Hey Anons I got kicked out of my house I don't know what

Die.

>>725625074
Since you've already fucked yourself I suggest you practice enlarging your asshole for the porn you're gonna have to do to support yourself.

Get yourself a free dildo for cuck's month and start
practicing: sexyliberation.org

I have like a few fruit pies, a lunchables, and $40 that's all I was able to grab

>>725625074
why did you even get keked out?

dandelion is fresh and full of nutrients now, you can eat it, the roots are especially good

>>725625074
Is it warm enough to sleep outdoors?

Hit up Craigslist M4M and look for a sugar daddy. Gonna be getting plowed for a room and meals boi.

Couch surf, hit up your friends, grab an application from literally every business you walk into from this moment until you land a job, keep doing that once you have a job until you have a better job.

You need one week of clothes in your bag: 3 pants, 5 shirts, 5 boxers, 10 pair socks. Socks are in high demand on the streets and you can trade pairs for essentials. Don't neglect your teeth. Learn to like eating chili out of a can, get spoons from condiment stations.

sauce: 6 months homeless when I was 23.

>>725625074
You could always go to the nearest fire station or police department. they'll help you

I >>725625290
I told my dad I didn't want to be abused anymore. And I also stole $100 from the family jar

>>725625074
First, why did you get kicked out? Do you have a job? Are you underage?

>>725625074
Sell your body to dirty old men

>>725625445
I'll hang around for a bit to answer more questions for you.

>>725625436
I am at Wendy's atm thinking of spending $12 to make it to Chicago. I want to get as far away as possible

>>725625451
Yeah dude you need to go to the police, or at least the fire department. The firefighters might call a cop to come pick you up actually. if there is abuse involved it is immediately a police issue.

How old are you OP?

>>725625445
What's couchsurfing? How can I get in contact with someone to do this

>>725625620
27

>>725625074
Develop a taste for dick?

I need a way I can make money. Do homeless shelters give out money?

>>725625622
Couch surfing is just crashing on a nice persons couch for a night or two. Make sure you don't overstay and go out of your way to not impact their life negatively. Clean up yourself and area you're in. Be bathed and clean.

There's a social networking site for it couchsurfing.com I think, it's all about being helpful and nice, most don't expect money from what I understand.

>>725625794
Wow that is awesome. I need to find a Mcdonald's with wifi and then I will sign up.

Any other advice for food?

I haven't showed in a week

Like seriously not memeing here, are you mildly autistic OP? Do you have any income or a job? There might be programs if you're autistic and can't work (well)

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>>725625074
Charge at least $25 for a blow and $50 for a fuck.

Give rimjobs instead. They easier and just as pleasing, trust me.

>>725625928
Anything canned. Avoid fast food - dollar menus are deceptive when you're broke. Have any friends you can ask to use their shower today? Did you manage to grab any clothes?

>>725625988
I haven't been able to hold a job for more than a year
I don't get along with coworkers who are aggressive
I got fired from three different restaurants so I stopped looking
I have never gotten tested for Autism because my parents don't believe I have it

>>725625928
Give up blowjobs behind that McDonalds. You'll be at the McDonalds and advertise for free on CL. $20 is $20. Bonus.. you'll get some protein shots to tie you over.

>>725625074
suicide

$3 gets you a 12 pack of Ramen at Walmart.

>>725625451
why'd you steal 100 bucks? Are you an addict? If you get really cold you can go to a hospital and tell them you're gonna off yourself. They can't kick you out

>>725625445
how can I get good at giving bjs?

>>725626365
Can I cook it at walmart?

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>>725625074
Dumpster dive behind pharmacies. You will score food, makeup, and adult diapers.
Sauce: currently earn 96k/year and own my own home in the burbs.

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>>725626212
Jesus OP, you sound exactly like me. I'm autistic as fuck and the words you just put to screen are almost verbatim words that I had said before I got tested.

>How autistic you ask?
Pretty damn.

>>725626238

>Give up blowjobs behind that McDonalds.

>>725626464
Of course. But only in the automotive department.

>>725625074
>I got kicked out of my house >What do you recommend?

Stay out.

If you're covered under ACA you could check into an inpatient rehab to buy some time.

>>725626435

you are asking the right questions,annon.

which country are you from?
which country are u from?

where u frooom??
where u from??
where u froom??

>>725626691
Where are rehab places
Someone said couchsurfing but I don't think I have the social skills to approach a stranger

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>>725625074
Do not forget... when you feel they about to cum, pull off and say you will swallow for an extra $10.

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>>725626435
Ask your mother.

Play the bongos on a street corner and pretend you're blind.

It seems none of you faggots know how to survive on the streets
>number one rule is don't be a fucking sponge and look after yourself.
>keep your fucking dignity and don't beg or busk.
>two choices for living forest or town.
>if forest then spend a day building a decent camp, shelter, toilet and fire.
>if town find a nice sheltered warm spot preferrably on camera so if anything happens to you it will be recorded , say if a group of people attacked you or something.
>Don't steal or involve yourself in any criminal behaviour, if you get high do it where no one will see you doing it or when your chilled, people should only see you sober.
>while being homeless don't sit about doing fuck all, you should be actively looking for work cash in hand or on the books aswell as housing.

try to land a job at a hotel.. its hard work,admitedly,but u get god tips and additionaly u'll be able to get some connections/friendships, there.use those friends after u get fired. *showers,left overs,free blowjobs. the sky is the limit, son.

>>725626817
Google bro, I don't know where you live.

Google
[Your City] Inpatient Rehab ACA/Medicaid/Medicare accepted

>>725626464
nope

>>725626846
i aksed.she said i need to ask >Anonymous 03/15/17 (Wed) 19:40:12 No. 725626846).U mean that faggster on 4chain?
that's exactly what I mean Layla

OP trust me you don't want to go to Chicago unless you like nigs.

>>725627058
im in chevlakistan

>>725627235

i luv nig nogs.u intolerant mysoginist agnostic arsehocolic cancerous tumorous faggosovarous.

>>725625074
>>725625451
R u female?

>>725627044
How long do you think it would be to get a hotel job?

It took me over a month to get any of my restaurant jobs

>>725625074
burn it to the ground. nobody fucks with you

>>725625539
Where you from? Costs me 6 bucks to get to Chicago right now. There's quite a few warm spots there and some cheap shitty heroin

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Become a professional faggot.

You're already halfway there.

>>725627380

try every hotel and apply for a waiter job..make sure u are bathed and groomed and smiling.

lie a lot about how u loved workign in your uncle's hotel in the summers. You've worked there your entire life....

work with the rest.

>>725627380
How about the cheapest ones. Which 5 star hotel would even look at someone with no home? Not to mention qualification. Just go to some red light district motel dump and work as house cleaning. Don't tell me that the Mexican lady and the Paki is better than u

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>>725627249
>im in chevlakistan
Shack up with a an American Tourist... be the best piece of ass they ever had and you should be set for good time

>>725627577
I am shy but I am very good at cleaning
I don't know where my nearest "red light district" is though
I live in rural nowhere

>>725626691
If youre in Chicago I mean there's Haymarket which is infested with niggers who are homeless, gateway, uhh shit idk any others in the city. Over by Downers Grove there's Woodridge abraxas which is 3 months and sucks dick

>>725627757
I am not gay

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Become a pissbucket boy. You get to work important and socially relevant functions like Wimbledon, the Presidential Inauguration, Kentuck Derby, and any other event where you can show your true value to society by toting around the golden nectar of superior people. All you need is an empty chlorine bucket and a dead stare.

>>725625074
Buy some seeds from home depot

Then create a nice hutch for yourself from nature. Live off the grid m8. But keep your shit charged just in case.

>>725627728
That's good. As u r still looking young enough go to the local church and ask for shelter and food, but u know u have to offer a bit of help when they need u like helping out moving stuff, handing out the Bible or sometimes giving birth to the priest.

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>>725625074
Sell matches, and don't come back until they're all sold!

Then crawl into a doorway and light matches until you freeze to death, you mincing beta faggot.

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>>725628392
> or sometimes giving birth to the priest.

>>725626423
I wanted it so that I could buy Sonic Boom F&I
because they broke my last game when they got
angry I was about to call the police on them

>>725628566
Stupid auto correct

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>>725628506
Kek

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>>725628667
Well which word did you fuck up? you retard.

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>>725627757
He can always go to the viaducts under wilson/lawrence/foster and hook up with someone with a tent.

Granted, people steal their shit all the time and a couple times someone threw lighter fluid all over a tent and set it on fire at 3 a.m., but you can't expect the neighbors not to have their fun for the inconvenience.

>>725627902
You may as well be, you're homless now. Which means you're a bum. Which means you're subhuman. Just like all fags.

>>725628818
"Birds" u unfaithful prick

along

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Do signs actually work for homeless people?

>>725629374
I never read them. They're all the same. "Fell on hard times. Need food. Won't spend it on booze. God bless"

Because god really cares about them enough to give them a place to stay and sleep the shakes off, so their blessing means oodles.

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>>725629374
Targets... drive by with water balloons

>>725629734
Fuck that, they drive down property value. They should be beaten until they learn to fuck off to out of the way locations where people don't have to see or smell them.

Too many fucking homeless niggers in chicago. That kids gonna get stabbed by a meth head within a week.

Ain't there no fucking homeless shelters? You can cook there. You can live there. You can become a weed peddler, easy job , trust me.

>>725625074
Go on /b/ and plan your future! Seems like you already have it figured out. You should be good as gold.

>>725629374
They only work if the people are dumb cucks or liberals

>>725630184
There are, but they're all full. Full of thieving murdering niggers.

Something tells me after his first night or two he's going to have a reconciliation with his parents and taking the garbage out won't seem like such a chore.

>>725629008
Why the fuck would you be giving birds to the priest? You fucking westboro baptist church going motherfucker.

>>725625074
why where you kicked out anon?

>>725625074
If you're willing to let me fuck you I can provide you home, bed, food just send me a message Gmark@torpm and post a pic with time stamp