I've never been to Ikea. It's just a furniture store

>>725151852
It's where all Swedish people are born and manufactured.

>>725151852
I've never been to one either, I doubt we're missing much

>>725152601
What's the connection?

>>725151852
Yes, and a shitty 'restaurant' at that.

Good spot to get super cheap furniture. Lucky I lived near one when I started school, decked my apartment for ~$300

>>725151852
yes. just a furniture store with a restaurant

you're not missing anything

some OK deals on furniture.

most of the furniture is cheap and lasts a very short while.

you probably dont know but the founder used to support Hitler something along that line, go google it

>>725153684
>short while

most of the shit in my house is from ikea and i got the same shit since like 11 years.

>>725153885
"if one, then all"

it's owned by jew/nigger-hating old nazi named ingvar kamprad.

it's also where swedish rednecks & white-trash shops for furniture

>>725153885
they made decent ones in the past but nowdays not too good quality

>>725151852
Breakfast is $0.99. I eat 3 of them while my gf shops. I basically have never been to Ikea either.

>>725153919
Dude how the fuck is he a Jew and a Nazi at the same time are you retarded?

ikea are great for: free wifi, cheap delicious food, a bed to lay down, sofa to sit, ladies to creep

>>725153885
Anything from ikea that lasts cost as much as furniture elsewhere. It's the cheap shit people rave about of ikea and they don't last.

>>725154198
bad formulation; he hates jews & niggers, and has a nazi past:
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-14661582

I once bought an old-fashioned alarm clock from there, and it was pretty good.

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>good looking furnature
>hmm i want to buy
>>le buy
>> 5 days later
>gets couch into room
>opens the box
>gets the guide to assembly
>fuck it's complicated

>>725154198
Emil Maurice was

>>725151852
IKEA is hands down the most terrifying retail establishment ever developed. I have only been in one once, and it was the stuff of nightmares. There is only one entrance and one exit. You have to zig-zag through the entire store like some kind of cheap swedish made maze.

>Walk into find low quality computer desk
>Enter maze at 1100
>Find desk after 2 arduous hours of searching
>Seek exit
>THERE IS NO EXIT
>trapped in the maze for 2 more hours
>panic sets in
>start running through the store
>endless shelves of cheap shit
>imagine place burning down and being stuck inside
>find exit and bypass register to leave immediately
>still didn't get my desk

If one thing caught fire in there everyone would die.

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you are missing these

>>725155102
lmao underrated.

>>725154952
you are an idiot, earth does not belongs to you, fuck off to mars

I build all my furniture by hand out of trash and scrap I find in the common wealth. Just like in fallout

Ikea is pretty cool,especially if you need cheap furniture. Unfortunately the cheapest stuff is also the stuff that breaks easiest. They also have limes with massive wooden furniture, which obviously lasts longer. The idea with cheap ikea stuff is "assemble once, never take it apart". Also, the assembling really isn't that hard, and I don't get the complaints about it. The drawings are usually fool proof.

As for finding what you need; you can visit the website, pick what you want, and get it out of their storage with your lane and rack number (or even order the assembly packages at home). You can entirely skip the "showroom" (unless you want to test out the furniture yourself). There are also numerous pathways to skip specific areas.

As for the restaurant, might be cheap but I find most shit inedible.

>>725155525

s/limes/lines

IKEA employee here. I work at the restaurant, its more of a cafeteria actually.
My department is by far the worst at IKEA and is considered by most a 'trap'. The pay is good but the work is usually intense depending on the amount of clients. AMA i guess

>>725151852
I work a block from an Ikea, go there for lunch hour almost every day.

There is a "restaurant" which is actually a cafeteria, and small portions of half decent but overpriced food. Downstairs their is a food counter where they sell hotdogs coffee and pizza slices. I go there because for $2.10 I can get 2 hotdogs, and a coffee with free refills, and spend lunch hour using the wifi. There are 3 different parts of the store with couches and comfy chairs to sit while using my tablet.

The remaineder section is worth looking at, sometime you luck out and get something you can use cheap.

The furniture ranges from low price and quality to medium high.

The big deal about Ikea is it's style, there really aren't any other places like it. All the product signs are in Swedish, with English underneath in a smaller font. The store is big, and it isn't set up on a grid, it's a big long snakey path, with light arrows projected on the floor from the ceiling to help keep directions straight. Everything is done in a "Swedish" style, or at least something that seems Swedish to a Canadian mind. They are mindful of Swedish holidays, like some crayfish festival in early december. Areas get re-done and stuff moved around every couple of years so everything always looks new and clear.

>>725154952
This post is the most panic-ridden old man thing I've read on /b/ in years.
Both floors are designed to be walked through in a straight path, but if you look for more than one fucking second there's a break and a cutthrough at every possible spot. Maps of the floors are prominent almost everywhere at the in-betweens (bedrooms and living rooms, etc), and the sales catalogue they hand out at the entrance has a map in it. You do not have to exit the doors by the registers.

>>725155795
Do you have to be white to complete the swedish vibe?

>>725155795
How many squirrels does it take to make those meatballs?

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>>725151852
Ikea is like the third plane of hell. Whatever you're trying to find - whoever you brought with you will buy other useless shit and take literal hours making fucking unimportant decisions so it's up to you to buy that one item you actually needed. After you've spent about an hour in the alleys which are arranged that you can't skip parts you don't want to visit you finally find it - at an acceptable price. It's an acceptable price for a piece of shit that will hold 10 years tops - but since everyone throws their shit away that fast, that's acceptable.
Ikea is like the reincarnation of todays society. Greasy food combined with cheap shit, but at least it got a nicely designed plastic cover!

>>725151852
They have awesome restaurant. Good god that meat.

>>725156206
Im white but the work force is diverse af.

>>725156247
1 squirrel per 3 plates of 8 meatballs

>>725156402
> today's youth are the problem
> I literally can't read a map

>>725156478
They dont have this at all IKEA but i like the butter chicken

>>725156247
ikea horse meatballs isnt just three randomly strung together words

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/26/world/europe/ikea-recalls-its-meatballs-horse-meat-is-detected.html

Ikea:
https://youtu.be/TBCtseoYkqc?t=53s

Ikea furniture shows how complicated furniture can be. Most people have no fucking idea how complex most things in their lives are, and they complain about anything that requires more than half a page of instructions.

>>725156402
This anon has never actually been to their cafeteria. They don't do burgers or anything normal people would call greasy.
How the fuck is furniture that will last ten years not worth their prices? The idea is that younger people can afford it.

>>725156837
>map for a store
just shows how retarded it is

>>725156886
We don't have that in Poland. Or I have an autism and didn't see that

>>725157335
... it's a big fucking building. There's a lot of sections. What the fuck are you talking about?

>>725151852
Just go. It's the best fucking place on earth! I go every weekend to drink their free coffee and lounge on their shit.. no social life so it's a way to feel like I'm visiting other peoples places

>>725157335
The Ikea in my area is as large as a supermarket PLUS the supermarket's car park. Why would they not include a map?

There are a few categories of people who come to IKEA.
The couples moving in - usually quite fresh women.
Young guys with parents - rich parents getting their hot daughters furniture for the first apartment. I've gotten a number from this category on a few occasions.

>>725151852
IKEA is a way of life , embrace it and your happiness will increase

>>725154244
>ladies to creep.
This. when I go, there all these college girls and milf with dresses, skirts and shorts just moving around. I creep like there is no other and you can move around the furniture so you get good angles pretending to be measuring. Don't buy much just just wall around.
Also don't eat cheap sweden food.

>>725157004
Horsemeat is good!

>>725157769
>>725158183
yet other stores as big as ikea don't have that problems and don't need a map

>>725151891
This

>>725151852
>Ikea

They have a bunch of cheap housewares, too. I like to walk around Ikea once a year to see what their latest design ideas and colors are. It's fun.

>>725161143
> other big stores with much simpler layouts and selections require no map
all those two-story showroom/warehouse stores *you* go to must be perfectly designed, then.

>>725155795
IKEA dishwasher here what's up man

>>725151852
It's basicly like Apple, just for furniture hipsters.

It's a pretty good place to work, washing dishes sucks cock though.

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ours has a mariachi band

It's cheap furniture arranged in a maze with a food court type addition and varying additives like a movie area or daycare so you can spend hours and hours comparing dressers. It's definitely a child of consumer culture.

The layouts of IKEA are so you have to walk through the entire store. It's like a maze with only 1 path. You don't put item in your shopping cart for the most part. You walk around with a piece of paper and mark down the items you want. Then at the end you hand it to somebody and they go fill your order.

Strange place. Only been once and wanted to fucking kill myself because my GF took forever.

>>725151852
>not knowing about the leftist/multiculti political lectures going on after hours

>>725151852
No your not missing a thing.

>>725163538
There are shortcuts, you know.

That cheap plywood "funiture" that you have to create as if you where folding a paper airplane.

Go to a walmart and buy their 5 dollar shelves or something, same shit.

>>725161990
i guess, but most people can agree that ikea is shitty designed

Never fuckin go there unless you are forced, it's a Swedish concentration camp

>>725159126
lol what is this propaganda ad for ikea

fucking swedes lol

>>725151852
it absolutely fucking sucks anon. Don't fuckiing go jesus christ don't do it.
Unless you need cheaply made over priced shitty furniture

>>725154390
yeah, was gonna say. i bought a loveseat a little over a year ago. it was like over $500. not cheap imo

>>725151852

it is fucking shit anon. the food is crap tier, no better than fast food.

the store is laid out fucking retarded. i have only been twice and both times i wondered how many people would die if the place caught on fire.

there are no isles in the store, only a path to lead you through all of their bullshit designer garbage. if you walk in like "man i want to check out their computer desks!" expect to spend a fucking hour on the only path through the store and see all of the bullshit from bedrooms, kitchens, fucking living rooms, bathrooms.

it is fucking bullshit

>>725151852
Basically yes. A long, winding and maze like corridor with mini rooms on each side each with different styles. So you might get a few different styles of kids bedrooms for each sex, then different front room setups, then kitchen setups, etc etc
The major thing going for them is choice. You can find pretty much anything of any size in any style to fit what you need and if you can't they do a fair amount of modular stuff too.
My computer desk and all my bedroom sideboards are from ikea.
Stuff is pretty easy to assemble, just needs a fair amount of floor space for all the pieces.

Restaurant is basically OK for a snack but don't expect anything beyond 'cafeteria' grade food but after spending 3 weeks stuck inside the fucking maze you'll be glad of some food & drink.

>>725165602
i'm sure they can, but they don't because most people don't have crippling autism.

Why would anyone need a map for IKEA in the first place? Is that showing off the average American's citizen intelligence, or are people incapable of seeing the blank path in front of you? It literally goes in a circle.
I been to IKEA ever since I was allowed for Smoarland, but I doubt that has anything to do with it. I don't even like the store too much.

>>725166226
>>725166138
>>725156402
did you get fired from ikea or something? i bet you probably sperged out on a customer for moving the ladels you had just meticulously arranged

>>725166353
liability reasons you fucking europoor shit stain.

>>725151852
It's a place who sucks the soul out of every hetero male.

>>725166557
this

>>725166502
>liability
You mean the emergency exit doors?

In any case, every major store I know has a map of its building so that you know where to go or where the things are.

>>725154952
Topkek

I cannot believe how many of you see a lot of walls and go "IT'S A MAZE, YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT EVERYTHING"
upstairs is a showroom. If you know you want a fucking desk just go to where they have all the fucking desks and write down which desk you want. Don't fuck around on the path, don't look at every fucking item they sell, just go. To. The fucking. Desks.
Better yet, find the one you want online, skip the showroom entirely, walk into the warehouse and pick up the fucking desk you want.

This is not difficult. They don't pen you in and corral you from section to section. Just... think for two fucking seconds about where you're going and what you're doing.

Eat the IKEA hotdogs, so fucking nice! made from swedish cuckfagtraps, The taste is so pure

How the fuck do u get lost in ikea???? it has a pathway with arrows pointing u to the exit! fucking noob

>>725154569
looks comfy tho

>>725154952
You know there is a line painted on the floor which shows you the way

>>725165797
I have heard this actually

>>725166735
yes i mean the emergency exit doors AND the fucking map you little faggot.

If an ikea starts burning down and all IKEA has to say at the court hearings is "well we had emergency doors durr hurrrr" then they are gonna get fucked sideways you little bitch.
It sounds alot better when IKEA says " not only did we have emergency doors but maps every 20 feet that were available to customers showing very plainly the fastest route to an emergency exit."
The customers don't know any of the wiser because the map also serves as a guide for the store.
Don't be an ass you cock sucker.

>>725155525
Køttbular are really fucking nice. In Germany Ikea food is pretty good. Better than McDonalds , Burger king, Subway or other cheap food places

>>725167371
it's not though

>>725167684
Did you hear it from one of these anons that aren't smart enough for maps?

>>725167833
No i heard it from your mother,motherfucker

>>725167997
That's cool man I'll do most of the talking at the grumps session today

>>725168425
Imma eat ya ass

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>>725151852
What else would it be?

>>725151852
Ikea is only a value if your time and energy is worthless.