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*This is an Office thread* Cathy I told you to have those quarterly

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 230
Thread images: 21

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*This is an Office thread*
Cathy I told you to have those quarterly reports on my desk yesterday. Where are they?
>>
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>>725340389
that's Cat Tee sir not Cathy. here
>>
>>725340389
Cathy turned them in to you two days ago, Brad. Maybe you should clean your desk so you see them next time.

-James
>>
Attention employees
If you own a black Ford Focus, be advised, you were parked in my designated parking space and I had your car towed. Please do not park in spots designated for management in future, or we will be forced to take action.


-The Boss
>>
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>>725341291
>steals boss's green Volvo
>calls in sick with the gay

- cat
>>
ATTENTION EVERYONE

IF I CATCH ANYONE EATING MY BIRTHDAY CAKE THAT I PUT IN THE FRIDGE I WILL FUCKING FIST YOUR BRAINS OUT
>>
*email*
Gentle reminder about the sexual harassment session we will be having later in the day.

-HR
>>
>>725341742

hey I only grabbed cathy's ass once!
>>
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>>725341520
fuck you gonna do whiteboi??
>>
>>725341873

THAT'S IT. YOU BETTER START RUNNING BECAUSE IT ONLY TAKES ME 5 SECONDS TO PUT ON MY FISTING GAUNTLET. RUN BEFORE I FUCK YOU UP, FAGGOT!
>>
WHO STOLE MY NEW STAPLER? I AM VERY UPSET RIGHT NOW.
>>
Hheeyyyy Mr. Boss man.. ;)

-Cathy
>>
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>>725341986
>>
>>725340389
Your cousin Harvey is a doctah. Why can't you do something like Harvey? You would look so handsome in a doctahs jacket. You spend all your time on the computah, why don't you work on computahs? Its sickening how many figurines you have of cartoon carachtahs. You should get out more, maybe find yourself a nice Jewish girlfriend. Harvey has a girlfriend.

I talked to Barbra and her son is a lawya. Maybe you could get a job working fah him. He is a nice young man. I will let Barbra know your interested.
>>
>>725340389
Why the fuck did you offer this customer a 40% discount?

You think I wouldn't catch you?

You're fucking fired.
>>
>>725342004

oh sorry john! i didn't have one so i borrowed yours and forgot to give it back. here you go
>>
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>>725342055
wtf kinda meeting is this?
>>
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>>725342055

NO! THIS NIGGER JUST ATE MY BIRTHDAY CAKE. I'M NOT GOING TO ANY CONFERENCE
>>
Who the fuck keeps stealing my pens?
>>
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>>725340389
JIM WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT POOPSMOKING ON THE JOB DURING YOUR LUNCH BREAK IN THE PARKING LOT?

YOU'RE FIRED
>>
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>>725342208
>>
>>725340389
Cathy's had enough of this shit!!
Cathy runs to her car to reveal her assault rifle a gas mask and 3 canisters of tear gas
she says "YOUR MOVE MOTHERFUCKERS"
>>
>>725342415

HOW ELSE AM I GONNA GET MY ANAL STIMULATION
>>
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0F1k38x0AIY

howdy pardners
>>
>>725342599
Cathy runs up the stairs with a joyful grin "Today's not gonna be a bad day" she puts 5 in teds chest as she walks through the door
>>
What's going on with the heater?

Security says our alarm is going off.

Can you let AT&T into the closet?

No. No that's across the street.

Can you show the Cintas guy where the uniforms go?

I'm gonna get so fucking drunk after work.
>>
>>725342746

Tim sneaks behind her as he grabs her ass and throws her down the stairs
>>
who the FUCK put laxatives in the coffee pot!
>>
>>725342746
She knows it's now or never she dawns the mask and lets off 2 of the canisters in the central office.
"they can run but they can't escape"
>>
>>725342647
Nigger.
>>
>>725342746
Cathy starts poopsmoking while holding Rick Moranis at gunpoint
>>
>>725342855
She dodges and puts 4 rounds in carl
>>
>>725342938

fuck you faggot, you can't rewrite the story. also i got dubs so my addition is canon, scumbag
>>
>>725342938
at this point the rooms fill with tear gass people are running right into her kill zone she opens up on them
>>
>>725342911
Now now Tyrone, watch the language.
>>
>>725340585
Cat Tee please meet with HR. Your request for Cats being included into the non gender specific bathrooms has been denied.
>>
Hey, Jerry...look at this.
*pulls out blunt from drawer*
>>
>>725343081
now most of the office have gone down she searches the cubicles for any survivors
>>
>>725343108

SORRY MY NIG- I MEAN BOSS
>>
she finds 2 hiding in the office break room "not their day"
>>
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>>725343170

woah, Alan! Where'd you get that? Hehehe, I'm not even sure if I wanna try it!
>>
>>725342873
I BET IT WAS THE BOSS YOU FUCK DID YOU DO IT?!
>>
>>725343281
now the whole office is gone she takes all of the contents of their wallets and rides off into the sunset
>>
>>725343379

Clear your desk. You're fired.
>>
>>725343170
Looks like some quality poop rolled in that blunt
Wanna go poopsmoke it outside at Jim's parking spot?
>>
>>725343379
it was says Cathy before she drives a knife into his chest
>>
Doug from IT here. Just a heads up all the servers will be off line from midnight to 4 AM.

Also, Windows 7 is no longer allowed on the network. If you're caught with it you'll have to talk to Scott in HR.
>>
>>725343429
FUCK I AM
AS A MATTER OF FACT I DESERVE A PAY RAISE FOR DRINKING THAT
>>
>>725343429
not this time "your fired" she says as she proceeds to fire him
>>
>>725343470

Hey Doug, someone installed the MEMZ virus on every computer.
>>
>>725343569
"I'll give you the ultimate raise" Cathy says while she drowns him.
>>
>>725343470
What's wrong with Windows 7? Wanna go settle this up in the men washroom?
I'll beat you up with my meat
>>
Andrew grabs Cathy by the pussy and throws her out the window.
>>
>>725343610
Oh yeah that was me
he deserse it, he fucked my wife
>>
>>725343721
too bad for Andrew Cathy is a secret NINJA she swings around comes back in and stabs andrew in the neck
>>
>>725343721
no.
>>
>>725342873
ATTENTION:
I need all employees to come to the conference room to discuss a recent incident. Thank you.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1hjnCK3qftw
-Bryan from H.R.
>>
>>725343610
Considering that all the computers in this company are at least 10 years old I don't think any of them are capable of running it.

Also, I'm gonna need your tower. Looks like it still has XP on it.
>>
>>725343864
little did they know this was a trap Cathy had rigged the doors and unbeknownst to them was hiding in the conference room
>>
>>725343889
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1hjnCK3qftw

ahhh FUCK.
>>
>>725343864
Thank you for establishing this problem.
>>
>>725340389
Hi I'm here to change the bottle on your water cooler, mind directing me to where it is?
>>
EVERYBODY GET DOWN A SNIPER JUST TOOK OUT SHELLY FROM ACCO
>>
>>725344080
Oh yeah, down the hall to the left
>>
>>725344080
Oh! Thank you for your quickness, Craig from accounting has been talking about this all day. Back right corner next to the bicycle, you can't miss it!
>>
>>725344052
little did they know the laxative was not a laxative it was aids
>>
>>725340389
Hey! You busy? I got a project for you, and I need you to start on it right away.
>>
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>>725344147
I seem to have ended up in the warehouse. "so whata you guys up to?"
>>
>>725344147
Thanks I'll get right to i...
>>725344208
..Huh what, do you have two water coolers or are you guys messing with me intentionally?
>>
>>725344218
That's very unprofessional Bill
You're fired
>>
>>725344208
little did they know Cathy was hiding in the shadows she decapitates the water cooler man and stabs Craig and Amiur through the heart
>>
sorry guys, i know i sound like a 12 year old but here you go: http://vocaroo.com/i/s1KkEjj6tvAj
>>
>>725343864
>a familiar face walks into the conference room, it's old man Jenkins!

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1BDPAXt4kjZ
>>
>>725344327
everyone was having a circle jerk and invite you to join in
>>
>>725344327
The cure to HIV
>>
>>725340389
Just curious. How many anons actually work in an office here? And more or less than 10 employees?
>>
>>725344444

HOLY FUCK
THOSE DIGITS
>>
>>725344345
Bill "not this time YOUR FIRED" as he launches him on a missile into the building
>>
>>725343889
Tom here,
Oh but it does. The Jitterbug gang compromised it. I will take your computer to the IT Lab and will be busy fixing it for ...eh lets say 5:30 hours. Don't call me while I'm busy.
>>
>>725344444
CORPORATE CIRCLEJERK, ITS CANON
>>
Doug from IT again. For the last time, this company uses LibreOffice. If you want MS Office then you can all start a collection in the break room for a site license.
>>
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You guys.
What the fuck is wrong with our new janitors.
They insist on dressing like maids and are faggots.
>>
Hey guys it's Tyrone! Check out this cool bike I found.
>>
>>725344832
TYRONE, another one? we'll they can't say you're good for nothing.
>>
>>725344803
The janitors were indeed faggots as they would kidnap and rape random male employees in the cleaning closets
>>
>>725344371
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1BDPAXt4kjZ
>>725344347
>>725344345
>>725344340
>>725344327
This is Bryan from H.R. Please meet me in the conference room immediately.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1WwWnpdZ2MU
-Bryan
>>
>>725344778

Hey Doug, it's me Walt again. Someone put SPAM in the computer's hard drives. You know, the meat in a can? Basically, the computers are all fucked now.
>>
>>725344327
HOLY SHIT BOB, GETTA FUCKING MASK ON FOR FUCKS SAKE!! WE'RE VAPORIZING CYANIDE!!
>>
>>725344927
I am a victim of this problem, there dicks are 7 inches long and for some reason my dick was hard but this needs to be established a soon as possible.
>>
>>725344482
OP here:
We staff roughly 30 anons in various departments plus an additional five in the mail room. We have two openings in each.
>>
>>725344976
they line up and open the doors as they open the doors they blow apart body parts everywhere.
>>
>>725345156
but now we have 30 openings because of the incident
>>
>>725345167
JOB POSTING:
Fast-growing firm looking to recruit several qualified candidates to fill positions that will last a lifetime.
>>
>>725344976
Laquons vodka also had lsd in it nobody noticed this was not water so everyone in the office trips for several days
>>
>>725345446
a very short lifetime
>>
FOR BRYAN:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1qnpbs56QvH

sorry for sounding like a fuckface 12 year old guys.
>>
>>725345455
as society crumbles they form tribes as they fight for the remaining resources in the office wasteland.
>>
>>725345616

good thing i saved the last few staples
>>
>>725345771
good for you now you can fashon a shiv out of those
>>
Another message from Doug in IT

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1X6QnjlzXtw

YES I know I sound like an autistic asshole, but so do most people in IT
>>
>>725345910

yeah, but the thing is that karen's tribe has the scissors. a staple shiv doesn't have shit on a pair of scissors. everyone knows that.
>>
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Not now!

Can't you see I'm hard at work?
>>
>>725346026
INTERNET EXPLORER ALL THE WAY FAGGOT
>>
>>725346026
http://vocaroo.com/i/s05A53PxM1Y7
>>
>>725345156
Ah.

I work in a office of 15. Last year we also had two interns
>>
>>725346026
>>Everyone's already using google ULTRON
>>
>>725346026
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0G8vv1Rv71e

i sound like a high pitched asshole
>>
>>725344976
--TYRONE--
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Yx6L4Kc7mK
>>
>>725345573
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1qnpbs56QvH
Bryan from H.R. Again.
Listen I don't know home many meetings we have to have but... in the conference room. Now.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1lrm2BLJJkI
Thank you.
Bryan. From Human. Resources.
>>
>>725340389
> Sr. Developer of 30 years experience
> Hey can you explain this generic thing
> Sigh ok again

It is too easy for them to slack off in big companies
>>
WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE
>>
>>725346208
mfw corprate's been snatching people for years 1 every month and sending them to a meat grinder in Siberia
>> whole company is a meat grinding scheme
>>
>>725346600
(fourth wall break) OH MY GOD MY SIDES
>>
>>725346626
that's what everyone says on the first day now come on let's get you situated
>>
>>725346600
I noticed you haven't addressed the janitors
>>725344803
>>
>>725346840
alright, im just gonna grab a coffee real quick.
>>
>>725346600
owing to their careless corporate attitude Cathy still worked at the company
>>
>>725346600
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1lrm2BLJJkI

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1fHJD34RtUy
------WALT-------
>>
>>725347061
He grabs you fully erect you feel it on your back he says "no let me get you something"
>>
>>725347061
Don't, there is laxative paste in there.
>>
>>725347254
I think you left a banana in your pants sir.
Also... you're kinda... close...

>>725347341
Sweet! wait... paste? how do you know it's paste if it's dissolved? I guess I've heard weirder.
>>
>>725347567

this whole office is weird. also, your work station is on the third floor. this is the forth.
>>
>>725347567
Bryan from H.R. said it was.
>>
>>725347201
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1JmRvvMgoF1
---Doug---
>>
>>725347567
Sir rapes young Timmy his rectum tearing every step of the way.
as he leaves he drops him a cigarett and a 20 and says "thanks for all the hard work now get your self cleaned up'
>>
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>>725340389
Fuck you Jim, im a stripper now
>>
>>725347777
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1JmRvvMgoF1

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0KKbAuGjInP
---Walt---

seriously though doug why is there meat in the hard drives
>>
>>725347777
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1JmRvvMgoF1
>>725347756
>>725347705
>>725347201
Bryan from HUMAN. RESOURCES.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1tKdpe2HxET
Thank you.
Bryan.
>>
-Brian-
>Having dappled in the dark arts somehow manages to summon Satan and asks Satan to do his bidding

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0B3MSQXjA4Q
>>
>>725348447
Brian with an I... this might get confusing
>>
>>725348375
BRYAN! ESTABLISH THE JANITORS! THEY'RE RAPING MALE EMPLOYEES IN THE CLEANING CLOSETS!
>>
>>725348447
Satan is summoned and proceeds to rape everyone in sight
>>
Hey this is Alan from IT - some of you have been bypassing the firewall using a USB drive found in the parking lot.

If I have to re-image another workstation today I will be unplugging the office router and you'll miss your Skype sales meetings you pricks.
>>
>>725348447
>summons satan
>can ask for his wildest dream
>asks for every water cooler and coffee machine to be filled with laxative paste water
>>
>>725348900
Yeah, IT, my work laptop has been asking me to update Adobe Writer every time I turn it on, why haven't you fixed this yet?
>>
>>725348900
You fuck I wasn't only doing meetings on Skype.
I was talking to my trap boyfriend.
>>
>>725348914
Satan recognizes no mans authority he takes what he wants and he wants rectums
>>
>>725340389
Im so happy I quit my office job.
>>
>>725349021
Alan - yeah i fixed it *all you see now on the screen is meatspin.com can't escape.exe*
>>
>>725348447
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0B3MSQXjA4Q
Bryan from H.R.
>>725348447
>>725348222
>>725347986
>>725347819
>>725347777
THKJis is bryan from H.r
Great meeting i quiot you fuckz.
Breean from Your mom's hole.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0bdCky2wLzO
>>
So how come the vending machines no longer have any good snacks? I'm not paying $1.99 for vegetable chips, you sadistic fucks.

--- John C.
>>
>>725349053
WHY IS HE RAPING ME AND NOT THE JANITORS, LOOK AT THEM, THEY'RE FAGGOTS
>>
>>725349205
How the hell did you even access this webpage? Our web filter is supposed to block this stuff... Did you use that goddamn USB stick?
>>
>>725349328
Satan - There not here right now and you are
>>
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1kD04KWoK10
---WALT---
>>
anyone else take that mandatory diversity education course that corporate sent down yet??? i need to do it before the 15th but i don't want to spend all day on it... anyone have the answer key?
>>
>>725349849
MY HERO. FUCK BRYAN FROM HR
>>
>>725349849
ARE YOU ONE OF THE JANITORS
>>
>>725349849
you must be 18 to post here bud
>>
http://vocaroo.com/i/s19n9XmYtirI

sounds from the cubicle of the new guy
>>
>>725350313

oh sorry, is 5 years old not good enough?
>>
>>725349849
So wait is this for Brian or Bryan
Also this is archive material
>>
*bends over my cubicle desk and pulls down my pants to show my lovely boipussy soft ass*

Oh boy i hope one of you men don't take advantage of me right here...woof woof!
*slowly shakes my butt and strokes my tail*
>>
>>725350475
I WILL FUCK YOU LIKE A PIG
>>
>>725350426

bryan
>>
>>725350475
Hi, this is Alan from IT again... I've been going through your browsing history and can only say I'm appalled by the sexual roleplay posts you've been submitting online - I'm going to take these logs to HR unless you stop immediately.
>>
>>725350378
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s19n9XmYtirI
OH SHIT OLD MAN JENKINS LIVES
>>
>>725350623

Turns out he faked his death and legally changed his name. What a legend.
>>
>>725350620
I DARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER
>>
>>725350700
what a god among men
>>
>>725350623
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0l4kboMryUx

bing that butt here boy
>>
>>725350475
noticing that he was a faggot everyone ignored him and someone threw shit in his face
>>
>>725350620

I stabbed human resources in the anus until he bled to death.

-Walt
>>
The IT department demands that whoever is responsible for illegally torrenting 'Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace' over our company broadband come forth immediately.
>>
>>725340389
I USED TO WIPE ME ASS JEFF HAHAHAHA YOU FUCKING 4 EYED MONGOLOID, YOU ARE A FUCKING PUSSY, DID YOU KNOW THAT? YOU ARE A FUCKING DWEEB AND A BITCHH, FUCK YOU AND EVERYONE IN THIS OFFICE EXCEPT FOR DAVE.
>>
>>725351017
It was tyrone
>>
SOMEONE PLEASE ARCHIVE THIS THREAD
>>
>>725351075
Used the quarterly report papers is what l meant not used to wipe me ass lol
>>
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Hiii everybody i'm Alexa I uh..just got transfered from accounting...So what's going on here? looks like when left to boys the world comes crumbling down and everything goes to poop :)!

Who's boss around here? Oh hello mister...Is there any way I could possibly get into a *cough cough* more commanding position :)?
>>
>>725351105
Tyrone cant read, much less use computers
>>
>>725351161

bend over you fucking whore. i'm gonna fuck you bloody
>>
>>725351186
Then why was Uncle Toms Cabin in his desk drawer.
>>
A message from old man Jenkins about race equality.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1abQ1sEIVCO
>>
>>725351186

then how the fuck did he even get hired
>>
>>725351372
how could he fit a cabin in his desk drawer?

>>725351420
affirmative action
>>
I just started today and Richard was suppose to train me but he called in sick.

- james
>>
>>725351497

i've seen tyrone steal bikes from the 56th dimension. that fucker can do anything
>>
>>725351497
His nigger magic know's no bounds
>>
>>725351607

dude this office is about to explode in two minutes because that asshole walt planted a bomb
>>
>>725351607
>>
>>725351607
What department do you work in, James? We've had reports of a sex offender loose in the area so the whole office is on high alert for intruders posing as new employees...
>>
>>725351695
Tyrone defused it with a tire pump
>>
>>725351699
or employees posing as intruders
>>
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>>725351225
Hey guys guess what! I'm in charge of this department now! Effective immediately :)!

You can call me Miss Alexa or Boss Alexa, whichever you prefer! Your first order of business is to bring me a coffee!
>>
>>725351699
The supposed janitor's are sex offenders
these email has there company photos and information
>>725344803
>>
>>725351751
by defuse you mean threw it in the parking lot?
now all our cars are destroyed
>>
>>725351844
4 guys bring her a rape instead
>>
>>725351844
As the HR manager for this office, I report straight to corporate - I have been in since this morning, and we were never made aware of this promotion. You hold no authority in this workplace, Ms. Alexa.
>>
Up my ass bill, they're right up my ass.
>>
oh thanks for holding the door i left my card on my desk
>>
>>725351844
It has laxatives though

>>725351869
Not before he stole the boss's lexus
>>
who's in charge of the stationary order again?
>>
>>725340389
haha DELL docking station "Desktops" just get desktops??? and wtf this thread? you know we don't have office jobs like this so don't tease us. Mcdonalds, wendys, car wash, etc. seems more appropriate for here.
>>
>>725352021
and aids
>>
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This place is a wreck! We need to make some cuts to find out who is bringing this department down! Everybody line up! NOW!...please :)

>>725351989
Are you sure about that little mister :)?
>>
>>725352344
little did she know no cuts could be made nobody gets paid here
>>
>NOT satan now works as sleazy Steve, a new janitor

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1rdpdfYytGX
>>
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>>725352442
You're fired.

Anybody else wanna speak up :)?
>>
To: (all)
___________________________

IMPORTANT MEMO 3/13/2017
___________________________

Hi everyone,

Effective immediately, corporate will now require all employees to complete a workplace harassment test before you leave tonight.

You can find the test on the corporate website (under the employee portal, you will need to sign-in first) I advise all of you to stop whatever work you are doing and finish this test by tonight.

--
Regards
Peter Dawson
[email protected]
www.expertsalesforce.com
>>
>>725352710
1) How can sexual harassment in the office be avoided?

2) Have you been a victim of sexual harassment in the past?

3) What can HR do to help victims of sexual harassment in the workplace?
>>
>>725352581
He's right, my family starved to death because I make no money, nobody can get fired either, we signed our human rights away to the company.
>>
>>725352581
you really can't fire any one they technically don't work here
>>
>>725352816
1) How can sexual harassment in the office be avoided?
>Ban women from the office entirely.

2) Have you been a victim of sexual harassment in the past?
>I allegedly slapped Katryn on the ass last year, no witnesses came forth.
3) What can HR do to help victims of sexual harassment in the workplace?
>Allow us to watch pornography on our work computers to relieve stress.
>>
>>725352710
but there's only been 3 rapes today
>>
>>725353004
I am one of the victims, I'm telling you the rapists are the faggot janitors.
>>
File: 1466204144101.png (624KB, 722x525px) Image search: [Google]
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>>725352710
To: (Peter Dawson)
___________________________

URGENT MESSAGE 3/13/2017
___________________________

You're fired. Have a nice day :)

--
Kisses
Miss Alexa
>>725352855
Well then his contract is over.Not you though, you stay, get in my office, when I come back to my office I want you completely stripped down and ready to relieve some of my work related stress.
>>725352928
You are now security, escort this man out of my department.
>>
1) How can sexual harassment in the office be avoided?
>cover-up any reports
2) Have you been a victim of sexual harassment in the past?
>no
3) What can HR do to help victims of sexual harassment in the workplace?
>fire them
>>
>>725353088
well the boss and the HR guy rapped people to
>>
"Oh man... i hope tommy didn't come today... for his safety..."

*shoots office up*
>>
>>725353119
Fine
>walks into office and strips down
>>
>>725353119
This is Alan from IT - I have direct orders from corporate to terminate your employee account and have security escort you from the building.

Do not try to escape via the back window like Johnson did when we terminated him last year.
>>
>>725353174
how can the office cut down on sexulal harassment ?
>> everyone joins in, nobody rats no one believes them
>>
>>725353119
Suddenly the president of the company walks in shits in your mouth and sends you to the basement to file non sensible documents
>>
To: (all)
___________________________

IMPORTANT MEMO 3/13/2017
___________________________

ayy dis tyrone niggas!!!!! dis dumass honkie pter left him computar online fam whas uppp homiez!!!!!! [ d

--
Regards
Peter Dawson
[email protected]
www.expertsalesforce.com
>>
File: 1450749388224.jpg (52KB, 742x720px) Image search: [Google]
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>>725353289
Aww you seem shy! A little on the nervous side? A little worried or scared :)? It's ok, I can deal with that :)!
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1QmB8XrGBBv

>>725353311
Oh no. I see.. Well would you listen to this message and then pass it on to corporate for me?
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0zz8UBNm2T8

Security, escort Alan out of my department.
>>
>>725341859
Sexual Harassment is not permitted in the work place, And im afraid that im going to have to issue a warning, followed by termination. Youre a good employee but we cannot allow any touching of fellow co workers understand?
>>
>>725353835
.......a little
>>
>>725353835
Unfortunately corporate is the Russian mob so they kind of encourage this behavior
>>
>>725353886
but you rubbed your dick on my face yesterday
>>
As you may know, Jeb's wife has recently passed away from cancer. There is a card on the table outside my office if you wish to sign it and show your condolences. God bless. Margaret B.
>>
To: (all)
___________________________

IMPORTANT MEMO 3/13/2017
___________________________

************************************************
U WILL DIE DEAD IF YOU STOP READING
**************************************************

so there was this bunny named elf and he had an owner named benny and benny loved the rabbit. 1 day the rabbit and benny was taking for a walk and then they ran in 2 a girl who also wlaked with her bunny and it’s name was cammie.

her name was beth. beth and benny went 2 starting dating and 1 day they were having unprotected sex and weren’t watching their bunnies like good pet owners should be. then the rabbits both ate hand grenades and exploded. then their exploded bunny parts were buried but the bunny parts turned into smaller bunny babies and clawed their way form the ground and attacked people who have unprotected sex.

if you don’t pass this along 2 12,000 people, bunnies will bite your penis off and they will bite your vagina off 2 and then they’ll eat ur eye balls until they can drink ur eye socket blood. i broke this chain letter and now i’m died.

--
Kindest Regards
Kathy Moran
[email protected]
www.expertsalesforce.com
>>
>>725353835
were also partially owned by a Chinese company that allegedly deals in illegal organ harvesting
>>
>>725354161
THERE IS NO GOD
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8zeaYFQMJM
>>
>>725354172
Kathy this is Alan from IT - please do not send emails of this nature to '(all)', that means every employee in our system receives these messages.

Also, "chain emails" are fake and should not be something read during work hours.
>>
Fuck this dictatorship shit, I say we all revolt and gang rape miss alexa, whos with me?
>>
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>>725354172
Kawaii desu desu
>>
>>725353835
can you.....h-help me with my n-nervousness?
>>
>>725354940
if you drink the urine of a camel this will help
Thread posts: 230
Thread images: 21


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