Waifu thread Previous: >>725897209 The rules are very simple:

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I awaken from a terrible nightmare around 8pm, the usual hour in which my slumber comes to a halt, albeit somewhat earlier. I obviously have a productive time ahead of me, being up at this hour. I turn myself over and kiss my Waifu pillow, landing my lips on a spot deprived of my dried-up ejaculate. As per usual, I begin to whine and scream for my mother. I require a nurtrituous meal of Tyson brand frozen chicken nuggets and Mountain Dew, and based on the smell emanating from my size 42 adult diaper, I will also need a change. I use what little energy I have to push my buzz lightyear bedsheets off, and roll myself out of bed, crushing several piss bottles in the process. Luckily, I can kill two birds with one stone by taking my biweekly shower tonight, so I can wash off the piss and also gain 10 big boy points from mommy. I waddle over to the bulletin board, and a smirk begins to form on my face as I realize I have acquired 100 big boy points, enough for a new anime body pillow. I plop 320 pound ass on to my computer chair, causing the shit in my adult diaper to spill out on the basement floor beneath me. I brush the roaches off of my LED lit mechanical keyboard and load up 4chan. As soon as I load up the latest "waitu claiming thread", mother walks down to the basement
Part 1
Fags

>>725906859
>inb4 assblasted trailer boi
dude like just filter shit, like join a better community
kek

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カラミチーマス

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Still here

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>Insulting Dio

kill me

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Claiming best girl

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Has she left you yet, Eyebrow-kun? Or is she still reading your autistic posts?

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>Creative and original shitpost

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>>725907010
She strategically maneuvers herself through the maze of piss bottles and shit jugs until she makes it to my desk. I am her precious son, earning so many big boy points I could be on the NASDAQ. She bows before me and presents tonights meal. It isn't what I was expecting, on the tray sits a great value paper plate, adorned with Tostitos Pizza rolls and a red solo cup of Dr. Pepper. Anger swells within me, causing my face to turn red. I twist my cheeto stained neckbeard hair and ponder what her consequence will be for this disappointment. I decide to drop it, as the meal will suffice. I brush a group of roaches off of my monitor and browse the latest Waifu claiming thread, and remind her to leave her credit card so I can order another body pillow to spray my seed upon. I turn around and see her grabbing my beloved Miku pillow, I become overwhelmed with rage, I stand up from my computer chair and begin to approach her. Suddenly, I trip over 2 liter of Mountain Dew that I filled with piss last year, and my fat, unshowered body crashes into the basement floor beneath me. It seemed to happen in slow motion. I hear the "crunch" roaches crushed under my man boobs. I happened to fall in a particular spot where I keep most of my shit jugs and piss bottles. I am completely soaked in old piss and shit
Pt 2

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>claiming Taiga

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>>725907108
I gaze down upon my body. I am completely naked expect for my adult diaper, the content of which has been emptied onto my thighs and back. My stomach extends forward so much I cannot see my feet, and my man tits so far I can barely see my stomach. I see the layer of shit, piss, and dead roaches as armor, and imagine myself as a hero in one of my favorite animes. I am trying to save my princess, my Miku body pillow mother is trying to capture. I must save her, she is my only instrument to combat my eternal virginity. I charge at mother, and collide with her, sending her crumbling down onto my mattress. She vomits immediately, because she knows she's lying upon millions of her unborn grand children, in the form of my semen absorbed into my buzz lightyear bedsheets. I lay on top of her, burying her face between my shit-covered man breasts. I pull myself away, and laugh as notice some of the dead roaches have stuck to the shit on her face. I reclaim my previous body pillow and kiss her up and down. I then proceed to expose my tiny Phallus and masturbate onto her, as a display of my power should her or my mother rebel against me once more
Pt 3, I'm writing these as I go

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>>725907039
Now now. Where are your manners?

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>>725907039
No.

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>>725907217
Mother retreats upstairs. I squint my eyes and hiss at the sliver of light creeping in from the basement door. I haven't been to the other parts of the house since last Christmas, when mom told me I had to socialize with the family or get my computer taken away. I imagine my house as a video game map, and think the rest of my house as The Unknown Lands. I also like to imagine my room a castle. I haven't been outside since I was 16, which was about 6 years ago. I live in complete darkness, except for my computer screen, which is always displaying the current Waifu claiming thread. Thinking of last Christmas makes me sweat and feel anxious, I never want to leave my castle. I remember walking up the steps. And trying to adjust my eyes to light. Mother made me wear a red Christmas sweater and some sweat pants. I walked into the living room where my normie family members were talking and doing things on their iPhones. I tried to convince them that computers are superior technology and only normies use phones, but they wouldn't listen. My little cousin asked my why I had so many stains on my sweat pants, and I realized these were the ones I masturbated on before mommy bough my first body pillow. I waddled back down to my castle and haven't left since.
Pt 4

>>725907239
please miss zuru

>>725907284
why not

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>>725907285
I despise my family of normies, in fact I hate everyone who isn't part of the Waifu community. The only person free of my hatred is my mother. She's taken care of me for the past 22 years, and supplies me with food and diaper changes. It is now 10 pm, and I'm still soaked in my own shit and piss. Whatever, I've smelled worse than this before. I sit down at me desk, brush some roaches away from my mousepad, and refresh the current Waifu thread. Just as i begin to select my image of Miku to claim, I feel something move between my ankles. I see a big rat crawling beneath me. This will make an exquisite gift for my Waifu body pillow. I grab him by the tail, and suffocate him between my man breasts. I then throw him on to my bed, to appease Miku. I can hear mother yelling upstairs, in between sobs and crying. Probably on her normie iPhone talking to one of her newfag friends about me. All of this excitement makes my bowels loose, so I grab the nearest empty 2 liter of soda, remove my size 42 adult diaper, and like my asshole up with the opening. I squeeze out enough pizza roll liquid shit to fill up 1/4 of the container. I place it next to a pile of dead roaches and look back at my computer screen
Pt 5

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Rea are you around?

>>725907039
If you kill me first

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Consider this: your grandparents and their generation were overseas killing and bombing Japanese people, and now you sit in a dark bedroom masturbating your deformed penis to their cringeworthy cartoons. If they're still alive, I'm sure they do their best to NOT think of the shit stain they've left behind in this world.

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>>725907284
What about me

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>>725907290
Closer. Now make it more proper in grammar and titles.

>>725907044
I already told you, people here aren't always happy, and I want to help lighten the load. I ask psople how their days are, if they need to vent or unload, I'm here to listen. sometimes people just need to not be alone.
I just want people to be okay.

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my penis isn't deformed

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>>725907339
Because you're already dying. Just keep living and at some point it'll happen 100% sure.

>>725907499
No. Read above.

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Out on a Friday night with friends posting in a waifu thread .... Some how that's worse then being home doing this.

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Did Daddys gifts run out? Did his job get given to someone else? Whats made you this angery? I want to know.

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>>725907039

>>725907465
no
>>725907551
how
>>725907638
you could help it happen faster

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>>725907638
You got a point
>Vigne and Raphi handholding
Lewd

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Hey guys. This is Mr. Cothran. I work as a special Ed teacher at my local high school. I've been teaching autistic kids for the last 13 years or so, when I discovered this website. Most of my students were avid fans of anime. After I caught a few of them masturbating to anime characters in the back of the classroom, I had to come up with a plan to keep them calm. I started creating these threads, and sitting them in front of the classroom computers. Soon enough, all of my autistic students became completely obsessed with these threads, and I've had to make them one after another for all these years. I would appreciate if everyone who is not my student wouldn't post here because it has been causing uproar in my classroom with the autistic kids shouting and screaming that their waifus were stolen, some have gone back to masturbating in the corner once again. Please save my classroom from being turned into a zoo again.

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>>725907392
Yes I'm watching 20/20

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>>725907657
Put us away, have fun. Do it, faggot.
We'll be here when you're back to being introverted.
>RAAAWWR

>>725907761
bull is not pleased with gf

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Hey guys. This is Mr. Cothran. I work as a special Ed teacher at my local high school. I've been teaching autistic kids for the last 13 years or so, when I discovered this website. Most of my students were avid fans of anime. After I caught a few of them masturbating to anime characters in the back of the classroom, I had to come up with a plan to keep them calm. I started creating these threads, and sitting them in front of the classroom computers. Soon enough, all of my autistic students became completely obsessed with these threads, and I've had to make them one after another for all these years. I would appreciate if everyone who is not my student wouldn't post here because it has been causing uproar in my classroom with the autistic kids shouting and screaming that their waifus were stolen, some have gone back to masturbating in the corner once again. Please save my classroom from being turned into a zoo again.

PLEASE CAN WE WORK SOMETHING OUT

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>>725907607
Yours is probably the only one that is

Chara's isn't as bad as yours and he wants to be a girl

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>>725907809
There's some pretty lewds scenes with them.

>>725907771
I don't want it to happen faster.

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>>725907824
Wow that show has 39 seasons

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>>725907771
"Please kill me, Shizuru."
I know i don't scold love-chan for calling me miss, but that doesn't mean everybody gets to.

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>>725907832
I'll try. Maybe tomorrow night
Appreciate the motivation

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Hey guys. This is Mr. Cothran. I work as a special Ed teacher at my local high school. I've been teaching autistic kids for the last 13 years or so, when I discovered this website. Most of my students were avid fans of anime. After I caught a few of them masturbating to anime characters in the back of the classroom, I had to come up with a plan to keep them calm. I started creating these threads, and sitting them in front of the classroom computers. Soon enough, all of my autistic students became completely obsessed with these threads, and I've had to make them one after another for all these years. I would appreciate if everyone who is not my student wouldn't post here because it has been causing uproar in my classroom with the autistic kids shouting and screaming that their waifus were stolen, some have gone back to masturbating in the corner once again. Please save my classroom from being turned into a zoo again.

Would anyone be nice enough to negotiate something with me?

>>725907986
Highly Potential coppy pasta

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>>725908111
i think it's really boring but my sister wanted to me watch

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>>725907822
There's always a link to anime and autism anon

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>>725908102
Tbh I need to make myself a folder for Vigne. Reaction image goldmine and she's really qt

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>>725908185
But you can't be out on Friday night with friends tomorrow! Then it's Saturday! Go have fun!

dude weed lmao

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>>725907835
Maybe he should give her the fucc? Or does she not gibe succ or da pucci?

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Hey guys. This is Mr. Cothran. I work as a special Ed teacher at my local high school. I've been teaching autistic kids for the last 13 years or so, when I discovered this website. Most of my students were avid fans of anime. After I caught a few of them masturbating to anime characters in the back of the classroom, I had to come up with a plan to keep them calm. I started creating these threads, and sitting them in front of the classroom computers. Soon enough, all of my autistic students became completely obsessed with these threads, and I've had to make them one after another for all these years. I would appreciate if everyone who is not my student wouldn't post here because it has been causing uproar in my classroom with the autistic kids shouting and screaming that their waifus were stolen, some have gone back to masturbating in the corner once again. Please save my classroom from being turned into a zoo again.

Please

>>725908115
Please kill me, Shizuru.

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>>725908255
But it was written for the purpose of being pasta.

>>725908300
Her voice is cute.
https://p.fuwafuwa.moe/qntxkr.webm

>>725908380
dude hashish lmao

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>>725908276
Yeah it seemed like you were more interested in things that are fictional with some action maybe.

>>725907771
Why not

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>>725907832
>Ps: rawr

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>>725908385
>this post
No wonder you're a sticky virgin discussing animated preteens with other pillow-lovers kek

>>725908522
dude devils lettuce lmao

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>not mad
>not autism

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fuck you sachi

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Claim

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>>725908546

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>>725908524
>It's raining
How's it going?

>>725908385
holes too busted

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>>725908611
I was having a conversation. Wait your turn.

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>>725908480
Very good.
I'll have to decline though. I don't have the means nor the will to go do something like that.
I don't dislike you. You just make me sad.

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>>725908796
It goes. Bit tired and hungry. May drink some more soon.

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>>725908524
I'm sorry for bad grammar I'm a little sleep deprived. And I think 20/20 is pretty fake anyway so it's somewhat enjoyable. I feel a lot of sadness surrounding the core of your soul... What's wrong with you?

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>people with zero sexual experience discussing other people's sex lives
Hahahahahahahahahahahah

>>725908931
why do i make you sad?

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>>725908887
Maybe all those homeless in New York broke her? So she goes back every week to give them what he cant / wont?

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>>725909074
See
>>725909007

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I still have yet to install my HDD.

Do you even procrastinate, bro?

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>>725908963
It's fine. Maybe you should rest soon. Don't want to get into that stuff right now.

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>>725909074
nah, that nigger he's friends with does that

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>>725907824
Hello Rea

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>>725909022
You used to be an enjoyable friend to have around, and i feel one should mourn the loss of something that was important to them.

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>>725907579
No one is always happy. Not even you. From what I've seen you've never really told about yourself much. This is probably the first time and to me it looks like self satisfaction, but there really isn't anything wrong with that. Making others happy makes you happy. It's fine. At least I want to believe that.

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>>725909158
Again. Conversation. You rude spic.

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>>725908522
It's a really nice voice for sure

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Someone offered me beer because a party's on right now.

I remembered why I don't drink.

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>>725909185
I would be if I really had anything to be doing

Aside from all the things I could be doing right now

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>>725908935
>It goes, it goes, it goes, it goes Guillotine!
Jack again? I got the last of my vodka in my cup, and beer is all gone, sadly.
Still a few bottles of unhealthy goodness in fridge and on shelf thought....

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>"I frequently pretend to either be in a relationship with, or pretend to actually be a Japanese cartoon little girl with other grown men on an obsolete website that makes me feel like I'm a part of something"
>the human races' face when

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>>725909212
Maybe the nigger friend went full hoodrat after all. Has all his new boys pass her around like a sack of goon.

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>>725909343
Why don't you drink then?

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>>725909187
Its making me so sad, I want to kill myself, I want to take everyone with me down to Hell and watch them suffer. That's only a fraction of what you're feeling and I feel very sorry for you.

>>725909219
Sup nigger.

>>725909074
she was broken since a kid
step-daddy issues he raped her everyday until her body only lusted for bbc and my daddy's can only buy me bull's clothing not his dick

>>725909266
so i'm dead now?

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>>725909185
>DidYouEvenInstallHDDYet
Go install the HDD, no excuses,

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Sometimes I'm suffering
And other times I'm suffering a little more than usual

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I'm really sorry if I missed anyone's messages! I got caught up reading a manga!

I'm going to bed now, so I thought I'd say goodnight before I go. Take care everyone! <3

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>>725909583
No. I said lost, not dead.

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>>725909601
Roll dubs and I'll consider it

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>>725909519
I'm a nigger now? :(

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>>725909577
Sounds about right.

>>725909688
so i'm lost?

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>>725909740
Dubs, what are those?

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>>725909402
Yeah big bottle. May start in an hour or two. Never drank beer but wine was not good to me at least. >>725909519
I'm sorry you feel that way. You should maybe try to relax and get some rest. I'd give you a nice hug if I could. I'm not too bad just the normal self hate and all that.

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>>725909740
Install your damn HDD already

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>>725909791
In a sense, in my opinion, yes.

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>>725909496
The beer I had (Samuel Adam
IPA) was a sharp bitter and probably rancid taste. I first had beer, Heineken, when I was like three. Me being three, I thought it was some sort of juice so while I was in my dad's lap I drank some.

Never again, I thought. Then came wine which was much more acceptable. Just an extremely potent alcoholic grape.

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>I have an entire folder containing nothing but pictures of prepubescent anime characters that I use to identify myself with other sexually deprived man children on a severely outdated image board"
>your entire peers' faces when

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>>725909813
Who knows?
Not me.

>>725909895
Stay triggered.

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賢狼ホロはまだここにおるのじゃ

正義は夢でした(Justice was a dream)
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0YIaD7tV9EB

>>725909998
>severely outdated image board
Then why bother being here?

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>>725907480
Been there done that. They stated at pin ups in fighting holes. I have koume in PBs faggot.

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>>725909772
I was only trying to be hip.

>>725909879
I don't feel that way naturally, I feel that way because I'm an empath and I can feel your emotion.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jda5In2dxhE

>>725909954
why?

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>>725910143
Oh. I'm not hip either

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>I've convinced myself I'm dating a cartoon character

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>>725910017
You should know me well enough by now.

>>725909960
Is the reason you don't drink supposed to be hidden somewhere in this post?

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>I have an entire folder full of "insulting" images to display my hate towards a place I dislike and a thread I could filter but instead I could shitpost on
>m00t's fw

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NAZBOL GANG; WE HAVE BIG DICKS

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Mommy mommy please buy me and my body pillow tickets to go overseas!!!!

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>>725909960
It's an acquired taste for sure. Most of acquire it sooner or later though.

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>>725910277
I will consider installing my HDD.

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>>725910169
I'd like to think you understand without me having to put nebulous thoughts in to words, but since you seem to enjoy playing coy, i'll endeavour to properly formulate a response. It might take me a minute though.

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>>725910310
I hate the taste.

>>725910377
I think so too, but I don't want to bet on it. I'd rather have tea or wine and chocolate cake.

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>>725910424
Thats all I ask.

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Daddy daddy please give me a job and a car and a house too and a gf with a bull to keep happy while she picks clothes for me!!!

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>>725910143
I don't feel like the world should end. I don't mean for this to sound bad but you got some weird things about you Rea.

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>>725909879
>hour or two
I might just have managed to knock myself out by then, I hope.
Knowing myself, I'll be here still.... rip

>>725910424
Amazon prime sure paying off with that instant delivery!
Shiie~

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My dog gets more pussy than you weebs during an afternoon walk fuckinh the neighbors French poodle than you fags will ever get in your lives

>>725910635
Ironically there's a guy who posts here that gets more dog pussy than your dog

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>>725910559
Mommy mommy please increase the amount of big boy bucks I get for brushing my teeth! I'm saving up for a new body pillow!

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>>725910230
That's usual for someone your age. Anyway goodnight.

>>725910567
You're so mean </3 Goodnight~
>canyoubelieveIhavetowashamountainofdishesbyhandbeforebed?ughfml

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>>725910616
You fucking know it.

>>725910712
top kek
normie just keep getting btfo

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>>725906859
As always: mine.

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>>725910789
Good night Rea. Say hello to Mokarin for me

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVcH6vUvKvA

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>>725910616
It's fine if you're out. I will just be drinking. >>725910789
I'm sorry I don't mean to be well mean. I hope it is easy for you and you get a dishwasher or something. Goodnight ily.

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>>725910804
>>725910712
Nah, there's not. I've called him out on his bullshit so many times, I wish I had the screenshot where I broke him down and he admitted he's just an edgy fag that makes shit up, oh well

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daddy daddy please increase my salary I need my bull on the weekends to shit post places I hate!!!

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Can I get a (You) guys? I'm pretty lonely over here tonight.

>>725910999
get drunk

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Zionists BTFO!

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>>725910984
Mommy mommy please buy me the katana off amazon!! My body pillow won't fuck me unless I have one :(

:o me sachi

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>>725910495
I got used to the taste of spirit and liquor before beer. Think you will too, sooner or later.

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>>725910972
Yeah, nobody will believe that

Much in the same way you will never believe the people posting here are all different, and not all an extreme stereotype

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>>725911224
:o

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>>725910999
Hi Misaki. Something happen?

>>725910999
I can give you all the (you)s you need as long as you pour yourself a drink and join us

>>725911227
Maybe.

>rem

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I'm not gone faggots

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daddy daddy why you had to tell the boys I was your boi? now they won't take me trucking in the fields

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>>725911285
The difference is, I actually don't care, whereas y'all do. My evidence? The amount of (you)s i rack up in one single thread. Kek

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QOTT:
How many beers/drinks you've had tonight?

10 4,6% 33cl beers so far.

>>725910712
kek'd and verified

>(you)s
>evidence
Holy shit new level of retarded

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>>725911290
~

>>725911505
You care enough to keep posting

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>>725910169
Essentially, the person you once were doesn't seem to be showing itself. It's apparently lost and obscured behind whatever it is you wish to call your current state of interpersonal interactions.

It's exceedingly rare that you respond to people with more than a few words, much less more than a sentence. I don't care who you are, it's not possible to project a good personality with so few words.

Then to top it off, the few interactions that you do seem to have with people are just repeats and rehashes of ones you've already had with that person. Hell, even this conversation i'm fairly sure we've had in one form or another.

It's just very hard to enjoy a person's company when the other person is refusing to play the social game. If you don't partake in, and follow the rules of the social game, you're not going to get invited to play later. That's just how humans are. Hell, not even humans; most animals follow that simple of a premise.

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>>725911487
>when you get so frustrated your insults are trash
Kek get mommy to bring down a Capri Sun to the basement maybe it'll calm you down

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>>725911472
Post a lewd. >>725911545
0 it's only seven.

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NAZBOLISM IS INEVITABLE!

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>when you insult only with OC fresh from the oven never reworded or copy pasted

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>>725910955
It's just me and my bottle of vodka, you're not drinking completely alone as long as you are here, I guess...

>>725910999
Evening Misaki

>>725911545
4.5 x 50cl 4.6%
Some random liquor too