New thread, servers back up Get my dick wet /b/ Messaging

>>725412756
Holy shit, my dad just hit my little sister and he has a knife.

please call 911

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>>725413236
I'll let you know if she replies, suggestions for other matches?

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Suggestion from previous thread

Do u laik meme? I likke meme.

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>>725413583
Nice and autistic

Sometimes I like to smear humus round the ring of my anus and get my dog to lick it off, that dog could be you

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>>725413820
Kek

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Don't let me down anons

>>725414111
Nice trips

>>725414304
Give me an opener here anon

>>725414111
succ me

did you know the jews did

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>>725414484

>>725414467
My penis is so large it has crushed the cervix of every girl it has entered, probably because all the girls I've fucked are yet to reach 10 years old

What are your thoughts on erotic asphyxiation?

Hey.. uhh.. *blushes* do you wanna maybe uhmm.. *giggles nervously* catch a movie or something?

>>725414111
send "you me boom boom" to the allanah girl

What's the difference between Jelly and Jam?
I can't jelly my cock down your throat

>>725414695
bump

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>>725414669
Nice 69

You suckyy suckky
Boom boom
Me cocky cocky
Boom boom
Me kummm kummm
Boom boom
Chakalakalakalakalaka in you
You get pregnant
You get my baby
My baby comes out
Me tell Baby
" Hey Baby
You better become a doctor
Baby become doctor"
Hey Baby
Boom boom
Hey Baby
Boom boom
Hey Baby

You suckyy suckky
Boom boom
Me cocky cocky
Boom boom
Me kummm kummm
Boom boom
Chakalakalakalakalaka in you
You get pregnant
You get my baby
My baby comes out
Me tell Baby
" Hey Baby
You better become a doctor
Baby become doctor"
Hey Baby
Hey Baby
Boom boom
Hey Baby
Boom boom
Hey Baby
You suckyy suckky
Boom boom
Me cocky cocky
Boom boom
Me kummm kummm
Boom boom
Chakalakalakalakalaka in you

I'm a Marine veteran

>>725414913
Roll

>>725414913
This!!!

Get my dick wet?

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>>725414811
For the dubs

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>>725414913
Hahaha

>>725412756
Getthelube.com

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>>725414706
As you wish

If i had a rooster and you had a donkey, and your donkey attacked my rooster and ate his legs, what would we have?
Two feet of my cock in your ass

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>>725414741

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>>725414111
This faggot is Irish

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>>725415407
Her profile is great, lads. Could be a keeper

>>725415430
Northern Irish

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I AM FRODO SAGBAG!
I AM FRODO SAGBAG!
I AM FRODO SAGBAG!

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>>725415483
Only a dirty black Protestant would point out the difference

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>>725415341
Best one yet, anon

>>725415482
The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria, I'll do you in the bottom while you're drinking sangria

>>725415483
Correct,close to the border though

>>725415578
You filthy fenian

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Response from last night, what next anons?

>>725415826
Taigs out

>>725415574
thذs

I want you to hang my castrated balls on your bedroom wall.

>>725415856
You didn't say "no."
Lets hang

>>725412756
Did that big tittied backache girl from last night ever deliver? Shit 404ed on me.

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>>725416156
A1

>>725415856
For your sexual gratification

>>725416156
bump

>>725412756
last night I stayed until 1 am for you fucking thread. Almost got late for work. You better get something this time?!

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>>725416113
This one's pretty hot

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>>725415826
>>725415997
>>725416059

Protestantism isn't even a real religion fucktoads.
It was invented to allow Henry VI to fuck more bitches. You're all descendants of whores in that case

Revenant > allowed to marry whores

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>>725416284
>>725416219
Thread fucking died, nah she didn't, will i message her again?

>>725416434
Wasn't your religion the biggest paedophile ring of all time? Fucking taig

>>725416500
Yes. This shit is fantastic. Living vicariously on account of I'm married and my wife is somehow not amused by trolling tinder.

"So jugs, you gonna show me those big fat udders or not?"

>>725416251
>>725416254

>>725416500
Fuck yes you do.
Rolling for:
>Show me some sweet titties and I show you what I'll do in the name of Ner'zhul!!!

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>>725416715
Ah man, at least you've got pussy on lock
I just fuck my hand

>>725416855
FUCKING DUBS m8

>>725416855
Already replied, sorry man

>>725416659
No

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What next boys? I think there might be a slight delay between when I'm hitting send on my posts and when you're seeing them, sorry about that

>>725417021
Go back to making car bombs and taking religious advice from child rapists, potato

>>725417143
Come to my deck immediately, we'll bang..ok?

>>725416930
Joke's on me - have a toddler too. 1x per week womp womp

Ay b0ss

>>725417275
roll

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>>725417275
I'm still taking suggestions for openers with other matches

>>725417143
I want you to snort coke off my dick. (+ dick pic)

>>725417574
Rollerino

>>725417574
R

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>>725417501
I have cancer

You, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?

>>725417674
Ahahahahah geeeeeet iiiittt

>>725417674
Start one -> you're alright looking, are you into being strangled?

>>725417487
Well that fucking sucks
Ship the little bastard off to the grandparents now and then?

Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside of you

>>725417794
This is my actual pickup line

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>>725417574
Had already replied to message, can't send pics on tinder but i like the idea

>>72541767
At wanna sum fukk?

You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!

>>725417923
Cause it fucking works right?

>>725417840
You gotta send this nigga

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>>725417718
Almost pasted in the link to your comment by accident

>>725418093
You're fucking lame, stop samefagging

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>>725417794

Tits or I report u!

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>>725417840
Kek

>>725418165
Stfu cunt

>>725418218
GIMME THE PUS PUS BOASSS

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Response?

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Response? This girl is fucking stupid, you can just tell

>>725418420
yeah, I am a booty pirate!!

>>725418420
Just reply '*Dick'

>>725418374
This is a tricky situation. Can't show desperation, get her emotionally involved

>>725418296
cute kiddo,did I touch your nerve

>And idiot/loser is somebody who never admits they're wrong

>>725418420
Well, with a name like Chloe. Of course.

>>725418420
To ur deck? What that even mean?

>>725418374
Or would Diet Coke be preferable?

>>725418550
Mass effect nigga

holy shit its leafy

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>>725418500
Nice dubs

>>725418420
Bigger pic of her?

>>725418374
You wanna see what I'll be smashing your ass with

>>725418597
Noooooooooooooo

>>725418500
This

>>725418713
Hahah class

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>>725418597
I like it

>>725418827
argh the cringe

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>>725418914
That's not cringe.. this is cringe

Response?

>>725419186
rape roleplay and chill

What do I have to do to be your booty call?

>>725419186
Do you like spooky movies and hardcore sex?

>>725419296
lol

>>725419296
roll

>>725419385
*and play-rape

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>>725419385
Got eem

>>725419186
M'lady *tips fedora*

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>>725419332

>>725419186
Girls like that suck mad dick, also send this:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo.

Ok let's cut the crap. Wanna fuck or not?

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>>725419463
Cucked. Response?

>>725412756
From my point of view the Jedi are evil!

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Sweet lord Jesus the fucking cringe of this girl

>>725419803
We can change to romantic comedies instead?

>>725419803
Do you like kinda spooky movies and kinda of hardcore sex?

>>725419866
Having Coke Zero won't save you from the calories in my semen

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>>725419827

Das Oberkommando des König von Deutschland gibt bekannt:

Wer um 0300 UTC nicht In meiner Stube mit meinem Gemächt im Munde angetroffen wird, hat dies unter Aufsicht an einem dafür gekennzeichneten Platz nachzuholen!

Heil dem König!


send dis

>>725419981
rollin for this

>>725419866
fine. Mine or yours?

>>725419803
How bout snuff and bukkake

>>725419866
So no coke just dick?

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>>725419937

>>725419866
>>725419803
Dude you're cringe you don't get chicks

Here drop this thread and learn how chicks really think/how they be:
>>>/sci/8745322

>>725420021
rolling whatever this means

>>725420113
That's the fun in it you autist

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>>725420021
This better not be Nazi propaganda

>>725420229
I don't speak German but I'm 99% sure that's Nazi propaganda

>>725420113
Kill yourself if you think i actually believe /b/ is a good way to get pussy. Also major autist alert "how chicks really think" Jesus Christ you are a fucking weird sociopath

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>>725420229
It's not. It basically says, if somebody isn't in his room, sucking your dick until 0300 UTC, the person has to catch up on that on a designated place

>>725420229
Its Nazi.

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>>725420041

>>725420229
so fuckin propaganda.

Roleplay? I'll pick the roles:
I am Drath'Nor, the Anus-destroyer and you're a simple stable boy
It's late at night and the cold wind whips through the stables, gently rustling the dry hay.
I approach, my swinging 50cm phallus covered in the blood of a thousand innocent ani.

_____________________________
wait for her to write smth like WTF at this point.
_____________________________

... screamed the stable boy.
But his girly screams make my throbbing cock double in length.

>>725420229
Geiler Scheiß kek

>>725420591
Rollerino

>>725420591
rolling

>>725420591
reroll this

I'm nearly erect from reading this

>>725420591
This.

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>>725420591
Fucking kek, hope she responds, this is gold

>>725420591
i fucking remember this

roll

>>725420858
Fucking kek

>>725420858
Hitler slowly inserted his penis is Anne's anus. She felt as it went inside her and realized how much bigger it was than the pencils she used to stuff there.

"Oh, ja, babe, that's a real german instrument at work here! Do you feel my german warmachine? Do you feel how it moves?" Hitler inquired.

"Oh, yes, fuck the jews, this penis is the one true god!" Anne responded with her eyes closed as Hitler's penis thrusted in and out of her young, pretty ass.


Maybe some Hitler/Anne Frank fanfiction to lighten up the j̶e̶w̶s Mood

>>725420858
Is she responds like a bitch ask her why she put a prettier girl then her next to her in her profile pic

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Your move, lads

>>725412756
this thread is autistic as fuck
anyway if i get a good roll say:
"Please don't call the police again. Please don't. THE OTHER GIRL WAS LYING"

>>725421065
Keksimus Maximus

>>725412756
Do you want join my cult? Its a pretty cool cult, we meet every Thursday and get coffee and donuts.Blood sacrifices are every other Saturday.

Just send multiple pictures of your face, or the same pic of your face multiple times

>>725421066
She actually did too, i had a look. She's fucking brutal, her friend reels in those swipes

>>725421065
ROLLING IN THE DEEP

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>>725421138

>>725421100
what's your snap?

So I always thought grave robbing might be a pretty cool first date. You up for that?

>>725421478
rollerino

>>725421065
roll

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>>725421478

>>725421411
Not posting my username in here lol, dont want to see a ream of cocks

want to have a make out? i'm a really good kisser after practicing with mom

>>725421821
If not I'll be robbing your anal virginity regardless

>>725421889
Just get hers and share it with us. No need to show yours

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Well boys? What now

>>725422008
I got a pretty big cock, you think you can handle that much coke?

>>725422001
Can't be doing that, don't want her to see this thread

>>725422008
give her your address

>>725422008
So you want my Coke down your throat?

>>725422132
This

>>725422132
Sure why not

>>725422008
Get number. Meet. Fuck.

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>>725421897
Sent it to a hipster fuck

>>725412756
Can we get that keyboard background my dude?

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>>725422415
Dont break your cock wanking

>>725412756
i don't do girls unless they're into roblox roleplay

Do you have more matches you need us to help you talk to?

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>>725422184

>>725422306
Don't actually really want to fuck any of these girls that much, just fucking about. Suppose i could for maximum bantz

I'm 5'1....... Ever had a dude go up on you?

>>725422623
I'm slowly running out but yeah fresh suggestions are still good man

>>725422796
Roll

You will fit in my trunk perrrrfffectly

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>>725422796

>>725422922
You, my son, are plainly retarded

>>725423054
hahahaha droppped it 2 more inches

Rape roleplay and chill ? (Come on mate)

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>>725422981
Lol, this girls actually cute, my type. Oh well

>>725421065
Roll that shit

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Jesus christ, I'm really average looking in my opinion, wtf like

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>>725423054
Charge your phone

>>725423422
Get her snapchat and get some nudes

>>725423422
Lets meet up. Right Meow.

Hi there. Have you ever tried pegging and sounding with a guy? I'd love for you to give it a shot with me.

>>725422823
Hi I'm super rich.

>>725423544
Roll>>725423623

I wanna rape you, but gently

wanna slit wrists and listen to MCR? RAWR xD

>>725423540
Roll

>>725423643
Roll

my mom wants to watch. that cool?

>>725423422
I like a girl with a open mouth and big boobs. Watch your bra size?

>>725423623
This

I'm not like anyone else on this app... I'm only looking to lick feet and suck your tampons... you chill with that? I'll pay you?

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>>725423992
I'll do some form of follow up if i fuck her

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>>725423895

>>725423540
I'll see about this

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>>725423643

>>725424217
Anon get that puss.

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Cute girl responded in the best way possible, i don't even know if i want to include her in this anymore but if any top keks present themselves, i wont ignore them

>>725424624
Send her a picture of that steve harvey keyboard background

>>725424624
Are you a chooma because I want to smash you from behind ;)

(Big lez show reference)

>>725424624
m8 hit that shit, ignore the dumbfucks on here

I'm gonna go to bed OP.
Gonna read from my phone but I can't post.
>You better not be a fag and deliver

>>725424624
You found your girl anon

>>725424686
This.

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Is Normiebook a requirement for Tinder?

>>725424624
IMO tell her the truth that you were trying to send random shit to people for the lulz and accidentally found a girl you like the look of. If she thinks it's funny you might be in.

>>725425211
Yes

>>725425478
Can i get some proof ;)

OP here, no more on cute girl, shes very fucking much my type, holy fuck

Still messaging these other ones

>>725425478
So what's your snapchat. ARe you gonna show me them puppies?

>>725425649
This

>>725425607
This.

>>725425478
Bro you should probably hit that shit

>>725425478
just give her your address faggot

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>>725425766
Dubs have spoken

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>>725425649
Hahhahha

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Cute girl full pic
Rates?

>>725425798
>>725425807
Idek if i want to fuck her, if she's this easy for me (i would say I'm at best a 6/10 lad) how many dicks has she been thru?

>>725426000
Check'd
"I like to rub my balls against various objects"

>>725426209
Cute. Not my type but finding a chick who's your type is clutch (this is the marriedfag from earlier)

>>725425872
Yet he picks the other ;(

>>725426209
Btw, she's actually 18, same as me. What age are you, anons?

>>725426359
Lots, most likely. Bag it and tag it.

>>725426209

7/10

>>725426455
34 lol

>>725426455
25 dude in bed

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>>725426455
20

>>725425478


"uhhhhh... ummmmm... this has never worked before..."

>>725426719
This
I've never even done this before. I never message matches unless they really interest me and i certainly don't do that slutty shit

>>725426000
The day when /b/ got Anon laid.

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She's referring to tinder social. We didn't have an orgy

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>>725426209
My autism kicked in and i don't even have autism fuck anons she's going for it

>>725426719
good ol eric andre meme

>>725426918
Decent/10

>>725427135
SHE WANTS THE D, ANON!
>give her The D
https://youtu.be/qR7U1HIhxfA

>>725427135

She's beatiful and autistic. Marry her.

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Op here, add me on Kik, can make a group if you want lads (not my real name btw)

>>725427752
Added

>>725427752
Go ahead and drop the code

>>725427435
>>725427702
Ahhhh my dicks gonna fall off anons

>>725428012
How you gonna fuck her if your dick falls off?
Your dick better not fall off OP.

>>725428182
He's not going to fuck her. He's going to make sweet love.

>>725428295
This :)<3

anything, op?

someone make a cum tribute to ops new gf