Just got sprung with a surprise drug test for work /b/ I am definitely

>>722833922
bump for potential

>>722833922
tell us what you do 1st

Can't you just pay a guy for a cup of his pee and stash it wherever you're supposed to go fill it

>>722834147

Nah man it was literally, getting dragged from the jobsite to the docs and piss in this cup, no chance to prepare. I think someone I work with must have snitched.

>>722834105

I work at a winery as a cellarhand..basically wine industry general labor

>>722834344
Why the fuck do cellarhands have to be drugfree? FFS are there even any other countries than murrica that do drug tests in the workplace? I'm pretty sure that's not even allowed over here

>>722833922
for one make sure you do this before they know (that you know) your about to be fired

my last job they kept a sharp eye on me

but if i had done somthing the day b4 , and not came back

that would be ideal.

>leav a personel log that they can find (anon) for obvious reasons

let me think

>>722834537

They had a big problem with ice amongst the forkies a few years back it has been company policy ever since.

>>722833922
>get shit job at place where you know is going to give out random drug tests
>start smoking weed all the time
>come into work high all the time
>work with other people who have worked there longer who probably notice and get tired of you being stoned and lazy at work and having to pick up your slack
>someone finally says something about the stoner kid who is slow as fuck
>get "randomly" drug tested. gonna fail
>hurrr I'm gonna put meat in my locker so it will smell bad then people will remember me

You sound very young and very stupid.

>>722834860

You don't know the circumstance fuckhead, I use stimulants so I can deal with 12 hour night shifts 6 days a week and be a better worker.

do it the help style make a chocolate pie with a little shit inside then give it to your boss plus the fruit idea is great and dont forget to lip everyone you hate off before you leave maby stash some blackcat fireworks in your poket and the when you leave set them off turn around and just flip everyone of out with a bang

>>722834923
a speed freak huh? jesus...even worse than a pot head

flip*

>>722835175

Get a job that takes real hard work for once then come back to me mate. What does it matter as long as I get the work done?

>>722835106

Not a bad idea man but I doubt anyone would chance a cake I'd make for them, I don't think I have the vibe of someone who'd just bake shit randomly

>>722834923
>using speed
>not having a legal script for Adderall because it's easy as fuck and is literally amphetamine salts

wew lad

>>722835409

Not gonna pretend I knew that, fuck that would have saved me some trouble

>>722835360
work you get done high on illegal substances, against company policy.

now you're just being a whiny bitch and want to get back at your employer for you not following the rules.

>>722834923
Just as all addicts needs their drugs to cope with life. You have my sympathy.

Man the fuck up and stop bullshitting yourself. There are aways alternatives and drugs aren't the only solution to everything.

>>722834537
Maybe cause a huge percentage of the US population seems to be addicted to any kind of drugs. In other countries kids actually get told early on that drugs are bad and that you should avoid them. Seems the other way around over there.

>>722833922

Why do anything at all? Most of those tests just look for the basics...pot, coke, heroin, crack.

Why take the risk of going out on your own terms when you don't know 100% that you will be fired for using.

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958KB, 2048x1536px

>>722833922
they will open the locker easy. hide it in an air vent. the smell will go everywhere and they will have a hard time finding it. also i suggest using a dead crab so it scares the fuck out of the person who finds it

>>722835747
Cause he wants to get back at society for not accepting his behaviors, which he's been lying about all along.

drug co workers ? profit ?

Shove Pork, oranges, apples, and a milk jug inside your locker. Break the lock and caulk it shut. Hide single grapes in various places where nobody would think to look or clean. Introduce culture of fruit flies to your office.
>inb4 havoc will ensue
Film reactions

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6KB, 275x183px

>>722835484
Well you dun goofed there, bro. But zoom out for a second - you sound young, so learn from your mistakes here. Are you a student? If you are, go to your regular doctor and tell them you think you might have ADHD (research the diagnostic criteria and describe some of the symptoms to him/her) and tell the doctor that you want to try a prescription for Adderall. Make up some shit about your roommate letting you try one or maybe just say you have friends who have prescriptions for it and they swear by it. Doctor writes a prescription, you take it to the pharmacy, and BOOM! LEGAL SPEED! WHEEEEEEEEEE

source - anon who has legal speed and just took 30mg about an hour ago

pic related

>>722833922
Get some Fanta in refrigator where 1/5 is piss. Buy some Bugs or mouses and let them anywhere free. Do fruits/Milk/eggs in your locker or behind heavy things which you cant move that easy. Throw some random things in wine which used would be disgusting. Shit on the toilet and spread it in the whole toilet. Let Windows Open where nobody Checks if they are open. Install on PC .Bat Data with an curious name and when they click it Formates C:... You need more?

>>722835837

Cheers anon

>>722835936

23 man, not a student but I could give it a try. Honestly just as long as it keeps me moving and alert. All I want is to be able to deal with the work load without falling asleep on my feet you know

>>722833922
Ah i got another idea. Make strong space Cookies and let them stay anywhere, ppl will eat the free Cookies and will be high af too. If you want to really fuck them take LSD.

>>722836007

All good ideas man, ta

>>722835866
+ Glue the locker additionally

>>722833922
Shoot up the office

>>722834537
Gerfag here, we're having a full health check before we can even enter apprenticeship or employment. Working as a biological lab technician (apprentice).

>>722833922
Dead animal into Fan system

>>722836273
> full health check
=/= drug screening