[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Free Show | Home]

g'morning anon. i hope you slept well. tell me why you will

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 113
Thread images: 21

File: tumblr_o9vno649RQ1v56d2yo1_500.gif (2MB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]
tumblr_o9vno649RQ1v56d2yo1_500.gif
2MB, 500x281px
g'morning anon.
i hope you slept well.
tell me why you will not KILL YOURSELF today.
>>
>>723467153
Because I don't need to kill myself. Nature will do the work for me.
>>
>>723467153

Because life's good, yo.
>>
cause attendance is mandatory
>>
File: tumblr_o5g2kn596m1v375r9o1_400.gif (1MB, 397x464px) Image search: [Google]
tumblr_o5g2kn596m1v375r9o1_400.gif
1MB, 397x464px
>>723467235
true
>>723467332
glad to hear that.
>>723467373
it is.
to what ?
>>
>>723467153
getting some pussy later today.
ask me again tomorrow though.
>>
>>723467153
I have ten bottles of 80% vodka that need drinking.
>>
File: tumblr_ok5sm1OvBN1rlotiho1_400.gif (321KB, 374x271px) Image search: [Google]
tumblr_ok5sm1OvBN1rlotiho1_400.gif
321KB, 374x271px
>>723468250
g'luck slaying that pussy man.
>>723468370
if you do that all at once, you will be dead.
>>
I enjoy living, mate

Plus i start college in 4 days. I won't leave this world without creating something. I want to make cool gadgets and shit.

So, why haven't you killed yourself, man?
>>
>>723468467
thanks bro.
lets hope her husband doesn't find out.
>>
File: tumblr_n4peecoCFN1rwcwi6o1_500.gif (919KB, 500x300px) Image search: [Google]
tumblr_n4peecoCFN1rwcwi6o1_500.gif
919KB, 500x300px
>>723469156
forbidden fruit.
Even better.
>>
File: ouch my face hurts.jpg (8KB, 158x152px) Image search: [Google]
ouch my face hurts.jpg
8KB, 158x152px
https://youtu.be/Ra26qAXkrxI
>>
>>723467153
Because I have a date with your mom.
>>
>>723469392
his moms black
>>
>>723469230
yea I can probably get the will to live for about a month or two off this latest distraction.
>>
Rick and morty season 3, ya shiteatin' tumblrfag
>>
File: dick thumb.jpg (2KB, 125x125px) Image search: [Google]
dick thumb.jpg
2KB, 125x125px
>>723468981
https://youtu.be/SPnohTteETs

I have a skinny penis to pull...and memes to invent...I already created something great...
https://youtu.be/NRFTSh56gEE
>>
File: IMG_3568.gif (1003KB, 220x220px) Image search: [Google]
IMG_3568.gif
1003KB, 220x220px
>>723467153
>I'm married to a beautiful woman who's my best friend
>we have an active and satisfying sex life
>I have three wonderful kids I adore
>I live in a comfortable home, drive a nice car and own both
>I have a well paying job I find fulfilling
>I work with nice people who respect me
>I have a fairly affluent lifestyle but live well within my means
>I'm on pace to retire in my 50s
>I'm in good overall health
>My credit rating is over 800
>>
File: tumblr_oiynbzyhD31vfc7dio2_400.gif (2MB, 400x225px) Image search: [Google]
tumblr_oiynbzyhD31vfc7dio2_400.gif
2MB, 400x225px
>>723469392
please be nice to her.
>>723469434
hey, how did you know ?
>>723469441
cool man, g'luck.
>>723469509
that will be cool.
>>
>>723469156
Why do you want to be some chick's sidepiece?
>>
>>723469729
cause its better then paying for it....
https://youtu.be/yGaAjGEpp00
>>
>>723467153
Stop making this thread
>>
>>723467153
I'm having a nice day, tbh

Btw can you give me source on that gif? Looks like the kind of porn my gf would enjoy
>>
>>723469627
>i have
Have you ever read the book of Job ,son ?
You'll be amazed how quickly you'll realise nothing is yours.
>>
>>723467153
dont really know op, family, firends, some girls..... how about you?
>>
Because I am saving up for a house for my family and so I have a garage/backyard to build a forge/workshop in. I want to make swords and armors. I want to make things that are actually worth something, I own nothing of value and I'd rather make something of value than try to buy something of value, as ultimately, I can spend and spend and spend but it won't bring me anything lasting, something to pass down in my family.
Also I intend on making a blade, using it to behead an ex friend who decided he's too good for me, and then melting it back down and turning it into a memento of sorts. Maybe plate his skull with the metal. I would like to keep the skull.
>>
>>723469893
And he also gets it all back
>>
>>723469793
Those are really your only options?
>>
>>723467153
Video source?
>>
>>723467455
id love to have his dick
anyone jelly?
>>
>>723467455
Sauce please sir.
>>
>>723470104
No, mine is genuinely better. Although it's also pierced so that then becomes a matter of opinion. But size wise in both length and girth, mines bigger. So no, not really.
>>
File: thumb2.png (63KB, 778x475px) Image search: [Google]
thumb2.png
63KB, 778x475px
>>723470023
LOL the first one that comes to mind thinking of you faggots...but really you pay for it one way or another...
>>
Music keeps me alive
>>
>>723469972
He gets it all back because he puts God above all.Luckily God is in charge and rewards him.
If you put your pride before all it will certainly not bring back shit whenever you lose it. So tread lightly.
>>
>>723470176
everyone's dick here is bigger then everyone else for Christ sake its the fucking internet..

https://youtu.be/GMR2itymFW0
>>
>>723467153
Its too much work, im a patient man i can wait.
>>
>>723470356
A little over 8 inches in both length and girth, I've measured time and time again. And according to those websites that compare your dick to the worlds dicks, only 1% of the worlds dicks are bigger. But even if I proved it, it's the internet and everything is false, so...
>>
>>723467153
To be perfectly honest /b/ro, today, I'd consider suicide. I have a Maxillary Breach in my right sinus, with full bony destruction, due to an un-diagnosed sinus infection. I'm on medication, but the surgical specialist who COULD help me, won't even see me, because I don't have $500 out of pocket for his "office consultation" fees. Right now, I am in so much pain, I can barely breathe. Best case scenario, the infection clears, and this problem never progresses further than it already has. Worst case scenario, my sinus eventually collapses, abscesses, and fucking kills me. Today though, the pain is making suicide look like a viable option.
>>
>>723470470
>over 8'' in girth

I wouldn't even want that, that sounds more painful than anything, also no anal ever
>>
>>723470348
Fun facts:

>1. Christianity, Islam and Judaism basically all believe the same things and all endorse racism,sexism, homophobia, slavery and genocide.

>2. Unless the Babylonian gods are divine, the basic morality taught by these religions was already being taught without god. Most people don't want themselves or those they care about killed, hurt or robbed.

>3. There is little corroborating historical evidence jesus existed and none that he was magical. This is not to say jesus didn't exist, most historians acknowledge that Jesus was a real prophet. However, while most people don't have a historical record, someone who walked on water and made the blind see would have.

>4. While Jesus had a good message, it was not original or particularly insightful. Love thy neighbor is common sense and was a common theme for prophets at the time.

>5. Jesus did not renounce any part of the OT. Instead he endorsed it. Matthew 5:17-19

>6. According to the bible Jesus's reason for becoming man was the fulfillment of the OT prophecy and the forgiveness of sins. Without the OT there is no need for Jesus to be made man. Also, without the OT virtually nothing is a sin since what are sins are found in the OT.

>7. The bible codifies archaic morality of 2500 years ago. The fact that most Christians don't agree with the bible's teachings regarding slavery and women being property, speaks about mankind's ability to evolve morality and against religion's effectiveness at teaching it.

>8. Christianity, Judaism and Islam all make scientific claims which have been disproven. All of these religions have a history of persecuting those who disprove these claims.
>>
>>723470566
American detected
>>
>>723470470
LOL right alls that matter about dick size is where you stick it...really....and cup size if ya play sports...other then that..he got us beat....

http://www.miscopy.com/4863/sexual/naked-negro-massive-dick-rummage-through-trash-bin/
>>
>>723470640
Haha it can be painful for the women. And no, there's still anal. She just makes these weird faces and noises and cries a little which just makes it harder
Although literally blowjobs are only the head. It's all that fits in her mouth
>>
>>723467153
i'm a pussy
>>
>>723470659
probably the only intresting post ive read today
>>
>>723470668
Congrats, you've figured me out.
>>
>>723470685
He probably can't get it hard enough to have decent sex, tho
>>
>>723470685
although looks like its swollen from lack of support is all
>>
>>723470797
tbh im sorry for you anon
>>
>>723467153

Because every day you tell me you hope i slept well. Usually i dont but its nice to know some one hopes i did.
>>
>>723470715
I don't think I'd like that, I have a pretty thin dick (5'') and tbh I'd just want it to be thick around 6'' but not much more since I like to pound my gf and it'd hurt too much

But hey, good for you if you still enjoy yourself
>>
>>723470839
Fuckin' Obama. I USED to have decent health insurance. As soon as Obamacare made it mandatory to be covered, my job stopped offering it as a perc. Now, if I were to pay for my own coverage, I'd be throwing almost 3/4 of my weekly pay toward my premiums. I can't fucking afford that, but I still earn too much to qualify for state aid. If I ever met him in person, I would beat the BRAKES off that fucking nigger Obama.
>>
>>723470566
Jesus dude. You should move to Canada. We got awesome healthcare.
>>
>>723471057
Health care should be free everywhere.
Health insurances are subhuman idiocies.
Yes, usa should learn form europe
>>
File: tumblr_o53rqdReGe1twv974o1_400.gif (578KB, 272x200px) Image search: [Google]
tumblr_o53rqdReGe1twv974o1_400.gif
578KB, 272x200px
>>723469795
alright
>>723469865
glad you having a nice day.
>>723469894
thos are all good things to have.
>>
>>723467153


I've been feeling really shitty lately. I've been a NEET since I graduated 2 months ago and have been looking for work since the start of the year but haven't even been getting interviews, just rejection.

I also moved out of a share house with friends into a place with my GF around the same time I graduated. I'm now feeling left out socially from my friends since they don't ask me to hang out since it's often inconvenient for me to.

This has made me pretty miserable and not fun to be around which causes a strain on my relationship with my GF.

She's also pretty miserable since she's unemployed but she's at least got a circle of friends who will hang out with her and she's at least getting interviews.

I know my GF is trying her best to help me but I like my space and she likes constant reassurance, it's a tough compromise.

As to why I haven't killed myself, I couldn't do that to my family or GF. I love them all to much to put them through that. Plus things aren't that bad, it's just a rough patch.
>>
File: 700.hq.jpg (85KB, 1400x1420px) Image search: [Google]
700.hq.jpg
85KB, 1400x1420px
>>723471343
>thos are all good things to have.

>Living THIS vicariously through an anonymous image board.
>>
I wish I had a good reason to live. So my only answer is I am too much of a wuss to off myself.
>>
File: jakkireckless_1460620566707.jpg (61KB, 640x1136px) Image search: [Google]
jakkireckless_1460620566707.jpg
61KB, 640x1136px
Cause Ive got a philosophy paper due at midnight and im too busy trying to figure out what the fuck Plato was thinking when he proposed the tripartite theory of the soul in relation to justice to off myself
>>
File: 1476496350197.png (534KB, 720x455px) Image search: [Google]
1476496350197.png
534KB, 720x455px
>>723467153
I am saving my death for the civil war. I plan to die gloriously wearing a belt made of liberal scalps surrounded by hot brass, a warm gun in my hand, and the smell of gunpowder in my nostrils. Its going to be fucking glorious.
>>
got a third job interview this morning. it pays $25/hourly.

ugly slut wants to fuck me on monday.

maybe i'll wait another week....
>>
>>723467153
Because I have a new boyfriend who treats me like his little boi, cuddles me all the time and helps me with anxiety.
I might dump him because he's 10 year older than me
>>
waiting for Eagles to win super bowl
I might live forever
>>
>>723472026
>thumbs up m8
>>
>>723471926
If your major is philosophy you might actually want to kill yourself now and save years of misery and uselessness.
>>
>>723472231
Gotcha beat /b/ro. I'm waiting on the Jets to win one.
>>
>>723467153

my kids.
>>
>>723472231

I'm a Bengals fan...
>>
>>723472208
Who cares? My girlfriend is much older than me, but I love her & she's my best friend. Sure, there are other fish in the sea, but none of them will be her, that's the point.

Seems like a good relationship. Why you wanna leave.
>>
porn is disgusting unless its a really hot bitch which is like never.
>>
>>723472476
Because he's going to leave the country and never come back in 2 years.
>>
>>723472434
Could be worse. Could be a Browns fan...
>>
>>723472542
Oh.. that makes a bit more sense. Sorry Anon.
>>
File: 1451098809433.gif (2MB, 370x281px) Image search: [Google]
1451098809433.gif
2MB, 370x281px
>>723472273
At the last moment when I am low on ammo with the enemy closing in I will shout "To hell with you commie bastards!!!" and take as many of them to hell with me as I can in a holocaust of fire and death. Not going to lie just thinking about it gives me the weirdest boner.
>>
OK I"m new here, trying to understand the psychology of the internet. Because it seems to have the capacity to fuck us, even if it isn't real. So many geeks that I know make sense now that I've seen 4chan. The pasty skin, desperate expression, maladjusted political views. So who are you?
>>
>>723472679
Do you even ever go outside?
>>
File: 1485304112138.gif (468KB, 148x148px) Image search: [Google]
1485304112138.gif
468KB, 148x148px
>>723472800
I'm the guy that SHOULD be listed on your birth certificate. But your mom just couldn't bring herself to tell your "dad" that she let me fuck her before he did on their wedding night.
>>
>>723472800

leave
>>
File: soundless webm.webm (2MB, 864x480px) Image search: [Google]
soundless webm.webm
2MB, 864x480px
I am not gonna kill myself today because I look better then this guy and im not in South America...

https://youtu.be/Ra26qAXkrxI
>>
Because I have work today.
>>
>>723472100
Dude, is the ugly slut a good thing or are you just listing this as a fact? Asking for a friend.
>>
>>723467153

yesterday I found out I'm being sued so I have work to do.
>>
>>723472971
Like, because I'm new here or so I don't turn into a pathetic waste of space?
>>
>>723473066
Kill the person suing you.
>>
>>723472938
You must be old af
>>
>>723473126
Because your mother's a whore. That's why.
>>
File: 1449447182490.jpg (17KB, 500x601px) Image search: [Google]
1449447182490.jpg
17KB, 500x601px
>>723472865
Every day, I even talk to people, work a good job, do volunteer work in my community, and served in the military.
>>
>>723472346
Nope. In a top 20 business school that just happens to be Jesuit so Ive got a philosophy/theology common core to go with it
>>
>>723473126

so you don't turn into a pathetic waste of space
>>
>>723473180
So this is this whole banter thing that goes on here. I'm bored.
>>
>>723473197
+1 Int for not being a total retard getting a useless degree.
>>
>>723473192
Me too. Except I subcontracted for the military. So you want to kill a bunch of people, eh?
>>
>>723472800
https://youtu.be/xWIAqAwwGDc

yuppers this thread is dead....someone got something better then your momma jokes
>>
>>723473248
I kind of am already tho, tbh. What do you get out of this stuff?
>>
File: 1437752603044.gif (808KB, 207x207px) Image search: [Google]
1437752603044.gif
808KB, 207x207px
>>723467153

Made almost 3k from Bitcoin in less than 2 months, currently only need to work 5 hours for 3 days a week.

Probably the only reason, life isn't 100% shit at the moment.
>>
>>723473474

I'm at work. just here to pass the time. some new fucked up shit here sometimes. a lot of the same material tho
>>
>>723473054
Uhh. Pretty sure the ugly slut is a good thing. Not sure though.

GF left me a couple weeks ago so I'm looking for that rebound.
>>
>>723473382
What a man wants and what needs to be done are two separate things. Were liberalism ever to succeed in ruining the nation with communism I am fully prepared to do what must be done. I would even find joy in it. As would anyone who swore the oath.
>>
>>723467153
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
>>
>>723473300
Thanks man. Ive got an offer lined up as well to join a mason lodge in NYC devoted to marketing and advertising. Its all a bit of a backup plan as my main goal is to work with the National Parks Service. Reason Im in the business school tho is bc, like I said its a damn good school, and because I also went to a business oriented highschool and have had a few good business jobs/internships so when they accepted me they threw so many scholarships at me im at a private jesuit school in a major metropolitan area for in state public school tuition prices
>>
I'm over 30,000 dollars in debt and I don't even have a degree.
>>
>>723467455

Fucking hell, I remember how cute she is but I can't remember her name.
Nobody?
>>
I had one of my top 10 days at work today. i used my pistol and did some star wars shit(welding) and listened to podcast and awsome albums all day. And all my jokes landed and had a blast.
life's cool you know.
>>
File: 8upgUFu.jpg (31KB, 615x767px) Image search: [Google]
8upgUFu.jpg
31KB, 615x767px
>>723467153
I had an exam to go to.
>>
File: tumblr_oa5xfbBv3p1rgsmwio5_500.gif (998KB, 500x280px) Image search: [Google]
tumblr_oa5xfbBv3p1rgsmwio5_500.gif
998KB, 500x280px
>>723474454
g'luck with the exam anon.
>>
>>723467153
PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GIVE ME THE SAUCE

I BEG YOU

I ALREADY TRIED REVERSE SEARCHING IT AND I FOUND NOTHING
>>
>>723469627
>My credit rating is over 800

>wanting a jew rating
>>
File: Francesco_Hayez_020.jpg (378KB, 2024x2582px) Image search: [Google]
Francesco_Hayez_020.jpg
378KB, 2024x2582px
Professionals have standards.


[spoiler]Prime Directive: Suicide is ultimate sin.[/spoiler]

[spoiler]Oh boy did you guys fuck up.[/spoiler]
>>
>>723475264
are you an idiot? there are thousands of videos of porn for free on the internet.

just watch one of those.
>>
>>723475589
Fuck off
>>
>I got too many people I have to kill today.
>>
Not quite there yet, but give it a week or two and I probably will
Thread posts: 113
Thread images: 21


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]

I'm aware that Imgur.com will stop allowing adult images since 15th of May. I'm taking actions to backup as much data as possible.
Read more on this topic here - https://archived.moe/talk/thread/1694/


If you need a post removed click on it's [Report] button and follow the instruction.
DMCA Content Takedown via dmca.com
All images are hosted on imgur.com.
If you like this website please support us by donating with Bitcoins at 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties.
Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site.
This means that RandomArchive shows their content, archived.
If you need information for a Poster - contact them.