Most retarded moments thread I'll start >Be me >High

>>724087862
>be me in middle school
>never really had a girlfriend
>go to dance
>room filled with about 150 people either dancing or talking
> talking with some friends
>me never having a girlfriend comes up into conversation
>"Anon wtf just go dry hump that girl she's a huge slut I bet she'll kiss you"
> I think fuck it why not
> I actually go do it
> my friend actually lied to me of course
> she shoves me away looking annoyed
>find out she thinks I'm cute but I just ignore her because I wouldn't know what to do if I had a girlfriend
I have more stories about fucking up with girls.if anyone interested

>>724089025

>be me
>still in high school
>never get gf and always stoned
>wut a loser

>be me
>hear of a strange website from a friend
>browse it for shits n giggles
>everyone there is gay and full of cancer
>find extremely cancerous part of the site
>"Most retarded moments thread" "I'll start"

>>724087862
Good shit, just watched that episode again too

>girl writes I love you on notebook and puts it up like a sign to me.
> my eyes are so bad
>didn't have glasses that day
> I couldn't really make it out and thought it was something else
> I later asked here if it was a joke or for real
> tells me it was a joke
Pretty autism if you ask me I should have asked her out. She totally avoided me for the rest of throughout high school. Upsetting because it really was an honest mistake. She must have thought I was a douche

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>be me
>5th grade
>know what sex is
>yet to learn of what masturbation is
>am told to to "go fuck myself" for the first time, of many more times to come
>try to visualize what that means, conclude it mean be sticking your dick in your own asshole
>think that's only possible while flaccid, and I must say something that proves that "I can be hard for all the bitches"
>smugly tell the guy "Ha! that's physically impossible". as if I just ruined any chance for him to be mistaken as an intellectual
>the guy looks at me with a unique expression of disgust, confusion, and cringe
>forgot about it for years until I randomly remembered how retarded I was

>>724089799
Dubs don't lie

This one time I pissed my pants in 1st grade but no one really talked about it or made fun of me.
The other time in 3rd grade I flipped the whole bus off

>>724090137
ive got a similar story
>freshmen year of highschool
>asian chick in my french class tells me that she thinks im cute
>completely spaced out and dont hear, ask her to repeat what she said
>says it again much quieter so i still cant hear
>"What are you saying"
>later found out what she said, avoided me for the rest of highschool and prolly thought i was a douche

>>724091709
Hahahaha sometimes I think we're just meant to be wizards. Like this shit happens to me so much.

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>>724091069
go and tell those faggots that it is easy

>>724087862
im reading macbeth rn too, illinois here