So /b/, I need your help >Im 33yo. >My gf left me after

>>725021473
just stick to dating, you will find someone else eventually. if you take her back she will just do it again later.

>>725021473
>dated for 6 years

should have put a ring on that finger, probably one of them gals that only want marriage and she got tired of waiting, either propose or move on

>>725021670
we were waiting for her to finish her studies and doctorate, both our families agreed we were going to marry.
But it was better to wait because we were going to live abroad together. Thats why we waited so much.

As someone who has been in a similar situation, take my advice OP. Keep up the good fight to find someone new because the RIGHT ONE will come along. Once you have a perfect relationship, there are no concerns. No drama. No worries. Just happiness and contentment. You have to take the time and pay your dues. I actually met my wife on Facebook. Just messaged her one day, started chatting,went to dinner,and fell in love. It took time though. Yes, from time to time you will still think of your ex, thats normal. Just realize, it didnt work for a reason and its time to move on. Hang in there man.

>>725021740
hmmm in that case, talk to her relatives, maybe they can help clear things up

>>725021623
This.

>>725021473
She made her choice. Make her live with it.

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>>725021623
>>725021780
Thanks, I dont have a lot of time and not like on my 20s and Im actually kind of lost of how things changed when dating girls. I dont really like Tinder but at least most of the girls Ive met said I look a lot younger than my age, so thats a good point because I can choose between girls on their 20s.

I guess I should keep trying, I know at the end going back with her wouldnt be the solution as I will be constantly afraid of her cheating me or lying to me.
But at the same time and after making clear I dont want just a friendship, she is still there messaging me, deleting my number from her agenda and texting me at the back of the new guy.
She didnt want to meet in person. I asked her that a lot of times, and even after 6 years she didnt want to show her face in front of me. That should be enough.

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>>725021473
Just fucking kill yourself for asking relationship advice on /b/.

Seriously, tommorow morning wake up, go in your bathroom and shave with a shotgun faggot.

>>725021473
either get back together with her and fuck her -> then leave and block her everywhere

or

kys or her

And yes, Im looking for advice here on /b/ because I dont have a lot of real friends after a long relationship, and the few ones live far away or are already married/kids.

Besides, I think people here are from every part of the world, and their opinions also help from time to time. Its nice to read people from other parts of the world and knowing you are not alone in these matters.

>>725021473
Listen babe
I made your mistake of taking back an ex for a full year after she left me to whore around.

She played the sympathy and the tears and "I will never love anyone but you please don't leave me again please take me back"

She lasted a year before actually cheating.

Your relationship with your 6 year gf has ended.
It is finished, any phantom relationship you might have after is a fake one just to soothe your hurt. Only it will cut you deeper because no matter how much you think you know her, no matter how strong the bond. Her clit will throb to another guy one day and she will hurt you.

If she does it once, she will keep doing it because she wants other people.

Look she might not cheat on you, but she will dump you and fuck someone else 1000000%

My brother, realise it is over. And start new.

Please don't hurt your self again
I did, and I can tell you my situation is identical because once you take her back it will install in her head the idea that what she did the first time is ok

There is no win win, if you dump her you will feel bad for a while (temporarily)
But if you take her back I can bet you money that she will leave you again.

Please, for once listen to /b/

>>725021473
delete/block her number faggot. Had an ex do this to me for 3 years before I wisened the fuck up and blocked her manuplative ass. Nothing good willcome from staying in contact.

>>725022365
Yes, listen to /b/

Kill yourself.

>>725021473
What you just described is your gf tricking you into a short break so she can get fucked by another guy then text you and lure you back.

Your gf is a parasite and you are being eaten alone. Get out, now. Don't look back.

>>725022365
thanks, at the end I know this is the only way. I actually forgave her a few times with lesser things in the past. She didnt tell me those things and I found out somehow, so I know she can do them again over and over again.

I dont remember everything as I tend to forget the bad memories, but she mentioned something like a "standby" or something like that months ago, around the summer. Maybe this is it. But Im sure I cant go back.

>>725022164
this

>>725022736
You're thinking straight.
Keep your head clear
And find a new one.

Nothing more to be said about it.

Don't rationalise, just be stubborn and find a new one.

Focus on the "no, not going back no matter what"
You can do this

>>725022164
>>725022958

watch out for the edges kid, you might cut yourself

anyway, you should fuck her one last time then disappear completely.

>>725022611
OP again, as I said here >>725022736 I think this could be a break too, I didnt think it that way before but yes, it could be. Pushing me to the limit and wanting to create a lot of attention.

My latest messages were 5 days ago

>Can we meet in person one of these days?
Tell me those things in here better.
>You know its not the same, Im not asking something that hard
Then I just cant, sorry. Tell me what you want
>To talk with you in person, these arent things for telling you in a text message.
So cant you give me some hints?

I left it there because it wasnt leading to any point, she just wanted to know what I want even she already knew it. But Im not feeding her ego until she decides to meet me in person.

I decided to date another girl the next 3 days, nothing special but it kinda helped me.

>>725022057
Well this explains a lot.

Her occasional contact is about her feeling a little guilty for what happened and she checks on you not for your sake but her own - so she can tell herself you're ok.

You need to get over the romantic past-life image you have of her and realise she was selfish and immature. If you had married it would of ended when she soon became bored.

Chicks dig hearing you had your heart broken, and it was the fault of the ex. They know you're genuine relationship material and it gets their panties wet when they think of healing you.

It doesn't suck to be you OP, you're at the prime age chicks go for. You're stable, loyal and fragile because you're not afraid to go all in. Tell them your story but don't make it like you pine for her... be a little busted up but also hate on the ex a little because of what she did.

You'll be soaking in pussy juice before the month is over.

>>725023058
Don't meet her

Fucking drop her cold turkey
She will trick you if you meet in person

STOP FUCKING YOUR OWN HEAD
SHE IS GONE
BLOCK AND DELETE NOW

>>725023312
>>725023274
both of this OP

>>725021473
First of all, accept, in your heart, that your relationship with her is over. Block all forms of communication with her, delete her number from your phone. Delete all your text conversations. Delete her pictures...except the nudes, which you should dump here. Then continue doing what you've been doing. Hit the gym and make some gains. Go out on dates, find chicks who like what you like regardless of their physical attraction just to hang out and become accustomed to talking to girls again. Maybe hook up with some bimbo and blow your sperm on their ass. Then one day you'll wake up and hate the very thought of your ex and then you'll you're ready to move on and share your time with a woman who respects you. It never feels like it's that easy while you're going through it. But it is.

>>725023274
OP here, thanks. Thats what I think too, I spent 2 months without contacting her and she was the first one texting me with "Hello OP", not directly asking if I was with another girl or something but making sure I was still there.
We happened to see each other one night when going out and she hid her face behind her hair while looking down. Natural instinct because she knew what she did.

I guess I should be looking for new girls, there are bad times like today where you question yourself everything, but these replies really help.

Thanks again, Im taking screenshots of these replies.

Hey op, im in sort of the inverse of this.
Dated a girl for around 2 years, she cheated on me, and I broke up with her. When she came back into town, I started talking to her again because I wasn't having any luck finding a new girlfriend, and have set up a friends with benefits thing because it's convenient. I'm not one of those fuckers that gets off on manipulation, but I've been getting off because of manipulation. My point is, from the perspective of a bad person, she's probably trying to use your emotions to get a hold of you and use you, personally, economically, as an argument piece against her new bloke, as a back up.

What she's done isn't something a good person does, She isn't guilty, she want's to use you, and she doesn't want to see you until she's buried even deeper into your subconscious, and she wont really have to convince you to take her back. Block her number, and keep your chin up.

>>725023553
Wake up

You are wasting your time thinking about someone who isn't for you.

You know she's not for you.

You know it

Wake up and walk forward.

Stop giving her control.

Wake up

>>725023528
OP again, thats actually what Im doing again. Doing exercise and dating these kinds of girls. At first I was only looking for 8/10 girls at least and now I just want a nice conversation, hobbies and spending hours talking even if there is no sex. So I end up meeting with 6/10 girls but spending great evenings instead.

One of them works 1 week per month at the CERN, other one is finishing her architectural doctorate, they arent the prettier ones but at least they give me enough confidence for going out again.

Don't turn into a man-whore asshole douchebag trying to prove to yourself you weren't the problem.

> but at the end it isnt enough. Never enough.
I would do anything (besides being a cuck) for be with her again.

It takes about 2 years to get over a major life change ( loss of job / career / death / divorce ).

Just realize you are going to be grieving for a while. I'd ask her not to contact you for a while. She doesn't get to dump you then do this "oh but wait..." shit.

I know it feels good, but she either needs to step up and say she was wrong, or shut the fuck up.

I don't envy you - breaking up is fucking horrible and feels like someone tore off your arm. But it gets better. It always gets better.

Looking back there is maybe 1 or 2 people I wish I had tried hard to make things work... mostly when I look back, I wish I had gotten out of the relationship sooner.

I know you dont want to hear this but - there are a million people out there just like her. And just like you. None of us is all that special.

>>725023657
>CERN
holy shit. that is cool.

Hang in there mate!

This will be a tough journey, but you will be so much better for it in the end.

Time heals man. It might not seem like a possibility right now, but trust me it does...

Im an oldfag too (31) and i have been through it and come out the other end better than before.

>>725023631
Read this every time you remember her

>>725021473
if your getting out of a relationship thats lasted that long you need like a year to become yourself again brah. dont text or talk to her ever again fuck her the last thing you want to do is be er freind

>>725021473
Hey Op, kind of same thing happened to me, GF of 3 years up and left, i was torn up like crazy, it was hard to get up and go out at first, she told me not to wait around for her.
So i didnt, i went out and met someone else, She got upset coz she didnt think id move on.
Now ive been with this new gf for 3 and a half, having a baby and i have next to no strong feelings left for my ex.
There is always something still there but its never enough for it to matter now.

But one thing is for certain, your always gonna have that little bit of hope that things will work out if you keep getting messages off her, you should ask her not to contact you, it can only help you in the long run.

>>725021473
> because I relaxed my ass after 6 years
Oh, fuck off. Relationship doesn't have to be a chore. If you have to work your ass off to make your relationships bearable, you are not a good match.

>>725024364
This.

End it op
End it by never contacting her again

>kill her
>kill him
>kill yourself

Going through the same myself. Basically told me she needs to explore her options before settling down with me. She likes to keep tabs on me and checks in with the "I love you" or the "you're my life partner" crap to keep her claws dug in. Fucks with my head and my heart.

I've grown indifferent to everything because I'm spent emotionally and physically. Loss of appetite, fear, and no longer listening to self preservation instincts. Had a therapy session today because the drugs and booze don't do shit anymore. Bro I'd kill for convinced me to take that first step. My psych basically told me my misery is an opportunity to learn now rather than later she might not be worth it. Better early on than when you're settled in life, married, and with kids. Heartbreak is not something you come back from easily. It takes work, but you find strength to be on your own. More often than not, this will bring her back because they are attracted to the confidence and strength in rediscovery of self. Then you become the one who has a choice. You may grow and be a better person and let her come back... Or shut the door and keep moving forward. But the choice becomes yours.

Helped me feel a direction I can place my first few steps. My night is easier today than it's been in weeks. I'd recommend therapy for everyone.

Side note, definitely appreciating my counselor is sexy as fuck. I'm sure she might not be interested in my basket case shit, but I wouldn't mind a reclined session with her. But, completely secondary to my recovery. Me first, then inappropriate thoughts of my mind doctor.

So you know rationally that everything will be ok in the end...

Now you need a strategy...

You are conflicted about getting her back or not...

What you need to do is make deal with yourself and say that regardless of anything you will completely distance yourself from her and go completely zero contact. You will get on with you life. This period of mandatory no contact will be at least a year and a half from the last time you have had contact. When this period expires you may decide if you want to contact her for whatever reason.

I did this after my last relationship ended and it concluded with my ex randomly after a two years emailing me out of the blue and basically telling me that she was filled with regret and i was the best that ever happened to and she would do anything to be in my life again.

I never responded. It was my choice. That was more than a year ago. I don't harbor any malice to her, but i just dont want her in MY life anymore. She means nothing.

OP again, thanks for you messages. Its nice to read things like this happen anywhere too and of course theres always a way out.
She is enjoying every moment -or seems to- so that hurts even harder because while she is doing anything she wanted, travelling, going to costume parties, having dinners, I was staying at home trying to play some videogames and stand up again because I couldnt work properly anymore -Im an freelance architect, if theres no mood, you cant really create at all-.

At first I thought someone as cultivated as her, -wrote 2 books, 2 degrees, lots of events and exhibitions, nice family in town, and so on- wouldnt ever do such things as cheating or leaving me this way, but I learned all those things dont really matter at the end.

Still taking caps of your replies, they will help me a lot when feeling bad again.

>>725024948
Dont you ever regret about not answering her?
I tried to keep silent the first moment she wrote me but the next 5 days I wasnt able and I ended up answering.
>Why if she thinks Im not there anymore?
>What would she said to me?
>What did she want? Is it too late if I write her back? Will she still be there?

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>>725021473
Block her on social media, cut the connection, live your life and don't look back. I know it's hard, you'll manage. Keep going to the gym, keep yourself focused on improving your life. You've already made her miss you and realise she fucked up, now you don't fuck up and don't get back to her/become friends or else she'll fuck with your mind anyway.

>>725025148
Thats for sure, the first thing she asked me is to become friends. Obviously I said NO. And besides, I know it wouldnt be a friendship relationship, she just asked me that because she wanted to clear her mind and feel free after what she did.
And for her friends "we ended up a 6 year relationship but now we are friends, we are so cool"

She woulndt want to meet even as "friends" so no. Becoming friends with an ex never helps.

I hear the same sad stories too often. Girlfriend of many years dumps boyfriend. This happens because the girl, even if she doesn't admit it, wants you to fucking marry her, but you make no moves. Just fucking propose. Don't be a pussy. I'm talking to guys that have been in 3+ year relationships and already live together.

Women, in general, want to have a wedding and kids. If you're already in such a long relationship, just make the fucking move, if she really doesn't want to get married, she'll tell you. BUT MAKE THE FUCKING MOVE.

Men need to stop being fucking cowards. Marriage is what makes you a man. Women, in general, want to be in submission to their man. They want a man that leads. Be a fucking leader.

>>725025146

>Dont you ever regret about not answering her?

I could have...but it was my choice not to. My life and recovery at that point was getting better and better and i figured that i didnt want any complications/distractions.

The thing is, by that time i had already moved on and had put the whole relationship into perspective. The spell had been broken.

This took a long time. About two years get over it completely. I was a fucking mess for the longest period.

I took the decision to go no contact absolutely and completely because i knew the mental anguish and damage i was doing to myself by keeping the ghost of her memory alive. Day by day, she faded away.

>>725025348
OP here

>>725021670
and my reply
>>725021740

>>725025551
Thats very brave, I wish I could reach that point. Almost got it when I started to "date" a girl a few weeks ago, but she was just an illusion and couldnt work out.
At the end I was lying down on the sofa looking my cellphone for hours.

>>725024929
This.
There is always this bitch that makes us radically change ourselves.

Block her shit. Force her out of your mind.

So following this >>725023657
How do you see about dating average girls, bookworms, 6/10, not pretty BUT lot of conversation, enjoyable times, common hobbies, nerd ones, and so on?
I know at the end I wont have sex with them or maybe yes, but they can help me in going out again.
The only part I dont like that much is being seen with them, or maybe my ex "how low has he become, going out with that one"

>>725021473
If u don't like living then fuck u

>>725025880

Yep man...I been there completely...

There were many hiccups on this journey...

I remember in the beginning i would painfully make lame, retarded excuses to myself to contact her. Everyone told me not to, but i couldn't help myself and did it anyway.

But i realised something. Even if we were to one day to get back together, i would need to heal completely first. Only then would we ever be able to re-form and live a healthy relationship again. I knew that if we got back together before i had healed then it would be the same old shit and things like jealousy and resentment would creep in.

So i guess, you could say that initially i was doing this for her. That was the only way could i rationalise it.

In the end, i did heal...but i just didnt want her anymore.

Keep the idea of getting back with her a possiblity (because it is!)....But not now.

You need to heal first

I know I couldnt be with her again right now. Specially knowing she is with another guy, I wouldnt be able to sleep with her the same way than before. There are people who dont care about about this, but for me its very important, she is been with him all this time.

>>725021473
She is just stringing you along as a safety net. Go to the gym, get built and move on to some fresh pussy. I had something similar to this not long ago. Cut contact and move on otherwise you are not far off being a cuck. Once she realises she's not your priority she will attempt to come back if you are the better man. I wouldn't suggest taking her back but whatever, I'm not your mom

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>>725021473

I'm also 33 and have had major relationships come to an end and know exactly what you are going through and how utterly harrowing you feel. TRUST ME. I know. So do many, many, many others. As bad as you feel others have gone through it and come out the other-side whole.

You say she still texts you? First things first dude. You need to man the fuck up. She left you, shattered your heart and soul and is probably bouncing on some other fuckers dick already. I know it's harsh to hear but you already know it. She DOES NOT DESERVE to have ANY contact with you.

ALL you are doing is letting her wean herself off of you whilst she does what she wants and I bet you have been receptive and welcoming to these calls because every one makes you think that it's back on, right? But no. That's not how any of this works. She's fundamentally broken the relationship. I can see relationships being fixed after a break with nobody else involved but she went full Grass Is Greener Syndrome (look it up) and you can never accept that back in your life.


You need to cut her off immediately. You now become a ghost. A total phantom. She DOES NOT get you use you to ease her way in to a new relationship because trust me this period of sending you messages is coming to an end soon any way. Once she has eased off enough she will cut you completely anyway. Get ahead of the curve. It shows balls and dominion of yourself. DON'T BE A PUSSY.

That doesn't mean that you don't cry it out and suffer (that's a given) but you do not let her know any of that is going on. I can't stress this enough, anon. NO CONTACT. NONE. You will hate yourself and remember this message 3-4 months down the line if you keep being there for her.


Women are not attracted to neediness. It's the biggest turn off ever. Time to go full alpha and cut her out of everything. No social media stalking, no phone calls, no nothing. She doesn't 'exist in your life.

I'm sorry dude but this is the ONLY way.

>>725025689
Well, I hope you've learned from that. That's what I do when I mess up or something doesn't go so well.

Best thing to do in these cases is to move on, completely. Rarely do girls come back, after leaving such a long term relationship. If anything, she'll come back to you, but don't be going after her. She made her point clear already by leaving you. If you come back easily, she will see you as no challenge, as weak. Women want a man that makes a stand and wont let women fuck with them. Women test you without even knowing it. They will then reflect and see if you put up with their shit, or if you will took no shit from them.

As I said. Just learn from the past, and move on. You always come out better and stronger, now knowing how not to fuck up, or what to do. If you find yourself in a long term relationship again, and living together, do not wait a long time to actually propose. Even if the time is not right, just propose, have that ring on her, and plan to get married in around a year. If things come up, you can always move the date up. Just don't let it drag. If you don't make a stand, women won't do it for you, no matter how badly they would want to.

If I sound harsh, good. I've noticed too many men today in that same situation. I want it to stop. And I blame the feminist, liberal agenda that despises men and marriage. It's time that we as men make a stand again and stop rolling over to women.

If you don't see marriage in the future with someone you're with, then DO NOT stay in a long term relationship. Too much attachment will be created. Of course, I don't mean to propose or reveal your true feelings the first week of meeting a girl. You know how the game works. Just don't let 'circumstances' or other people discourage you from making that final commitment to the 'love of your life' if you're already together for a long time.

>>725026809
This.

>>725021473
Might be a cliche OP, but it's true.
Life is short, get inspired.
Women come and go, you are always with you.
Make sure that you are happy.
Get healthy, get a good rhythm to life and start feeling good about yourself again.

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>>725021473
Replace your feelings of sadness with feelings of anger. NWA is good for that. A little alcohol is fine to get into the groove initially, but don't depend on it.

I'm married and I've been there before. Women are cunts. You could buy them the world and they'd betray you for the dark side of the moon.

become a plastic

>>725021473
Posting in a cuck thread

>>725021473
Delete and block her number and move on. Even if you got back together again it won't be the same. Seriously delete her from your life and put as mucb time between you as possible. The hurt doesn't go away but you learn to handle it after a while. Move on, man.

Of course, if that is her in the photo then don't listen to any of what I just said and do whatever it takes to smash again because hoh man that pussy is beautiful.

>>725027299

virgin detected.

>>725025551
Fucking this!! I baged chicks off POF though. Just to help maintain sanity. Lol

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OP again, I get it. I shouldnt get near her.

The problem is when you invested so much time on her, looked for the perfect girl, and you find out there arent a lot of girls like her anymore. I know its what they always say, but finding a girl who is into so many things like me, and being a part of an important family around here, or travelling around the world through exhibitions and events its so hard to find.
I know I shouldnt look for the same kind of girl, but going down from there sure its hard once you get used to that kind of life.
The few girls Im meeting these days are just average girls.

She feels guilty, this is good. Keep pulling at the heart strings. Say whatever you must to get her to meet in person, somewhere private. As soon as she shows up knock her out cold with a brick. When she wakes up she should be tied up and secured to something sturdy. That's when you get the branding iron. Stamp that little bitch so they won't ever forget who owns her.

>>725027993
Unless you're married and have kids with her, she's disposable. If that were the case you're in control and she has the rest of her life to prove her worth and beg forgiveness.

A woman doesn't fuck you over and then have you beg.

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>>725027993

>OP again, I get it. I shouldnt get near her.

Correct.

>The problem is when you invested so much time on her, looked for the perfect girl, and you find out there arent a lot of girls like her anymore. I know its what they always say, but finding a girl who is into so many things like me, and being a part of an important family around here, or travelling around the world through exhibitions and events its so hard to find.

Stop putting pussy on a pedestal. You are in a serious oneitis situation with your ex. My ex was all of those things you just said. They are not the only ones. Believe that you are tricking yourself right now.

>I know I shouldnt look for the same kind of girl, but going down from there sure its hard once you get used to that kind of life.

It is hard. It's super difficult. Our ability to bond with others is powerful and when that's broken it hurts like fuck. I don't deny your pain but what you are doing by staying in ANY contact with her is only prolonging the pain.

>The few girls Im meeting these days are just average girls.

For now. You can't fathom another person being as special as her or even WANTING someone other than her. This is an ILLUSION bro. You got to trust this other 33 year old anon because I'm giving you straight shooter advice.

You need to mourn the end of the relationship like a death. It's essentially the same feelings in many ways. All the things you miss and want to cling on to were gone the day she broke up with you. Life is a cruel mistress at times and this is part of your story now but it's not the end and you can't let her keep scribbling in the chapters to come or the story will never get good again.

Chin up, bro. Act alpha, think alpha, be alpha. Work on yourself and leave dating alone if you're not ready but keep improving and again.....it's OVER don't drag it out. She's not special. But you are to you. Time to act like it and love yourself instead of her.

>>725028204
This.

Remember who dumped who. You owe her nothing; not even contempt.

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>>725021473
Always think for yourself. None of our lives matter. In the end we all die. Make the most of it. Do things you want to remember, talk to multiple girls and have fun

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>>725028641

This OP, all of this.Stop being a pussy and man the fuck up.

>>725021473
That's loser talk. Be a MAN! You came into this place alone and that's how you are leaving this place. Just listen to yourself. She left you, was fucking him behind your back, threw away what you had, and you still think about her? Turn in your penis and BALLS AND KILL YOURSELF.

op is a pussy, she's a whore and he's cryin xD

>>725027993

Remember the /b/tards who write this red pill shit are usually single neckbeards in their mums basement. I had to that cuckwarrior but relationships go both ways. Yeah you have to be firm with a girl in the beginning of the relationship and lay down the ground rules. But after the first year or two mutual respect goes both ways. The girl needs to be praised for this behaviour or it the red pill bullshit leads them to find another dick.

A wise man once said:

"Bitches ain't shit, but hoes and tricks"

Close the book. Throw it away. Time to start a new chapter in your life. And SHE is not involved!

It might help if you can move to a new flat. Toss whatever you can afford to toss. Get rid of all of her belongings! Pretend her shit has bed bugs. She is after all, a blood-sucking parasite.

A wise man once said:

"Baby, don't worry. Bout a ting. Cause every little ting gonna be alright."

There is a lot of good advice in this thread, OP. I'm guessing you will probably ignore all of it. Usually the way it does in these situations.

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>>725030574
no, Im actually saving most of these replies in a folder for times when Im feeling down.
sorry for not answering most of you but Im certainly reading everything.

Honestly, I know she isnt the way to go as I still want to achieve more goals in my life and I wouldnt be happy after what she did. I know I wouldnt be able to sleep again in the same bed and even trying hard to forget everything at the end I will always doubt her or be afraid fearing she would disappear again without looking back.

>>725023553
>not directly asking if i was with another girl
if you were with another girl, you would have told her to not contact you
so yes, you did just tell her you're not over her

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>>725021473
you get addicted to ppl if they make you feel good.

Get over it you faggot.

>>725021473
just don't accept your cuckness, find her and brake her head, next find him and brake his legs.

>>725021740
Doesn't matter. This wasn't a logical thing for her. It was emotional and biological, primarily biological.
DNA doesn't care about your finances, education, or any of that shit. It cares about reproducing, and that's all. Every fiber in her being is crying out to be a mother and have children, and she can literally FEEL that yearning. At about 26 or so, her body is crying out to her to have kids to the point where it doesn't matter what she's doing. If she can't KNOW in her bones that she's on the path to becoming a mom and having kids, she's going to leave you. She can't convince herself that it's still "time to play around" anymore. Not when all her friends are getting married and having kids, or Mom is nagging her about finding someone who will commit, Dad is starting to have health problems and may not live to see her give him a grandchild or whatever.
Theres also the emotional social aspect: to a woman, getting married and having kids is about WINNING, and she's competitive as fuck. All women are. So if she can get a good man, have great sex, make good money, go interesting places, do interesting things, get married, have kids, buy a decent house, and all the rest before her friends do, she WINS. They now talk about HER achievements, are jealous of HER, ask HER about things, compliment HER on her husband/kids/house/etc and so on. That makes her important, powerful, and a winner.
As long as you can provide that, she will stay with you and be happy. As soon as she thinks you can't or won't, she's gone, and you found that out.

>>725021473
Honestly OP, if I was in your shoes and had a snowball's chance in hell at getting back with my old gf, I'd take it. We had dated for 4 years, and I was going to propose to her in the summer, but some shit came up that had happened in the first few months of our dating and she broke up with me. I'm three months out from that breakup and I still struggle to push through to deal with day to day stuff that has to get done.

I guess my overall advice is: from a rational perspective, don't do it. It'll just fucking hurt, you want to badly, and you know it would suck for the first few months, probably be great for a few months/years, then hurt again. From my perspective: try it. See if she's wanting to get back together, and if she is go for it. It will hurt, it will suck, and things won't be the same, but if I was in your shoes I would do so in a heartbeat, even knowing it will likely just end up hurting again.

Also, sorry, I haven't read through the thread so others may have given this advice, or I may just be a faggot who's giving all the wrong advice. Take all advice with a grain of salt. Good luck and god speed OP.

>>725032303
Thanks, OP here, and this advice also helps a lot. It always depends on what you end up thinking, and there are cases where you know you have to take the wrong path.
Ive been doing that for a while, still texting her but with a distance, carefully skipping the friendship or asking common things like how was her day or what she did last weekend.
I dont really know what she wants, as she keeps messaging me but avoiding whatsapp or phone calls, only by sms and Im sure of that, deleting my messages after. Just because the new guy its a jeaolous guy. (After all, she stole her from me with the vulture type "Im better than your bf, he doesnt treat you nicely, I can talk with you 24/7) so thats a starting point.

Time will say.

>>725021473
join an online community, like discord, talk to people, idk its what I did and i met someone one there, its p fun. you also get to talk to these e-celebrities aswell yknow?

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>>725032303

You're 3 months out of your own breakup. Sorry anon but it's not good advice.

When you first got together with your girls what was it like? What were YOU like?

A woman is INCAPABLE of respecting a man that will take them back under such circumstances. They may lie to you about it (in the extremely rare occasions she will come back) and lie to themselves about it but a woman will always see you as the guy that took their shit while they walked all over you. That simply doesn't get chicks wet and she will resent you for it without even realizing why.

This is nature. Biology. She is hardwired to find someone that can protect her and her future children not some sappy little bitch that guilted her in to coming back. It simply doesn't work. Ever.


"But a-a-anon people do get back together, right?"

Sure. It happens but for it to be a success (it almost never is) she has to come back begging to you and she has to have not been bouncing on dick during her break away from you and then you get to frame the criteria for trying again. This is such a rare occurrence it's hardly worth talking about.

No contact is the only way. You are in fight or flight mode and are DESPERATE to compromise with her and bend over backwards because you just want that security and happiness back more than anything.

You're essentially a drug addict jonesing for a fix.

The only way is to leave and NEVER talk to them again. Find a women that will be loyal and if it was you that fucked up learn to fix your issues in the NEXT relationship. Once they breakup with you and fuck someone else it's over or you're a doormat for life. I know what I would choose (and have done)

>>725021473
change your expectations.
dont expect a gf
dont expect attention.

do things for you.
focus on health, fitness, education, being a stable strong and reliable person to friends.
100% there will be interest in you.

get the fuck off tinder
connect with girls in your hobbies but let them come to you.

block the girls number, don't talk to her at all even.

patience, discipline and self control are essential. you'll be fine OP

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>I dont really know what she wants,

I do.

She wants to use you as a backup in case things go south with the new guy. It also feeds her ego that she can lean on you and you will always be there because SHE KNOWS you will accept her bullshit because you are desperate. (women can smell it from miles away)

Your ex girlfriend right now has zero respect for you as a man. Every time you respond to her she knows deep down that she made the right decision. Every. Single. Time.

It wasn't easy for her to breakup with you after 6 years. She was thinking about it for months before she pulled the trigger but it was still a big risk for her. She wanted the nw dick badly but she knows you are a known quantity and the emotional safety is hard to break for her. That's why she sends you texts. She wants to know that she still has you hooked. Once she realizes that she does she is instantly satisfied and can then go a week or two without checking in again to see if she still has your balls in her purse.

After a while she will tire of it and you will never hear from her again until she breaks up with the newfag. But that will just be more emotional vampire sucking until the next dick is ready to be hopped on. You are no longer sexually viable to her. You have proved your neediness by being there after she LEFT YOU FOR ANOTHER MAN.

I mean...I know it's harsh but wake up and smell the roses because you are doing EVERYTHING wrong right now and only hurting yourself. You can't reason her back.

have some pride and continue your life FORWARD not backward

Just don't go back. DON`T. There's never a happy ending if you take her back when it was HER who left in the first place. Keep on dating and my advice would be to meet girls in different places than you usually do. if you always date girls from the same places you'll mostly get similar results. Try new things and meet new girls. Remember:
good relationship>single>bad relationship.

It didn't work out with her so you're clearly in a better position right now. Keep on going to the gym, try new things, make new friends, etc. You'll find a better girl soon.

>>725021473
Quit being a little bitch. Worst things can happen so man up.

>>725021473
Fuck that bitch op.
Call her back over to the house, fuck her and don't text her ever again. Show her why it's like to leave

>>725021473
If you are as shitty at relationships as you are green texting, then we see the problem.

In truth, some people like to claim as much territory as possible, so they can enjoy themselves and have back up plans. Emotionally and financially. She played you, and she is playing the new dick. And she will play you again given the chance. Move on. There are someone women who aren't the epitome of typical.

>>725021473
Fet a bunch of nose sugar, hit the titty bar. And bang out some hot young strippers. Have you fixed up in a week

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Have you ever had the urge to travel? To get out and see new horizons? Sometimes changing locations can make a big difference. I was unhappy living where I was and there was a work opportunity on the other side of the country, so I moved 2000 miles away and my life has turned around. Talk to someone at your work and see if there are any opportunities to transfer.

>>725021473
real talk?
accept that that relationship changed you and made you who you are but dont dwell on shit, wait till you are ready to date again and then go get a decent chick

>>725021473
liar, nobody on /b/ will ever get a gf, or friends, or a life, you attention whore, kys and get a life, oh wait, you're a /b/tard so you can't get one

https://youtu.be/NQsQ_Til8kA?t=11m40s

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OP here

I actually 'dated' 5 different girls since the breakup. 4 of them went kinda well, not gf material but nice companion/friends and whats most important to me right now, great conversation and similar interests.

I just cant be with a 8/10 if I cant talk with her for more than 10 minutes.

>>725033632
And yes, Im really aware of this. In fact I was avoiding her for almost 2 months and because of that she wrote me back first. But with enough of her pride and telling me just a "Hello anon". She still wants to think everything is my fault and she did nothing wrong.

I just fall back again and wrote her this week, but I know the more I avoid her the better I will feel.

>>725021473
stop being a faggot and just do drugs n fuck sluts.

>>725034970
same gril as op

I am going through almost the same thing. My relationship of 5 years ended after she left me about a month ago. I try to stay drunk or high as much as possible cuz its the only thing that dulls the pain. Time is the only thing that will ultimately help. I tried meeting other cuntsand it just feels stupid.

>>725035854
OP here, I spent the first weeks at home watching stupid films and things that didnt remember me her. But at the end I only was skipping time, every night I was thinking of her.

Try to build new memories instead of letting the time fly away. Its so hard specially after a long relationship. I had to come back to my parents house as I couldnt afford anymore the place we both had (and didnt want to sleep or be in the same places).

>>725021473
your depression and trying to get over it will last the next 2 to 3 years

you need to fuck girls now, while you're still in your early 30's, because mid to late 30s sex and hooking up is awful.

the only women left unattached in their mid to late 30s are completely batshit crazy, divorcees with kids and bitterness, or trailer trash.

GET TO THE GYM AND WORK ON YOUR BODY HARD AS FUCK. All below 30 women worth dating want the entire package but will lower a lot of other standards to be with someone with a hot body

start fixing friendships you've neglected because you'll need them

it will make you happy if you run into her in a few years and you're good looking, successful, and have a hotter younger girl on your arm

things that dont work to make you happy

hookers
spending tons of money
drugs/drinking

>>725036147
see >>725033585

>>725036177
Get that shit outta here. Retarded lines like this don't help anyone. Move forward, improve yourself, get better women.

>>725036156
I already realized that. Found that even 28yo+ girls want the full package. At least I look like a 25yo guy so I can always get younger girls for now. I have friends who look trashed at 29yo and that really limits your options.

I dont have a lot of friends right now, but I reopened my FB, started taking pictures and looking for a new and nice job instead of staying at home all the time.

>>725035100
>>>725033632 #
>And yes, Im really aware of this. In fact I was avoiding her for almost 2 months and because of that she wrote me back first. But with enough of her pride and telling me just a "Hello anon". She still wants to think everything is my fault and she did nothing wrong.

that anon you were replying to is absolutely correct, and you seem yo already know it.

as much as it sucks to do this you HAVE to accept the fact that its over and she is NEVER coming back.

she may even try to come back, but she will do the exact same thing to you.

dont let her use you.

and she is a cunt and its 100% her fault for being a shitty human.

>>725021473
It happens. She wasn't the right one. Get her out of your head entirely and move on. You shouldn't be thinking about her 4 months later. Your obsessing, and the fact is that you were wasting time with her and she did you a favor.

>>725023036
Le edgy maymay. What a faggot.

>>725021473
Just take your time, 4 months out of a six year relationship is way too early to be over this.

>>725021473
Jesus, Homey, the first thing you gotta do is BE A MAN! You're acting like your 16. Fuck at the next opportunity, it'll help you pull your head out of your ass.

>>725036456
FB is fine so long as you dont rely on it to heavily to see what others are doing, because just about everybody fronts on fb to make their lives look happy.

just dont look at fb and think everyone is happy but you.

i went though a situation very similar to yours, gf left me after 7 years, i was 33' she was 26.

she got pregnant 4 months after we split, we means she was letting dudes raw dog it and cum inside her basically from the instant we split, great feeling after you put 7 years of work into a relationship

you have to harden yourself the fuck up as soon as you possibly can to make the most of what you've got left as far as time and friends.

your male friends are either married or getting married and will be having kids, when that happens you'll see less and less of them until you're lucky to see them once a year, their wives dont want them ganging around single men, you wont be able to relate to them as easily, and they just wont have the time

>>725037621
thats what actually happened, 99% of my friends are already out. living abroad, family, wives, kids or losing contact.
thats why Im using online dating apps instead of going out and meet new girls, Im not good at doing that all alone.

and your case really sucks, I know my ex is with another guy, only one. it hurts a lot, but thinking she would be dating out dozens of other men would hurt a lot more.

I wasnt ablet to have sex with any of the new girls I met yet.