>Walk into your house >You find Emma Watson standing

offer her a seat and attempt to chat her up

>>722870875
Try to be smooth and chill, but I'd surely drop the spaghetti like the autist I am.

>>722870875
hot sex

>>722870875
put the fuckin' kettle on.

>>722870875
Poop myself

Grab her by the pussy and demand she makes me a sandwich.

File: O03dxaX.jpg (72KB, 960x926px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 960x926px

>>722870875
Freak out and check for hidden cameras because I would think i'm on a TV show

Ask her how the fuck she managed to break out of the cellar

hit her in the face with a baseball bat, then shitting on her

>>722870875
Do a 360 and walk away

File: 1474398573.png (270KB, 816x634px) Image search: [Google]

270KB, 816x634px

>>722870875
Stammer because I'm socially awkward around girls.

>>722870875
I'd ask '' Are you lost?''
Then when i tell her to sit down on the sofa.
I'd also ask '' Would you like to use my phone to make a call?''
Whatever she says, yes or no, i'd say'' Let me get my phone, so you can call'' or is she says no
''Well let my get it if you change your mind''
Grab the chloroform*
Talk on my way down the stairs*
'' Hey emma?''
''Yes'' she would say''
''I'm gonna grab something you can drink if you'd like?''
''Sure'' she'd say
take the dish cloth*
'' Hey Emma? What got you into my house?''
''I just wanted to escape everyone who's following me'' she says.
''oh i see'' i tell her.
'' You seem upset Emma''
'' Yeah, i dont really want to leave right now, they are still in your neighbourhood, maybe i can leave at night?''
''Sure, sure no problem'' I say
I put the chloroform in the top the living room stand*
''Ugh'' she says loudly.
I ask'' Whats wrong?''
She says'' my agent said that i should wait until 2 in the morning before i leave''
I say'' i-i-its fine you can stay''
She smiles like smeagol finding his ring '' You are really nice, but i should leave its not really a good look for me to leave and come back just out of nowhere''
'' i see, i totally understand''
'' But are you sure that you should leave right now? i mean you just got here, maybe you could eat something and then leave''
She looks at me and says'' im not eating something thats reheated you know''
I laugh saying'' you underestimate my cooking skills''
She laughs back'' Well see about that''
She follows me into the kitchen
''So, what are we cooking, mr?''
'' sorry, umm, im Tony hawks''
She says '' Like the skateboarder?''
I laugh '' Look at my shirt''
'' Ohh hahaha, sorry i didn't notice''
I turn my back smiling taking out pots and pans.
i ask '' do you like pasta?''
Cont?

>>722870875
Ignore her and hope she leaves.

>>722871227
/thread

And confirmed Brit

I'd be embarrassed because I don't have any eggs in the house

File: FB_IMG_1486706095564.jpg (17KB, 480x341px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 480x341px

>>722870875
Immediately restrain her and proceed to have non consentual intercourse.

>>722870875
>unzips penis

File: Falcon punch.gif (2MB, 320x240px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 320x240px

>>722870875
>Wat do???

This.

File: rape.jpg (62KB, 449x594px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 449x594px

>>722870875

File: 1487179749943.png (8KB, 415x244px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 415x244px

lol de benis in de bagina :DDDD:DD

>>722871039
This

>>722870875
Throw the degenerate out

>>722870875
For your next thread ask about Selena gomez :)

File: 1477272000639.jpg (37KB, 641x586px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 641x586px

Rape her. Then ship her off to Pakistan.

>>722870875
>Tip my fedora
>rotate 360 degrees
>walk away

>>722873956
Emma is French though

>>722870875
stammer nervously "um h-hi"

>>722874084
kek

>>722873591
Fuck you im gonna cont by myself.

'' Yeah i love it'' she says
''Alright. let me get some pasta, you just boil the water''
She says'' Sure but how do i start the stove?''
I say'' touch the green part, and you can chose what part of the stove to boil the water''
Hmm'' There, found it''
I go in to the cupboard and takes the rolling pin*
I ask'' Did you start it?''
''Yeah, im just looking for the salt'' she says
I say '' its in the top shelf''
''Found it!'' she says laughing
''Great, i found the pasta, what do you prefer, Fedelini or Fusilli?
'' Anything you like tony hawk''
I walk out with the Fusilli to show her
Then act as if im closing the cupboard behind me, but im acually hiding the rolling pin in my left hand
'' Here take it'' i say
She takes the bag of Fusilli and turns her back against me
'' Big mistake i say''
She turns around looking at me
But its to late, the rolling pin is inches away from hitting her in the head,
Big thump sound coming from her falling and the rolling pin breaking over the side of her head.
I drag her into the cupboard, and drag her down the hidden walk way i got,
She wakes up in a panic,
''AHHHHHHHH, Help Me!''
'' No one knows where we are Emma'' i say laughing.
I walk up to her, takes the chloroform, she tries to make a run for it.
I trip her before she gets two steps in,
Grab her by her neck so hard she cant breath,
''Wrong move again''
Take the cloth soaked in chloroform, holding it to her face, until she falls down.
I take out rope, duck take, drills and a chair so she can sit,
Tie her close to the chair,
She hangs from the wall,
''Just like Jesus, you hang Emma''
I tie her fringers, toes and stuff her mouth with a sock, while she hangs from the wall,
i sitt down, reading a book, waiting for her to wake up,
Time passes She wakes up crying and bleeding from the wound, i caused from hitting her with a rolling pin,
I say'' i'll have a look at that wound, but first, you seem over dressed, let me help with that Emma''
Cont.

File: image.jpg (164KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

164KB, 1920x1080px

Wingardium leviosaaaaaaa

>>722873591
>cont?

no.

fucking kys

simple

the naked man

>>722875894
nah bullshit. her english parents happened to be in france when she was born, but she grew up in england.

>>722876405
kek hard

The ol' lickaroo.

File: IMG_1050.jpg (64KB, 480x640px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 480x640px

>>722876642
>born in France
>raised partially in France
>speaks fluent France
>not French
nice try you limey slut child

>>722877086
>both parents are british
>lived in england her whole life except the first few years (and when she tried college)

she's a bong. deal with it you cheese eating surrender monkey.

>>722870875
Kick her off my property.

File: tumblr_nea3u3pvjc1rwfctbo1_1280.gif (719KB, 658x394px) Image search: [Google]

719KB, 658x394px

>>722870875
don my ss uniform and gas her for being a sjw

>>722870875
Kick her onto my penis.

>>722870875
Punch Mike in the face for kicking the map into the river.
Hand Heather some Kleenex for her runny nose.
Scream for Josh at the top of my lungs.

Bury my face in the corner and wait for my turn..

>>722876405
There's even an uncenscored version of that