I need professional advice on how to make my cunt of a roommate's

Beat the fucking shit out of her. And then talk to your friend about his fucking whore of a girlfriend

>>724088046
Stand up for yourself. Don't let the cunt talk down to you. Don't use her shit. If you see her using your shit, make a big deal about it. Get a water bottle to spray the cats with if they fuck with you.

Cunts like this will keep going till you put them in their fucking place.

>>724088316
this, if you're a bitch OP, you'll get treated like a bitch.

>>724088046
>>724088316
This op. Stop using anything of theirs and make a huge fucking scene if she touches your shit. Use paper/plastic dishes if you dont want to do dishes or wash what you use as you use it. When the sink fills with dirty dishes, chew the cunt out for not cleaning up her shit. Spray cats with water, mind your own business and bite the fuck back if she bothers you. She'll eventually leave you alone.

>>724088316
I forgot to mention this in the original post, but all attempts at diplomacy have failed miserably.

She's one of those fucking people that just refuse to acknowledge any criticism of them. I could show her to her face, with photo evidence, of all her fucking hypocrisy and bullshit and she'll still find some way to twist it around at me. So its a problem without a solution. I just need ways to make her life shit.

Man up, fucks sake

>>724088687
you cant logic someone out of a problem that they didnt logic themselves into.
Rationality has no weight here.

>>724088687
Put nair in her shampoo

>>724088687
Can't confront her and get a resolution. So I figure, what you're looking for is sabotage and subterfuge.
Beech or something in her shampoo. That pink shit in walls and roofs can be sprinkled on her sanitary products, etc. Get creative.

>>724088906
anything this little bitch tries will backfire. she is much stronger than he is.

OP your only hope is to man the fuck up and stop taking crap. listen to >>724088565

Unfortunately if I take an aggressive stance she'll just sick her whipped fucking boy on me, and at the end of the day it's still 2 vs 1, so I'm fucked regardless of what I do.

Not looking for solutions here, there aren't any. Just ammunition

>>724088046
Jizz on alot of shit she uses
Her Pillow
Her Shampoo
Her Toothbrush/Toothpaste
etc.

>>724088046
I was living the same situation 2 weeks ago but the tension between my roommate and I got lower when I started talking shit and disregard him. Try to go away from this bitch as often as can be. Invite friends at night or very early morning and drink with them. Make her act like a psycho in front of everyone by mentionning a detail about her that you shouldn't say...

Don't say anything to your roommate, but have a different attitude with her and provoke her passively to the point where she will say something that will make her look bad in public. You can't be frontal with a girl or she'll play the victim. You have to make her seem like a bitch.

And just for pleasure, as I also did to my roommate, steal coins or something in her room and piss on her toothbrush.

>>724088046
You're a guest in their house you ass boy. Don't like it, get your own place to live.

Fuck her... in the anus

>>724088687
You can't criticize. Like someone's political affiliation, you aren't going to change minds by showing them they're wrong. Doesn't matter what evidence or logic you use, people will just ignore it and become even further entrenched in their beliefs.

You gotta start with some common ground first. Swallow your pride and agree with something first. Match her emotionally. Once she agrees with you on some things, she'll be more likely to agree with you on other things.

Example off the top of my head: She gets mad at you because you used her frying pan without asking. Swallow your pride, apologize, and then agree with her that people shouldn't use other peoples' things without asking first. Let this happen a few times first. Eventually she'll remember that "people shouldnt use things without asking." It's important you don't ask her to do it. She has to reach that conclusion on her own, otherwise it'll just feel like you're making her do it.

>>724089528
Nahhhhh
>>724089444
Nice Trips But Fuck You Kunt

Not OP btw

>>724089528
It's not the time to play nice with a cunt like that. OP, follow this advice
>>724089403

>>724089702
Depends on what OP wants. If he wants to get back at the chick then yes he should do things that will piss her off like >>724089403

But if he wants to start getting along with them then he needs to try a different approach.

Damn man, I have no clue

>>724088687
Pinprick all the condoms, though that will tether your alleged friend to this hole forever and create a child that will certainly need therapy later on.

If she is going to be a bitch when you do nothing or minor infractions, then go for major infractions. Might as well deserve any yelling, eh?

>>724090000
Oh I've tried getting along, I've even tried what >>724089528 said, like apologizing for things I did even if I didn't mean it, and she always has some issue with me. And if she doesn't she'll LOOK for one.

No I want to make her life hell, let's be clear.

>>724090298
That'd be perfect if she weren't on the pill.

And making the bitch pregnant would make her even worse if that's possible.

>>724090641
>>724089200
Try my way anon it will make you feel better!
Use pubs too but thats more obvious

>>724089021
Now here's a suggestion.

>>724090869
I do produce a fair bit of jizz that just goes to waste...

>>724090784
>>724090641
Sabotage her pill intake
This will hopefully ruin his bf's sex life and further cement her as a bitch
This coupled with minor pranks are bound to make her fucking unbearable for him as well

>>724090784
If she ever takes foodstuff, then do the following
>buy some food she likes/usually takes
>make sure to not eat it yourself
>put some fun stuff like laxatives, cum, meat/shellfish if shes vegan/jewish, etc.

>>724091095
Nice one Anon
(Not Op, Just Anon)

>>724088046

drug her. buy some kind of beverage you know she will drink and lace it with something. then you can create a scene where she's on drugs and being a crazy bitch. better yet, lace the drink with something that will make her a crazy bitch. plant more drugs on her. beat yourself up if you have to, then call the cops. you seem to be kind of a pussy already if you are letting this bitch boss you around, so i doubt the cops would have trouble believing she was assaulting you. you just gotta get your friend outta the house for the night somehow, unless you dont like him that much then you can just drug him too. just a night in the precinct getting treated like a degenerate could put her in her fucking place right?

>>724091095
Oh man I think I got a half chub from reading this. I need to get me some laxatives.

>>724090000
Checked

>>724090641
Well I dunno. I'd say her looking for reasons to get mad at you is actually a good thing. She likes that you're apologizing to her and following the rules, but hates that she was wrong about you. People hate being wrong, so she invents excuses to be mad at you. But I'm just guessing. I'd say just keep at it. If you keep doing good things, it'll become increasingly difficult for her to hold this "bad" image of you in her head. If nothing else, your friend will be seeing this too and will also find it harder and harder to agree with her.

But yeah if you just want revenge then my advice won't work. Follow what other anons are saying and God speed.

>>724088046
>I grew up in a much nicer house than she did so she has some kind of libtard complex against anyone richer than her

you do sound like a spoiled fuckboi lmao

have you tried talking

Once you leave for good be sure to take a shit in that bitches car the night before or something.

>>724088046
Shit in her room ,do it once a month and hide it in new and interesting places

>>724088046
My only proud accomplishment I've had with this is that she actually introduced me to her friend back when we got along, and I've essentially turned her against her just by telling her the details of her bullshit. It sends a tingle up my sack every time I think about it.

If they aren't too tech savvy, fuck around with the router. Randomly have it turn off, clog it by downloading huge files, block her favorite pages.

Make sure to have it "randomly" happen to you too.

>>724088046
Rape one of her cats to death. That'll show her.

>>724088046
So basically you're a house cuck.

>too much of a bitch to afford your own house
>too mich of a little bitch to just deal with it
>such a little whining bitch that you want revenge not to sort it out like an adult


You sound like an annoying cunt OP, you are in their house and yet you complain about their feelings.

Stop being such a cuck OP and grow some fucking balls for once in your lofe you miserable shit.

Roofie your roommate. Have sex with him. Gf walks in. End of relationship. Profit

>>724092927
this is the best idea in all honesty

File: image.jpg (38KB, 750x709px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 750x709px

>>724088046
op i have the best advice for you just let her cats "wander into the oven"

Get a full body morph suit
Gorilla mask
Baseball bat
"Sleeping" pills(Bill Cosby special ordered)


Put on your new gear
cut a hole in suit for your fucking dick
Wait till she's alone and doesn't have any reason to think youd be in the area
Use bat to beat her over the head once but decently hard(just enough to ko her)
Fees her the pills periodically but not enough to overdose
Make sure she is unable to move at all. Super glue her legs and hands before taping and tying them.
Move the body somewhere quiet and outside city limits(crimes committed in the wild are easier to cover up with minimal effort)
Wait for her to wake up
Rape her with your comical garb and knock her out again.(don't let her hear your voice. if you can, you should mount headphones to her)
Clean everything while she's unconscious.
Use Cosby pills to extend cleanup time.
This whole process should take no more than 8 hours and you'll need an alibi to keep your roommate from thinking it's you. Leave her in a different area outside town and return home after showering at a gym or swimming in chlorinated water.

>>724088046
i like to plan shit like this agree to a skype call and we can think of some really nasty shit

>>724088046
and get a bottle of nair and put half a bottle cap of it in her shampoo it will make her hair fall out slowly but if you put too much she will be completle bald and she will know its you