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Okay /b/ I keep this little "killme.txt" thing in my

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Okay /b/ I keep this little "killme.txt" thing in my laptop as a stress reliever when I am sober and am not feeling okay. This is all to myself, just self conflicted and talking to myself. A diary sorta, but I wanna get this out and your opinions on this so. Here:
Edit 2. Again fuck nigga what the fucking fuck lmao uh lets start from the beginning I guess you just needa vent. She wants to stay sober, good yes but 2 days in she feels terrible she leaves you on read for about 30 minutes. She comes back "check what i posted lmao" and it's her slitting her throat. What'd you do, you fucking blow up of course thats your entire fucking world being killed in one 5 second video. You blow up she stresses out, but you take these little things in to account. SHE NEVER FUCKING SAYS SORRY SHE NEVER EVEN SHOWS A SIGN OF REGRET FROM IT. SHE FUCKING TOOK 600 MG OF HER GABAPENTIN WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU FUCKING DO. NOW GUESS WHAT YOU SEEM LIKE THE BAD GUY BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING CUCK. "she's not feeling well you shouldn't even have blown up" shut the fuck up don't lie to yourself dumbass, she's in the wrong this time. SHE'S IN THE WRONG THIS TIME. Is she? lmao, is she.. fuck is she? She FUCKING SHE IS SHE IS IN THE WRONG. SHE HATES YOU. okay fuck wait no why does she hate you shE DIDNT FUCKING SAY BECAUSE SHE DOESNT RESPOND WHEN SHE FEELS THIS WAY AND IS ALREADY OVERDOSING. Fucking fucking fucking, okay fuck her fuck her. Let her fucking do this. Let her make a decision. CONT.
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>>723633798
You've done EVERYTHING you've given her EVERYTHING and she still has these tendencies. Can you blame her? She's got disorders she's literally mentally ill at this point and drug addicted but.. Is that an excuse or reason? What'd you do here, what the fuck do you do here. What the fucking fuck, okay you let her go. You leave her be. She said to leave her alone and to fuck off. That's it, she's not sober, she probably passed out already and that's the last you hear from her, forever or for the night either one. She has a lot of fucking explaining to do. This is up to her, you've explained yourself fully to her too much and too often, it's her turn. Resist the urge to go back and cuck yourself, this is now her choice. Don't text, don't call, don't even check the conversations until she says something. You did everything you could, maybe did it a little badly but you've got a somewhat level head about things and seem normal maybe. All your friends would've done the same. They would've quit a long time ago, you're really deep in to this rabbit hole for her. Lmao because you love her a lot, lmao true but. Yeah you know the buts. Fuck it, END OF FUCKING CONVERSATION. IT'S UP TO HER, THIS IS HER MOVE. RELAX YOU'RE OKAY. Okay, okay okay okay, you're straight, aight dope. you did as good as you could.
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thanks
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this one hits a little close to home
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