/b/ Today was the day. I finally gave up on life. It wasn't

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/b/ Today was the day. I finally gave up on life. It wasn't the worst day ever, but I give up on human life. I hate the idea of it, I know I can't succeed at it, and I have absolute hateful malice for those who do succeed and have a normal life. And don't give me the whole "normality is an illusion" bullshit. I know normal is a thing. I wish I was born a normal human, with a normal life. Instead, after 18 years of existence, I've realized I was born with a "the universe is out to get me" mentality. Whether it is or not, I know it's not good to feel that way. But no matter how hard I try in life, and no matter how many times I get back up, it's the same thing over again. Every time. I merely exist in life. Do nothing about the life God gave me. I have become a monster, a hollow shell of a human. I am what I feared as a child. I have become an extremely mentally-ill, very violent, psychopathic thug. I hate human life. I want to see the world fill with fire when we start a nuclear war. I just hate life, and everyone in it. Humanity has lied to me and cast me out, and acts confused when I am violent, like it doesn't realize it is the reason I'm like this. They lie, saying "it gets better," or "it's not that bad." I hate hearing it. I have terrible luck with everything. I try being perfect for girls, and taking as much advice, and acting on it. But it never works at all. I hate being called the things I'm called. "Gay," "fucker," "retard," "ugly," "autistic," "rapist," "school shooter," "virgin," "creepy," all that. Whether it's from schoolmates or my own family, I hate it. I hate the human race, and I just want off this ride. Say what you want about me in the thread, I don't care. I just wanted to be normal.