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Greetings, /B/ users. It is I, Jesus. Ask for advice or answers

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 91
Thread images: 8

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Greetings, /B/ users. It is I, Jesus. Ask for advice or answers to your question and I shall reply to them with the truth.
>>
>>722993935
Fucking kike
>>
pfft your not jesus OP im jesus you newfag >>722993935
>>
>>722994261
i have proofs
>>
If i throw a no to the side of thing would that not think in every time i do it?
>>
>>722994261
No, my child. I am Jesus.
>>
>>722994261
and i don't give advice anymore cause your all faggots and never listen anyway.
>>
>>722994305
I'm afraid I do not understand your question.
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>>722994360
post pic then fag
>>
>>722993935
You're not jesus, you're just an image i see on all those cheap, smelly, tacky candles you get at Wal Mart.
>>
>>722994360
and there will be many imposters and such and eat shit but ye will know me when i come cause i shall stand out like a weed. fucking imposters go nek yourself im jesus
>>
>>722994468
I AM Jesus, my son.
>>
Fine Jesus Allow me. What should Your Flock do with the very people who Murdered you. The Tribes Of Beni Israel.
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>>722993935
do the tower of salt thing fam
do it do it
>>
>>722994605
Forgive them, my son. We forgive them. For a sinner's faults are not his own.
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>>722994605
real jewsus hear kill thta netanewhuew faggot for starters
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>>722994697
shut up stoopid imposter
>>
>>722993935
If you're so powerful, why don't you exist?
>>
>>722994697
you just say stoopid shit you think i would say afggot Im a normail person who says i wouldnt want revenge u faggots
>>
>>722994769
I am not an imposter, my son.
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>>722994820
I do exist, my son. I simply choose not to reveal myself to the world.
>>
whats wrong with being gay?
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>>722994869
yes you are. here is a pic of me the real jesus now shut the fuck up
>>
>>722994970
There is nothing wrong with being gay. All men are different and we must learn to accept that.
>>
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>>722995050
and this is my pet kangaroo
>>
>>722993935
how to get your job?
>>
>>722995050
You seem to be confused, my son. Please allow me to heal you.
>>
>>722995169
you faggots are all retards thats how
>>
>>722995169
I'm afraid there is no way you can become as I am. However, devoting your life to Christ is a close second.
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>>722995219
ill FUCKING STAB U CUNT I WAS NEVER EVEN CRUCIFIED YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT NIGGA ILL EAT YOUR DICK OFF
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>>722995219
POST A PIC OF YOURSELF CUNT ILL FUCKING RAPE YOU
>>
>>722995318
how bout u devote your life to me instead?
>>
>>722995219
COME TO AUSTRALIA CUNT ILL FUCKING EAT YOUR FACE CUNT LIEING CUNT YOU DONT KNOW SHIT YOU NEVER DID YOU FUCKING AIDS EBOILA FAGGGOT
>>
>>722995470
I do devote my life to you, my son. You and all people of this world.
>>
>>722993935
Is liking futa gay?
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>>722995624
great. I need a small loan of a million dollars to start up some businesses. Deliver. Now.
>>
>>722995661
Yes, my son. Desiring the male genitalia is a homosexual act.
>>
>>722995624
YOU SOUND LIKE AN IDIOT fucking poser pretending to be all holy n shit
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>>722995721
I am not charitable, my son. The money you desire must be made from your own effort.
>>
>>722995730
Does that mean that a futa-liking grill would be straight?
>>
Dear Jesus. How do I become Rich & Famous? With Love / Josh
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>>722995837
Yes, a woman enjoying that would be straight.
>>
>>722995819
so wtf r u good for, then u fuck? Is getting nailed to a cross the max power lvl u got?
>>
>>722995876
Through hard work, determination, and devotion to yourself, you can achieve success.
>>
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>>722995973
Thanks Jesus, I am now enlightened.
>>
>>722995837
Futa is less gay then straight porn.
Man + Woman = 50% gay
Futa + Woman = 25% gay
Since lesbian is 100% gay, Futa x Women is the closest we can come to achieveing 100% heterosexual porn
>>
>>722995819
what are the lesson YOU have Learned on EARTH faggot. what is the structure of the universe ? have you even taken mushrooms cunt. have you even seen the white abyss?
>>
How do I get 5 consecutive dubs?
>>
>>722996049
I am glad I could help, my son.
>>
Thank you lord, May peace & wonderment be with you! Heal the world <3 / Josh
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>>722996090
If that is what you believe, then continue to believe that, my son.
>>
>>722996129
Through chance, my son.
>>
>>722996221
I am glad I could help.
>>
>>722996226
hes not your son you moron. Just adding "my son" to the end of a sentence and saying some gay shit doesn't make u sound like Jesus you BLASPHEMING HEAP OF SHIT
>>
>>722996413
Please calm down, my son. Let us have a formal conversation.
>>
>>722993935
I WILL RAPE YOU IN YOUR DREAMS OP ~ real Jesus
>>
>>722996500
i will formally shove my GLOWING GODLY COCK STRAIGHT UP YOUR LIEING ASS HOLE OP
>>
>>722996514
Hohoho! I am true Jesus, my son. Do not deny what you truly are.
>>
>>722996413
Shut up you inbreaded non believer!! Satan can come & butcher you and cut off your head and drink your blood and rape your family infront of you!! Jesus is the answer! Don't be stupid don't be stupid don't be stupid, Get your head in the game!
>>
>>722996612
OK FINE I'M LUCIFER BUT I'M ALSO JESUS
>>
>all these edgy teenagers latching out
Why can't you sympathize with Jesus life? You don't have to believe it's all real but you can't deny there's things you could learn from him
>>
>>722996623
Satan is not real dip shit
>>
>>722996623
>>722996723
Why do you continue to deny your true selves? We are all individuals.
>>
Jeasus how do I get a gf I'm attractive enough skinny almost never rude and girls pass right by thanks/zane
>>
>>722996777
see the trips show the truth faggot
>>
>>722996768
I thank you for your support, my son.
>>
>>722993935
They call me Cuban Pete. I'm the king of the rhumba beat.
When I play the maracas I go chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky boom
Yes sir, I'm Cuban Pete. I'm the craze of my native street.
When I start to dance, everything goes chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky boom

The senoritas they sing and how they swing with this rumbero,
It's very nice, so full of spice.
And when they're dancing they bring a happy ring the maraquero,
El maraquero singin' a song, all the day long.

Chorus:
So if you like the beat, take a lesson from Cuban Pete
And I'll teach you to chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky-boom.

Bridge (Female Solo)

He's really a modest guy, although he's the hottest guy
In Havana, in Havana.

Verse 2 (Male Solo)

Si, senorita I know that you would like to chicky-boom-chick
It's very nice, so full of spice.
I'll place my hand on your hip, and if you will just give me your hand
Then we shall try - just you and I. Aye-aye-aye!

So if you like the beat, take a lesson from Cuban Pete
And I'll teach you chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky-boom

Shake Your Booty, Daddy, Wow!
See ya!
>>
>>722996777
OH YEAH HE'S NOT!?!? Then why do every living thing die??? And where do we go once we die!? Explain that Mr. I'm inbread but still claim to know everything. Fucking fucktard wiitard!
>>
>>722996812
Speak to them, try to understand who They are, and be friendly. However, you must also be civil.
>>
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god doest exist so what is the fucking point of all this why even humans exist just to live from day to day and die ? CAN SOME ONE EXPLAIN ME MY EXISTANCE AND PURPOSE OF THIS PLANET IM HAVING A HARD TIME
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>>722996777
7 is my holy number i use the power of the trips for i am the real Jesus faggots
>>
>>722996986
You exist to make yourself happy and have a fulfilling life and a legacy that will continue onward after you pass away, my son. If you choose to believe in me, then peace will await you on the other side.
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What's your favorite color
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722996967
Thx jeasus
>>
>>722996947
ha you assume death is a bad thing you fucking moron. I am not going to explain this shit to some fucking stupid American cuck . GO FUCKING FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF LIKE I DID ASS WIPE
>>
>>722997144
I fancy the color orange, for it reminds me of a warm ray of sunshine.
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>>722997069
Thank you for reply
>>
>>722993935
can I go to heaven if I kms right now in your name?
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>>722997144
Black ~ real Jesus. dont listen to that imposter Orange is fuckign gay .
>>
>>722997288
No, my child. A man who takes shortcuts to success does not deserve and will not receive the outcome.
>>
>>722993935
Sacrilegious.
>>
>>722997381
shut up faggot
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>>722997381
fag. I will team up with Satan now.
>>
>>722997288
yes
>>
>>722997506
Satan is not real. Evil resides in the hearts of men... mainly Jews. But i don't want to get into the political side of things its quite complex.
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Im out this thread is gay as aids ~ real Jesus
>>
>>722997710
Jews are people too. The only evil reside in Lucifer's influence.
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>>722997208
OH OH SHIT We got a squirter over here!! Listen here you fucking shitty inbread wiitarded blue haired hippy feminist mesaginistic pig raping blood vaping FUCK!!! Now you're claiming you know what's gonna happen after death too!? And you believe it's a "GOOD" thing!? Your mind must have been raped into oblivion by Satan! Jesus, Please heal this broken soul. I say a prayer. Heal the world <3
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>>722997936
And I shall, my son.
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>>722993935
ce ne pas un jesus
>>
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jesus i been masturbating over pic related over and over is it a sin ?
Thread posts: 91
Thread images: 8


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