesus PLEASE call a locksmith and have him work on that lock. imagine the look on a fuckers face when hes asked to pick a cock lock for money

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>>726189966
acetylene torch

use an oven mitt for insulation

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>>726189966
own up to your mistakes. Hot knife those nuts off.

>>726190660
Stop fucking around. Your balls are in a lock, you need to either seek medical help or just let them stay like that.
But then again if you leave it on and lose your ability to reproduce then that saves the world from jelly brained idiots like you.

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>>726190827
>"cock lock"

>>726190827
I tried calling before but he told me to stop wasting his time with stupid pranks,

>>726189966
Push/pull your nuts through one at a time.

>>726190818
How is putting a lock on your scrote not your fault?

>>726191075
oh my sides. of you keep calling i bet you can find someone whos willing

Are you fucking retarded?

>>726190806
Kek

The emergency line just laughed it off.
How the fuck am i supposed to drive naked to the hospital.

>>726191166
Fucking lowkey kek

>>726191422
Put some basketball shorts on with no underwear you dunce.

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This fucking thread. Post timestamp.

>>726191422
with a dildo in your ass you pathetic faggot.

>>726189966
provide time stamp kind sir

Tear your scrote apart.

Pull out one ball.

Remove the lock.

Put ball back in the scrote.

Weld your scrote tear.

timestamp

>>726191422
wtf? how does a lock on yo balls keep ypu from putting pants on? i mean ig you could get a towel amd wrap it arround you or something like a towel

>>726191075
You might have to drive there and show them to make them believe. If they're getting numb or hurting badly go to the hospital

You are a fucking degenerate that deserves to have his ability to have kids taken away, you fucking scum. I hope you actually try to fix this mistake of yours yourself. Also, kill yourself. The pain will stop sooner.

Acquire bolt cutters you monkey

If you're into caging get a decent piece off of amazon they're like 30$

Source: Am wearing a chastity cage.

>>726191633
this

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Would getting an erection like rip his balls off or what

>>726189966
Keep on, it will make your chonkas bigger

>>726190176
you can try to pick it.. got a pin or sthg?or take a thin sheet of metal and try to shim it with some thin sheet of metal like from a can. goot luck though, may be hard with ur balls inside it

>>726189966
Wait until they turn black and shrivel. Then it will slip right off.
see: elastration

>>726189966
butter up and try popping one nut out at a time

>>726191479
I only have skinny jeans dude. I'm not picking one of my gf's dresses

>>726191936
No? Do you know how male genitals work?

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>>726189966
harbor freight has 12" bolt cutters for 9 bucks

why anybody would put a padlock on their nuts without having the key is beyond me

pic related

>>726189966
go steal something sharp from a neightbow

>>726191999
Checked.

What kind of faggot only owns skinny jeans?

>>726189966
Blow a massive load and rip lock apart like superman of the dick

>>726191999
>I only have skinny jeans dude.
Fucking faggot

>>726191999
GET A TOWEL THEN YOU KEY-LESS NIGGER

>>726192088
kek

>>726189966
Just call a locksmith dude.... It's probably gonna cost extra

>>726191999
call a locksmith and post audio here

>>726192002
I guess not. Like there isn't much skin over those balls and doesn't getting a boner like take skin away from your balls? I'm not an expert.

>>726192090
>>726192076
I'm skinny dude. Call down.

>>726189966
Just fucking kill yourself for doing something this fucking retarded OP

>>726192180
>>726192188
kek

timestamp or gtfo

>>726191999
trips means you must wear her dress

>>726189966
Whatever u do don't take a piss or u will rust the fucker up

>>726191999
God you are literally putting your family jewls in grave danger and your still on /b/ waiting for solid advice when more than half the replies are.
>go to er you dumb fucking potato

>>726192207
Me too, man, I'm 130 pounds.
I have one pair of skinny jeans that I bought in like 6th grade.

>>726192207
>>726192207
Fucking hell, get some sweatpants or something.

wait just one fucking second. either you keep random locks arround your house Unlocked or you used the key then lost it instantly. whats up op?

>>726189966
There is a video showing how to pick these locks. Look for a video where someone uses a coke can. They cut out a piece and force it over the pin that locks the hook on the male part. There are hundreds of videos showing this.

>>726192264

I dont care, this is fucking hilarious

>>726192201
I guess if you have tight testicle skin. But as long as you had a seat warmer or something to keep the balls from getting cold and shriveling up he'll be comfortable enough.

if youre dumb enough to do this, you deserve to lose them.

>>726191999
confirmed b8 thread
Chq'd btw

>>726191936
Nice picture. Perfect for some questions or statements. And it's original.

>>726191774
pics you faggot

>>726192339
this
>>726192207
you must own pajama bottoms or something loose like that

Maybe he lost the key up his ass?

>Heat up metal
>Lube up balls
>Metal will expand
>balls will be slippery
>Hope to god it works

>>726190598
No its beyond retarded

>>726192343
I got confused and picked the wrong one.
Already tried using the other key in hopes it worked but it didnt.

You guys think i can sue the brand that created this lock?

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>>726189966
You are fucked

>>726192076
The same that like having their male parts controlled by women.

Hipsters are destroying the male species, not feminists

>>726192599
ARE YOU MENTALLY RETARDED?

>>726192180
nice

>>726192599
sue? are you joking?
> i ran over my balls with my car can i sue?

Did you lose it up your ass, anon?

>>726192707
I mean. They should include extra keys.

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>>726189966
lol

>>726192599
100%bait bye

>>726192555
>>726191999
>>726190333
>>726189966
>>726190877
>>726191166
>>726191399
>>726191422
>>726191633
>>726191977
>>726192088
>>726192188
>>726192599


not too shabby

>>726192599
"Yeah, uhhh, I'm filing a lawsuit against this lock brand, because I locked it around my fucking ballsack and forgot that I lost they key, but none of it is my fault, because the lock should've had the key, right? Like, why couldn't they just put the keys attacked to the lock so you can't lose them? Wouldn't that be the smarter thing to do so you don't end up in my situation? Company's fault. I want their money."

fucking retard

>>726192868
or not sell locks to actual autistic people

>>726192985
Holy fuck, how even?

Okay guys. I called my sister and she's coming here soon.

>>726192985
>>726193088
Add one more to that list.

>>726189966
Look up lock picking videos on youtube and hope you're a quick learner. You should also hope the lock doesn't have anything to help prevent lock picking. If it does, you're either gonna have to hire a lockpick to pick the lock around your dick or have EMS cut it off.

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op is beyond salvation. save your dignity and sterilize yourself faggot.

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What the fuck is wrong with you

>>726193189
How did you explain this to your sister?
"i was getting into my makeshift chastity ring, when i realised that the lock i had had no fucking key"

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>>726193215
i saw that

>>726193189
TELL HER TO BRING BOLT CUTTERS FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR BALLS JESUS CHRIST

FUCKING TELL HER

>>726193332
I told her my gf put it on me before leaving this morning while i was sleeping.

believable

>>726193332
she grew up with him. she's probably used to helping him with his stupid shit

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>>726193215

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>>726193189
hahahahaha. you make the WORST choices.
>put lock on balls without makingsure i have key
>maybe sue?
> i know ill call my sister


this thread is so fucking stupid

>>726189966
If it is the cheap type of lock I'm thinking of, you don't even have to pick it, you can get the handle from a paper clamp, (take it off of the rest of the paper clamp) push it all the way to the bottom of the keyhole and twist.

Okay guys the pain is dissapearing. Maybe they will get smaller if i put them on ice.

>>726193447
you're girlfriend wanted to sterilise you the hard way is your excuse? Anon, you're a complete fucking retard. Grade A

>>726193611
it's amazingly stupid because it's not real

>>726193447
Ask her to jack you off too
This is fake as fuck but funny so well done u faggot ass op

>>726189966
Liquid nitrogen and a steady hand.

>can't pick that lock

Millenials are useless failures of men. Must be the estrogen in the water and the hormones in the beef.

>>726193775
>>726193779
stop ruining the illusion hivemind cunts

>>726193701
Heat would be better, pour boiling water on them

>>726193701
>Okay guys the pain is dissapearing.
Your balls are going numb you fucking autistic cunt

>>726192581
>>Heat up metal
>>Lube up balls
>Balls are now on fire

>>726193863
ice water for shrinkage

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>>726193692
here's wtf a paper clamp is.

Op here. You know who's "fucking retarded"? All of you for falling for this obvious bait :)

>>726193815
you mean the same water and meat you eat?

>>726193815
I dont eat meat tho. Made a pact with my gf since she's vegan

>>726193931
so both of you have a vagina then?

>>726193929
I have a well and eat local beef.

>>726193931
Even worse, pussy who can't stand animals dying.

>>726193905
Okay. I have two of those. What do i do with them .

>>726189966

Do this and try not to slice your nuts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPtQ_rVSfSI

Thanks for the ride anyways.

>>726194084
have some nice background music while you do it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9sGhNoSG3o&ab_channel=VietglishFun

>>726194069
Nah. My gf is just super religious and shit

Looks like someone's going to have to nut up and call a locksmith.

>>726194073
take one of the silvery parts out of the black part.

then the part that was stuck into the black part make a good torque wrench.

>>726194351
or drive to a hospital in their underwear

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>>726194203
You sound emasculated. If she wanted to peg you, you'd probably let her.

My sister just got here. She laughted and took a pic. Wtf.

>>726194425
I'm straight .

>>726194425
OP here, I love getting fucked in my tight little hole by my girlfriend. She doesn't need a strap on though, she has a feminine penis, so it's not technically gay.

>>726194550
Toppest Kek

>>726194550
fucking kek

>>726194550
top kek

>>726194559
Incest is wincest?

We are going to the hospital. I told her to jerk me off to see if it helped but she only gave me a weird look.

>>726189966
If you are really stuck do this

>>726194952
https://youtu.be/1jJP0CcuJyE

>>726189966
You are all stupid. BUTTER THEM UP, THEN DIP THE BALLS INTO ICE BUCKET TO REDUCE SWELLING SO IT SLIPS OFF

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Op, it has a keyhole, just do pic related

Heyagunandshootitogg

>>726194952
>>726194982
I would suggest the same thing, but look at that pic again. The lock barely fits. There's no way he's getting a couple of crescent wrenches in there without crushing his nuts.

>>726193902
Boiling water will cause them to expand and bust out of their metal bonds like Spartacus!

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>I don't know how we got here

>>726195779
No one does. No one.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw3x750OYbs


It's an invaluable skill to have and your time to learn is now, OP.

>>726195602
True, but if he keeps them freezing cold long enough they might die and stay small, so he won't get stuck in this kind of situation again.

You're way would also make it so he wouldn't get caught again, but at least with my way he'd kinda have his nuts.

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>>726189966
Is that an advanced or expert lock?

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Either OP is a faggot or just dumbass, just pick the lock.

Ps. Timestamp or didn't happen.

>>726189966
find a mistress with a lock picking tool to grant you a sentence and the pray that she lets you out.

>>726190592

Take a video in case the drill bit gets stuck and the lock starts spinning, it would be like one of those bull castration videos.

Is OP ded? I thing OP is ded. Deded of loss of balls. Rip Anon.

>>726190592
If this dude ate me out. I would get a yeast infection .

>>726198613
No shit.

bust one last nut then kiss yer plums goodbye

>>726198613
>implying there isn't a loaf in the oven already

>>726190818
wtf was the idea....

>>726189966
get yourself nice and warm, so your balls drop and allow more space for the nuts to hang so youre not suffocating them

>>726196899
Quality image thanks for the laff

So, this is definitely getting screencapped. Too many keks.

Absolutely stunning.

>>726189966
Balls of Steel

This was the best trainwreck I've ever been a part of. 10/10, would relive again.

>>726189966
Freeze it with canned air, then break with pliers

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a strategically operated die grinder and cutoff wheel could save you OP.

>>726199913
Just like in the cinema!

>>726199982
And one hell of a steady hand

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>>726199573
Anytime.

>>726199982
new nightmare scenario

>>726200009
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9j4DqevlIRY
Except it actually works.

Keep jacking off until your balls shrivel up and can fit through the locks

>>726200056
>>726196899
I didn't see that when it was originally posted, kek'ed the fuck out of me.

>>726189966
better timestamp nigger

>>726200330
Please, this dude has definitely gone to the hospital if he has one single brain cell. No more pics

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>>726199982
And make his nutsack look like the back of Darth Vader's head too.

>>726190244
lol

>>726199334
kek

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>>726200601

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Is this place filled with new fags?

>No time stamp
>Bullshit bait about wrong key

>>726201270
TOP KEK
THANK YOU

>>726201270
Fucking lost it

>>726201270
KEK'D

>>726194550
Zozzle

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>>726189966
You'd better already own a lockpick and torsion wrench or you're fucked.

>>726201270
ＴＯＰ　ＫＥＫ
Ｏ
Ｐ
Ｋ
Ｅ
Ｋ

And then it was all dead. The end. The lock stayed on forever.

>>726189966
Your balls are squishy and malleable OP.
Just pull one nut so that it's in front of the other and force them through the opening one at a time.
It'll ache for a bit but at least you won't have to go to the hospital.
Trust me, I've been in this situation before.

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Not a single fucking newfag has asked for proof, timestamp or whatever..

>2017
>90% newfag

>>726205378
Not one newfag? come on, every third post was a timestamp.
>>726205252
He's already been there for at least 3 hours

>>726190558
This. It will make your balls slippery plus will make your sack numb so you can push it through without discomfort.

you still stuck?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEOWb68YumY

>>726199982
it would actually be smarter to thickly wrap his balls in a towel of some kind , then secure the lock in a vice and use a grinder on the lock , not the lock ring.

>>726189966
call a locksmith hahahhahaha they'll have that thing picked in no time

>>726208130
don't you mean cocksmith

As long as your balls ain't turning blue/purple it means there's still blood flowing to them you have time and they're not going to die. I would try either lots of lube and a nice warm bath so the skin is loose and push then though one and a time or bolt cutters. If they're turning blue and cold fuck your embarrassment and get your ass to the ER.

>>726208159
ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

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>>726208300

>>726192373
This. Op do this.

Identify the lock make and model

Search youtube for how to pick it

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>>726189966
Call the locksmith!!