Me mum caught gawkin' at some ol' betty's flapjacks

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Me mum caught gawkin' at some ol' betty's flapjacks on them sleazy telly channels she did.

>be 17
>be in functional family
>one day just get sad for no explicable reason
>porn cheers me up whether i wack or not
>have job and credit card
>still living at mummy's
>decide to actually pay for porn
>use my credit card to buy a view on one of those pay-per-view porn channels
>laying in bed just watching wall mounted tv i got for birthday because too sad to jerk
>sleep schedule is fucked because i stay up all night playing no more room in hell on laptop in bed
>fall asleep because pulled all nighter last night
>wake up to mother's scream
>she had a laundry basket with her
>forgot it was laundry day
>never lock door because it always makes fam angry when they can't get into a room to grab their hairbrush or shoes or whatever
>bedroom door doesn't have lock so it's not like i could have anyways
>"so what's going on here anon?"
>instant mental panic
>i say first thing my brain thinks
>brain thinks about cryptic shit
>i say cryptic shit
>"and so the secret passes through the gate of lies and enters the hallowed halls of the mansion of truth."
>mom laughs, and tells me to remember to put away laundry
>sit there trying to wake up for a moment
>still trying to comprehend how i didn't just get thrown out of house by strictest mom ever
>turn off tv and go to kitchen
>mom is there lightly chuckling to herself
>"h-hey m-m-m-mom, what's, uhh, up?"
>"oh don't worry about it anon everyone's done it at one point or another"
>eat entire box of crackers in solitude for rest of day

parent's understand us, no matter how much they seem like they don't.