>Walk into your house >You find Taylor Swift standing there

Get the fuck out of my house I don't even like your music.

>>725188573
Put her in a separate room, give her a walkie talkie and lock the door. Tell her i'll only let her out once she has farted down the walkie talkie 5 times whilst I masturbate in the other room.

nah, its probably just a semen demon
i'd let her suck my sexual energy and leave

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>>725188573
Ask her if she wants to go fishing with me

>>725188909
Lmao, why not have her blow a fart across your face instead?

>>725188573
Bend over and let her fuck my ass with her strap on

Just give her a simple cock slap and tell her to fuck off .

>>725188573
Tie her up and invite my nigger neighbors over and watch her get blacked

rape her probably.

>>725189059
because that's disgusting.

>>725188674
I bet she's never even heard of 4chan

>>725188573
Be a good fucking host.
>Can I get you something to drink?
>Please, make yourself at home. Have a seat wherever you'd like.

>>725189183
Her cat either

>>725189157
Nah. I'd happily let her sit on my face and fart up my nose. Having her squat over my face and drinking her piss and swallowing her shit is cool too

>>725189157
Not really, just breathe through your mouth so you don't smell it

>>725188573
Shoot at her in the name of self defense.
Call an ambulance after she is laying on my floor and when she recovers, sue her ass for that sweet money.

I've awaited you great priestess, is the time now ?

What is your biding ?

>>725189075
Yeah, me too, she looks like a powerful dyke, she'd shred my anus

>>725188573
"Your eyes are weird"
"please consider leaving now"

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>>725188573
say hello

Probably a short greeting before excusing myself and going to be alone in my room until she leaves, like I do with anyone my roommates have over.

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>>725189219
I live in my mothers disgusting house so she couldn't be in my home cause I don't have one

>>725189321
She's totally done it before. I bet she has a whole range of strap ons. She can use the biggest one she's got on me, and just destroy my ass

>>725189272
That's a bit far bud, the fart and pee are fine but the shit is extreme if you're eating it

I'd tell her to shake it off.

>>725189438
That was more what I'd do if I found her in my house. I'd treat her just like anybody else that comes over. She's just a hooman like the rest of us.

>>725189296
We got a fucking genius over here! Shooting her it is!
Wait, why do we have to shoot her? Can't you just sue her for b&e and scaring you into having ptsd? Now you're always afraid to go home because you feel like someone has broken in and is inside

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>>725189593
hooman?

>>725189593
You treet all hoomens the sam?

>>725189897
Yea, she's not alen

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>>725188573
I'd pretend to not be embarrassed of my mothers house

>>725189219
Faggot. You'd probably make her eggs too

>>725190418
why did I hear this in some inbred british voice...

>>725188573
Nothing.

>>725191224
Lmfao, got me. I'm an American yankee

>>725190418
I would because eggs have lots of protein

>>725188573
prepare to receive gift. TayTay only visit cuz she wants my pure love. she gift pootie, I return gift of spooge.

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Tell her this is Texas and she's trespassing. Then give her a gallon of milk and a bowl of eggs.
Livestream it to Japanese salarymen.
Sleep on a bed of tax free yen.

>>725188573
Ask her how long until she breaks up with the guy she's dating so she can write another song

"What'd I do?"

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Browse 4chan with her, since there's heavy evidence she uses it

>>725188573
say "Taylor, are you here for sex?"

>>725188573
I would rape her.

Not even joking. She would like my 7.5 inch BWC.

>>725190418
>He wouldn't make Taylor Swift eggs

>>725192244
Same

What does Taylor Swift's asshole taste like? Anyone know?

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>>725191742
Genius!

/thread

>>725192341
wait a minute.. if he has Taylor Swift eggs, couldn't we grow new Taylor Swifts? Then everyone could have one.

>>725193025
MAKE her eggs, not TAKE her eggs

>>725188573

Not this shit again

Taylor stop coming to my fucking house, we've been through this, we are done.

Write a fucking song about how I broke your heart and even put in that I have a tiny fucking penis, just please get the fuck out of my house you stupid skank

Why don't you go fuck Rick Ross again, you bbc loving whore

Awh

drop spaghetti

>>725193498
And spill chocolate milk

>>725188573
>what I'd like to do
bend her over and fuck her up the ass

>what I'd probably do
ask her why she's here.

>>725188573
wood fukc

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Turn 360 degrees and feed that skinny bitch.