>Walk into your house >You find Taylor Swift standing there

give that bitch my mixtape and send her ass packin

Say hello and invite her to my man cave

>>723617582
>realise taylor swift cannot possibly be in my house
>realise that its either a prank or i went insane
>too much of an autist to not make a fool of myself if its a prank
>the alternative option is even worse
>OhNoImScrewed.jpg

kill her for trespassing

>>723617582
Ask her how it felt to steal kendricks grammy.

>>723617582
>>You find Taylor Swift standing there looking at you
>Wat do???

Ask her to take her clothes off and stand still while I sniffed her all over... and licked her tits...

>>723617582
choke, chop, fridge-store

Pull out dick
And insert penis

>>723617582
beg her to sit on my face and use my mouth as a toilet

Tears well up in my eyes and I drop to my knees
>In all 3 of her deep reverberating voices it says "You have failed me, you know that I do not tolerate failure"
Horror wells up within me, I contemplate running, but I know it to be useless. None have escaped.
>It bellows "You know what must now happen"
The tears are pouring down my face as its ribs extend from it's abdomen forming blade like prehensile appendages. There were no stories of this, probably because no one's ever survived seeing an elder things true nature. In one instant they completely eviscerate and impale me, the blood flows from me at an unnatural rate. As my very soul, my very humanity drains from me I have a shocking revelation. What an honor it is to be slain by such a magnificent beast.

>>723617582
ask her what her name is cuz i prob wouldnt recognize her irl

>>723617582
>walk to the house
>from work
>10h
>open the door
>it's the Taylor fucking Swift
>you're to tired for this bullshit
>slap the bitch out of the house like a nigger from the grocery store, that stealing your watermelons
>sit down the sofa
>alone
>open the beer
>watch the tv

That'll what I do.

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this

R͖̻̬͔̥̖Į͕̮͕C͏͎̣͙̥̣̝́͘K̛͔̰͕̪Y̷̡͙̺͔̥ ̷̯͙̀T̵̳͓̠̜̱Í̷̢͕̪̥̝͔̻̗C̵͎̣̠͘K̡̛̝̭̺͇͘Y̶̤̬͜ ̶̧̜̝̰̘̪̦͜T̸̤̼̣͔͙̖͔̰̕͜E̜̰̟̗̯̕M̤̯̫̞̩̜̗̩B̯͍́Ó͏͍̰̫͉͖̜̬ ̡̳̠̩̩̳̬ͅͅŅ͏͔̩̤͠O͏̝̻͇͇̫͓͔̀ ̛̪̭̳̳̮͓̲̫S̸̭̮̼̼̻̩̟͍A̶̡͘ͅI̡͏̱͕̪̯̱̼ ̧̩̰̣̩̞̤̝͘R̢̟͟E͕̪̭̩̺̯̲̖M̧̛̬̫̯̣̳͘B̙͈̕͝Ǫ̧̠͙̣ ̡̯̙͠y̨͓̮͓͍̤͔̱͖o̠͔̗͟͡ ̵̱̳̯̲̩͝I͓͓̤̼̜ ̛̳̫̀ͅb̸̝̘̘̙͇̼͝e̸̥̗͇̩͈̪ţ̸̣ ̤̙̜̙̲͚̰͕͡y̨̘̩͎̪̥̼̖o̴̹̭̜͙̙u͍̲͇͇͉͢ ͈̼̪̮̞͖n̪̠̮͍̯͞ͅị̩̯͘ǵ̱͞g͕͇͟͡e̦͖̺̱͎̩͔͕͟r̢͏͎͕̳͖̲̝s̺̤͇̣̺̗͟ ̨̯͖͜a̷̴͓̭͉̞͉̠͍̼͟r̜̖̫͕̩̙̝̰e̶̟̺̱͔n̩̭̖̟̻͕̻̼̗͘'̤̱̞t̷̛͉͔̺͉̺̖͎̘ ̩͜s̡̗͍̮̼̰̤͙̺̀m̴̲̕a̙̥̜̻͞r̜͔̤̳̠̮͉̖͢͠t̛̼̬͎̩͔͍ ̵͕̦̝͇̮͘e͏̹͚̩̀n͙͙͉͚͓͎͜o̭̬͢u̧͎͈̺͙͎͔͠g̢̣͢h͈̝͔͓̀͜͞ ͕͖̪̣͜ţ̶̜͔̝͈o̠͇͖̖̟ ̡̗̟͎͙̪ͅc̺̹̹̬͚o̳̯̩͇̬̟̺̗p̢̞̠͔̭͉̠͝y̡̠ ̢̢̝͙͍̮͔̤̻̱̠t̨͎̻̮̪́h̩̱̹̲͕͠i̪̩̹s͙̬̠͍͈̫͔̕͟͢ͅ ̢̜̥̬͓̬̺͢ş̷̖̼̻͓h̤̺͠ì̧̩̹͘t͚̘̤̳̙̖̪͢͞ ̴̧̰̥͇̣̟̭̳t̜̜̞͖̪̦͎͜o̯̣̠̮͍͖̖̞̗ ̬̼d͖͙̞͓͖͘ͅe͏̷̹̜̜c̶̨͓̣͈̲͕̗̗̹̭͞o͖̙͖͞d̮̩e͇̠̱̩̬̭͇͘ͅ

>>723619734
Ņ̡̟͇̭̲̯̼̜̳̥̺̪̲͍͉̕ͅĮ̶̡̼͓̙̫͉̲̲̟̭͕̯̙̼̻̜͟͡ͅǴ̸̶̖̜͙̠̯͎̪͘Ǵ̵̵̛̮͙̺̹̤̲͕͔̤͖̘͓̬͔͔̝͇̥È̴͖͉̘͉̠̪͖͖̖̜͈̫͉Ŕ̴̛̤͙̖̩̯͖̫̲͚S̴̡̧̜̘̪̬͢ ̶̨̠̰̭̦́͞͠T̡̡̛̻̮̖̠͚̦̫̪̘͖̖̘͈̻͓O̧̜̯̼̫̲̙̺͇͡U̡̨̲̪̫̹͎̰̭̮̘̙͘͡ͅǸ̶͚̪͎͇͕͎̱͚̯̝͕̙͜͞G̙̘̪͈̮͖̬̙̫̻̼̜̀͘E̶̛͉̬̯̬̗̥̞̩̕͜͞ ͏̭̙͎̣̯͍̩͙̟͉̹̤̠͕͕̝͖́͝ͅM̫͎͎̣̠͔͈̯͇̩̬̙̦̯̠̕ͅỴ̸̴̭̞̭́͡ͅ ̶̠̲̻̱̩̣̪͞A̟͍̰̬͉̫̞̠̗̦̹͕̮̱̥͡ͅͅN̴̛͎̜̥͓̫̝̮͎̪͎̭̻͍͕̝̮͕̮ͅU̙̘̼̲̕̕͟S͕̰̺͍̯̪̙͖̼̫̟͈̜̙̦̮̀͢ ̴̡̱̲̪̤̮͘͠Ḿ̵̳̳̜̬̦̘̜̱̙͓̠͎͕͡Ò͙̞̦͈͝ͅS̵̴̶͚̝̣͙͉̠̱͙͕̝̹̣̘̬͞T̵̡̝̠̗͖̤̪͔̘͈͘͞͞ ̵̴̜͓̼̰̜̮̻͖͇̲͕̗̟̫͜F̶̳͍̖͓̳̠̞̻̣̜̥̘̞̭̥̰͕͍I̴̝̞̯͇̮͢͢E̢̛̫̤̪̼͔͘ͅŖ̼̘̗͖̦̭͇͚͘͡Ć͔̙̼̙͎̝̳̙̟͇͞ͅL̶̶̢̲̞̥̜͍̖͇̟̹Y̸̴̫͎̗̗͙͍͜͝

>>723617582
I'd be like "Ite pal want some tea." and make her a cup of tea and have a wee chat with her, it'd be class mate.

>>723619837
You filthy fuckin bastard. That's someone's daughter.

>>723619995
srry man

>>723619568
my man

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>>723617582
>throw holy water at it
>pull out a cross
>scream "THE POWER OF CHRIST REPELS YOU"
>she melts
>I sit down and play some fallout
>mfw

>>723617582
Ask her for money.No shame I am poor she is rich please give me some money :-(

>>723617582
>implying someone could break into my house
Try again, you fucking casual

>>723620718
your average Bernie supporter

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>>723617582
ask if i can smell her feet while i jack off

>>723617582
spin 360° walk the fuck out

>>723619568
hell yea, make her a bowl of eggs

huggles

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>>723617582
Spaghetti starts forming in my pockets because I'm socially awkward around girls....

Tell her I don't have her money yet and beg her not to have my legs broken.

shoot. call 911. report dead burglar.

pop her implants

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>>723617582
>Wat do???

This.

>>723617582
Tell that stupid bitch to get out my god damn house before I pummel her goofy ass face in.

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>>723623134
>>723623690
I wonder what her asshole tastes like?

>>723617582
Turn 360 degrees and strangle-fuck her.

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>>723622196
You would be facing her....

she wont come back here

and she knows why

>turn 360°
>turn another 360°
>keep turning until she leaves

>>723617582

NUT ALL OVER

>>723617582
>go to the garage
>mix bleach and ammonia rag
>return with rag
>knock bitch out
>perform surgery to remove vocal chords
>most likely kill her in process since im not a surgeon
>do the world a favor either way

>>723625125
>and strangle-fuck her.
kek

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>>723625428
Hyperkek

>>723617582
you again?! seriously?!
Fine... proceed to violently gag and rape her in every orifice
And don't let me catch you around here again!

>>723625007
Probably like an asshole

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I would hug her and say....

I somehow died and went to heaven

Hide the dead body

>pretend she's not there
>hope she leaves on her own

>>723625228
Theres always one

>>723627342
anon thinks she's smarter than us

>>723626122
But it's taylor Swift, her asshole must taste like strawberries

>>723627342
always..

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>>723623870

>>723626512
what did you say about that asshole 'heaven' fuckin troll used to follow me around every thread I went to

>>723617582
freak out and confess my love to her
and then offer to massage her feet

>>723623609

i'd fuck her but you can find hotter girls at the supermarket tbh

>>723617582
>pull out my gun and shoot the trannie for breaking an entering

>>723617582
Tell him that trannies arent welcome here and force him out at gunpoint.

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>>723622196
Right? What a stupid newfag.

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take her to the Olive Garden for dinner.

>>723617582
Say "Imma let you finish.." then cut her head off.

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>>723617582
well, WWJD?

>no, it can't be!
How did you find me!?

I want to fuck the shit out of Taylor.
And choke her to death slowly.
(Not necessarily in that order.)

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>>723623063
She's a high rent sloot hopping from cock to cock writing a song about it as she does. NASTY.

>>723617582
"Get out"

>>723622581
Awww nah you dint.

>>723617582
>walk into house
>wat
>cook her food or something
>let her sleep on the couch if she wants
>kick her out in the morning coz I have shit to do

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Hurrrow Tayrah. Have a sandwich.

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>>723629498

Nothing

>>723617582
Wake up, turn off the alarm clocks, and start my day. That's not my house anyhow.