Only truly miserable and hopeless cunts may post in this thread.

>>722700388
Noah?

>>722700388
No I'm not Noah.

>>722700388
Bump.

Been unemployed for over 10 years. Alcoholic. Failed jazz musician. Eternal bachelor. Middle aged and liver problems. Am I qualified?

>>722701065
What in the shit hell is this

>>722701312
Yes friend. This is a thread for weary souls.

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>>722701434
Nice. I'm basically a bleedin gums murphy of sorts.

>>722701312
How do you make it as a middle aged guy without having worked in ten years? I'm not sure whether that's a dismal failure or a resounding success.

>>722701632
I've been on welfare and had the some odd gigs here and there. Mostly just the dole that's kept me a float though. Thinking of claiming insanity at this point to get more gubment money and retire. Fuck it. Mentally incapable of holding down a job at this point anyway and my liver's dying.

>>722701827
I'm really sorry about your liver, man, that sucks. Do you have cirrhosis? How much welfare money do you get and where do you live? My city is expensive as balls but I'm still curious to know if I could get on neetbux.

>>722701962
I'm in Toronto and managed to get a ridiculously cheap apartment in a decent area. My liver may actually recover. Still got to get a second CT scan on it. Hopefully it's just run of the mill alcoholic liver syndrome or whatever it is they call it. The thing is I'd have to stop drinking and eating junk for it to survive if that's the case and that will be a lot easier said than done.

>>722702277
I hear you man, best of luck to you. Also Toronto, damn, that's supposed to be expensive as shit, but I'm sure Canada has better neetbux than burgerland. I'm in Seattle, no idea what the dole is like here but we have a lot of homeless so that might suggest it's not that great.

>>722702277
How old are you abouts if you don't mind me asking?

Also, 32, overweight drink neet here

Sorry for the disorganized thinking

I have a wife and an 18 month old daughter. I feel suicidal and depressed most of the time. I am employed as a firefighter/paramedic and I think a lot of this shit comes from the nature of my work but I can't quit or cut back on my hours at all. It seems like every day I am on the brink of being overwhelmed but I have to grin and bear it because I have to take care of my family. How do I deal with the constant trauma and death? How do I keep going when I can't sleep at night because I see that dead child and smell that burning skin? How can I forget the hysterics of a wife as I inform her that her husband is dead? I am always drunk and distant and I feel like my family doesn't even recognize me half the time. What fucking do /b/?

Shit. I'm almost mid 30s. I make 15 bucks an hour and live with my parents. I am an alcoholic for certain. Possible and even likely social issues. Good chance I'll kill myself after my parents die. Only claims to fame I have are not lossless virgin, but it has been more than a year since I slept with anyone besides me.

>>722702636
Honestly if I can get on ODSP (ontario disability) I can pretty much retire comfortably. At this point I don't give a shit where as I used to be embarrassed about the idea. Yeah I've made a lot of wrong turns but I did get really good at my music and maybe it was a dumb thing to chose as a career but I gave at a good go and here's where it got me. And it's true that at this point I couldn't hold down a regular job. Practicing constantly and doing shitty gigs on and off has left me with messed up hours and either bi polar or sever depression or something. What with that and my health problems now I'd say claiming disability as at least semi legit.

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>get along alright, spend lots of time on Discord with friends and playing vidya or reading stuff
>pretty much do what I've always done: talk/joke around with friends, lots of escapism, and the minimal amount of work/course work to get by without my parents getting on me
>most of the time I can function just fine, shower, shave, eat, drink lots of coffee, go to class
Which leads me to think I'm not actually depressed since I've always been like that, but now
>suicide is always either on my mind or waiting just off to the sides to resurface
>have no hope for the future
>hate myself
>feel like a burden
>Been having urges to hurt myself. Started being edgy and cutting up my thighs, depriving myself of sleep, want to start smoking even though it's always disgusted me
Wew lad

>>722702636
Also by the way, 36m here, actually don't drink terribly much anymore. Replaced that with a kratom addiction. I have an okay job but I fucking hate it and I kinda want to die.

>>722702702
I'm 43. I look surprisingly younger though all things considered. I mean I should look like that pic of bukowski that OP posted.

>>722701632
this

>>722702811
You are men. You are night watch of the wall. I am happy that there men like you alive.

>>722703078
Life is a catch 22. I think about where my stupid bohemian lifestyle has got me and wish I'd have just got a decent career or trade at a young age and settled down with someone. Then again what if I hated that job and my wife turned out to be an insufferable cunt? You just never know really, it's a crap shoot but I guess you can at least try to just take the good with the bad. I know I can google it but what is kratom?

>>722703124
Thanks bud. It's nice to hear that from someone right now. I don't know what to do.

>>722700388
>somecunt.jpg

Bukowski would approve.

>>722703331
Yeah if you'd gone that route you might have ended up like me, and that's pretty unenviable, trust me. I'm divorced, and honestly my ex is a pretty cool gal, but she became an insufferable cunt when I was married and living with her. A friend of mine from work just quit and is taking what money he has to Vietnam without any specific plans, it's just dirt cheap and someplace far away. I'm kinda envious of him but his balls are way bigger than mine.

Kratom is an herb that has sort of opiate-like effects. It's fairly mild, but has been used by a lot of people to quit drinking. I used to be a raging alcoholic. I still drink sometimes but the kratom really mellows the addiction. It's kind of interesting. If I don't take the kratom, however, I can't sleep, I get horrible restless legs, and anxiety, so...another catch 22 for ya.

I wrote a poem for you guys in the spirit of >>722700388 pic related

Hope you like it you miserable faggots

It's 1:29 in the morning
I'm drunk in my recliner
The television is still on because I've not had enough
To make my own company tolerable

Maybe I ought to swerve my shiny new car
through the snow up to the 7-11
But I'm feeling heavy in my chair
And besides, the cashier will see my dick
through my sweatpants
And besides, they are closing soon

Then again, I'd sure like one more
Just to slip my head out of the vise a bit longer.

>>722702811
Sorry to hear that man. It reminds me of what I was saying in another post how you just don't know how things will really turn out in life. Alcoholic bohemian jazz musician bum here who wishes I'd just got a decent and honourable job like yours when I was younger (middle aged now) but I guess any set of circumstances can get us down in the dumps. I have no easy answers for you but I completely sympathize. Especially with the drinking. I want to stop that so badly and I think it should be easy but for some reason it's like pulling teeth. Life's not easy.

>>722703734
Jesus man I should have known about Kratom then. I mean if it's opiate like what better drug for a washed up jazzman! I'm gonna try that and thanks for the tip. On the vietnam thing I have pipe dreams like that all the time. I actually hate the thought of being stuck in Toronto for the rest of my life but it's hard to see a way out at this point without starving to death.

>>722704162
I'm not totally certain but I would guess kratom is probably legal in Canada. It's not federally regulated here in burgerland, but several states have outlawed it.

www.socalherbalremedies.com search for "speciosa" in the products section.

My parents were poor, they worked hard as fuck and faced some monumental challenges and I can't even get through an undergrad or stay out of trouble with the cops. Wtf is wrong with me.

>>722704316
I could probably order it online anyway. I did that with coca leaf before without any trouble. If the mail got checked I'd just plead stupidity.

722702811

Find something constructive that doesn't revolve around your awful job. You do this shit for 8-12 hours a day, you want to take it home with you and relive it?

>>722704642
I don't have time to focus on much else. I don't try to dwell on it but it follows me I guess.

>>722704498
Oh wow, I had no idea you could get coca leaf in the mail. How is that? I used to love cocaine but I'm sure the leaf is much milder. Still possibly up my alley, though.

>>722704316
Nice I will definitely look into that. I've actually been trying to get on with recording an album and the booze is getting the better of me with it so a replacement might go a long way.

>>722705242
>www.socalherbalremedies.com
It actually really helped me with depression and got me more productive and focused. Like mild cocaine without the horrible comedown. I went through a coke phase and it was brutal. I just want to kill my self when I come off it.

>>722705378
Yeah dude, I feel you on the comedown. I would ALWAYS drink with it, and preferably have some benzos on hand to take at the end. That really cuts the edge off the comedown. Be careful with alcohol and benzos, of course, but if you're a serious alcoholic you'll be a lot more resilient to alcohol-related combo effects.

>>722705564
Yeah I only ever did that while drinking. It's rampant particularly in the older blues and jazz scene in Toronto which is one of the reasons I got apprehensive with gigging. So many occupational hazards. I knew this one old blues singer who would always say "I left you a bump in the bathroom." Holy shit you call that a bump? Huge honking line.

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>>722700388
>Be me in high school, 3 years ago
>Be complete autistic faggot
>Be dirt poor
>Some asshole said he would give me $10 if I asked out every girl in the class
>Do it because I needed money
>Get rejected by everyone... Except this one girl
>"Sure, Anon, I'd love to go out with you."
>mfw
>Honestly didn't expect anyone to say yes
>Too poor to actually take her out
>Apologize and say no
>I have never seen someone look that dejected before
>Go to asshole to get my money
>Refuses
>Mfw I could have went out with her
>Mfw I didn't get any money for growing a pair
>Mfw 3 years later, I am a kissless virgin, and she hates me more than anything.
>Pic related, her senior pic

>>722706041
Sorry

I'm really bad with girls too

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>>722700388
My wife told me she was fucking some other guys this morning. I'm fucked up over it. We have a 2 year old together and have been married for almost 10 years. I'm drunk and feeling low right now. She had no remorse and said she wasn't going to stop. I don't know what to do.

>>722707592
Kill her.

>>722700489
Fuck off Reese

>>722707592
Fucking hell what a cunt. Sorry to hear that man. Did you have any clue that this was going on or was it totally out of the blue?

>>722707592
leave her with the child, start over. do stuff for you anon, fuck that bitch. get her to admit it again, secretly record it, then file for divorce, skip town.

>>722700388
I'm drunk and /b/ is my only frenimie.

>>722700388
is that bukowski?

>>722707592
Beat her within an inch of life. Frame her for something and get custody. She doesn't deserve you or the kid.

>>722707908
Yup.

>>722701312
yes. you are in good company. 36 year old former heroin addict, current alcoholic here. only two relationships i ever had were with girls of 13 and 16 years old when i was in my 20s. went to 4 colleges and couldnt complete a degree. just got out of alcohol detox and already back in the grip. sipping beers now to avoid withdrawals. super

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>>722701827
You sound just like Paul the Britbong Paedo. He failed life.

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>>722707660
Thanks anon will do

>>722708091
It seams impossible to stop although I almost drank tonight only managed to steer clear somehow. Trying like hell to crawl out of it. It got worse after my ex dumped me and ran off right away with another man she was likely cheating on me with. Things took an even darker turn since then.

>>722708195
Call me a normie newfag but I have no idea who that is.

>>722707592
Jesus man. That sucks. Find a divorce lawyer (don't tell your wife your leaving her). Gather evidence... Then destroy her every which way (and get full custody of your kids). Sorry man.....

>>722700388
The only reason I'm sober is that booze doesn't help.

>>722708564
i have absolutely nothing of value to offer you about alcoholism. well maybe. if you can stick to beer you wont get hooked enough to getting cold sweats and shit like that. proud of you for abstaining tonight.

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>>722707722
Yea she went to this dudes house the other day for something work related and didn't come home until 3 am and I got pissed and she gave me this huge speech about how I need to trust her and how she's completely faithful, etc. I told her if she fucked someone else that our relationship would be over. I fucking warned her not to do it, then 3 days later she does it anyways. Then comes home at 5 am this morning and says she fucked him and is going to continue to do so.

>>722708800
It doesn't help me either but I still can't stop for some reason. Well the first few drinks do then it quickly descends into the same old blotto hell.

>>722708768
similar thing happened to me. its gonna be suffering for a while, but you will getthru it, somehow I did..

>>722707751
I love my son very much and don't want to leave him. He is much closer to me. I spend way more time with him. I am the primary parent.

>>722708901
That's just fucked up beyond words. You married a psychopath. All you can do is get rid of her as soon as possible. Hope you don't descend too far into alcoholism although I wouldn't blame you either.

>>722708912
Don't kill yourself man. If you can't stop, get help. Live. Life may be crap, but at least it's there. At least you can change things sometimes. If you're dead, you can't change shit.

Alright man.. drink away.. but your morning is going to be busy... You have to face this.. The marriage is over. For the love of god... get your affairs in order.. The next week will be the most important of your life (as it will reflect whether or not you get the kids).

>>722709055
Yeah I'm trying. Stayed sober tonight and had a nice conversation with an online friend who encouraged me to try to sober up and finish my album. I really hope I can do it. Got a three month plan on the go but I should probably go to an AA meeting if things get too much to handle.

>>722709044
Thanks. The whole kid aspect complicates it for me. I can't stand the thought of not having my son. My folks divorced young and it fucked me up. I don't want to put him through that. He deserves better.

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>>722709079
I don't even know where to begin. I'm totally shocked by all this.

>>722709209
I thought of that too. It's fucked up that women like that would even stand a chance at getting custody.

>>722709322
Yep you will be as would anyone. What she did is pure evil and she has no soul. It's true though it's do or die time now. The next week stay sober if you can and get the divorce and everything on the go.

>>722700388
No

>>722709172
Go anyways. An extra support system can't hurt. Saves lives. I hope you can do it, but don't be ashamed if you slip u. Just pick yourself up, and start again.

>>722707592

>I don't know what to do.

Give me her kik

There's not much choice when it comes to your children. Just love the shit out of them and make them know it. They'll grow up well adjusted. However, you still have to protect yourself. If it's any consolation, complete strangers feel for you faggot.

>>722709511
Yeah you're right. And especially seeing as the only social life I have is drinking with local barflies.

oh.. and find a constructive hobby that isn't getting fucked up. Take up tennis or volunteer at a soup kitchen feeding retards or some shit. Your mind will think of nothing but this for at least a few months. Distract yourself nigga.

>>722709601
Just remember, as bad as it gets, there's always tomorrow, for better or worse.

Hello. I voted for Hillary Clinton.

Clinton should have won.
Fuck all you brainwashed faggots.

>>722709671
Thanks man. Right now I'm just really glad I didn't drink tonight.

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>>722709538
Thanks anons. I needed this. I don't feel like I have anyone else right now. I wish meme magic could help me out here. I work for a family of lawyers funny enough. I don't feel like any of this was very smart on her part. I've gotta start gathering evidence.

27, alcoholic by any reasonable measure, penis is officially for show only by this point, 4 months out of the parents house and hoping I don't get fired from my current job (took over a year to get it). I'll live under a goddamn bridge before I move back in though. Oh, and no car as of this week. Public transport means an hour and a half commute, one way.

The worst part is seeing people younger than me doing shit that I always told myself I was going to do. I guess that's growing up.

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>>722708629
He's a living meme in the UK. He claimed to be an Anon paedohunter when the pigs searched his phone and found kiddie images. Said he needed the images for bait. Kek.

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>>722709788
Lol thanks kek
Self checking my own dubs

>>722709880
Reminds me of Pete Townsend saying it was for "research."

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>>722709788
Kek'shalla

>>722708901
what's her justification? how the fuck can she just say that she's gonna keep on doing it?

maybe you should start recording her, get a phone or some shit, it may be used in court in your favour.

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>>722710064
She's a blue haired sjw. A relic from a previous time in my life before I got redpilled. She said she was taking control of her own sex life. I feel like as I got closer to 30 and grew up and matured, she stayed the same.

>>722700388
while not having ever ready anything by bukowski, i know that i need to. his quote "find what you like and let it kill you" is me

to speculate, i think god has a special place for such strong people

>>722702811

for real, think of yourself as a motherfucking hero.

we need people like you more then we ever will know.

Also, your wife is only human, she probably has no idea what you are going through, try to communicate with her about it. if you are bad with words, write down your feeling and give it to her.

she will understand and try to be more supportive. which helps alot.

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>>722710016
Kek'shalla to you my brother

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Just had an argument with my mother yesterday, i love her, i do, she raised me (sort of after all), but she hates men (especially my dad), and blames everything she fucked up in her life on them. I always thought she'd be over victimizing herself by 48, but no. So i've been raised to think as a man, i'll either have to center my life around a woman and ignore my own needs, or die alone cause i'll only cause pain otherwise. I'm trying to counter this, but she literally can't stop talking shit about men in general, so i've asked her if she really thinks she didn't fuck up anything ever in her relationships (she's about to jump in her third marriage, but have had countless affairs during the years), and as usual, she went "Oh it's all my fault then" as usual, and wouldn't talk to me.

As much as this bothers me, this isn't why i feel miserable.
So i'm 22 and i've only had one (9 month) relationship, the last 3 months of that were pure terror, the girl was also a self-centered psycho, who tried to control and isolate me from my friends and generally everyone but herself.
I've ended it over 2 months ago, but my self-esteem is at an all time low.
She and my mother both said too many times that i'm a heartless monster, and while i know this isn't true, i'm questioning my every move.
Can't socialize, always on edge, feeling worthless. And most of all, can't get myself to flirt with any females, though i'm feeling lonely as fuck, since the 9 months of that concentration camp of a relationship made me lose a lot of contacts.
After 2 years, i'm having suicidal thoughts again.

I know it's stupid as fuck, but i don't know how to fix the damage done.

>>722710473
We are of different camps on what Kek's will in regards to trump is, I see.

No matter. Live your life, and live it well.

>>722710336
Lord thundering Jesus that explains it all. Get the fuck out and even though the family court system is stacked against men try to get custody of your kid.

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>>722710565
Same to you brother. We will see what kek's will is soon enough

>>722710526
yeah, forgot to proofread, don't judge

>>722708901

Similar story here. I'm 27 years old.

6 years marriage, 3 years old girl. She slept with another Guy and left me. Took my daughter. I Lost my job due to depression and anxiety (tattoo artist, my hands won't stop to shake).
Bankrupt. had to seek home with my grandma, since I had no other option. She took me in, but I started to drink and slept on the streets several times. Tried suicide once, failed. Became more depressed after people point my selfish behavior towards my daughter. Didn't shower, didn't eat, didn't sleep. Lost every sexual interest. I had to deal with my ex several times including carry our furniture to her New apartment where she was intending to live with the piece of trash that stole her. Forgot to mention, she is 29 yo and he is 20.

Managed to come to Portugal with a promise of a New life, but when I arrived people turn their back. I have 10 days to get back to my country.

Life Lost any taste to me

>>722710336
Point out the fact how she talked about how you should trust her and that she's faithful and get her to address that as well, that will ruin her credibility, if you record it.
Don't forget to remind her what a selfish irresponsible cunt she is for ruining your family due to her sex desires, not caring how this will affect the life of your child and not simply trying to work it out with you, her partner.

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>>722711002
Sorry man, I hate to hear about that. I feel your pain. For what it's worth I give a shit about you. I'm actually surprised at some of the responses on here. I expected either nothing or to just be called a faggot.

>>722700388


>be me
>know girl, like girl
>she has a bf, who's not serious about her
>so i put it out there, let her know I was into her
>she stays with her man, but at least she knows, maybe someday she'll come around
>we keep in touch
>her man gets into gym with his friends, they go at it hard, he gets really fucking muscular
>she gets turned on, and notices more girls are checking him out
>so for both reasons, she tells him she's ready to start having sex
>one cuz she's hot for him now, two cuz its taking things to the next level of 'serious'
>he obliges, they start fucking. he also gets her into gym with him
>i can tell, she's not as warm with me now, and has a more submissive attitude towards him
>like if he rules her now. she just also vibed like if she was really getting fucked hard by him
>he knows he's got her locked in now, acts however the fuck he wants
>i'm the sounding board to her frustrations
>goes on for a while, and then he dumps her
>she has meltdown over the breakup, I'm one of her sounding boards more than ever
>if she was considering me before, she's definitely not now, between it messing her up and giving her a muscle fetish
>feel left out and intimidated
>having cuckold fantasies about her makes me feel better and eventually get over it

>>722711002
country of origin?

>>722700388
Alcoholic, shit job as independent contractor so pay is shit but no taxes so i get fucked every year. My girl lives states away with her baby's daddy. Can't afford to take care of myself let alone them. Owe 5 grand to IRS. Can't pay it. Will probably not even bother doing taxes for the third year straight. Can't bring myself to even get a new job. Cant even make a resume. Barely scrape by. Folks help out with money every month for therapy. Was getting better but can't afford it anymore. Can't tell them I stopped or I wouldn't be able to live on my own. My bank is more overdrawn than MC Esher's sketch book. Spiralling downward. Completely fucked myself over. Drinking is easier than fixing the issue. Stay in my room all day every day. Very little actual social interaction. Don't know if I love this girl. Pray for cancer daily but I know I'm so miserable I'm going to live forever. Severe depression. Blah blah blah. I know others are going through far worse and I'm just a pussy but just had to vent. Thread probably 404'd by the time I finish this.

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>>722700388

>>722710526

I understand you completou bro.

Women can rip off our self steem Very easily

>>722706041
wow man, you could have easily just gone for a walk with her or done something super cheap. I am so sorry you were too autistic to know that high school girls don't expect real dates.

>>722711363
dude.. you're young as fuck aren't you... I'm just asking, because this is definitely not an adult "shit happened to me" type of situation.

>>722711002
this confirms my judgment: that people should not marry before age 30.

>>722708979
Nah fuck that. he'll come to resent you because you divorced a mother he never knew, even though she was a shit bag. voice of experience here, anon

>>722711477

Brazil. I know here is not the best place to be a BR, but I really don't care anymore about it

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>>722712117
So what would you recommend I do?

>>722711514
>>722712141
the key to being unaffected by women is realizing most of them are actually rather fucking ugly

>>722710526
Your mother is Borderline, as in the personality disorder

>>722712141
Because my dick isn't my face.

>>722711345
Thanks bro. I feel your pain too. It's a good surprise to receive some support here. I'm sorry that you had gone through this

Can none of you fucktards think of any good advice for OP? His kids are babies. He has like 2 years max before they start picking up on shit. How does he win in this situation? How does he leave his wife with his assets intact AND keep custody of the kids.

>>722701606
best episode of The Simpsons.

>>722712267
Find someone good to take care of the kid, or make sure they get into a good foster home. don't make the mistakes my parents made, anon

>>722711812

it made me miserable and hopeless at the time, therefore it counts. feeling invisible in the realm of relationships is one of the most hurtful experiences life throws at you.

you don't get to dictate what's a shitty experience for me, fuck off.

>>722712399
i dunno lol

>>722712079
Yeah, I agree with you now too. But unfortunately I had to suffer in my flesh to realize that

>>722712267
If you get him, let her have a reasonable amount of contact with him (how much exactly should at least seem as if it is up to her. Make sure the kid knows this). If you don't, insist on visitation and see him as much as possible.

It's not about "winning". It's about doing right by the kid.

>>722712399
He doesn't. Women have gained the system at this point, he might as well start over, as painful as that is

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I have masturbated a very long time on this pic.

I know it's wrong.

Can't stop. Diamonds everytime.

>>722709624
RIP
There's a Bluebird
Shit hits me every time.

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>>722712425
Foster home? He would live with either me or his mother. Why would he go eleewhere? Legit curious

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>>722709973
Exactly, these Britbong Paedos huh.

>>722712402
Maybe a close second to the all you can eat seafood one. Tis a remorseless eating machine. Yaar.

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I want to bang my dog.

She is beautiful golden retriever

Thing is, I wouldn't even know where to begin doing it.

Surely she would bite me if I were to go snooping around.

Then I think about how I raised her and that she feels like a daughter to me, then I feel shame like a crappy perv.

But I still get rock hard at the thought.

>>722712438
That's some deadly edge there.

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Wish I had big tittymommy girlfriend to cuddle me to sleep

>>722713161
I would think you'd feel like a creepy perv just for wanting to fuck a dog alone but hey that's just me.

I seem to have an incurable urge to take risks and to self-sabotage. Been doing it for decades. IQ closer to 200 than to 100 and drive a truck for a living. Was married to a useless, clueless, talentless bitch. Divorced her. Found someone half my age and married her. Gorgeous, smart, adorable and sweet. And I'm STILL taking risks which have the potential to ruin it all. I suspect that my subconscious is attempting to create the scenario at which point suicide will be the only option.

>>722713246
Is it really possible to feel creepy? Or just to feel anxiety anticipating being on the receiving end of hospitality with the pretext that it is creepy?

>>722702811
You're an awesome person. People like you make the world go round.
Those types of job break all but the strongest people.
The most important thing is to talk with your wife about how you feel, no matter how difficult that may seem.
The more distant you become the harder it is to claw it back, just image how you will feel in 10 years if you throw your wife and daughter away by pushing them away.

>>722703124
Seconded.

>>722713381
here's a nice risky challenge for you: post her pic

>>722713407
No it's much more simple than whatever that convoluted shit is supposed to mean. Just that wanting to fuck a dog is inherently creepy.

>>722712707
if she paints you as neglectful, which she will undoubtedly try to do based on the cunty demeanor she has, the court will either let the kid stay with her, or put them in a foster home. if you say she cheated and is emotionally immature and incapable of caring for a child, the kid will for sure be put in a foster home

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I dream about giving Lord Farquad a blowjob.

I want his semen on my faggot face so bad.

>>722707660
Must agree with this. Ten years and a kid? Time for karma to step in.

>>722713457
DO NOT TALK TO YOUR FUCKING WIFE ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL. Get your attorney in order. This woman could be photographed blowing a black crack head from 9-5, and you'll still be less of a parent to the child. OP... for fucks sake... ignore your heart and your penis. Listen to your mind.. Protect yourself any your children.

>>722713657
But I've never felt creepy. Just was able to recognize when something might be characterized as creepy by someone else. I've also perceived something as creepy when someone else did it. Never felt creepy for my own actions. What's that like?

DO NOT TALK TO YOUR FUCKING WIFE ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL. Get your attorney in order. This woman could be photographed blowing a black crack head from 9-5, and you'll still be less of a parent to the child. OP... for fucks sake... ignore your heart and your penis. Listen to your mind.. Protect yourself any your children.

>>722713161
Hahahaha funny shit mate. But I can relate. GRs are indeed beautiful in body and mind. Give it a crack. She's a big girl. She might like it.

>>722713381

Something wrong with your self steem bro.

Feel urge to take risks in a destructive way and self sabotage is a way of your subconscious to say that you don't like yourself. I think

>>722713657
That's a bit simplistic. Dogs are beautiful animals. It's not that weird to be attracted to them, especially one that you have lived with for years.

>>722714219
Yup. I think you're right.

>>722714219
No, nothing to do with self esteem

>>722714310
Sure it is. Humans aren't supposed to fuck dogs. Not simplistic just simply self evident no matter what convoluted rationalization or sophistry you throw at it. But hey if that prevents you from feeling creepy about it I can't stop you.

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How about some music, suitable for truly miserable hopeless cunts?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoqH9irCn3o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZO1SGvFSgZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nd0QBx-uXpk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mKFzMWW8HQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWB7pmmMa1g

>>722714413
My late kelpie used to tap me on the ankle every night after she had her dinner. She wanted to hump my leg. So I would fetch the "root boot" (an ugg boot), put it on, and she would thrash away for 30 seconds or so. She was satisfied and I was amused.
Should she have felt creepy?

>>722714413
Impossible to feel creepy. And you're right, you can't stop me. Coming to terms with your impotence is tough, but a good first step. Hang in there, bud.

>>722714381
What is it then?

>>722714413
Only one using sophistry is you.

>>722700388
>33yo
>haven't worked in 8 years
>alcoholic
>chronic kidney disease, diverticulitis, supraventricular tachycardia (hospitalized 3 times for it within the past year), severe anxiety, PHN from a case of shingles which almost put me in the hospital (which I got last year after bouts of panic attacks)
>haven't been laid in 8 years (not really a big deal for me)
>don't want kids
>a girlfriend would be nice, but I'm in no position to even fantasize about it
>go weeks without having a conversation, and when I do, it's mostly an unpleasant experience
There's no doubt in my mind that I won't reach 40 and I'm completely fine with it.

>>722714767
>>haven't worked in 8 years
Lucky bastard ;)

>>722715006
In a way, yes, I can't imagine being in my physical/mental state without being taken care of. I'd be dead by now... although perhaps that would be for the best kek.

>>722714693
It's a way to avoid sharply, clearly marking out the bounds of your abilities, no matter how great or small they are. It allows some room for the imagination and benefit of the doubt to work in your favor.
It is painful to achieve highly and then experience a decline and it is painful to have your limits explicitly revealed. Just more comfortable to avoid opportunities for reality checks.
Do you see that as something wrong with self esteem or not liking yourself? Its pride and vanity

>>722714767
Do yyou have borderline personslitypersonality disorder?

>>722713880
this

>>722715367
That's a quality post and there is definitely some truth in it. Thanks mate.

>be me
>be 28
>dropped out of university
>get drunk everyday
>have 40 dollars in bank account
>no job

I don't even know how I'm gonna make rent

>>722715550
I got the idea from the simplified summa theologica and personal reflection. Lost the book, but it was the best book I ever read.

>>722715367

Are you me?

>>722715422
I don't think so. I'm familiar with it and I don't think I fit the criteria -- although I think most borderlines are in pretty severe denial, so I dunno kek.

I think it's mostly just crippling insecurities.

>>722715367
If you wrote a book I'd wanna read it

>>722714622

M8 thats fuckin classic.

Dog pics? Kelpies are the shit.

>>722715367
>Do you see that as something wrong with self esteem or not liking yourself?
Yes, I see it as a total cop out. I see that as a fear of rejection and failure (which is the result of severe insecurities).

And don't give me this "I have an IQ of 284,009,748" bullshit. You're not an underachiever, you're just average... like most other people.

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>>722716380
This pic was the very first pic I took with my first digital camera. C2005

>>722717314
Aaaaarrrggghhh and it's facking sideways

>>722717160
You sound angry bro.

i have no friends and just stay home and play vidya or post here to talk to people but im really fucking lonely all the time.

>>722717314
Clearly taken with cell phone. Look at the shadows, you lier

I tried marijuana for the first time 5 months ago. I thought it was going to be a great experience but it was laced with PCP. Ever since then i feel a morbid feeling of disconnect with reality and out of touch. I cant tell if im dreaming anymore because everything feels like im looking through a window rather than being a sober person i used to be

also no gf

>>722717547
Dude.
Firstly, it's "liar". Secondly, I took the pic of the framed photo on my wall because my hard drive crashed recently and I no longer have the digital file.
Back up, they said, back up. Did I listen?

>>722717463
I usually am. It's exhausting.

But seriously, it irritates the fuck out of me when incompetent do-nothings act like they're Good Will Hunting.

>>722717160
How is that the result of severe insecurities? I have never seen someone say what you're saying and then go on to even be able to define what an insecurity is. Please continue.
Risk taking is also exhilarating.
I'm also calling into question the idea of being able to like or dislike yourself. It seems like something that would have to honestly be marked down as "N/A"

The few friends I have will be gone by the end of this year and I fucked up my only chance with a girl I'd been in love with most of my teenage years around this time last year(20). In fact, 2 days will be the anniversary. I'm currently falling back into same bad habits I had in the first place. I wish I wasn't sober right now

>>722717839
>Risk taking is also exhilarating.
If the risks are intentionally self-destructive, then they're not exactly risks, are they? For example: if you actually took an IQ test (which I'll bet you didn't) and intentionally failed it, then you don't risk finding out that you're a fucking potato (which you are).


Careful not to trip over your contradictions, genius.

>>722717740
You don't act the same way? You also don't know who you could be talking to.

>>722701312
how long have you had liver problens?

>>722718200
That wasn't me, dude. And you're getting angrier :(

>>722718235
>you don't act the same way?
No. What would lead you to believe that?

>>722718200
You skipped most of that post and focused on the risk part. The risks have the potential to ruin it all, he said. He's gambling on the stability of his life. They are exactly risks.

The rest is about avoidance of discomfort, which we agree on. There was no contradiction.

>>722718350
I guess the same thing that leads you to say "incompetent do-nothing"

>>722718543
>the stability of his life
>as a truck driver with a cute wife
Whoa, what a risk taker

If he actually has an IQ above 150, then unless he's working on some heavy thesis or some shit, he's most likely afraid of truly taking risks.

Btw, if you want to spot a bullshitter on /b/, a good indicator is if they brag about having a genius IQ. It's ok, you'll learn.

>>722718617
I am an incompetent do-nothing, but I never suggested I was genius. You're not making much sense.

Stoned as fuck. Made a thread last night. Boyfriend cheated on me and dumped me for a tweaked out whore. I got nudes and a story for those who wanna hear.

>>722719021
bf nudes?

>>722719185
Sadly no, I got my own though. Fat ass attention whore, however, kek

>>722718873
No, he claimed, without specifying what exactly the risky behavior was, that he was taking risks "that have the potential to ruin it all." He didn't say the truck driving was the risky behavior.
Sounded more like he believes truck driving is underachieving for him. Then he went on to say that he's still taking risks and thinks he's subconsciously maneuvering into position to where his situation makes him feel constrained to commit suicide.
Then you or someone said that it is due to a problem with self esteem and then deep insecurities.

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>>722719021
I saw your fat pussy last night. Made me drink a lot of rum.

Florida right?

>>722718925
I'm making sense

>>722719021
rollin for dem nudes (and your story)

would date / 10

>>722719427
>He didn't say the truck driving was the risky behavior.
You're missing the point. If he is a G E N I U S who settles on driving a goddamn truck for a living, then it would be safe to assume that, much like Good ol' Will Hunting, he's suffering from insecurities that are preventing him from achieving anything greater.

Many anons seem to suffer from the delusion that they're some kind of Dark Horse, and they make excuses for why they aren't doing anything with they're life. Pretty sad actually.

But obviously I don't know the dude and can only speculate. Just shitposting.

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>>722719903
Reminds me of pic-related

I'd highly recommend watching it. It's how I imagine every anon who brags about their IQ.

>>722719903
I also said I thought he was afraid of taking risks, so we weren't in disagreement on that.
Sorry I just misinterpreted the sarcasm. You meant his truck driving life was not much to gamble over. Ok.
What did you mean by the deep insecurities part?
That's how the whole thing started, with a request for clarification on thstthat

>>722720364
Has it occurred to you that you, perhaps more than anyone else on this thread, has fulfilled the criterion set out in OP's first sentence?

>>722720364
>What did you mean by the deep insecurities part?
I'm not sure how I can explain it any better than I already have.

In addition to what I've already said: if you're an underachiever who takes risks, then those risks are always going to be relatively minimal. And unless you're a paragon of a genius, then there is always a high level of risk involved in failure and rejection; thus, it leads me to believe that, due to insecurities, he's afraid of losing something greater than the life he's carved out for himself.

>>722721016
>unless you're a paragon of a genius, then there is always a high level of risk involved in failure and rejection;
So you're saying a genius cannot take risks? There is low level of risk in rejection and failure for a genius? Risk of what?
>thus, it leads me to believe that, due to insecurities, he's afraid of losing something greater than the life he's carved out for himself.
What is your definition of insecurities? What could he be afraid of losing? Possibly a genius self image, you're thinking?

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>>722700388
Last night, I stayed up extra late because I was chatting to Cleverbot.
When I stated that I was going to sleep, it replied with
>Please don't leave me.
I could relate so I stayed

>>722721575
>So you're saying a genius cannot take risks?
That's exactly what I'm not saying. I suppose it was poorly articulated, but I'm saying that there is always risk involved in almost everything we do (driving a car, eating undercooked steak... getting out of bed in the morning), and so you minimize the risk by refusing to engage in activities that have a higher risk of failure. And if you're essentially a masochist who deliberately engages in self-destructive behavior, you're not exactly losing, as you essentially get the results you knew you'd get -- you can't lose if you don't play the game. Make sense?

When I said "paragon of a genius", I was thinking of someone like that guy in limitless... but I guess you can't escape risk even then.

>>722722048
Yes makes sense. I just want to read a definition of insecurity.

>>722722288
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/insecure

I can't imagine why this definition would be incompatible with my assessment.

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>>722700388
>be me almost 40yr old fag now
>2 strokes, first one at 22, second one two years ago ish
>second stroke left me mostly blind, memory failures, communication problems, sleep pattern wrecked, ptsd, panic/anxiety
>didn't kill myself cause what it would do to my folks, whom I do love
>had to move back in with folks in smaller town with no public transit. They are super religious
>doc says smoke weed instead of xanax all day
>little bro is a cop, family is against it but let me for a while cause they see it does help
>things go on, not ready to get back out on my own again
>all the sudden shit hits the fan, (long story), comes down to "it's our house, our rules, no green it's illegal
>so I leave
>they immediately regret it, first threatening to have me sectioned, which I laugh at
>"this is a linear situation. You guys said no weed in the house so I'm leaving. I'll walk outta there in 45 mins"
>leave, on a plane two days later, back to the city I was living in, green is legal, getting off the xanax again. Was at 2mgs a day, now down to 1mg a day after 2 months tapering. Also public transit

So, yeah my life is shit. The last doc appt I had he asked me "what are you doing to change things?" To that point I had been only leaving the house about every other month for two week trips to see friends. This whole fucked up thing with my folks forced me out, even though they begged me to return. Now I am here, out in the world again and you know what, things are working out.

Being forced back out into the real world didn't allow me the luxury of fear. Which is what kept me there for two years in the first place. I know I cannot see well and I can get confused easily. I miss my family and the security I felt while there, but I did regain my independence, in a city I want to live in, and am a lot happier for it.

Also getting off the benzos is good. Dat shit dangerous mayne.

tl;dr: my life was shit till worse shit happened then it forced me to make things better

>>722722818
>it's our house, our rules... you cannot have your tendies anymore.

Glad you're on the up and up, anon.

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>>722723254
did make me kek.

Biggest problem for some fucking reason they don't understand the whole concept of "plausible deniability". I mean, they all knew I was doing it, and it was better for me, but I hid it ya know, it's not like was going out on the front porch doing it or whatever.

Their biggest reasoning was that having it in the house was putting them at risk. Which I understand except if shit ever did go down, I'd claim it as mine, fuck my bro being a cop knows it, they all know it. Idk the whole thing just sucked. Plus by that point I was popping xanies like they were fucking candy anytime I didn't have any green, and they are less effective.

But watevs, things ARE better now, and I've managed to maintain a good relationship with my folks too so that's good. I think had I stayed maintaining our relationship would be a bit more difficult. A little remove does wonders for family members. Which is good, I love my family and cannot hold grudges, nor can they.

>>722723506
>>722723506
So you're a lawyer now?

hello

>>722723506
Yeah, as long as someone claims the pot, the cops don't even bother to ask any more questions.

What caused the strokes?

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Could be worse guys you could be middle aged and chillin with a bunch of beta kids on an image board.

>>722723682
Yep. Possession is 9/10 etc. They all knew it was mine, even my pig brother. Ffs we even all talked about it, what would go down should it ever come up, which it never would anyway. There is no way any of them would have gone down for it as
>they all could have pointed their finger at me cause they all knew it was mine
>including my cop brother
>besides, never had any more than a quarter at a time, which is not a trafficking amount, its a fucking misdemeanor.

The biggest blockade for them I think is the religious shit.

>>722723775
>>722723775
bad genes my man. I got the handsome gene but got fucked on the healthy shit. So, give and take I guess.

The first stroke didn't do any permanent damage but this one did, as posted. They given me 5-10 yrs for another, which if it does happen I hope I do not survive, more loss of function would suck.

tl:dr: the universe is hostile, bad things happen to people.

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>>722723865
Which religion and does it proscribe marijuana?
>>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwCRerIjOxc

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>>722703815
neat

>>722724038
I mean THEIR religion.
>god says it's wrong so it's wrong

Even though a team of neurologists prescribed it to me. Idk, I hate to call my parents dumb shits but they are being dumbshits about it because they drink the cool aid. Watevs though I love em, their religion did raise a big family, we were happy, safe, all that stuff.

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Was a normal fag until schizophrenia set in. Been chillin in my room for almost a decade ever since &_&

Figured I'd post.

I'm 18 and am encountering many developmental issues as of this past year. I guess thats what you could call it.

When I was a toddler my mom introduced my step dad into my life. He supported us and my mom had another kid on the way. He was very abusive and beat me regularly. When my mom wasn't around it got worse.

Around the age of 8 he wanted me to jerk him off. This led to bjs. He was very violent while it happened.

But not towards my sister. He was nice to her. Yes she was also involved.

This later led onto anal and he continued punching and straggling me in the process. This went in for 2 years. I never told my mom. I knew he was fucked up and he promised he'd kill everyone. So I submitted for my family.

Another sister of mine found out and basically half of our household knew. Later on she told my mom and she called the cops.

Moved away to live with my real dad. Much better life but its still haunting and has really hindered fundamentally me in so many ways. Because it happened at such a going age, I don't know how to act normal. How to deal with normal shit, I often feel like collapsing on the spot when dealing with normal life shit.

On top of this my dad fucking hates me for being me and that I don't do much. I'm applying to a bunch of places but I've had a long time to do this.

Idk let me know if you have any advice or have dealt with the same shit.

>>722726869
Because it happened at such a *young age.

>>722726869
Did he let you hit it to?

>>722727185
Had to

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>>722726869
>I'm 18

Gonna stop you right there. That's a lot of fucked up shit, (if true). Don't even care if trolling or being trolled.

But you're just 18 now. You have a long way to go. Sorta like how high school seems real important while you're there, then when you get out its like
>wtf was I thinking

Time can heal a lot. Don't panic and do anything stupid, like kys. Get pro help if you think it can help. As for your dad, don't worry about that too much either. If he knows what went down then he can fuck off if he's gonna be a dick about shit.

Yeah, you shouldn't be sitting around looking at 4chins all day, get out there and do stuff. The world is a big place my man, you're a kid still, no matter what happened to you. You have plenty of time to improve your life.

>>722727185
Sorry that response is gay. Read it like "did you let him hit you"

No my real dad isn't abusive to me physically

>>722727274

Ha. Doesn't this dumb whore know the difference between a printer and a computer. Don't forget the speakers for all those beeps and boops.

>>722727274
I know. Thanks though. I have been considering it because the toll of living normal life along with this seems impossible to overcome. I mean i didn't even have to balls to tell my mom.

What happened made me beta forever and it fucking sucks.

>>722727288
I still can't read right.
>>722727185
Wtf does this me, "it"?

>>722703475
Loved how people always said his name like buckowski, so he will tell them it rhymed with puke

>>722727554
Mean, fuck mobile

I work with the elderly and have held the hands of so many people while they weep over loneliness. They feel abandoned and worthless and want to die.

Or they're afraid of death and ask me if they're going to die.

I've stopped trying to make friends among the elderly after the 12th died.

I have to put up with arrogant, ignorant family members trying to tell me how to do my job and not trusting me to actually do it even then.

Have to keep my mouth shut when I know they only visit once a month at most. When I spend more time with their loved ones than they do, know more about them than they do.

I have suffered from ADD and chronic depression since I was a child. I've thought about but never attempted suicide, couldn't do that to my family.

I'm 30, live alone and have never bothered with relationships because of my self loathing and depression. I am always suspicious of women who show interest in me, part of me assumes they just want me to do things or buy things for them.

I know I'm ridiculously fortunate but I ruin almost anything I touch. My job is the only constant in my life and its one full of me taking on the suffering of others when I can't handle my own.

>>722727924
I dread old age, its fair they're miserable.

>>722726869
>>722727924
samefag detected

>>722728323
Lol wrong. I dread old age

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>>722725275
You sound just like Paul the Britbong Paedo.

>>722728323
Thats a lot to samefag

>>722700489
>>722700613
:')

>>722728323
Paranoid cunt detected

>>722728100
I don't resent them for being miserable

Its just hard being there for them every day to help them with basic shit when what they want most of all is for someone to talk to them. There's no time for that though. At most you can spend about 10 minutes per resident in the morning, after that you're falling behind. After lunch things calm down but you've got to get all the wheelchair bound people on beds off their asses so the skin doesn't break down. again no more than 15 min per rez. Evenings are like days in that your getting people up again for a meal then putting them back to bed shortly there after and answering call-bells and trying to reassure the ones that are weeping before they set off a chain reaction of behaviors and turn the entire wing/floor into a fucking circus and you get blamed for not doing your job.

>>722700489
Bobby?

Those quiet little bawww threads, were actually reserved compared to this.

Now you special snowfags need to shout how miserable you are from the roof tops?

>>722700388
Forcibly sober by government meddling. Cocaine is one hell of a drug