This is John. John is chilling in his living room. He has a bomb

>>725199145
do the drugs

>>725199145
Detonate the bomb

Cum on his mothers face

>>725199145
Uses his laptop to post this exact same tread

unzip dick

>>725199145
Fucks the bag

>>725199145
hang himself

john makes a hole in the tv screen and fucks the glass

John hangs himself

>>725199145
cry about his white guilt and find the nearest black hooker

>>725199145
John licks his own anus

>>725199466
He changes his religion to islam

>>725200310
Kek

John laments the passing of his former wife and gets absolutely hammered. I mean; really hammered.

In a drunken fit of sadness and rage he walks over and punches his bomb ass television right in the front screen. He ends up electrocuting himself and dies.

Two days later his neighbor goes to check up on him and upon hearing no response and seeing an unlocked door enters himself and finds John's lifeless body. A funeral is arranged and nobody shows up except his last living relative, his great Aunt.

The end.

>>725200411
No

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>>725200310
John contorts his body into an odd shape, desperately trying to lick his own anus. Sadly, his efforts are in vain. He is just not limber enough to perform such a task.
1 decides what John does next.

>>725200310
Winrar!

>>725199145
John goes outside and buys a furry costume, because he is a faggot

>>725200635
John decides to drink a gallon of bleach, for fun.

>>725200635
>John goes outside and buys a furry costume, because he is a faggot
>rerolling

>>725200635
John gets a kitty.

>>725200098
reroll

>>725200635
John opens his laptop and finds a thread about fat asians

>>725200635
John removes his left thumb.

Have john log on to the laptop and go to this thread and post in it.

>>725200914
reroll

>>725200635
After a fail attempt at licking his own anus, he decided to try sucking his massive 18 inch cock

John invites a local gay prostitute.

>>725200635
John rapidly looks for his drug stash

>>725200635
John goes outside and steals a car, so that he can play GTA irl

>>725200635
john goes outside and beats a nigger with his television

>>725200635
John calls his crush to confess his feelings

>>725201000
check'd

>>725200951
Kek

>>725200635
John takes his penis, and pisses in the electrical outlet.

>>725200635
>john goes outside and beats a nigger with his television
rerolling 4 dis

>>725200995
>>725201000
combine the two

>>725201091
WINRAR

>>725201091
Damn it

>>725201150
Uhh no. Someone beat you to it faggot.

John uses his laptop to attempt to hack into the Canadian secret service important persons database.

>>725200951
Winrar

>>725201124
rolling for this.

John wakes up from his dream, and realizes he still is alone, homeless, and slowly starving to death beneath a highway.

File: 2.jpg (47KB, 648x648px) Image search: [Google]

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>>725200951
John breaks the fourth wall and heads directly to /b/ in order to post in this thread. This is what he posts:
"Who posted me on 4chan?"
John is slightly irritated but figures that since no real information about his life was leaked, and since no one will really believe his post, he is relatively safe.
2 decides what John does next.

john shits on a dog

>>725201390
since he was unable to lick his own ass, he calls for an escort to do it for him

John fingers his ass while lurking on a loli thread

>>725201390
Goes outside

>>725201390
John decides to shit post on /a/

>>725201473
reroll

John fucks his mom

>>725201473
re

John cuts his dick off and mails it to trump

>>725201390
he calls over a female friend

john takes a heaping shit on the bean bag

Take some LSD and listen to some Mount Kimbie. Maybe some Animal Collective.

>>725201390
John is so frustrated because OP is such a faggot, that he decides to go to a fucking bar, and hire all the mercenaries he can get, to find OP and kill him once and for all.

>>725201532
win rar

>>725201532
winrar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>725201532
Win fucking rar

>>725201390
John calls his crush to confess his feelings to her

>>725201585
edgy

john cuts off his legs, arms, and head and becomes a walking torso

>>725201473
rerolling for 3

>>725201688
how he gon walk with no legs? u stoopid

john sucks his own dick

john turns into a banana

>>725201390
Josh has an explosive diarrhea and decides to shit on the ground

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47KB, 300x400px

>>725201723

>>725199145
John gets his ged

John gets herpes

John turns 360 degrees and walks away

>>725201888
>>725201911
winrar?

John sucks a fat nigger cock

John shares CP with the thread

>>725201888
>>725201911
chek'd and reroll'd

>>725201994
bump

john does some of the drugs he has stashed. shrooms if possible

John kills thread

John fucks Chinkmoot in the ass

john eats his on feces

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>>725201532
John decides to finally man up and fuck his mother. He calls her and schedules a visit, at which he plans to seduce her. He purchases his plane tickets and goes to the Cityplace airport, where he begins waiting at the TSA checkpoint.
3 decides what John does.

john is kill

>>725199145
Loli time http://streamboobs.com

John does the drugs and immediately cuts a hole in the beanbag to fuck it while high

john goes outside and shits on a dog

>>725202182
John forgot he packed his drug stash in his carry-on and tries to eat it before TSA finds it.

>>725202182
decides to give up on his oedipus fantasy and just go to a brothel to relieve his sexual needs

>>725202182
starts cracking wise about this or that being da' bomb

john fucks an eagle

>>725202182
He shouts allahu akbar

>>725202182
gets naked and starts threatening the guards

John cuts his penis off and sucks it

>>725202363
WINRAR

>>725202182
attempts to steal someone else's luggage

John decides to fuck a bottle

John fast-forwards in time to the scene where he fucks his mother.

File: capa2.png (66KB, 1769x1413px) Image search: [Google]

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I like what is happening here.
The 'John fucks an eagle' get made me laugh out loud

>>725202182
John enter into a furious sex rage and fuck them all to death

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>>725202363
John cannot wait to quench his sexual thirst and resolves to fuck the Cityplace City Eagle right there in the airport. John rushes to where Eggy the Eagle is held in the airport, on display for all who enter Cityplace, and fucks it to death.
Immediately, John is arrested and jailed for bestiality/animal abuse and for desecrating a symbol of freedom.
4 decides what John does.

>>725202840
starts jacking off in front of the guard

>>725202840
refuse to speak without a lawyer present. can't afford a lawyer on 20, calls a student from the acting school instead.

>>725202840
John looks around the cage to find out if he's alone

>>725202840
john escapes from prison and beats a nigger with a correctional officer

John shits everywere and will never stop

>>725202840
attempts to seduce the guard

>>725202840
pretends to be insane and starts hitting himself on everything

John sucks guards dick to get out of jail

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>>725199145
>find drugs
>do drugs
Sounds oddly fagmilliar

John is now El Chapo and escapes from prison.
(also, why is a caged eagle a symbol of freedom?)

John spontaneously combusts

>>725202840
Call his mom to bail him out then fuck her brains out

>>725202840
John uses his amazing charisma to convince the guard to free him.

John farts

>>725203104
wot?

>>725203085
is this a YLYL thread lmao

>>725203104
winrar. this is amazing

>>725202840
Offer to rebuild the eagle. We have the technology. We can make it faster, stronger, smarter.

>>725203111
John checks those trips and shows them to the guard.

John seduces the guard that lets him go

>>725202840
successfully invites the guard to make hot sex to him and steals his gun during coitus

>>725202840
Start a non profit organization to protect sea turtles and then murder a prostitute.

>>725203233
Rolling for this

>>725203233
wait, is the organization murdering a prostitute or is john?

>>725199145
Calls a hooker and smothers her with the beanbag chair so he can finally say a woman stayed the night.

>>725203165
Might as be fam. Make the guy in this story shitpost bananas on B lol

>>725203367
Why not both fam

>>725203535
Might as well be **

File: 5.jpg (53KB, 648x648px) Image search: [Google]

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>>725203104
John bursts into flames. The cop guarding the cell is visibly shaken and, with no prior background or idea of what to do, lets John out of the cell.
John sprints out of the police station, where he had been detained in a holding cell, and runs down the streets of Cityplace burning alive.
5 decides what John does.

>>725202976
Happens more IRL than u could imagine

John finds a child on the street and brings him into an alley way and deficates on his face

>>725203755
dives into the first available source of water. then mugs the first available pedestrian

John shoves his 20 dollars up his ass

>>725203755
stop drop and roll

>>725203755
finds the nearest extinguisher and extinguishes himself before returning to the jail and raping the guard in revenge

>>725203755
Go back home

John changes his sex, coz his mom is lesbian

John goes to the local park to hug the neighborhood children

John cums and can not ever stop cumming

John runs into his mom on the street and fucks her while still ablaze. No cop-outs this time.

>>725203755
runs directly to the first flammable structure, and once the blaze is set, attempts to stop, drop, and roll

>>725203755
John died

The end

>>725203755
John stops and finds a hotdog cart and starts to consume them all

>>725203981
reroll

>>725203978
Roll

>>725203755
John stumbles upon an open man hole, and in his desperation to find any possible moisture to extinguish the flames, throws himself down the manhole in search of raw sewage to roll around in

>>725203971
this

John eats a sandwitch

>>725203981
rolling

>>725204049
Reroll

>>725203981
roll

John becomes the supreme spirit of fire

>>725203755
pees on himself

>>725203755
John sees a fire truck parked

>>725203755
John looks for criminals to fight crime as the human torch.

John
Fucks
a
Neck beard weabo

>>725203978
Rollin

>>725204095
Winrar?

>>725204000
Holy trips and zeroes

John crashes a wedding.

John's $20 has probably incinerated and should be removed, in any case.

>>725204095
winrar

>>725204125
Shit

jumps on the guards and rolls together to extinguish the flames then rapes the guard but his dick hurts really bad because he has burns all over it so he goes to the hospital after he cums and he is told he will never be able to fuck again and that drives him over the edge and he jumps out of the window in the hospital but that doesnt kill him instantly, and while laying almost dead on the pavement a cute girl passes by him and calls him a fucking faggot

John is abducted by a UFO.

>>725204230
Hey, good catch

>>725204259
Tihs

he stop drops and rolls cuz hes not a dumb nigger

>>725204371
reroll

John runs into a supermarket and jumps into a lobster tank.

John will invade the motherland

>>725204371
rolllll pleSse fucks sake put him out

guys, before rolling check that nobody won before you. coz I did

>>725204452
reroll

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>>725204095
John enters a gender reassignment surgery clinic to ask for a sex change, but the flames that have engulfed him spread to the clinic and set it ablaze. Transgenders and sin-facilitating doctors alike both burn in the flames.
6 decides what John does.

>>725204543
stops drops and rolls and calls the fire department

John rapes a cat

>>725204543
John becomes a super saiyan and goes on a rampage to destroy every gender reassignment clinic in the country.

>>725204543
finds a fire extinguisher and puts himself out

>>725204543
John buys an AK-47 and shot some alt-right faggots

>>725204655
rolling for this

>>725204543
John kills himself in any way possible, not becoming a ghost, resulting in the sad end of this story.

>>725204543
extinguishes the fire, and acquires the appropriate medical attention

>>725204621
reroll

>>725204655
reroll

John farts

>>725204543
John reaches Nirvana thru the pain Induced from the flames, ascending into a being created of pure energy, the high possible form of sentinent life

>>725204655
roll

>>725204680
^

>>725204543
put out the fire by dousing himself in the blood of his enemies, (the sin-facilitating doctors)

then gtfo the building and watch the lightshow

>>725204543
Breaks the 4 wall & fucks his clone then marrys it

>>725204543
>John is absolved of all crimes
>Goes backe to airport
>As he goes to bored his flight he screams Allah Akbar
>Shot in head
>Thread dies

>>725204662
this

>>725204543
puts out the fire

John steals a plane

John creates a living breathing Judy Hopps to be his fuckbunny

>>725204680
roll

Pees on himself extinguishing the flames

John crusaded the Holy Lands

>>725204714
Roll

>>725204543
John's flames stop and he spends the rest of the day researching nuclear launch codes.

John removes his pants and cuts his dick off

>>725204655
r
o
l
l

>>725204750
Oh shit. Roll

>>725204655
reroll

Johns mom cucks him with a big nigger

>>725204680

>>725204543
an heroes because this thread is retarded and he doesnt want to follow the orders of edgelords anymore

>>725204722
REROLL

>>725204543
John joins the x-men

John rapes a child

sends nudes to a friend

John becomes Godzilla and smashes New-York

File: 1448746385329.gif (42KB, 715x500px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 715x500px

>>725204655

>>725204543
seeks medical attention, after putting out the fire.

>>725204767
Rerollarino

>>725204795
>>725204680

>>725204802
one more then ill stop

>>725204655
Roll

>>725204750
Rooooll

>>725204828
rolling for this

>>725204655
come on super saiyan

>>725204680
>>725204795

John uses his 20 dollars to get a hooker

>>725204844
Roll

>>725204722
what blood you 12 year old? they literally burned alive? where tf you gonna get their blood from?

>>725204764
reroll

>>725204543
Goes to the gas station

>>725204866
fuck

>>725204866
Win!

>>725204543
mugs a pedestrian for their fire extinguisher

>>725204866
checked

>>725204543
seems like a happy ending to me

john realises that despite burning for a while, the flames do not hurt him. he suddenly wonders if his cum will be on fire if he nuts.

John realizes how powerful he has become and goes off to become a villain.

>>725204866
U win

hangs himself while on reddit

John decides to stop being an alcoholic and returns to his wife to live a happy life

File: 1489244274530.jpg (34KB, 480x480px) Image search: [Google]

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>>725204866
Fuck you, pure energy is the bee's knees

>>725204866
winrar!!!!!!

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>>725203535

>>725205033
Bee's don't have knees

>>725204866
your move, OP

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>>725204866
John suddenly realizes he's a super saiyan and decides to exterminate PC culture by destroying every gender reassignment clinic in the USA. John floats like a fucking queer with spiky blond hair above the Earth and marvels at his accomplishment.
This feat has worn out his power however and he has to lose his super saiyan level for the time being.
7 decides.

>>725205436
John, feeling the full guilt of his actions decides the only way to reconcile is to aim a nuclear warhead at his house in Cityplace and fire, with him riding on the nose of the missile.

>>725205243
wat

>>725205476
roll

>>725205476
reroll

>>725205436
John gets bored and shitposts a banana on this thread while drawing bananas in real life.

>>725205436
goes on this thread and seeing all the faggots kills himself ending the thread once and for all

teaches up how to trip

>>725205541
this

John realizes his whole life has been determined by faggots /B/

File: 1476671272989.jpg (8KB, 247x250px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 247x250px

>>725205436
John kills himself

>>725205552
reroll

>>725205436
John feels the sudden urge to fondle a doorknob yo

>>725205436
John visits the Golden Coral to eat and replenish, but is confront by several gang affiliated men of color before he reaches the food.

>>725205580
Reroll

>>725205436
John goes to visit the President

an heroes

>>725205476
rolling for this

>>725205541
dis

John decides to go swim in the blood of the liberals he killed to extinguish the flames.

adds up all the post numbers on the thread

>>725205614
rerawl

>>725205436
Extinguis the fire, and start mugging homeless folks

john finally gets to his mom

>>725205637
aw shit

>>725205614
Roll

>>725205637
>>725205647
kek
I wanted a good shitpost but i guess he does an hero

>>725205637
winnner winnr chikin dinger

John swims to England thus putting out the fire, enters a hospital and gets gender reassignment surgery. Xi is now known as joan and only answers to the pronoun xi

>>725205637
>>725205436
OP please let John Die a noble death by incorporating >>725205476

>>725205436
John rolls into a ball and eats himself becoming a blackhole

John finally burns to death, but cannot rest until he fucks his mother.

comes back as a ghost and adds every post number in the thread

>>725205614
Roll>>725205614
Rollerino

>>725205476
rolling

>>725205436
Sucks off a trans nigger

>>725205831
>>725205888

Hit that fucking [Update] button
someone's already gotten 7

>>725205888
checked!

>>725205436
Fucks a horse nigger

>>725205436
Turns into a nigger

>>725205436
Becomes a Nigerian prince

>>725201390
John gives himself an enema with the liquor he has

>>725206045
>>725205982
do you cunts not have [Auto] on or ever hit the [Update] button?

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>>725205637
John kills himself, passes on, and arrives at the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter greets him.
John must have picked the true religion in life in order to pass into Heaven.
8 decides which religion John followed. Only one correct answer.

>>725205436
Becomes a Nigerian Dwarf

>>725206150
he was a mormon

>>725206150
He decide to masturbate to hentai

Religeon of child molestation

>>725205436
Becomes a Nigerian Dwarf Hunter

>>725206150
Nazism, god is hitler

>>725206150
Atheism

>>725206150
John has a big nose

>>725205436

he extinguishes the flames and checks himself into a er clinic to receive burn treatment. poor guy.

pays a hooker $5 bucks to get her to give him a rim job

>>725206150
he is a mormon and asks saint peter to become his 8th wife

>>725206150
He was a straight white christian male

He was a a faggot

>>725206268

roll

>>725205436
Is now a Furry

>>725206255
REROLL

>>725206150
Pastafarianism

>>725206150
John was a devout follower of the church of dan.

>>725206150
scientology

>>725206150
muslim extrremist

>>725206150

>still has 20 dollars

>>725206232
roll

>>725206150
Atheism

>>725206340
reroll

>>725205436
Sucks off a nigger, becoming a Nigger himself

>>725206150

he is a mormon

>>725206150
Snake-handler

>>725206150
Satanist

>>725206340
dan pls

>>725205436
Faggot

>>725206450

roll

>>725206150
rape baby jesus

scientology, John devoted his entire life to scientology

>>725206340
gib dan

>>725206150
he is an atheist reddit communist

>>725206521
reroll

>>725206340
rolling for dan

>>725206450
roll

>>725206150
satanism

File: QA8ck.jpg (17KB, 320x256px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 320x256px

>>725206150
>>725206453

Rolling

>>725206340
rolling for this, but he was actually a lord high priest of dan.

>>725206588
we got winrar

>>725206150
muslim

File: 1488673443680.jpg (25KB, 540x960px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 540x960px

>>725206521
rolling for this

>>725206150
john lived a majority of his life as the self-proclaimed deity of Cityplace, thus being the founder and primary leader of the cult massing around 700,000 followers

>>725206340
church of dan pls

>>725206588
hurry OP

>>725206150
Goes to hell to fuck trans devil

John gasses a furry convention

>>725206798
rip
this woulda been great

a fucking super saiyan goes to hell and rapes the devil

John proceeds to shit on St. Peters doggo

>>725206850
no it wouldnt have, how was he gonna draw that shit in the first place?

>>725206850
Roll

John is president of México :v

>>725206997
Rolling the roll

John can shit infinite money

>>725207059
Re-Re-Reroll

File: 9.jpg (64KB, 648x648px) Image search: [Google]

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>>725206588
John was in fact a devout Mormon, however, this was not the correct religion and so John is sent to Hell.
In Hell, he meets Satan, who tells him that he will be spending eternity experiencing his own personal hell.
9 decides what John's personal hell is.

>>725207134
Reroll

>>725207150
John says fuck hell and goes super saiyan again to fight the devil

>>725207150
Be sure to include all of the trannies he killed they are all exceptionally gorgeous but he has to live with the fact that He cannot fuck them.

>>725207150
having to watch some furry shit 24/7

Fucking his mom for eternity

>>725207212
rolling for this

>>725207150
>>725207150
Videogames

>>725207233
rolling for this

>>725207235
Roll

>>725207150
John Pays satan 20 bucks to go back before he is buried.

>>725207150
A fancy strip club, but all the chicks are trannies.

>>725207150
John goes ssj3 & fucks the devil

>>725207150
returning to zero and being force to live again

>>725207150
John has to listen to every lie ever told to him, but by Donald Trump, over and over Again

>>725207150
john is resurrected by kek himself and is now a transgender midget living in downtown new york with a sassy side kick abortionist

>>725207259
well that was fast
fucking super niggers

>>725207306
roll

>>725207259
WI NEAR THE DEVIL GONNA LOOK LIKE A LIL BITCH

STOP ROLLIN MY /B/ROS, somebody already won

>>725207316
Rerol

>>725207150
Fucking The Devil's Spiky Vagina

>>725207313
as a qt trap

>>725207221
reroll

>>725207150
>>725207150
His mother

>>725207306
rolling for this

>>725207448
Roll!

>>725207306
Pays Satan to go back

John can make a shit sword

>>725207150
>>725207150
Fucks satan

Getting tickled by all of the trannies he killed

>>725207629
nice

>>725207629
Congratulations!

Being reincarnated as a demi-sexual gender-fluid planet-kin

>>725207629
Hurry Op!

>>725207790
>>725207259
dumb nigger

Gives satan his $20 After fucking him

>>725207259
John attempts to fight the Prince of Darkness, but has lost the ability to go super saiyan because his buffs/debuffs were removed upon entering the afterlife. Ultimately, John fails to defeat Satan and is beaten up and ass raped by him.
Satan chuckles at John's pitiful attempt and decides to devise something even worse for John.
0 decides what it is.

>>725207903
Rolling

File: 0-A.jpg (1B, 486x500px)

1B, 486x500px

>>725207973
Forgot Picture.