What a fucking night /b/. >be me 18 >parents are letting

BUMP BOIS

>>725365713
More

>>725365713

BUMP

>>725365713
Hell yes.

Bump
Bump
Fucking BUMP!

I smell cuck incumming

>>725365713
go on buckeroo

>inb4 cuck

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B.U.M.P

Anon can you let whale girl watch us fuck?

Hurry up and get on with your autistic story that never happened

here comes another degenerate cuck

>parents are letting me go on a road trip
>gf's mom tells her to come with us
>killmepls.png

wat? you can go on a trip with your friends and gf. whats wrong with that.

>>725365713
>leave to go to bathroom
>come back and gf is being dp'd by two "buddies"
>I'm OK with this because I'm OP and therefore a fag

>>725366419
exactly this

>18
>needs to declare that there's parental consent and alcohol involved on the road trip

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Hurry up OP!

>How can I play chess and get drunk with my fag friends if there's a grill around?
>Tell her to leave
>My homies go with her cause they wanna do something other than drunk chess for springbreak
>Cry at the hotel room for a week straight
>can't afford the bill, get set to work as a cleaning lady
>start my transition to better fill my role
>grow my hair and mosquito moobs
>then suddenly one day get picked up by an arab oil sheik

>>725366593
maybe he ment her fat cousin had to go too?

>>725366593
Let me tell you something, young man. This is a rare occasion for me to hang out with my boys. That and my relationship is unstable, but that's another story.

>put on music having an alright time
>"Hey femanon, give me a refill" says my friend
>Michelin Woman eyes my friend intently, giving a doubleshot with coke
>tease friend about getting laid
>everyone, except Gf and I, are 2 shots in
>pours herself to 6oz straight booze
>everyone, although only half-buzzed, just tease her about being greedy
>starts bellowing laughter as she takes another 6 ounces
>there's maybe 5 ounces left in the bottle
>friends are quiet, I make joke about her being more experienced at this to lighten the mood
>Jabba the Hutt finishes off the 5th with the spirit of a Rancor
>everyone is silently judging

Now, I know that b has some sjw fucks, but is it sexist to say women are lightweights? I thought so until today

>5 minutes later, Buffalo is bellowing like a viking horn
>stumbling around
>friends are generally concerned
>I pull the short straw and I have to escort her to her room
>take 350 pound landwhale by the arm and escort her out the door
>"I like it rough anon but not this rough"
>yeah yeah, whatever, stand on thus fence while I get my shoes
>midway through that sentence I hear my girlfriend crying.
>decide it's whatever, grab my shoes, and start heading out the door
>feel strong push from behind
>"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, WHY DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH MY COUSIN!? "
>I hit the fence hard
>girlfriend decides to finish the job
>by some amazing features of strength, she lifts me by my jeans and throws me over the fence
>slam hard on the hood of my car
>last thing I remember I heard the fat bitch laughing

Cont

>>725367547
>midway through that sentence I hear my girlfriend crying

but why tho

>>725367547
Keep the story going

>>725367547
What the fuck is this shit

>>725367891
/b/

>>725367640
Turns out girlfriend is both bipolar high and also bipolar drunk. I'll explain in this greentext

>black out only for a bit
>I didn't feel half-bad
>huge dent in car
>best friends decide to escort landwhale and my girlfriend to their rooms instead of helping me
>lay on the concrete for a bit
>it's cold, yet comforting.
>get up to some crazy Mexican, demanding that I pay him to fix my hood
>tell him to kindly fuck off
>stumble to my girlfriend's room
>door is open
>landwhale is fully naked, sitting 69 with that friend
>friend in obvious struggle
>other friend is frozen in shock
>Gf is nowhere to be found

Cont later Gf is trying to cuddle me right now

>>725368132
fuck you and fuck this shitty story. this barely makes sence.

>>725368132
You're an asshole for perpetrating this shitty thread on unsuspecting anons.

i bet this is what happens next

>Long story short, the whale lied about you fucking someone
>You had a shitty day by trying to comfort your too trusting gf of an idiot
>Made up and now cuddling

>>725368132
>Get drunk
>Get fucked
>Watch whale get fucked
>Gf is sorry
>Whale eats friend
>Whale dies cause no water
>Gf is mad cause you forgot the tank
>Gf falls and dies
>Something wrong I hold my head, Gf gone, a nigga dead
>Op is in a room with 3 corpses cuddling with dead Gf cause his shit greentexts drove him crazy ;(

>>725368306
sense*

>>725368771
this is more entertaining than OP's faggoty story

>>725368771
>>725368931
Agreed, I kek'd

>>725368931
Agreed

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>>725368931

>>725368132
Fag excuse for a gay lord of an OP with a shitty story.

OP is biggest fag in history of /b/
Don't just tickle my cock of you're going to get me going grab the thing cup my balls and finish me off.

>>725368132
>cont later GF is trying to cuddle me right now

wooowww spoilers...

Fml my add...
I want to hear the end,
But somehow i dont give enough of a fuck to wait for op to cuddle with gf..

>>725369601
same

Fuck everyone talking shit about Op's story. If you don't like it fuck off.

>>725370706
Ok OP, your story is still awful though

how is that an awful night? you spent some nice fucking time drinking with your friends and gf and a fat drunk whale. what is your problem OP?

>>725371888
checked. His problem is he's with a crazy and a beta

>>725367139
Kek

>>725372635
Who's bumping this? Op was dead for hours, came back for half a shitty story and then left again. Sage in all fields

>>725368132
She fucks some friend of his for revenge.
Predictable/10

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wait wait
the landwale is your gf?
why the fuck would anyone cares about your story then? fuck fat girls, they should die choking on cake

Kys OP

>>725368132
>>cont later GF is trying to cuddle me right now

>>still alive
>>still GF

boring

Oldfags to the gaschambers!

>>725365713
>18
>asking mommy and daddy for permission like the little baby boy you are
jesus fucking christ you dysfunctional millenial manbaby

Sounds like you can't stand your girlfriend OP. Why not just leave her?

>>725368771
>Whale dies cause no water
AHAHAHAHA!

Story just sounds like a bunch of kids try alcohol unsupervised for the first time and things get slightly out of hand BUT OMG SOME SEXUAL STUFF HAPPENED

>>725367547
>not beating the shit out of tubby the bear
pussy

>>725376928
Can you imagine people used to start their own families at that age? He's practically mentally retarded by old standards.