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yo /b/, I could really use some advice here. I stopped talking

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yo /b/, I could really use some advice here.

I stopped talking to my dad about 10 years ago because he was an alcoholic, a dickhead and a liar. in that time, he's tried reaching out to me a handful of times but mostly he's just played up the drama by bitching to all of my relatives about how he doesn't know what he did wrong or why he deserves to be treated like this.

well he's been a medical trainwreck since he was diagnosed with liver failure in 2005 and I've just kind of been sitting here, waiting for him to die and it has never happened because he's like a cockroach. but I found out today that his body is shutting down and he's going into hospice. my fiancée is trying to convince me that I should go talk to him before he croaks. he's 1000 miles away and I'm supposed to start training for a new job position on Monday so it's pretty inconvenient for me but she doesn't want me to regret never getting 'closure' later in my life.

what do you guys think? would it be worth it to go see the shithead just to clear the air even if I'm not planning on making amends with him? more than anything I just feel bad because it's caused a lot of drama throughout my family. I had felt like I'd be okay with never talking to him again but I suppose I'm still young so I don't know if I'd question it later or not.
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>>723432626
You should go, otherwise you'd end up feeling like shit later in life and not be able to do anything about it
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also, I apologize in advance for the ifunny watermark. I don't know how that fucker snuck in there.
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>>723432787
thanks for the input.

I did forget one fairly important detail - at the moment he's completely incoherent and being really combative. so there's a good chance that he may just try to beat my face in (I could take him anyway, he's a bitch) but there is also a high probability that he won't understand or retain anything I may say to him.
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oh and pic related is the last time he tried to talk to me (which was actually the first time in 5 or 6 years). he just sent me this. a large part of me wants to be able to tell my children that the last thing their grandfather ever said to me was "dick" through an email.
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>>723432626
My dad was an alcoholic too before it killed him. The ticing really sucks ass, but I would say try to see him. If not for you, then for him and your family. At worst you see he's still a piece of shit. At best maybe you get some closer out of it. When my dad died it kinda just happened, no warning. I say seize the opportunity while you can.
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this is your chance, now you can rape him back and have a drink in his honor
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>>723434076
that seems to be the popular opinion among friends and family I've talked to so far. but I'm not doing anything for him because I hate him. my stepmom and my grandma are the ones that have acted so torn up about me not talking to them but still, if I do it, it's just for my own sake and not anybody else.

>>723434450
I think he was always too drunk for his dick to work, but I wouldn't mind shoving him down the stairs in return
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>>723433384
even if that's true, if you go you'll know. otherwise all you'll have is speculation. even if you don't have lovely sepia tone closure, you'll at least have the closure that you tried.
>starting a new job
>chance he's incoherent
these aren't good enough excuses to not try
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>>723434960
fair enough. I'm still going skiing tomorrow though because he's not worth missing out on fresh powder
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>>723432626
Anon, I had a similar situation. Let me ask you something: Did you ever have any good moments with your father? Even just one? If you answer yes, then you should go.

My dad wasn't an alcoholic, but he cheated on my mom multiple times, ran us into bankruptcy, and abused her (and us)... then made the divorce as hard as possible for my mom.

What people don't realize with these situations, is that although there was a metric fuckton of him being a "shithead", not every single moment, day, or hour was like that. My dad and I still had some good moments, and he taught me some great things.

When he was dying of cancer, he was about 1000 miles away from me as well. I didn't go. He got upset, and started being manipulative like he used to be towards me.

What I realized after he died, as I became a grown man myself, was that he was probably struggling with his death and the life he chose to lead. I could never forgive him for the things he did to us, but I was still his son. I am a man, and I can understand him now. It's too late, and I will never be able to make closure with him. The only solice I have is that the last words I spoke to him were "I love you" over the phone, when I turned his request down to visit while he was dying.

If I could do it over again, I would go. If not for him, just for myself. I think you should go. If you have to ask, then go. You'll feel better about paying your respect to a man who helped bring you into this world regardless of how he chose to live his life.
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>>723435281
aw shit yeah, vancouver?
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>>723435283
OP, listen to this guy. He couldn't be more right. Also, though you're supposed to begin training for the new job, they will give you some time to yourself if you tell them that your dad is dying and wants you to see him. Just do it, you'll thank yourself for it many times over
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>>723435283
we had very few good moments together. my mom kicked him out when I was four months old, after she came home just in time to find him plastered drunk asleep on the kitchen table and me laying on my back in another room choking on a button. after that she didn't hear from him until about 5 years later when he had gotten remarried and when my sister and I went to go see him, we were so excited to get to know him, but he would just dump us off on our stepmom and "work late" which actually meant getting drunk in a hotel room. he cheated on my mom, physically and emotionally abused her, and always made himself out to be the victim somehow. we've had very few good memories but now that I'm older I realize he was likely incredibly drunk during most or all of them.

so if I do go it's definitely not for him. I don't care if he curses my name until the second his grotesque heart stops beating. but I think I will go just so that I know he was told what he did wrong or "why I'm so mean to him."

I do appreciate your input. it's good to hear from someone who was in a similar situation.

>>723435442
no, Colorado, I'd love to be in Canada though.
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Your probably gonna regret it if you don't go op. But be warned you may get there not get your closure he may start into the poor pitiful me shit and how you ignored him. But Atlas if he does that your conscience will be clear because you went and tried to make nice.
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Do yourself a favor and stick with the job training.
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Go. If hes still a useless piece of shit than you waste sometime, but you wont have to live the rest of your life regretting not going. It will hit you hard years later that you let him die without getting some kind of closure.

So just fuckin go.
P.s. Also your fiance will hate you for not going.
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thanks /b/rothers. I suppose I'll call my trainer in the morning and see what I can do to change my schedule. I'ma go tell that drunk loser why he sucks and feel infinitely better about myself when I'm 40.
Thread posts: 18
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