Sex Prank stories thread (pic unrelated) >with gf >both

>>723271713
Kevin Smith's story is funny

Know this stories fake because if you were both laughing at that no way you are picking up a bitch that huge and carrying her.

>>723271713
I told my wife once out of the blue--that's right bitch, suck that fucking dick. She started crying. Good times.

>>723271957

>manlet detected

>>723271957
5 foot 1? 2?

>>723272036
>>723272063
lol

I wanted to break up with a girl in college, and thought I could get her to break up with me if I moaned "oh Jenny" (my old girlfriend) while she was giving me head.

Instead, she just said, "what did you say?" Then I said it was an accident and she kept going, with more enthusiasm actually.. Until I blew a few hot streams into her mouth.

Moral of the story.. Things don't always work out as planned.

>>723271713
I'll play. I have posted this before.

>There was a time when wife was working away. At the end of the weekends I used to drive her to her rented room then drive back to our flat.
>Driving from weekend at parents
>no sex all weekend - both of us are itching for it
>on these occasions we'd fuck in the car in quiet area round the corner from the house she rooms in
>stop, park up, start kissing
>I move both driver and passenger seats fully back to give room
>she removes jeans and underwear
>I'm in passenger seat
>she's kneeling facing me, straddling transmission tunnel
>I open her shirt (she was braless) fondle and kiss her
>I'm fingering her and rubbing clit; she's breathing heavy and very wet; I'm diamonds
>she unzips my jeans, moves back to give herself some room
>stops suddenly, little gasp, eyes go wide
car was manual with tallish gearlever - she accidentally sat back onto cold gear knob
>look of shock gives way to wicked grin
>starts gyrating hips; hips start to inch lower
>she starts rocking her hips, rising and falling a little, smiling eyes locked onto mine - gearlever starts to slowly vanish from view
>I watch, fascinated, as she gently works the gearlever into herself, biting her lip and softly moaning - best floorshow ever
>eventually she's virtually sitting on her haunches, gearlever fully home, hips slowly and gently moving
>smiles at me wickedly, softly breathes "mmmm, well this will do for me, now for you" and begins to stroke my rock-hard dick
>After a show like that I come in seconds, and she then proceeds to steadily and methodically fuck herself to two orgasms on my gear lever.
>when she's finished and has her breath back she slowly rises and disengages from my car
>She kisses me and with a grin says "I've always liked this car"
>she puts on her jeans, pockets her underwear, picks up her overnight bags
>leans in through window, smiles and says "Careful you don't lose your grip when you change gear" then skips off to her rooms

File: 250304_04big.jpg (171KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

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>>723271713
alright well, second story

>planned a romantic night in with her
>cooked dinner, watched a movie, candles, etc. all that shit
>put on a romantic playlist of music to listen to while we have sex
>hidden amongst all the slow songs there was some dubstep song
>think it was called "haunted" or something like that, dont listen to that stuff so i dont remember
>Song starts while we're having sex
>wait for the drop
>start having seisure-sex in time with the music
>a full 5 seconds go by with her frozen with a "what the fuck" look on her face
>then she laughs and goes along with it and then fucking outdoes me with the rhythm timing
>She orgasms hard and does her best to pull the most fucked up expression she can
>I keep laughing and cant finish
>afterwards she looks at me and whispers "I won"
>cant even be mad, was still too busy laughing