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So, i've been feeling horrible lately, I'm not functional

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 118
Thread images: 13

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So, i've been feeling horrible lately, I'm not functional on this society, i always do my best on every job but somehow end up having the worst performance compared to everyone else i can't feel happy anymore, also recently i found out my girlfriend was cheating on me and she only stayed with me because i bought her a lot of things and videogames... but now she broke up with me because i found out about it... she even bloqued me on facebook and won't answer my calls.
she was the reason i didn't suicide 9 months ago... but since she caused me more pain now, i decided to suicide for real this time and i'm looking for a quick and way to do it, if i can hide it's better for me (so my family doesn't notice since i don't have a private room,i sleep in a couch) I'll find a way to give you guys something if i decide to take your idea to suicide, i have arround 150 dollars on my wallet right now and i'll just deposit the money on my bank and pay one of you through paypal for the winning idea, i came here because i spent YEARS on 4chan, and i felt at home most of the time, so thank you for that, now i would really apretiate if you could help me with this...
>>
Turn on the gas in the kitchen and stay there
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Bumping so you see this post
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>>724865638
There's 8 people in my house right now, can't do that
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>had/has a girlfriend
REEEEE NORMIE GET OUT
>>
How about you stop being a bitch about it and make shit better. Also just tie a plastic bag around your head and you'll just go to sleep.. forever
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>>724865917
Normie mah ass
i've been here for years and i don't work on this society, need a quick way out, you either help and participate for a chance to get 150 dlls or gtfo
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>>724865997
that's not a bad idea at all... i'll concider it, since i have tons of plastic bags on this house.

and i'm not bitching, the problem is that i have a few traumas and can't really socialize cuz of that
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>>724866445
I've been to the point of suicide a few times but I never went through with it. Things will improve. Your misery is your own, you caused it in your own mind. Your feelings and emotions are just that, they are not you. You are the awareness that of all of these things. Don't let thoughts and feelings control you.
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If u take my idea, buy me a 100$ steam card & another 50$ card??
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>>724866882
I'm not leting the control me, i've been trying really hard for a long time, i wasn't sad when i started dating that girl i mentioned, but i was awful at everything anyways... trust me man, i've tried everything and this is the most viable solution to my problem. either this or some sort of miracle (wich i don't think it's going to happen)
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stop this bullshit bro. things will get better, you just have to do something about. go to the gym. work harder. find a hobby. just fucking do something and you'll realize that there are things worth living for
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>>724867336
can't buy the steam card, but i can let you use my paypal tho, or just gift you games through steam, your choice
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>>724867661
There aint no bullshit here, i can't go to the gym since i'm too afraid of people looking at me there (has to do with a trauma), i've been working my ass for years... how do you think i managed to buy stuff for her? and yes, i do have a hobby wich is editing textures for many games that i like, like League of Legends, i managed to create a full set of chromas for Mecha Zero Sion and i was working on other champions... i've been doing stuff man, i'm not just bored or sad because i have nothing to do... i am sad because i do stuff but i can't do it well no matter how hard i try
>>
I know you want discretion but if youre gonna walk on ice you might as well dance.
Get a piano wire
tie it around your neck
tie it to something sturdy
Stand on windowsill
Glue hands to head (the most adhesive)
Jump
Now everyone will think you ripped your head off
>>
Anyways if you decide to use the bag heres my kik: templecap
I want my $150
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>>724868186
Niki?
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>>724868350
Don't have Kik, i can add you on steam and we talk there.
>>724868558
Name's Oscar
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>>724867711
Nice

Might sound like a huge fag tho but you shouldn't kill yourself. If you have a roof over your head, food on a plate, & somewhere to sleep you should be grateful. If we think about it, people other parts of the world are getting bombed on, shot at, etc. So we should all be thankful for what we have.

But if you really do want to kill yourself, take a bunch of different pills, drink a bit, go a drive or a walk near a cliff or woods where you'll lose your way. You could also toaster in tub, bag overhead while you sleep, etc.
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>>724868898
http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198025485658/
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heroin overdose fo sho
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Not worth it man. You are wasting the 1 chance of life given to you. Why does it matter if you think you suck at everything, that's what most people think about theirselves. If you seriously can't handle things, talk to your family or a therapist. Not worth it to rot in hell for killing yourself.
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>>724869025
I'll put it simple for you, i do have all of that but what i also have is a huge family that has done nothing but push me down... everytime i wanted to talk, when i had an idea, when i asked for something or for no fucking reason, i would get a beat down... they would scream at me, punch me, kick me, harm me in many ways (specially on my bday), they just keep me here because i provide money and i'm too afraid to leave since i don't even know the names of the streets and can't even order a burger by myself without studdering as if the floor was shaking and sometimes even crying of fear...
that's why i want to end this... over 19 years of this is more than enough... i want to end it ASAP
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>>724869728
keep reading my post dude. also yeah i had a therapist but he gave up, i don't know why but he didn't want to keep geting my money
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>>724869176
saved, if i take your idea i'll ad you and we talk
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>>724869386
no idea where to get heroin and also for an overdose i would need a lot, but it's probably too expensive and i would just get real fucked up on drugs and wouldn't die, so bad idea
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>>724865456
Statistically, the fastest and painless method is a shotgun to the head. Ive been thinking of doing it myself and found this or hanging are the best methods.
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>>724869981
Damn man sucks major ass. You seem like a pretty cool dude, too bad you can't move out otherwise im pretty sure more than half your stress would be gone. What do you do for a living exactly?
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>>724870558
don't have guns and i can touch the roof of this house with my hand withouth too much efort, but i might consider hanging in another place
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>>724870867
used to work on a videogame shop, but got fired for no reason, my boss (female) hired a "sexier" guy after that, then i started to work in walmart but it was too stressful and i had a few panic attacks in there because of clients and sup's screaming at me several times, nowdays i'm working on tech support on a call center, for some reason i don't have a lot of troubles talking when i'm in front of the screen, but i still have problems talking since sometimes my boss comes and just stands behind me and watches me for hours, i've told her that's uncomfortable and i get to nervious, told that to HR too but it seems like she's supposed to do that...
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>>724871048
Yea, ive got no guns either. Might consider hanging outside somewhere or helium exit bag.
Another option i was considering was hyperkalemia, which is a potassium overdose. I think if i combine that with some rum it'll be nice and peaceful
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>>724871593
Damn that sucks. Honestly, from what I can see, you seem pretty rad. It seems like you've seen a therapist already, but I must know this-

Can you go to the store & buy groceries by yourself, pay for everything, & go back to your car or whatever without having a panic attack??
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>>724872475
only to the closest store wich is a few steps from my house, can't buy too much or else i start thinking that everyone is judging me because i have too much shit, yes i can pay, most of the time i pay with exact change just so i don't give troubles to anyone.
and i rather walk but sometimes i use public transport and sit at the very bottom of the bus/taxi, i can do all of that but only if i'm using earphones and listening to something at max volume, that way i'm focused on the music and not on my thoughts
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>>724872469
So bunch of bannanas... and how much alcohol exactly?
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>>724873171
Nah, potassium pills. And i haven't thought much about it but i think a bottle of goslings black seal should do it for me, i dont weigh much and that stuff is 70%
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>>724873629
Where can i get potassium pills? do i need a prescription for that?
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>>724873896
Prescription strength is the way to go since over the counter is too weak
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>>724873106
Was gonna say if you can find somewhere near a store or liquor or something where you can get food, water, clothes, & Tp then you should go. You can also do orders online where they send a bunch of food and shit to your house cutting out the socialization part of the process
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>>724865456
I know once I do it, I'll drive out to the most remote location possible, connect a hose from my car exhaust to inside my car and go to sleep. Painless and not messy. Good luck /b/ro, wish I didn't have attachments here so I could do it too.
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>>724874576
Btw, if you do it this way, my paypal is [email protected]
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>>724874464
i would order online, but it's gonna take a while and my family will find out or probably use the stuff i order.

>>724874576
i don't have a car, but if i had one or if i can get one i'll do it, sounds pretty simple
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>>724875171
Get an old one for this method, newer models dont let out as much CO, for safety reasons and junk
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Tall building
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>>724875279
i can get my hands on one of these
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Jump in front of a train? Overdose on pills? Do one of those two in a somewhat secluded area. Pills would probably be the safest bet. Maybe drive far in to forest and overdose there. Idk man. Maybe things will get better... hopefully
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>>724865456
Camping stove and tent required. Put self and camping stove in tent and seal it. (pref air tight) Turn stove on. Allow CO poisoning to take effect
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>>724876363
when things get better on my life, they tend to get even worse eventually, so i just want to end it, will probably do the bag or the pills, they are the easiest
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7-7-2017, this year is everything will fall in place
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>>724876617
i thought about that, and i do have access to a tent but not a camping stove, might get one online tho
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>>724876804
Problem solved. You're welcome
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Some guy mentioned go to a Jeweler and say you need Cyanide Crystals for cleaning or restoring a ring. Mix a certain amount of it with a cup of water. Drink. Go to bed. You black out and as long as no one finds out within 45 minutes you're gone. I would say the chance of the Jeweler being sketched is there.
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>>724876693
Ok well if you actually do it... ill give you my paypal in 15 mins. But seriously consider actually doing it. :)
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>>724877973
wich one was yours?
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>>724865456
For the most painless possible way, id suggest saving that money, and instead buy as much heroin as you can for 150, go find a peaceful place, pop in some earphones and listen to some floyd while you shoot up enough to od
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Sorry lol the pill one
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>>724878125
And then spend the next hour wrenching in pain, in and out of consciousness.
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>>724878012
FUCK I KEEP MESSING UP. i suggested the pill one
>>
You don't wanna die.

Humans are not meant to self destruct. Are you upset about the meaninglessness of life? Well, we've got one, big meaning, and it's to stay alive. It's our entire purpose for existing.

So kill yourself if you want to, but just know that your final moments will be your entire brain screaming at the tiny portion you consider to be "you." Screaming in rage, fury, and fear, because you were too much of a faggot to just get on with your life, like the vast majority of humans have done for thousands of years.

Honestly mate, you're probably just stupid. Don't think of that as a bad thing - stupid people have it easy in a lot of things. Pick something that you don't mind doing and that doesn't require a lot of thinking - carpentry, truck driving, fencing are a few examples - and practice the shit out of it. You may never be the best, but you'll be good enough to make cash and net bitches after a few years.

All you need to be happy is steady work you're satisfied with. As a stupid person, you can be satisfied with a lot more than a smart person can. This bout of depression will pass, leaving a fulfilling life ahead of you.
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>>724878012
Actually you know what, i dont want that money. Dont commit suicide. Its not worth it. Things may not get better but its definitely not worth killing yourself over. Do you have a steam? Or console you play often?
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get a bunch of apple seeds. grind them up and put them in some koolaid. drink.
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>>724878804
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>>724865456
Dont do it br0
Kys over a bitch? Man fk bitches. Cum on their faces they aint nothing. Adopt if u can. Help the human society progress as a whole. I hope chan is there for me if i evwr decide to anhero
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>>724878804
Sofuckingfakeitsnotevenfunny.
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Sneak into Mexico and call out the cartel, problem solved
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Fuck em dude don't waste your time comparing yourself to others, your life is about making sure you're good first, only then should you bother with the other fucks
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>>724869025
take a bunch of pills in a bath full of alcohol in the middle of the woods with a toaster and a plastic bag
do it faggot
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bamp
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>>724878564
simple things dont satisfy me, if so i would be happy right now just by editing some images i have resting on a folder, just swaping colors and shit (that's my hobbie because it wastes a lot of time and doesn't require effort, read avobe) i just need somebody to actually care about me, that girl i met and fucked me up today, she acted like she cared and that stoped me from suiciding 9 months ago, i need to get over with my traumas and start socializing, but i can't since i might get fired soon. so no money, no therapyst, no friends, nobody who gives a fuck about me, so suiciding just looks like a good idea, saves trouble to everyone i know and ends my pain, but thanks for trying to give a purpose to my life.
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>> 724879970
Fuck bitches, get money
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>>724871048
don't try to hang yourself, if you fuck it up it can be really painful

before you kill yourself, try to join the army, worst case you shoot yourself their if its that bad, best case you find something you're good at, and don't want to kill.

if you are intent on being a bitch, get a helium tank, and a mask, and take a nap

also heroin is cheep af, that's why its a huge problem, and if you mix heroin and alcohol you'll die from essentially an OD.

Anyways OP, I hope this is fake, and if not I hope you don't kill yourself, and whatever happens, GL OP, and I hope for your sake hell isn't real.
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>>724878804
I'll do it anyways dude, if i do yours i'll just deposit the money on your paypal.
>>724878808
i heard apple seed were toxic but didn't thought that it was actually truth.
>>724878955
i'm not suiciding because of her, actually she was the reason i didn't do it before since she actually acted like she cared about me for a while, but without her, no reason for me to stay alive, nobody gives a fuck about me and i'll just cause more trouble being alive and depressed and shit.
>>724879234
please explain how do i make sure i'm good, if my problem is that i have nobody, i feel alone in the middle of crouds of people, in the middle of my family while having a party, fuck i even feel alone in my job dude.
>>724879815
don't have a bath tub, also i don't know how to get into a forest, i would love to see one in real life tho, they seem peaceful and i'd like to die there.
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>>724879970
How about you just take this dumb bitch with you?
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please dont actually an hero yourself
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>>724879970
>no one gives a shit about me

My grandpa had a saying -

"Women are like the city bus. If you miss one, wait 10 minutes and another will come along."

Friends are the same way m8. Just start working so that you're doing something, and you'll meet people you like and become friends with them. Eventually you'll be introduced to chicks, who you will also like. Humans are social animals m8, it's the one thing most of us can do to some extent.

>no money
I worked at a McDick's and slept in my car for 2 years. You're built to survive, and when you do you'll get a sense of satisfaction. If you really can't make it at all, THEN you can kill yourself - but you gotta try first. No harm in going on in life for a few more months if the end result is death anyway, no?
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>>724880550
>>724879970
don't know what you mean, that's me

>>724880617
i thought 4chan liked when people wanted to go out as an hero
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>> 724881181
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>>724880530
Fuck other people, if you feel alone, and want to be alone then fucking leave. Parties suck ass I never go to them. Stay inside on /b

Your family sounds like a bunch of dicks, fuck em. At least if you KYS go out with a bang.
Fuck their shit for being dicks to you for your whole life.

killing yourself is retard shit, don't pussy out of life.
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>> 724881655

Wisdom
>>
Eat 4 bananas and chug a can of sprite
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Don't do it mate, seriously that's just not what you're supposed to be doing as a human being. This is my first 4chan reply and I'm really shocked about the stuff going on here, if you're lonely holy shit then let's fucking talk man gimme your contact I'm ready to listen to your story
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>>724865456
Just don't go on an autistic rampage, 1 of those a month is about all we can take.
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>>724881022
read carefully, i can't work with too many people near me, also i'm awful with grills, can't turn one on not even with all the gas tanks and matches in the world.
>>724881396
dude i remember that post i almost shit myself because i remember i had diarrea that day.
>>724881655
Don't have a gun, if i had one i'd be dead right now dude and i wouldn't even bother posting something here.
>>724882451
what''s that gonna do? i can try it right now... i'll do it so if it works you better post your paypal.
>>724882483
Ooh boy, you need to spend more time here, go to /pol too, time you open your eyes dude.
>>724882678
Autistic ramapge?... you mean like go to a school and shoot minifags? nah dude, they'll probably have a better life than me, so i don't want to ruin that for them, don't wanna ruin it for nobody
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>>724865456
You are dangerously insane, you stupid asshole! Stop right the fuck there and don't do anything. You don't know shit about anything, you don't know a billionth of the people on earth, you don't know what it feels like when your son smiles at you. HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU THE AUTHORITY ON WHETHER YOU BELONG OR NOT???

Take your atheist entitlement to comfort and shove it up your ass, and realize that fear is just an emotion. Belong or don't, wander or find your home, nothing that will ever happen to you will be worse than your fear is right now.

I LOVE YOU, ANON. ONCE YOU REALIZE FEAR IS WITHIN, YOU ARE EMPOWERED TO LOVE TRULY, AND THEN YOU FEEL NO FEAR. GODSPEED
>>
>>724884140
did you read all the shit or just this post?

also yeah, i would like to have a son and daughter, but i can't really socialize, so there's that, just read all my shit dude, i don't feel fear right now, i feel alone and useless and i've felt that way for a long... looooong time...
>>
i feel pretty horrible too OP but am still too pussy to jump off a building, though there are tall enough ones nearby with easy access.
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>>724884601
it all depends on your situation dude, just think about EVERYTHING and EVERYONE, think about all of that and ask yourself, "is it worth to keep on going?" that's what i did and i honestly don't have something keeping me here, i'll do it no matter what anyone tells me, i took my decision
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>>724865456
>i sleep in a couch

heck yes
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>>724885397
thanks for the laugh
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>>724883712
breh. if you dgaf enough to kill youself, why not try all the shit that made you nervous before you reached this conclusion. not saying pull a hesse but seriously... take some risks. idk man the world is huge and full of wonders. change your scenery.
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>>724885740
Like what? you want me to go talk to a stranger and break in tears again? i did that a few days ago, if i couldn't do it then i won't be able now dude
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>>724885936
if you break out of that "i dun need help it dun werk" mentality you could actually benefit from seeing a psychologist. also a healthy diet and regular sleep schedule does wonders. please don't off yourself OP. just obsess on something positive for a while. sounds like something a mother would say but believe me dude I was in the same situation. i was shit on by a woman and didn't know how to progress with myself. trust me my dude there is a whole lot of life out there. its a lot more interesting to keep plugging as a depressed person than to just give up and mirk yourself.
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>>724865456
Hand gun or if you can't get one knife and slit both wrists in bathtub.
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>>724884502
Listen I'm 6 out of ten stoned and i dont want to waste my time if you really are a walking corpse. but on the off chance that youre still a conscious being, heed my words. everything youve said thus far is an unasked question, but no one has lit your candle and sent you hunting for answers. thats okay man, that happens. i dont want you to go into detail here. but why dont you belong? why is your future blank? why why why?
You fear the potential future misery of loneliness so much you aren't even willing to live to see how history turns out, or to travel the world, or any of the other things lain at our feet in this life.

Youre going to do that to your own mother? Because youre obsessed with saying you can't socialize? You're socializing here, you're just too low IQ to understand what all this means fam.

Im telling you, you are not thinking right, and are in no place to make any sort of decisions, let alone end your own life, you're making that decision for everyone in your life too. Youve got the fever, and your ego is running your show, convinced that what it feels is reality, and distorting your perception of the real miracle around us.

I'm telling you man. I'm probably more autistic than you. But thats the problem with this sort of label... antisocial behavior is just that, a pattern of behavior, a mental loop. If you change your behavior, well then, wouldnt you belong? do you even want to belong? what is this all about man? Youre whatever the fuck you want to be, you just have to get up and do it. The idea that your life and consciousness is something that YOU'VE decided is insignificant, or unworthy, or whatever is INSANE. You are in no head to contemplate this, and you need to slap yourself in the face a couple times and remind yourself that your just a human and this is just a life.
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>>724886638
should at least make an event out of it. travel to the most popular suicide location: golden gate bridge.
do that shit before they build the net and you get caught like a tuna.
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>>724886836
This man knows. Thank you for putting the entirety of my thinking to a block of text. I'm like 8-10 drunk at the moment.
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>>724886902
kek
>>
>>724884502
>>724886836

So i repeat. You are dangerously insane, you stupid asshole! dont act on any of this shit, have some humility. reevaluate your everything, especially your faith. go on /pol/ and get out of the goddamned matrix. LEARN. THERES ALL THIS GREAT SHIT YOU COULD DO IF ONLY YOU COULD STAND YOUR OWN DECISION TO BE ANTISOCIAL. or you could even learn to be social! search up dale carnegie's "how to win friends and influence people" or his foundation's seminars! they will teach you how to have more friends than youve ever imagined! the only reason you dont know that is because youre AFRAID OF CHANGING. i know that fear, and i know that if you fight through that fear and change something huge very quickly, its like a cosmic orgasm of the soul. all things are possible, you create reality. dont do it you stupid asshole
>>
>>724886316
keep reading, it wasn't all because of that grill.
>>724886638
don't have a bathub, but i could slice my throat and just wiggle in pain like a worm.
>>724886836
you are right, i don't want to see how my future turns out, also i'm pretty sure i mentioned my lack of trouble talking while in front of a computer, i just have trouble talking in person, with somebody in front of me, now about my mother, she doesn't give a fuck, as i mentioned my family caused my traumas.
pretty good speech tho, i'll think about all you've said and i'll decide if i do an hero or if i don't an hero.
>>724886902
not made out of money dude, also i don't have a passport
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>>724887424
first of all, why you insult me so much?
second. i've been on /pol
third. can i get that book (i'm asuming it's a book) online? and if so, how much is it? i'm asking because i wish i wasn't like this, i wish i could talk to people without freaking out and/or having a panic attack.
fourth and last. >cosmig orgasm of the soul
Lmao
>>
>>724887424
>>724888683
Fuck... i forgot how to quote...
>>
>>
>>724888172
well shit man. just don't be a little bitch and harm anyone else in your quest to self destruct. honestly a gun to the side of your head is the best bet. do it somewhere where nobody has to clean your nasty negative brain matter up from their carpet. someone has to pay for that eventually OP. just because you're dead does not stop things from costing money. POST SCRIPT: fuck you if you do it coward. face this shitty world like the rest of us faggot.
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>>724888965
>being this masochistic
>dying a bitter old man full of regret and mad at the world
LIVING THE DREAM!
>>
>>724865456
Reincarnation is real. Off yourself
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>>724889239
you've got the gumption to argue my point of view. you're not ready to take your own life.
>>
Clorox shots on a roof top.
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>>724889434
You got that right. I'm waiting for all the pieces to fall in place.
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>>724888965
Don't have a gun, if so i would've shot myself hours ago, probably even months ago before i met that girl.
now about the suicide method, i'd rather use something that doesn't leave a mess everywhere, i don't want to cause more trouble, just want to end it peacefully so i might just have the pills and go to sleep.
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>>724889657
At least call your friends and family before you kill your self
>>
>>724889657
Please don't do it man. I've run out of arguments. You're obviously capable of having a decent and intelligent conversation (even if its about suicide.). The "masochistic" way isn't all that bad. If you have that little control over your own destiny then why not put your life on the line to change that? You've already submitted to the "not caring about living" approach. I obviously don't know your exact situation. It must be really shitty for you to want to take your own life. I still don't think killing yourself is the only way out. You have to believe there is a form of happiness out there that you have yet to obtain. Like I said before, this world is fucking huge man. I understand you don't have a whole lot of money but god damned dude... at least live it out a few more years. Roll the dice my dude.
>>
>>724890127
called a friend already, he kinda tried to help but gave up and called me a wussy cuz i wouldn't do it, now when it comes to my family... i came home early and i was shaking and had tears on my eyes because of the events of the day, they called me gay and did nothing else than that.
>>
>>724865456
Damn man. Buy a gram of coke and go to a strip club. That might help a bit.
>>
>>724890417
I'll go to sleep. 2:13 am
i'll let you guys know what i'll do tomorrow but right now i just want to sleep, i'll try the "apple seeds + sprite" method that a dude mentioned earlier tho and probably mix some pills in the process, if it works well then that's it, but if not i'll keep thinking about the shit this guy told me.
>>724887424
>>
>>724890679
i don't do drugs kid, and i don't like strip clubs/porn I only makes me think "man, i'll never get someone like her"
>>
>>724865456
Fucker, you don't need anyone to be happy. Reconsider this shitty idea. The only reason you feel this way is because you put others and their expectations first. Try living for yourself for some time before doing this.
>>
>>724890748
i hate you. kys for wasting my time troll ass. i'm gonna finish drinking now. sage
>>
>>724890834
Then fucking kill yourself you dry rag of a fuck. No wonder you want to die, your life is boring as fuck. Now I see why your girlfriend left you.
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