Weird shit you do that you think no one else does. >lay down

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>>726071348
>>24 year old paperboy
>>Always wear helmet
>>Diaper
>>Wears for three days
>>Plays baseball against 12 year olds
>>Still loses
>>Never talked to a girl

>>726071713
Sound like a real benchwarmer.

>>726071348
>lay down sleep in the shower
I fall asleep in the bathtub several nights a week. I would lay down in the shower but the hot water runs out too fast. A hot bath stays hot much longer.

>>726071348
i do both of those

>the ol cum shirt
nice
i did that for about a year but i use toilet paper now

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purposefully get boners and walk around so that people look at my boner bulge

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>>726071979
My fucking man

Every time I jack off I cover my dick hole right before I cum and then ninja squabble to cum inside the toilet.
Also I use masturbation as positive reinforcement to take showers and use acne lotion.

Anyone else either of these two?

>>726072333
>Check'd

i piss in the sink while getting ready

>>726071348
I'm a grown-ass man and unapologetically pick my nose. I don't like shit in my nose, ok?

OP here I also piss in the woman's bathroom at work except I don't use the toilet I piss in the sink

instead of using chapstick i chew the dry part of my lip off

sniif my hand after touching balls

>>726072833
everyone picks their nose, thats not special

>>726072877
nioce

>>726072916
i do this every time

>>726072916
everytime

I shift my jaw from side to side when I drive. Clench for sidewalk and relax for driveways

Still imagine sonic running along side the car when going fast enough

>>726072913
>>726072916
Cum in toilet fag here, same

>>726072833
I'm a grown man, shit in my nose pisses me off. but I still eat it like I did as a kid...

I had a girlfriend that used to pick her nose and wipe it on the side of my car seat. Eating it's way cleaner than any of that shit.

>>726071348
wash my hands before pissing so I dont get germs on my dick

>>726071348
post pics of shirt

>>726071348
Hey, Christian.

>>726072913
everyone does that.

>>726072916
Im literally doing this right now.

>>726073052
lol real?

when my gf falls asleep I will go over pull down my pants and fart right above her face. She jumps every time and fucking hates it usually leaves after

>>726071348
I have tons of extra workout shorts and shirts that make excellent cum catchers. The fabric is better than lube. Plus you can wash it and wear it if need be

>>726073136
liar, has no GF

Rip out my ass pubes

>>726072502
So every time you shower you let yourself fap

>>726073203
Right here, buddy

when i rub my eyes i cant resist turning my eyelids inside out

>>726072877
What a bad mkthercujer

>>726072953
But I eat it

>>726073227
It's more of, if I fap I have to take a shower after or otherwise I'll go weeks without taking one. It's the only way I take showers often enough to not Smell like shit.

>>726071348

I chew on the neck of my shirt, so all my shirts are extremely wrinkled and lose around the neck. I guess that's weird for a 30 year old to do

Niggggggg

>>726073048
I'm an ass grown man, shit in my nose pisses me off. but I still pick my ass unapologetically, pick my nose, then pick the shit out of my nose and eat it. Like I did as a kid...

I had an uncle that used to pick his ass, pick his nose and wipe it on the side of my face. Eating the shit is way cleaner than any of that shit.

>>726073054
Switch sleeves each night kek

>>726071348

when fapping I rub my cock over my basketball shorts/boxers and just come in my boxers. I do shower and change them every day but not right after I cum and usually cum in them a few times a day

>>726073427
Did that in high school but have gotten better about it.

>>726073427
Do you suck the saliva out and swallow it too even though the first mouthful tastes like copper?

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>>726073515

I smell my own farts when I'm sitting down.

>>726073554
Tastes good

>>726071348
I fantasize about men using my daughter. I take and share creepshots and get increasingly riskier and riskier. I even gave a guy her kik, literally at their mercy.

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>>726073490

>>726073554
Not that guy but I do, I'm pretty bad for doing it to the bed covers too.

>>726071348
sleeping in the fucking shower is the best don't get to do it much any more but it's sweet to just kick back and let the hot water and steam relax ya. Bonus points I like to leave the lights off too so like gf will walk in with it totally dark shower runnin me sleepin my ass off.

>>726071348
I never go into my kitchen.
>been months since I've stepped foot in there.
>back when I went in there I bought a watermelon and never finished it
>half a watermelon is in my refrigerator
>been in there for nearly half a year
>no smell so I don't worry about it
I am slightly concerned there is some sort of living being in my refrigerator and if I ever open it I am going to die.

>>726073672
Unless you're giving the kik, go away

>>726073672
Post her kik

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>>726071348
>Bite ears of my cat
>Jerking off with normal porn and eyaculate watching a no-porn picture, just watching into his eyes.

I fap exclusively to creampie compilation videos -- specifically, compilation videos showing one cock after another pumping loads into pussies, preferably with as little other stuff as possible. Don't care about the foreplay, don't care about the fucking, don't care about seeing jizz drip out of the pussy. Just the throbbing dicks as they squirt cum loads into pussies. I've tried many other kinds of porn in the past but none of them turn me on like these.

When I get nervous, I breathe the beat of a song out if my nose

>>726073203
ayy me too

>>726073689
Agree. I also do this whenever I have the time.

>>726073615
Haha that's funny, I use to do that except I'd cup the fart in my hand first

>>726073909
I get where you're coming from but my kryptonite is when a girl forces a man to cum inside by wrapping their legs around him and squirming on that dick then letting it drip a little or before pushing it deeper in.

>>726071348
I randomly(not so random in my head tho) nlurt out stuff when I feel anxious emotionally like playing a game and losing or find something funny. Am I crazy?

Masturbateing on the toilet while taking a shit and cumming under a rum to hide all the cum stans on the floor from other members of the family

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>>726071713

>>726074096
Sounds like you have a tic or torrettes

>>726071348
I used to sleep in the shower at my parents place because it was massive. my showers to small to do it comfortably but i do just sit in the bottom sometimes. very relaxing.

>>726072502
Dude that cumming thing is fucked up. Get a few kleenexs and blow it on those. You shouldn't be holding your cum in your dick. Are you fucking retarded?

>>726074135
Just me or is masturbating better when you got a log built up inside

>>726074096
yeah man... i do that too
im crazy... on 5 different meds to stop the voices

>>726074255

why shouldn't u

>>726071348
piss in 2l platic coke or pepsi bottles then store them away for a year. put them in the trash and watch garbage men crush it in there truck puking there brains out from tha smell lmof every time i do this.

Everytime I take a shit, i get into the shower and dig and clean my butthole out with my finger.

I like to smell my own dick.

>>726074255
I mean it doesn't hurt anything. Just seems like less cleanup to me.

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Pick the crust from my eyes and actually enjoy it
Hold shit in for as long as possible to solidify it, less wiping
Sniff after cutting nails

>>726073052
I do this too. I want a clean dick when I beat off or fuck my girl later.

>>726074384
everyone likes their own brand of stank

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I come to /b/ to feel better about my life

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>>726073490

>>726074326
Retrograde ejaculation

>>726074255
Dude you guys are retarded. Just cum straight into the trash can if you have one in your room.

>>726074290
Idk anon i just feel like hitting two birds with a single stone cause i can take a bump and beat my meat

>>726071348
>>lay down sleep in the shower
I do this too. It's really comfy to me.

>>726074573
I blow into my underwear an throw that shit in the dirty clothes an get a new pair.

>>726074326
You ejaculate to expel the cum from your penis. It's meant to leave your urethra and be cleared out by the propulsion and also urine.

I'm assuming you are a low functioning individual right now.

>>726074725
Yup but something i just keep it on cause im too lazy to change

>>726074725
Why? I just don't see it to be feasible. If you have your own room and a trash can, cum right into it like a boss. Wipe penis head and repeat 2 hours later.

I shit right before jumping in the shower to save toilet paper and just spray my ass in the shower

>>726071348
I go outside to piss. Have been for nearly 4 years now. I usually piss on this small garden I've got growing in my yard and it helps the plants grow really well actually. If I have to use the restroom to piss, I always choose the sink over the toilet. I don't know how this habit started but it has raised many questions among my friends.

>>726074812
I mean it's not like I keep it in there a long time, dick is still hard by the time I'm in the restroom

>>726074573
The best part of jerking off is the orgasm. I'm not going to waste it by trying to angle my dick down to aim in a garbage can. Holy fuck kill your self

>>726073917
Omg same

>>726074962
You're a fucken retard. The trash can has a bigger opening ya dumb goof.

i like to watch anime
god help me

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You probably should browse to C:\Users\Administrator\Desktop\wbsite.txt to fap to local sluts nudes.

I like to be nude around other guys, and vice versa, them being nude around me, happens pretty often. the more awkward it is for the other guys, the better. showering together is the funnest. no homo buttsecks or anything like that though.

>>726074952
You are super weird. It sounds like you are jerking off out of habit and not even for enjoyment.

I eat all the red skittles first, then purple, followed by yellow, and then mix the green and orange. Fuck skittles they all should be red -)

>>726075062
You're just an in the closet faggot

>>726074942
I love cumming in the shower and watching that jizz shoot. Still need to get get more cum and more distance like Peter North. Any suggestions?

>>726075086
R.I.P. in peace me

>>726075182
It's all in how you hold and then squeeze the shaft

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>Think out loud, narrate my activities to myself like I am my own audience

>Taste my own urine (just a little) after meals to see if I'm dying

>under stress, chew on inner cheek until raw

>soak toilet tissue in saturated salt water and suck on it

>to fall asleep, I /must/ lay on my left side, and wrap my entire head in a blanket to muffle sound and block vision

>compulsively pick skin specifically on my back and ass

>take frigid showers twice a day and during winter wear short sleeve shirt / shorts

>empty bottled water into glass to drink

>eat frenched fries with a fork, pick up small food like corn or peas 1 at a time with thumb and index finger

I'm a mess, guys

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>>726075182
I got you anon

>>726075182
You ever get hard then let the shower water go straight into your dick hole? Feelsgoodman

During i huge shit, i never let it out straight away. I let a bit out and bring it back into my anus.

Piss in the sink constantly

Shit myself sometimes (on purpose)

Fuck trannies, twinks and ugly girls for the hell of it

Have worn my GFs underswear and jacked off

Have tucked my weenus between my legs and danced around like a phaggot

Always pull ugly as fuck faces when i see a mirror and no one else is around

Cum onto my coffee table

When people look at me on a train or bus, i talk in my mind "i know you can read my mind, look at me again" Sometimes they do and im convinced people can read my mind

Clean my gun daily even though i shoot twice a month

Fart into my hand and always breath it in

List goes on

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>>726074942
Poor fag detected

>>726075173
nah. maybe bi, yes. i dont have the desire to fuck them. sex with girls is way better

>>726075182
>Reply to Thread No.726071348

I will stop the flow with my thumb and left index finger around the shaft, then with the right hand i take my middle and index finger press the urethra from the balls upward in an upward motion pressurizing the shaft before releasing the left index finger.

>>726075408
What's the point of wiping prior to jumping right in the shower do you not wash your ass, degenerate?

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I find random people that are high online, add them on skype, and send them a trippy gif like pic related while they're already tripping and I enjoy their reactions.

>>726074048
Fucking same, hot a bone just reading it

>>726075274
I have tried this but it doesn't feel as good. Plus that doesn't give more quantity.

>>726075351
This is how I first started masterbating in puberty. Used to use the water to "tickle" my dick until white stuff came out. It does feel good anon.

>>726075347
Tried some of this and the diet stuff. I am thinking it is just genetic. All I can say it that the sensation of shooting a load is fucking great and I want a few more pumps in my reserves.

>>726075407
The part about the mind reading thing I do, the rest is pretty fucked up.

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>>726075746
You didnt ask me how to make it feel good, you asked me how to shoot further. Ya want quantity eat better and stop jerking off daily :P

>>726075644
I guess if you are Indian nothing. You will get shit on you hands unless you don't use you hands to clean your ass with soap. Plus what if you have the runs. I can see the brown water going down your leg anon. You disgust me.

>>726075407
Write a book, ill read it

>>726075746
Anon have you tried not choking you chicken for a while?

Feed my dog boogers

>>726074850
I do that too. All my underwears now have yellow stains

>>726075990
Well both actually. Porn guys can't be not fucking for a week before each shoot though. And I am talking the real shit, yet they fill a chick up to the brim and overflow. You can literally see there dick pumps that bitch full. And you you know every pump must feeling fucking great.

>>726075992
And you don't have shit on your hands?? you think some porus piece of paper is saving you from fecal matter you fool. You're in the fucking shower wash your hands idiot.

>>726072502
andrew?

>>726076153
Damn nigga dont just leave them unwashed for a month actually clean every week(end)

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>>726075029
You sick monster!

>>726073709
Why,though?

I make a fist with my hand until it it almost sweaty. Important point you can't let it get to actual sweat. Then I smell my hand through the opening in my fist near my thumb. I do this for thirty minutes off and on randomly.

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>>726076196
TFW you base your sexual paralysis against what you see on bangtube.

Love going into a public restroom to take a big shit and just as its crowning I start chanting 'Anon, Anon' and fist pumping the air until completion.

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Instead you could go to C:\Users\Administrator\Desktop\wbsite.txt to leak local sluts nudes.

I sleep naked in case someone wants to fuck me in my sleep

>>726074947
Nice. I wish I lived in the country again. I am a work and home sink pisser. I don't get off on it, it just seems more efficient.
What is sink water? Gray water? Is my sink piss processed ir does it go to the river?

On cold nights I'll when im suppose to bring my doggo out to piss i just let him piss in the kitchen

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>>726076667
I thought everyone does that.


Where you live bb?

>>726076785
No it gets sent to the nigger section of the city as drinking water

>>726073800
Everyone with a cat nibbles on its ears

I noticed recently I start rubbing my eyes like some retard when I'm fucking my gf and am about to cum. She thinks its hilarious.

>>726077536
Hey I do too!!
Well maybe right before I cum, but she's an ugly som of a bitch

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Can only get off to facesitting,fart sniffing, and piss drinking videos. 19 and it's been this was for 5 years. Someone send help

>>726071348
I can't cum unless a chick is telling me to cum inside her i even have to make sure the girl says it in all the porn i watch

>>726074695
What if you like... I don't know, you accidently clog the drain and the water builds up to your face/over the tub?

>>726071820
"a plum is purple, the inside is yellow!"

you fucking robot

>>726075182
Sound like that will hurt alot.
I usually just lick the cum off my hand so i don't make a mess if i have to go grab a tissue
The taste is always pretty neutral. Literally tastes like nothing, just slime coming out of your own body.
Cannot stop myself cringing at childish pussies who squeal at the thought of trying THEIR OWN cum

>>726075312
This is pretty autistic anon... not even trying to insult you but damn...

>>726077323
Everyautist who has a cat bites its ears

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>>726075407
Jim fucking Norton

Every15min I stand up at my computer and do a full helicopter spin with my dick just in case my webcam was hacked anybody watching me could witness this artistic act

Squirt warm - hot water up my ass every time i need to shit. fuck it feels good.

>>726078050
I have stress nightmares about tasting my own cum makes me gag thinking about it

Do u like being snowballed and shit like that or is it just a utility measure saved for cleanup?

>>726075407
>Piss in the sink constantly
I did this for a while

>>726075312
>>726075312
You're a retard, not a mess. Also, I wear whort sleevs and shorts all through the year, because I get too hot otherwise. When it is particularly hot and sunny I start to wear lighter and thinner clothes.

>>726078166
underage b&

>>726078254
So you're the fat guy in december going "Im not even cold guys, haha".

>>726074382
Yep only way to feel clean.
That's why im puzzled when a girl is trying to stall anal by saying she's not clean. That thing is disgusting.
Everyone has to clean their asshole from the inside too on a bidet or in the shower. Savages

>>726078263
I'm25

>>726073094

same

>>726078339
use a fucking syringe and squirt warm water up your butt. lol. clean as a fucking whistle and you'll still catch more than you can with a finger.

>>726072688
Doing the same. Don't think that's weird at all

When ppl ask me if I have kids, I tell them no.

To this day my son has still never found out. X)

I sit sideways on the toilet and not forward, been doing this since I was a kid.

I always pee in the shower or bath, even if I have to go before I get in the tub.

When I was a kid I always looked behind the shower curtain in the bathroom in fear of someone standing behind it. I even asked my mom to wait outside the door while I do my duty.

I drive drunk

>>726078482
Calm down Jamaal thats pretty common in the black community

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I am a Human Medicine student
Currently in the 5th year of the career
>Since I learned to percuss, I percuss everything, EVERYTHING, from objects to living animals and obviously people.

Picture very related

>>726078568
>look behind curtain
too much friday the 13th.

>>726075019
but running to the toilet won't waste it ? are you fucking stupid you piece of shit?

>>726075992
If he was indian he would have poo in designated street and forget about wiping/washing. I just dont like the scraping paper on my hairy asshole... If in a public restroom I alway spit sufficiently on the paper first

>>726078304
I'm not really that fat, 6'2 at 180Ib

When I piss, I undo my button and zipper and pull my boxers down past my dick instead of just putting my dick through the zipper

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Why don't you go visit Snapchat (y) .me to fap to your ex-gfs nudes.

I sit when I pee and stand when I poop.

>>726079116
I would piss on my floaters and try to blow them apart like log pissing game of sink that battleship

>>726079228
I eat food while on the toilet. Even if the stench is bad, i'll still eat.

I'll even continue eating food with the same hand I used to wipe my ass.

eat booger

>>726079116
I'm so post-modern that I sit down to wee, and stand up to poo, at job interviews

>>726079336
im immune to my own smell so eat away.

>>726072502
I just jerk off standing up and when I'm reaching climax I just fall into my knees and cum inside the toilet bowl, easy to clean, also you feel like a vietnam guy that killed every gook in the village and falls to his knees deep in the rice fields and screams to the sky.

>>726078207
That's what I was talking about. It's a sterile and tastless bodily fluid. I don't swallow it out of any sexual meaning just because i don't want to make a mess and cause it's another way to check if everything is ok

Fucking hypocrite.
> Look at me I'm so manly even the thought if cum disgusts me deeply. Yet I expect girls to love the taste of it.

What's next. You gonna tell me you don't eat pussy because that disgusts you too?

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>>726079494

>>726078415
>Syringe

Filthy amerifag. In Europe every showerhead is detachable and has a strong stream setting

>>726073709
>been months since I've stepped foot in there.

The proper saying is "set foot."

Sorry but that bothered me.

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Instead you could browse to Snapchat (y) .me to share local sluts nudes.

I stick my cat's tail into my vagina and I love to feel it wiggle inside.

>>726079834
kek

>>726078650
Percussing things is fun. The teachers always congratulate me on my perfect technique. Other student don't even bother learning the roght way to do it, almost not needed at all

>>726072502
Niggga you're going to explode your balls

>>726073052
You do realise it's a self cleaning organ right?

>>726078978
>pulling your dick thorough the zipper

Are you 5 or smthg?

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i get ritalin from my doc.mostly 78 tablets a month and i "eat" them in 3 days jerking off all the time.Back in the days i used to sniff tjhem but my nose is fucked up so i do them orally now

>>726079992
>self cleaning organ
>gives people STD's

>>726071348
I do the shirt thing

>>726078654
You mean Psycho?

>>726079992
What? Please explain how the dick cleans itself on the outside. This ought to be good.

>>726071713
Way to go lad!
Respect!

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>>726073048

>>726080041
That's because you can't kill std's with some fairly liquid

>>726080405
That's the point. If it gets onto your foreskin it doesn't matter. You won't get infections etc.

>>726080697
>foreskin

Oh that's right - all the filthy Europeans are on at this hour. I forgot.

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>>726080026
>78 tablets in 3 days
Jesus Christ
But i know that feel, i do the same with adderall, or dexies when i can score them
3 of them things make me horny as fuck, i just chainsmoke and jack off all fucking day
Starts feeling annoying after about 18 hours though

Piss every time I poo. I could have pissed 2 mins before I poo and I will still pee. Does this happen to anyone else?

Sometimes I will get weird feelings of anger and will sometimes go "REEEEEEEEE" really loudly. Obviously not in public or around people. I don't know why.

>>726080870
Oh that's right America's education is still shit. Even if you get it on the shaft it DOES NOT MATTER.

>>726078978
This is the normal way, you fag

>>726080979
That's not the same as being a "self-cleaning organ" you stupid Eurotrash twat.

>>726080016
yes
>>726081060
sorrry I'm 5

>>726079603
Never implied i was uber manly but if licking cum off my hand is peak performance im def lacking and i never implied i expected anyone else to taste my cum or like it and lastly eating pussy and licking up cum are on opposite ends of the spectrum i wasnt judging u for doing it i was pointing out my own disgust with jizz

>>726081146
Literally is. That's why you're advised not to clean your dick so much. It fucks with the chemicals

>>726081208
Its cool

>>726072502
oshiet nigga i definitely do both

>>726071348
im right there with u bud

>>726081332
>That's why you're advised not to clean your dick so much. It fucks with the chemicals

Jesus Christ you're fucking retarded.

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I love shaving
Literally every part of it

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>>726080870
I feel so bad for americans. They have all been mutilated as a child. But the worst part is that they're brainwashed to think it's a good thing.

In fact they think it's such a good idea that they will mutilate their own defenseless babies as well.

FUCKING MONSTERS with no moral!


>Hurr durr, can't bother to shower, so cutting of the dick makes it cleaner

>>726073427
21 same as you man...
It's so hard not to do it when I'm idling about.

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Also always use a soda can as an ash tray whenever possible
Not sure why

>>726081534
No. You're the retard

>>726081789
A lot of people do that

>>726081789

<2017
<Smoking

hmm:(

>>726078628
Forty keks

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>>726081964
Thats the thing, i have plenty of actual ash trays
I just always have to use a soda can whenever i drink one
I don't understand it
>>726082021
Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all
Can't help it, i like what i like, so save it

>>726081943
Good one ;)

>>726072688
I do that more often than I care to admit.

>>726078050
>I usually just lick the cum off my hand so i don't make a mess if i have to go grab a tissue
>Literally tastes like nothing, just slime coming out of your own body.
Same here fam, I feel wrong while doing it but I just can't be bothered to get a tissue or anything

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>>726071348

>ejaculate in my my little trash can(rather than waste tissues)
>cum all over my monitor while a video of a girl's face is playing on it(pretending i am actually cumming on a girl's face)
>masturbate to mostly gooks and japs
>jerk off to pics of dead asian girls after they have been raped and murdered(i think i am the only one that does this)
>jerk off to pics of family members
>i barely speak(basically mute, i go months without saying a word. when i need to speak, i stumble over my words because i forgot grammar, vocabulary, etc.)
>stay in my room on the internet all day
>30 year old virgin(never even held hands or kissed a girl)
>volcel when it comes to white girls tbh(i hate them. not so cute personality and ugly appearance. they have big ass noses and thin faces. after jerking off to nothing but asians, all white women look like fucking trannies to me. gooks and japs are cuter.

>>726072502
I also do this, never had any problem.

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>>726080918
ja im chainsmoking too^^ and yes it start feels annoying after several ours but i take more and more pills then.But youre right,normaly one should quit after 24 ours ,sleep and repeat when the body is rested enough.Thats more fun.But i hate to come down from that and get that craving.So i take them all and after 3 or 4 days im so fucked up i fall asleep instantly.

>>726072688
I only do this when someone is having a shit, because the toilet and the sink are separate rooms for some reason

I put my finger underneath my foreskin and smell it then suck my finger

>>726074255
>>726079965
He jerks off on the jon guys. Not a ninja scramble from the bed to the bathroom

>>726071348
I frequently sob uncontrollably while I drive on the freeway. Tears obscure my vision, so I just squint my way through a game of 2ton russion roulette

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>>726071820
> be me
> live in apartments with HUGE shared hot water boiler
> never run out of hot water
> regularly take 45 min - 1 hour long sit down showers with an ocassional nap included.
> dem feels ...

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>>726082300
You're a goddamn madman, brother
But you seem chill as fuck, and you know what you like, which I can respect
Respect, man

>>726073709
What do you eat? where/how do you refigerate goods?
>???????????????????????

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>>726082613
Not him, but probably just buys microwavables or snack type deals
Thats what I did back when I was living single, since i had a pathological fear of cooking

>>726075312
>to fall asleep, I /must/ lay on my left side, and wrap my entire head in a blanket to muffle sound and block vision
What are ear plugs and a sleeping mask

I still imagine things, for example, like I would pretend that i'm a singer and sing in the shower, or pick up a toy gun and pretend that i'm a soldier and would pretend to shoot at things.

>>726073052
Same here - except I am more concerned about getting something irritating on mah kok ... like salt from my tater chips. Once I got habanero residue on there and it was an unforgettable experience.

>>726075407
>When people look at me on a train or bus, i talk in my mind "i know you can read my mind, look at me again" Sometimes they do and im convinced people can read my mind
I'd do this more often but I'd probably just burst out laughing like a maniac and get thrown off the bus

>>726082887
Same

>>726072877
My sides are in orbit right now.

>>726082865
>habanero on dick
AaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>726076795
How bad of a hand must the world have dealt you to have
>horrible stretch-marks when not even that fat
>fat and no tits
>pepperoni nips
>ugly as fuck
>wrecked looking vagina
>probably endless list of mental issues

>Have long foreskin
>Faps
>Right before I cum, grab tight on the front of foreskin to close dick off
>Cums into the foreskin pocket
>Waddles to the toilet
>Squeeze cum in foreskin into the toilet
>Wipes dick
>Cleanup is fast and easy
>No trace no smell except inside the toilet room

>>726075407
>Fart into my hand and always breath it in
Same, what the fuck is wrong with me

>>726078650
Not sure if this is percussing or not but ever since I can remember I've always had this strange addiction to wanting to touch things, if I see something new I'd have to feel it just to see what it felt like, still do it but not as much because I realise how autistic it is.

>>726082556

> so I just squint my way through a game of 2ton russion roulette

I assume you're an extremely lucky individual.

>>726074290

Yeah. Its like you are bein fukkd in the butt.

But its your own turdildo in there.

>>726079834
lower the lighting on the template

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>>726083065
same

>>726074290
Try buttplugs.
:^)

>>726082239
Well there's someone out there jerking themselves to floor tiles, so don't doubt yourself anon

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Last night i was at a house party drinking and i passed my limit so i ran home. It was dark and in the country. So i ran home but in stealth mode. When cars would drive down the road i would get down in the grass or behind bushes. Then when i got home i noticed i didnt have my keys so i i hopped my own wall, threw my bike over the fence and rode it back to the party.

So tldr version: i sneak at night. Moving stealthily and undetected. I have this urge to try and sneak into someones house or sneak into a buisness. Anyone else?

Foreskin fag here
>Have a medium sized towel as cumrag
>Everytime after I cum, squeeze most cum onto the corner portion, then wipe my sick on other areas
>After cum dries, smell it because it smells nice and sweet

>>726083437
This sounds great, and I might try it
I've hidden somewhere before and pretended to shoot passers by, ever done that?

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Smoking is fucking disgusting. Please kill yourselves faster than you already are.

>>726072688
Cant remember last time i pissed in the toilet at home. The sink is the right place for all that yellow goodness

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>>726084021
Keep crying.

>>726071348
Whenever I masturbate, I masturbate over a pear of boxers or soft shorts.

I've done this since I was 10.

>>726084021
What's so digusting about it?
It's just leaves burning.
If you saw some leaves burning, would you say "That's fucking disgusting"?

Pick little pieces of shit from my asshair

I fantasize about fucking myself while I masturbate.

I wanna fuk me so bad.

>>726084756
Lotion in the basket!

>>726084756
autofellatio?

>>726084940
Can't reach.
I used to lick my own nips though.
Had to quit cause it was hurting my neck.

>>726084021
T R I G G E R E D C U N T

Sometimes I walk around the house naked looking for something to fuck

Never really find anything of much use though

I enjoy pulling out my nose hairs.

Especially the ones that go waaay up in there ... like they are attached to my brain.

>>726085374

DIY Corn Starch Fleshlight

>>726074348
Tanks for the idea

Anybody still in here?

Or is this thread ded?

i enjoy showing my dick for strangers on omegle

got 2 scewdriver in a pockey just in case
and I have toothbrush in my bedroom

>>726072134
I use some boxers

>>726071348
I make a lok of fucking noised when i shit. When the turds hits the prostate, thats cash dude

>>726071348
cum rags are piling on top of each other behind my bed post and a 2 liter coke bottle is now full of my piss

>>726071348
wear the shirt to an orgy

I freeze my own cum

>>726085524
doesnt that give you a yeast infection or some shit

>>726086546

Not that I know of.
Its not made of yeast.

>>726085939
same

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>>726083711
>pretended

sit down in the shower everyday. keked so hard

Sometimes fart in a plastic bottle and open it a few hours later to smell it and have a laugh

Actively try and piss as far as possible.

>Standing infront of toilet/urinal
>begin piss
>take steps back while pissing

Bit awkward when u r running out too fast and you gotta do a weird hobble while keeping your dick aimed and your stream flowing

>>726086620
well not specifically a yeast infection, just something to fuck you over disguised as something useful, kind of like that crystal making thing that actually makes you huff mustard gas or some shit

>>726086935

Ahhh - I miss the Glory Days when I could piss for distance

Now I just set records for elapsed time.

>>726087038

Its just gelled up cornstarch, man.
I think it is mostly impossible to harm you.

Mostly.

>>726075407
Thank you, Anon
I know you probably don't find this funny, but you gave me the best laugh I'e had in a while
god bless

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>>726086710
Clarkson the cunt FTW!

>>726073028
I do that

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>When me and sis are in same room try and get boner in hopes she notices and will fuck me

>Hold in shit for 2 days+ (feelsgoodman)

>Fucking hate eye contact. If I get eye contact I WILL look away. inb4 autism

>Get massive boner when cuddling with cat... beastiality disgusts me

>Love pulling out like strings of hard snot from nose. The longer the better

>When pissing walk backwards to see how far I can get

>Never go to a public toilet. Never

>Suck in my cheeks and move my chin forwards to make my jawline look better in public

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>>726071348
Ride the bus 5-7 days a week
Never comfortable, so resort to moving my neck and back around constantly. Doesn't help, physically. Get weird stares, but used it it at this point.
Also, every time I get money out, I thank the atm, and wink at it.
Grinding teeth, and chewing inside of gum.
Anyone else do these?

>>726071348
animal cruelty pics are gross..FUCK YOU NIGGER

>>726081789
My friends do that, their kitchen table will have 10 or more cans with ash around the top, it's trashy as fuck

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>>726082563

>>726073709
picture

Everytime i pass next to a cute hot grill, and take a deep breath to try to smell her

In public, If I hear something awkward or cringy, I have to cover my ears with my hands and pretend Im scratching them or Im rubbing my hands on the back of my neck.
Pretty sure Im autisitc

>>726084573
The smoke has addled your brain.

It's not the burning that is disgusting, it's the inhaling of the smoke, you dolt

>>726074032
Just me or when you cup it in to your hands kinda smells like burnt rubber

>>726078050
dude cum is gross even girls don't like it, though they might pretend they do

>>726073052
>new meta

I take a shower EVERY time I go to the bathroom, yes i'm serious. And I don't go in public.

>>726091826
Dude good tobacco smoke is amazing and it has a nice flavor