ITT: Post weird/stupid stuff you used to think as a kid I'll

>used to think islands were floating on top of the water and you could swim under them

IT'S NOT LIKE THIS?

I used to think op was not a faggot

>>723739225
No anon you can't swim under islands

>>723739038
As a kid I thought the moon was solely responsible for the tides.

>>723739038
I used to think that the "TO LET" sign on empty buildings was supposed to be "TOILET".

>>723739038
I used to think that you would still breathe when you died, my grandma explained to me that wasn't the case when I was about 6 and it gave me a mini mental breakdown

When I was a kid I used to think other people were worth helping over yourself.

I used to think the whole world was in black and white before a certain year

Used to think having sex meant you stuck your cock in a girl and peed inside her

I was a dumb kid

>>723740164
lol, how many times did you get screwed over til you learned most people are selfish pricks?

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>>723740164
A little too real

When I wad a kid...
>I thought indians are cannibals, and prefer children
>Every beach have pirate booties burried under the sand
>things always lurks in the dark, especially downstairs, or upstairs.
>reflections on mirror comes to life at night, so I don't look at it.
>women are mysterious

>>723740570
>>I thought indians are cannibals, and prefer children
they are

>i thought babies were made with seed you buy to a seed seller by doing a draw of the face
>i thought hitler was wrong

Used to believe that the moon was actually made of cheese, swiss cheese to be precise.

I also used to think the moon was following the family car when we were driving at night

I also used to stare at the sun sometimes thinking that I would gain some sort of super power from it like cyclops from x-men, luckily I still have good eyesight

i believed in god

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>>723740888
This.

>>723740866
I'm talking about asian indian

I used to think clouds sometimes following me

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>>723739038
I used to think that being in your twenties meant having friends, lovers, and fun times.

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Hey /b/ i really need help

I think i'm in love with this woman. She told me that she's hungry of my dick. Kissless fag ,tiny dick ... i need something to ENLARGE my penis!

>>723741161
lol, sun and moon too

>Riding in dad's truck
>"what's that button do?"
>"DONT touch that son, that's for the ejector seat"
>seriously thought if i pressed that button I'd fly out of the car and die
>I believed this for an embarrassingly long time

>>723741403
same with my uncle's truck, but he said it's to transform into autobot

>>723741403
plot twist, it's actually really is an ejector seat

>>723739038
> used to think Jesus was a powerful, magic zombie who rose from the dead to take our souls. The best we could do is become his minions to help him capture more souls to spend eternity worshipping him and telling him how awesome he is.

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>I thought i would find a girl that loves me.
>I thought i could trust her
>I Thought i would get a real girlfriend to actually feel and touch.
>I thought i would have sex even after my 18th birthday
> I thought being 20 would be different......

>>723739597
I'm pretty sure you can bro...

>>723739038
my aunt told me when I was about 3-4 that if you pout a lot, a big bird would swoop down and poop on your extended lower lip. from then on anytime I saw someone pouting I'd yell at them to stop or else a seagull/hawk/whatever would come down and poo all over them until I was about 7

>>723741786
Don't give up

>>723739225

I can't tell if you're trolling or just genuinely that retarded. Either is a possibility.

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>>723741786
Holy shit anon you're me

>>723741912
He's right though....

>>723739038
I love old 70's looking photos like this. Feels comfy

>>723739038
used to think a miscarriage was when someones newborn got repleced with someone elses

I used to think that girls had penises too, they were just hiding inside their vaginas

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Used to think i can become vegeta, but then my father left

>>723739038
>used to think music on the radio was actually the band at the station playing live
>used to think when you hit like 60 you can just take your teeth out, not that they were dentures

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>>723742175
real women DO have penises, feminie penises

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>>723742175
You're correct. A girl's penis is hidden inside their vaginas.

>Pic related!
>It's Chyna from WWE

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>>723742613
>woman
>has a penis

pick one

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>>723742613
My girlfriend's peener

>>723739038
>Used to think alot was one word.

>>723739833
What else is?

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>>723742932
that's one of the biggest clits i've ever seen

>>723739038
My little sister used to think that when girls grew up they married their brother. She was happy that she didn't have sisters to compete with for the brother.

In first grade, somehow it came up in her class and when the teacher told her she was wrong. She cried for a week. It was very cringeworthy, but to this day I am very touched by her emotions about this. someday I will do something nice for her.

>>723739038
Used to think niggers were people.

>>723739038
https://youtu.be/ccjofBuITnA

used to enjoy bukkake

>>723743116
that's one of the biggest clits i've ever photoshopped

>>723743116
Probably born intersex.

>plant a melon
>small plant
>next morning a whole melon is there
>get hyped

My dad laughed his ass off while filming me and I still didn't get it

Also wasn't sure if a digital's clock's time would change if you stared at it

>>723743400
That is fucking awesome man. Your dad is a real lad.

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>>723741786
just because i know people like you who have fixed it, here's some advice. If you already feel this fucking shitty, stop caring. Go fucking hit on people, and be more alpha. what's the worse that could happen? they say no and maybe hurt your feelings in the process. medium thing? You get laid. Best thing? you meet the one. It's gay advice but it worked for a few of my /fit/ friends, and even an /o/tist.

>>723743209
tits?

>>723739225
I thought that too when very young.

>>723739038
I used to think girls didn't have vaginas, but just penises that were inside out

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>>723744254
cannot unsee

>>723739038
>used to think that cause male homos dated female homos. But the lesbian took the male role and the male gay took the female role.

>>723744437
care to try that again? kind of hard to unserstand

I used to piss in jars and then put eggs in the jar and hide the piss egg jars in the closet.


I don't remember why I used to do this

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>>723741311

>>723744552
He thought a fag and lesbo would have a relationship and switch rolls, lesbo being the man and fag being the woman.

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>Black woman breastfed chocolate milk

>>723744552
lol, mixed the words up.

That gay guys dated gay girls. The difference between them and regular couples is that the girl takes the male role.

I thought adults were like gods or something

>Used to think that lesbian couples were able to have babies

>>723739038
I used to think that on rememberance day (canadafag), actual soldiers would patrol everywhere, including in our home. at night i was scared as fuck to get up to go to the toilet

>>723741403
my parents convinced me that the emergency flashers button on our car made it grow wings. whenever they brought it up, i was terrified as fuck each time they were about to press it.

>>723739038
I used to think there was a fucking shark below my shower sink

i used to think dolls and teddy bears and shit were actually alive and out to kill you

I used to think raccoons were birds

>>723744819
Same here, fuck I thought I was the only one that used to think this shit

I used to think that gay couples were just really really good friends

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>weird/stupid stuff you used to think as a kid
I went and wasted it, didn't I? Haha

>>723745279
I never heard of a "fucking shark". why would people keep a shark around just for fucking? Some people are weird.

>>723740395
well, basically when you are >>723740164 it becomes that way.

a viscous cycle. so sweet. so sticky.

>>723744254
Well technically...

>>723745468
Ok just shark then

>>723741315
no you don't. just stop worrying about it. dick size isn't that big of a deal unless you're tiny, in which case nothing will help you, save for finding a chick that likes tiny penises.

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>>723739038
getting sprayed by a skunk would kill you/.

When I was in first grade me and my younger sister were arguing over something stupid, and my mom pretended to transform into a werewolf to get us to stop.

I seriously thought she was a werewolf after that for a year or two and thought twice before I would piss her off.

>>723745639
no, its ok. I used to have a fucking dog.

>>723741786
you'll never get a girlfriend if you don't try.

no one is going to stroll into your mother's basement and start grinding on you.

>>723739038
I used to think pussies were on the front of the body like where your dick is.

>>723743209
rape?

>Stomping a slug would release a chemical that would make you sick

>>723745519
the penis is the inside-out one obviously....

>>723739038
I used to think grownups could read kids minds

the first porn i ever watched was two girls one cup

>>723745756
socially.

>>723746108
that's not porn you sick fuck. also wrong thread.

>>723745939
I did too, I thought you could have sex by the guy and girl standing face to face and him putting it straight in.

>>723740880
>I also used to stare at the sun
Kek

>>723745791
There is a weird youtube video from live TV from Turkey where a skeptic confronted a guru who claimed he could fly. The skeptic said, "well, if you can fly, prove it. fly for us now". Surprisingly, the guru attempts it.

He apparently really believed he would fly. And after the weirdness, I think he thought he succeeded.

>>723746108
>Sneaked a peek in a porn magazine when I was 8
>There were pictures of women shitting in each other's mouths
Made absolutely no sense to me

>>723741786
sex is one of the most disappointing experiences you'll ever have.
And i considered my first time the best time

>>723743106
Sun, moon, and rotation.

>>723745279
I used to think there were sharks in the deep end of pools.

>>723744848
I believed this too

>>723745756
>Getting ridiculous piercings made you ugly.

Oh, that is true. NVM.

I thought vaginas were nothing but an empty slit. Just kind of a fold in the skin with no hole. Thought sex was in the butt.

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Up until the age of about ten, I thought we actually were traveling to distant worlds, inter-galactic space travel and we had bases on Mars and the moon.

>>723746625
Sci-fi let down.

I used to think other states were just large buildings. My mother had to travel to another state for a funeral when I was three and this is what I told my father

>>723746462
did you fuck them like that other guy? You gotta be pretty bad ass to fuck a shark.

>>723746682
yep

>>723740312
I mean sex is kinda like that.

>>723746776
Man, I wish. I was never brave enough to fuck them.

>>723746625
what the hell made you think that?

>>723746797
Same here. I used to read about planned NASA projects of awesomeness only to see noting happen.

>>723741311
Fuck dude, don't do this to me

>>723740888
Edgy.

>>723746893
Age and the influence of all the space travel movies and tv shows.

>>723746374
When I was 7 I found one of my dads old Penthouse magazines and I remember staring at a picture of a girl giving guy dome and wondering what kind of fucked up thing happened to his dick.
(Because he had a boner)

>>723746825
as recently as the 19th century, scientists thought this was true, they thought more primitive cultures couldn't see as many colors as we do.

They pointed out that primitive cultures only had names for a few colors and progressively advanced cultures have more words for colors.

What they missed was that more advanced cultures have more words for everything, and lots more words about frivolous things.

Used to think if i pulled my foreskin back too far my bell end would fall out.

Used to think people who died on tv or in movies were really killed and they just were selected and wanted to die, literally used to think to myself they were so young why did they want to die?

>>723746623
Nice feet

>>723746883
I have no desire to fuck a shark.

But I would love to fuck an octopus. All those tentacles exploring your body and orifices as you fuck her.

>>723747434
>literally used to think to myself they were so young why did they want to die?
Are you ashamed of how dumb you were?

>>723745392
What

>>723745939
Was literally about to post this haha.

>>723747549
No i just was a kid and didnt know any better, i forgave myself

>>723739038
Can i get this womens contacts pls, i would like to propose marriage

>>723747523
mm just look at those DLCs.

but seriously... you don't want to fuck an octopus.

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>>723747523
>>723747723
forgot pic

i honestly thought pregnancy was a thing that just
happened to women when they fell in love

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>>723739038
My grandma used to tell us that if we didn't finish our food, the "Food Spirit" would poses the pot the food was cooked in and cover our face when we're sleeping and we wouldn't be able to breathe.

>>723739038
When I was a teen I thought it mattered what others thought about me. I wasted so much time because of that.

Its a big world. No matter what you like, someone in this world hates you for it. Avoid them.

Find people with the same perversions and quirks as you (or people accepting of it), and you are good.

When I was in 4th grade I kissed a girl on the mouth for the first time and got one of the hardest erections I have ever gotten in my life.
I had no idea wtf it was, cock got so hard that it hurt and thought it was going to rip through my pants.

One of my classmates told me it was called a "boner" and I thought that you somehow grew a bone in your cock when it got hard and that if you weren't careful your dick-bone could break any other bone

>>723747859
Lmao.

Grandma trying to create an eating disorder

>>723747549
that would be a silly thing to be ashamed of...

of course when we think back on these things we know how stupid we were, but the brain fills in the gaps with it's own information, so if you were never told or it's one of those things people don't really talk about, you have weird ideas to explain what you see.

>>723747771
wow, nice pussies.

>>723747859
that is fucked and pretty damn hilarious

>>723743372
Or took hormones. Testosterone can cause the click to get very dicky.

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>>723748102
yeah. good luck finding a safe hole for your dick. and those suction cups do not feel good.

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>>723741311
>FUCK
>mfw that picture has my same messy haircut unshaven face and sunken eyes

the memes are getting too real man

>>723748350
memes have always been real. you're just becoming one.

>>723742728
she's dead, so let her be

>>723747796
I can see how you would think that, truth is a lot more harsh lol

I used to think heaven was a physical place in the sky, went on a few planes as a kid to visit family and I would actively look for angels in the clouds

>>723741315
I got a tiny cock, had a loose girlfriend that loved the arousal/humiliation that she was too loose to grip me. I loved that my small cock wasn't big enough for her. We had the best, endless, kinky sex. Used huge toys on her and she put a fleshlight in her pussy when I wanted tight.

Have a wife now that is so tight that even after fucking for an hour, she can barely get 2 fingers in.

Small cock not a problem.

>>723748249
lol
sounds like wisdom learned from experience.
you tried to fuck an octopus, didn't you?

I had an imaginary pet-- this giant black dog named Abigail. She'd follow me around when I was getting up to hijinks and act as a lookout. Thanks to my overactive imagination and autistic hearing abilities, this actually worked. A strong and unshakeable belief in tulpas followed until I was like 13.

I also had this strange idea that people mostly thought about the same things I did, and their ways of thinking were also nearly indistinguishably similar. This led to me thinking that many people were simply cartoonishly evil. I later figured out that most people don't spend a lot of their time thinking about consequences or how other people can be hurt by a lack of care or planning. People just... exist. Doing their own life, living to their own ends. Not being cruel, just generally thoughtless.

>>723747859
Lost

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Canadafag here.
I was a kid when Quebec had a referendum.
I thought if they voted to separate from Canada, they would place explosives on the Quebec/Ontario border and Quebec would float away.
I forgot about the maritimes.

I thought that God was a nigger.

>>723744636
the chinese actually soak eggs in the piss of little boys then eat it as a delicacy

you were sitting on millions of piss egg dollars and you didn't even know it anon

>>723748699
nope. just watch youtube videos

In middle school I used to think Obama was cool.

Good times

>>723748836
and now you know that... god... is...?

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I used to think that god, santa, jesus, the easter bunny, and tooth fairy were all really good friends and would hang out regularly. for some reason I thought scooby-doo would be there too

>>723748976
and now you think Trump is cool.

great job.

>>723749074
A fine black deity.

>>723749080
Wonderful. I like this a lot.

>>723749080
I don't see why scooby-doo wouldn't be there.

>>723739038


i used to think blacks where cool

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>>723742175
I used to actually just think women had penises, I had no idea what a vagina looked like I thought it was just a word for a females penis.
I also thought that sex was when a man and a female rubbed their dicks together
I also thought that when a woman gave birth her her penis would expand as she basically pissed the baby out of her dick
first time I saw a vagina it blew my conception of reality

>>723739038
I used to think OP was a faggot,
but this ended up being a pretty good thread.

I used to think the lucky charms guy was st.patrick

>>723749575
like the different shades of blacks? I'm not sure I understand.

how could a group of colors be cool? I mean, besides the cool colors that are typically found on the higher end of the spectrum.

>>723749179
I don't know. Not that guy, but making the concept of an omnipresent/omnipotent deity have human qualities like gender or race always freaked me the fuck out when I was a Christian. I felt like it made Elohim smaller that they were. I always thought of God like a natural disaster, or something larger than anything I could see.

I think Rumi hit it on the head, in one of his poems, where god's talking to the narrator. "Then Reality replied: o prisoner of time..."

That feels right.

>>723747771
The beak would snip your dick off. I have no interest in doing anything with octopuses

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>>723748858
>millions of piss egg dollars

MY SIDES

>>723739038
Thought someone would love me

>>723746295
Same

>>723749937
humans are so small in thinking that they couldn't even comprehend a being of those proportions. so yeah, more often than not, god is personified with human features. pretty sure they don't even begin to describe god in the bible, but the angels and divine beings that contacted humans are often beyond comprehension (one having twelve faces).

but yeah... modern christianity has devolved into "my god could kick your gods ass" and yeah big guy with the beard and fluffy clouds.

I like the Greek gods, personally... they were fallible, arrogant, prideful, spiteful, tricksters... very human, despite their immortality...

>>723749937
I think that being able to personify an abstract concept makes it easier to comprehend. For some reason, I've always thought that black people were spiritually closer to God (Probably because of Gospel music). The concept of God (whether you believe in him or not) isn't black, but I think his transcendence correlates closely to black culture.

What/who God is, I don't know. But I think the spirits of people are united when they all believe in one being.

>>723747771
>>723748249
>>723748699

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yv2b8u3ZJIU

>>723741329
I remember watching the TV, and seeing the sun following someone else. It enraged me to no end.

when I was 8, I saw a porno and was blown away when the guy nutted. I saw that white stuff come out and I wanted to do it do, so I took an oral medicine syringe full of hair conditioner and pumped it down my weiner and was immediately in agonizing pain and had to be rushed to the ER where a nurse massaged my wiener until I jizzed for real and made all the stuff come out

>>723750652
I like how injecting your penis with something just to make it come out again is the logical next step.

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When I was younger, I always thought that if I did something I wasn't supposed to, my mom would find out if I thought about it when I was near or talking to her, and if I didn't think about it around her she wouldn't find out.

I always thought this was true because it actually happened many times

>>723743234
Oh, my. How very witty and original.

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>>723739038
she can play with my plums

>>723746398
Yep. It's nice, but vastly overrated.

>>723750861
that sounds like some laws of attraction/psychic shit there anon.

I remember several times during recess at school or just while randomly outside as a child, I thought it was possible for gravity to reverse and that everything would start "falling up" so until I was about 7 I would always look for something close to grab on to when I was outside just in case it actually happened

>>723741403
Read that as "riding on dad's dick"

Have I been lurking for too long?

>>723739597
You can't with that attitude.

>>723751167
I never thought gravity would change, but I live out in the country so the school recess area was next to thick, deep woods on 2 sides with giant holes in the fence. I was always afraid a deer or a bear would run from out of the woods and attack someone

>used to think babies were made by peeing into a woman's mouth

>>723748738
Okay, snowflake

When I was younger, I went through a phase where I was obsessed with pirates...

Wasn’t until I was around 13 that I found out pirates were real. Up until then I thought they were fictional like leprechauns or the tooth fairy.

>>723739038
>used to think women had no vaginas, only an asshole.
This was until i was 11 and had my first sex-ed class

>>723752943
No, it's actually pretty sensible. People tend to do their own thing, and don't have to be some sort of ridiculous villain to do horrible shit to others. Sometimes bad things just happen because you aren't paying attention. The world isn't out to get you. It's not going to help you, either.

How do you think that's incorrect?

I used to think girls had one hole for peeing and sex up until 6th grade sex ed. We went over this in class and I was mortified to hear that girls had two holes in the vagoo, the urethra and actual vaginal canal.

I look at at girls like aliens after that until 8th grade when puberty started to kick in, but before that in my mind having two holes down there was on par wit having two dick holes

I used to think everything was made out of paper

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>>723739038
>thought that the bands playing the music on the car radio must be on top of the car playing the music because I could hear them and couldn't see them
>got confused when I couldn't see bands on top of anyone's cars
I promise I didn't grow up to be retarded

>>723743106
The tide is caused by the earth's rotation and is influenced by the moon.

>>723753333
Quads! Don't know if you newfags know the rules, but that makes this post completely true. So, pirates are now real.

>>723754900
yea, when I was young I used to believe that one, too

>>723747897
This

>>723739038
when I was a kid I used to think that christianity was telling the truth

>>723756162
careful with that edge

>>723740570
Shit does lurk in the dark, nocturnal critters like rats and centipedes, and women are indeed mysterious.

I used to think all vaginas smell fresh and were delicious to perform oral sex on. Sadly I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong.

>>723739038
Used to think GMOs were bad.

>>723749080
Steve , is that you? Lol