>be me >27 >wealthy business owner >vacation with

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>be me
>27
>wealthy business owner
>vacation with wife
>drive through Alabama
>stop by local newspaper
>meet owner
>wearing ratty clothes
>obvious poorfag
>"You look like you need come money, old timer. I'll pay you $50 bucks to eat one of those newspapers."
>man laughs
>"Why are you laughing?"
>"Eat the paper. Eat it or I swear to god I'll buy your newspaper and turn it into an anime fanzine. If you don't start munching on that sport section right now, you'll be writing articles about Naruto till you're cold in the grave. I'm a millionaire, you think anyone will stop me?"
>took the man 42 minutes to eat the paper
>mfw