I was watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia last night,

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I was watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia last night, and they mentioned Frank purposefully got himself a tapeworm off the dark web to lose weight. I've got a wedding coming, and I've seriously got to lose the gut I've been cultivating, and I've always given that ancient weight loss ''method'', and I need some help.

I've used TOR before, but I always felt like I'm stumbling in the dark, just like the good old days of the internet where you only really knew about websites that other people talk about. Can anyone help me find a site that sells such a thing? I also heard them talk about Mexican Ephedra, which I could also do. I know about the health risks of these things, but who gives a shit, I just gotta lose 20 pounds and then I'll flush that shit out of me. I'm only 26, I doubt I'll do some irreparable damage to my body, my wedding is at the end of June, so I've got time, so how about it guys? Help me out!

PS. obviously I'll do cardio like everyone is no doubt going to tell me to do, and to stop being a fat ass and work out, but listen, I'm not unhealthy, I just need to get rid of my gut!