>be me >work at a conglomerate sales company, cubicles

File: refn up that engine.jpg (74KB, 924x537px) Image search: [Google]

74KB, 924x537px

>be me
>work at a conglomerate sales company, cubicles and shit
>boss starts 'movie day' to incentivize everyone, asks for suggestions for the first movie
>everyone starts shouting shitty ideeas
>"Pulp Fiction!"
>"Taken!"
>I rise and raise my hands in the air, stomping both feet alternately until everyone hushes
>the profound speed with which my legs extended forces my chair twelve feet behind me into the next cubicle over
>look at boss
>"I have a suggestion, hoss"
>everyone's looking at me, they know I've got a good one
>...
>...
>The room is silent
>I say, in a brooding whisper,
>"Drive"
>everyone grows disinterested and sits back down
>I try to stop them by explaining, "no, it's a really good movie with the mass appeal of an action thriller and the european lens of an arthouse-"
>hoss just nods at me and tells me to sit down
>fast forward to wednesday, movie night
>boss comes in with a disc but it's facing away from the group so no one knows what it is
>he plays the disc
>BOLD FILMS logo
>FILM DISTRICT logo
>I know what we're watching
>no one is sitting next to me, can't blame them, i'm an intimidating presence
>boss sits next to me
>1 hour, 42 minutes, and 13 seconds later
>everyone leaves, boss and I are the only ones in the room
>see a tear leave his eye
>I understand
>next day, boss comes in late wearing a fitted v-neck, distressed denim jeans, has a toothpick in his mouth
>see him go into his office
>minutes later, corporate suit goes into boss's office
>the entire office is in suspense
>after my Patek Phillipe watch counts five minutes, hear boss shout to corporate "HOW 'BOUT THIS. YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, OR I'LL KICK YOUR TEETH DOWN YOUR THROAT AND SHUT IT FOR YOU"
>Boss storms out with three more toothpicks in his mouth
>get called into the office
>old boss just quit to become a professional Uber
>get offered old boss's job just because I suggested an intellectually profound movie whose message was too great for him to handle
>mfw