Weird faps you had as a kid, I'll start: >Be me, about

>>722632008
Ultimate kek

>>722632008
What the fuck

>>722632008
Another one:

>About 12 yr old
>Learn about lube, sounds like fun
>Don't have lube, too embarrassed to try buying it, plus I thought it might be illegal underage (stupid kid)
>Search house for items I could use as lube
>Somehow in my search, the best choice in my young mind was yellow mustard
>Fap with yellow mustard, find out that isn't enjoyable
>Still finished

>>722632008
Wonderful

>>722632169
Kek

>>722632169
You should write a book about your fap stories

I used to masturbate to the "hot coffee mod" on GTA San Andreas..

>>722632169
Same. But I used olive oil.

File: 1487260226687.png (271KB, 344x380px) Image search: [Google]

271KB, 344x380px

Here's mine

>Be me
>Be 12
>Home alone
>Have nothing to fap to
>Hornylittlecunt.gif
>Go to bathroom
>Start rubbing my cock
>Already erect as much as possible
>It'd be a shitty fap if I don't have no porn
>spend half an hour oiling myself up
>Completely covered in oil like some slutty porn star
>Walk around like a bitch
>Rub my whole body
>Find mom's lingerie
>Decide to put it on
>Look in mirror
>Heythatsprettygood.webm
>Get hard again
>Mastrubate to my own ass and boy boobs( I was a chubby faggot)
>Did this until I was 16
>Thought i was gay
>Nearly fucked a guy
>Mfw

not so weird but when i first discovered fapping i used to hold my hand still and move my dick, so basically i fucked my hand long before realising that the other way is more comfortable

>>722632008
OP again, I guess I can elaborate on how I was busted with porn. It's not as weird but it's still abnormal:

>Be me, 10-11 yr
>Learn about porn on internet, pretty sure I found out from a link my dad left in the history
>Start surfing porn like crazy
>Fap like an absolute madman to front-page images, not knowing that websites go deeper than that
>whatisinternethistory.jpg
>I save front-page images on the desktop
>Mom and dad have a fight over porn on computer, she thinks its his
>I decide to lay low, I research and find out about internet history, so I delete my history every session now
>However, now I can't fap anytime because my desktop pics are deleted
>how to remedy?
>I decide it's a good idea to print physical pictures of naked women and body parts
>For some reason I didnt stop there, I cut them out according to their shape (i.e. cutting around a body to make it the same shape as the woman)
>I store them in a shoebox and take them out to fap whenever I want
>Can't remember how but my mom found them and went ballistic
>I was raised in a private Catholic school/home. My dad was surprisingly nothing like that, but my mom was really tightly wound (she got better when I got older) - so you can imagine, she thought the world was ending and I was a criminal or something.

>>722632352
I could call it modern art

>be 11
> in the bathroom fapping
>a sneeze comes on
>grab dick as I start to sneeze
>a pickle slice flies out onto the tub
>confused but continue
>cum

The pickle slice wasn't as tasty the second time.

>>722632008

>Be me, about 12
>horny bastard
>Want to simulate sex, turned on by idea of actual movement and thrusting
>whatcaniuse.png
>Thats it....
>Cut a hole in a stuffed animal in crotch
>End up using the stuffed animal as a fucktoy
>Cum inside every time
>Eventually the hole got bigger and the insides were crusted with my cum so it was too uncomfortable to fuck
>Try to hide it for years so no one finds it
>Years later, about 19 years old, mom wants to clean out basement and renovate
>stuffed animal is down there.
>she rents big trash bin
>I come across the animal and instantly remember my deeds
>sneak it to the garbage as quick as I can undetected so as to avoid extreme embarrassment

>>722632923
Wait.....

the pickle flew out of your mouth or your dick?