Anxiety & social phobia. Any way to deal with this

>>722629208
I wish I knew

>>722629208
Yeah but I'm playing overwatch right now so give me some time

>>722629208
Meditation, breathing exercises, being outside. There's no cure but those can help.

>>722629208
get a job where you have people around you

>>722629831
ok thanks

>>722629208
Do the thing that will be most traumatic for you, like idk write a story of your pathetic life go to shop center and read it loud in front of many people. Something that will make you cry, hate yourself and after which you would like to kys. It should help you. You may die in a process, but if you endure humiliation, normal talking to other people wont be that scary anymore. Also record this, upload to youtube and post link.

>>722630002
Consider suicide

>>722629208
Therapy and meditation. Particularly a technique called "mindfulness." Search on YouTube to find videos.

>>722630169

thanks

>>722630002
This is true. Other people don't give a shit about experiences that can be deeply traumatic to you. Once you realize that, you don't have to accept the trauma and can become comfortable with putting yourself out there.

>>722630216
You are very welcome. You deserve to be happy, anon.

>>722629208
I'm not sure I recommend it, but I just stopped caring. No one actually gives a shit about me or my life, at best they just have me there to use me, so I don't give a shit what they think about me.

Had crippling anxiety and panic attacks from about 14 til I was 28. Hit rock bottom, couldn't leave the house. Bought the Linden Method. Followed to the letter.
No medication, no therapy, just exactly what he said to do. Was in Vietnam last year for 3 weeks, quit my shit job, went to university full time. Love life now!
Totally changed my life

>>722630844
Happynfor your success, anon! Thanks for sharing your story.

>>722629208
For me what has worked best its to not care about any symptom, its hard af but if you care your anxiety become stronger and it enters in a loop anxiety/sympoms... if you have symptoms just think that they will end eventually and ignore them.
Diet its also very important so try to get all vitamins you need and avoid sugar, caffeine and alcohol. Sun and exercise its necessary for better sleep. Also dont expect to recover fast, the recovery its very slowly and gradual, for me was about 10 months.

>>722630844
Sounds good, congratulations I guess. Where did you take the energy to overcome it? It feels so hard to overcome, it literally has taken over my life and has become part of my personality.

>>722629208
Do anyone has something that actually worked for them? I have a severe case of social anxiety that everytime I get in my college my heart start racing like crazy in case I saw any of my classmates. It's so devastating I reached a point where now they ignore me cause I actually ignored them my whole uni years. What do? How to fix this shit?

>>722631758

I suppose I had just reached rock bottom. I looked around at everyone else and really wanted a normal life. The program isn't hard to implement. There's nothing physical you have to do.
I think the 2 most important things to remember are:

You don't have to feel like this!!
and, It's a learned behaviour, there's nothing wrong with your brain. Anxiety isn't bipolar or schizophrenia

>>722632234
How does establishing eye contact feel to you? I feel this is one of the hardest things to learn. It feels so awkward looking at people, and it feels awkward being looked at as well. Especially by women, it fucking makes my face hot and red all the time.

>>722632852

Since I've recovered it's gotten way better. Sometimes now I can maintain it long enough that the other person looks away. (not in a weird stary way). With women it's harder but gets easier. I'm consious of it so I nearly make it a game for myself. Like anything, you practice it enough it becomes easy

>>722629208
Enroll to a salsa school.

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>>722629208
Just stop caring. Just stop. No one cares about, we're all going to die and be forgotten in the vats emptyness of space and time.

So who gives a single flying fuck if you said "you too" at the theatre when told to have a good movie

Who cares if your hairs less than perfect and you maybe look like a slob that day? Bitch I pay my taxes so who fucking cares?

You just have to give up and let things ride out man. No one is a mind reader, if you pretend your confident, people see you as confident.

If you pretend to not (or actually do not) care, then people will feel that.

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alcohol. A severe understanding of wisdom and never being afraid when they ask you stupid questions to dominate, Simply give them a stupid answer to null their domination. If they keep seeking psychological domination for sick pleasure don't associate with them as quick as possible stand your ground and look at the vast ocean of people that are out there just like you. Have a warm cup of wateva waiting for them to let them know they're in good company. Plenty of fish in the sea. Get over yourself and learn to relax in an social environment. being the life of the party and being able to enjoy people around you are absolutely 2 different things.

>>722629208
>>722629617
>>722631938

Breath in through your nose and make sure you gut expands, then breath out through your mouth and let your gut "sink in".

Also use rational emotional thinking. Rather than thinking people are gonna laugh at you or you'll fuck up or whatever make a list (on paper) about what could happen. If you practice enough times, you'll find that your mind won't immediately race to whatever makes you anxious.

>>722629208
Had this to a crippling degree since childhood till i figured out the secret to happy living.
Stop caring what other people think entirely.

Stop thinking about what others might be thinking about your clothes, skin, face, posture, voice, conversation, dick size, opinions, political party, EVERYTHING.

You have to grow up and stop feeling the need to have others validate you. You validate you, end of discussion.

>>722633836
I don't know how to do that. Please help

I used to talk to a girl from my uni on fb and we'd talk for hours and hours but when I see her (not only her, basically everyone) I get extremely nervous and anxiety fucks my shit up, and I just start ignoring her and pretend that I'm not seeing her and walk in some other path. I'm autistic I know. But I'm a fucking outcast. I know everyone in uni and they know me but I don't talk nor do anything

>>722634007
I hear that often, but how do you even start to stop caring? Is it just repeating specific thought patterns until they become automated?

>>722634140
>and we'd talk for hours and hours
how do you even talk with someone "for hours"? see, I can't even get to this point.

>>722634630
It's on fb. So the anxiety isn't really there but I wish we never talked. Because I see her in uni and I pull on a full autism mood and start to pretend to not see her as I said so yeah..

>>722634849
I'm not normal enough to even be on facebook

Anyone ever have difficulty walking sometimes? Not like walking to the pint where u can't walk, as in sort of walking weird. Hard to explain. It's sorta when u over think about it and shit.

I've been suffering from social anxiety have gotten over the fact of what people think about me. now I don't give two fucks. And I don't think I ever will now.

Even if Ur a bad talker it still doesn't matter just have a straight forward convo with people it eventually gets better. I am good at conversating but not when it comes to females it feels like I am speaking to a whole different fucken species. I am very funny but none of em get my sense of humour (most men do and they do laugh no homo) I'm not even a beta either that's what gets me mad. I can never have a good convos with them or make friends with one. I stopped caring if I die alone at the age of 14-15 because I don't give a fuck no more

>>722634514
Nope. I just stopped. I realized my problems came from what i though another person thought about me.
Used to worry what people thought of my hobbies, looks, clothes, mannerisms, opinions, everything. Then i said fuck it what do i care what they care?
Chatting to a new person i'd be so nervous of making a shitty impression with my everything I wouldn't even meet their eyes or talk audibly cause I literally worried they'd see weakness or something to hate in my eyes or hear it in my voice.
Now its I don't care what they think of me either they like me or they don't and if they don't then whatever i lived without them i can continue to do so.
You have to put yourself above the need for that kind of validation inherently. Validate yourself and have that be enough.
Like making models of gundams but worry having a ton in your room will give others the wrong idea? Fuck them its your room filled to the brim with what you like.

Like wearing baggy clothes but worry others think you're trying too hard to be cool? Fuck them they're your clothes to pick and wear and you chose the ones you like and are comfortable with.

Worried someone doesn't like your taste in music? Fuck them its YOUR taste in music not theirs and you enjoy that shit not them and you're not listening to it for them are you?

>>722635098
Yep. Thats posture anxiety. Yes it does actually have a name and its that widespread. It can be in any part of your body like your arms, hands, face, shoulders, neck, etc.

Just walk how you feel is comfortable and don't give a shit what others might think.
If its a bad day i walk with a pimp limp cause i fucked my knee growing up. I couldn't care less if people think i'm trying to be tough or gangster and i'm not walking straight and making my injury worse just for their benefit.

>>722635057
Same case here bro. She sent me a friend request thinking I'm a normal lad

>>722635278
I never knew that, thanks for the info bro. If any one tries something with you pimp smack the fuck out of em let everyone know your a pimp and u run shit

>>722635321
I meant I don't even have a facebook profile. Didn't bother creating one, because nobody knows me at this point.

>>722629831
>>722630169

Meditation has been proven to not do diddly squat though.

For me social anxiety has pretty much been a thing for the past +10 years with it becoming real bad in the past few years.

Got prescribed antidepressants but I refuse to take them because I just can't see how going from an anxious hermit to an apathetic impotent hermit will help my situation at all.

i never feel safe outside and feel like everyone watches me. Carry a shooter. No one says shit.

Learn to meditate anon. And cut out alcohol.

>>722629208

Therapy

>>722635596
How bad is your social anxiety?

>>722635604
>antidepressants
I have tried medication such as antidepressants a few times and will never anything again, all it does is either make me tired or very restless and more nervous

>>722635854
Which is why I'm trying to stay away from them. Plus if I'm depressed it's because of the way social anxiety impacts my life, not the other way around.

>>722635812
Really bad. I'm at the lowest point in my life, completely isolated socially. I have no idea how to get out of this, I don't even know where to start. I don't know anyone that is my age and if I did what would I talk about with them? They are years ahead of me as far as experience goes. They live in a completely different universe.

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This stuff works and its not expensive. I don't have anxiety that often but when i do i always go to this. Also helps me sleep when i can't get to sleep because of an overactive mind. I sell vitamins and supplements for a living and have tired tons of stuff, use this!

>>722636149
Ok Alex Jones.

>>722636145
I know your feel. I don't know how to start thinking it's better of to die you know?

>>722636149
More info on this? What Is it made of? How does it affect social anxiety?

>>722636281
Yeah I often hope someone would just shoot me while I sleep

>>722636145
If you want, we could talk

>>722636403
I live in a place where there's 90% chance of getting killed yet I'm not. God hates me this much.

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>>722636255
fuck you

>>722636281

Benzodiazapines(sp) like vallium act on gaba in the brain. This supplement contains gaba and also l taurine. Taurine is an amino acid that also increases gaba. L theanine the the amino acid found in tea. You would need a lot of tea to equal the theanine in this product. Theanine is also good for focus and overall mood/well-being. Magnesium works to balance neurotransmitters and relax muscles. Holy basil is an adaptogenic herb that helps the body adapt to stress, anxiety, immune and fatigue. An herb can only be classified as an adaptogen if they have no known negative side effects. Honestly don't know much about the relora/magnolia in this product. You should be able to find this product in your nearest health food store or a place like vitamin shoppe. The manufacturer is having a problem with out of stocks.

>>722629208
Defensive pessimism

>>722629208
Make a list with activities which are difficult for you. Then expose yourself daily to them. Start with the easiest ones. Mix things up if you feel confident enough. Like greeting 10 strangers outside. You will get used to people around you this way. Also keep track of things you did well. If you stay at home your condition gets worse.

>>722636440
Thanks, but I think I'm too scared. I will look for a therapist though who can help me maybe.

>>722636966
>>722636149
I doubt I can get that stuff where I live without prescription, though.

>>722637343
No problem Anon. If you ever change your mind just email my temp email

[email protected]

We can talk about w/e, your day, some small achievements etc. But if your doing therapy that's also really great.

>>722637507
where from?

>>722637947
Europe, don't want to specify more exactly.

>>722638082
are supplements not available to buy in a store?

>Got depression
>anxiety
>schizophrenia
>attempted suicide

Expose yourself to the smaller things. Try and have a small discussion with someone online (as you are doing now) and then do it in person. Just make small talk with a family member. Slowly but surely you'll start to increase your confidence, but it takes time.

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Someone probably already said it in the thread, but obviously the solution would be to find what causes your anxiety AND FACE IT HEAD ON. Social anxiety? That's not gonna get better if you sit in your room all day.

What sucks is when the thing that causes you anxiety is not something you can that "easily" get rid of.

>>722629208

Yes, make sure you weren't raised by a narcissist, for starters. Read about it, make sure to check the vulnerable narcissist, the kind that doesn't explicitly say they think they're awesome but, instead, shits on everyone and everything else, including you, in subtle ways.

>raises you to fear other people because they think everyone's an asshole or an idiot

>makes you scared of everyone and everything

>insults you when you show fear of others and new things

>considers you lame for lacking confidence, the very confidence your parent failed to give you

I lived 34 years before realising what my parents were. Subtle narcs are worse than obvious ones, emotional abuse has an edge because you may live your whole life and never know.

Understanding what's going on can ease your anxiety, but we'll need to talk.

>>722638142
Actually, now that I have looked I can order this stuff where I live, but it's expensive. I will get that stuff as soon as I can afford it. Are you sure it helps with social anxiety though?

>>722638143
How do I get rid of the feeling though, that people don't care about my part of the conversation, no matter what I say?

>>722636622
Brazil?

>>722633503
>Just stop caring. Just stop. No one cares about, we're all going to die and be forgotten in the vats emptyness of space and time.

Edgy, kid. None of that shit makes a difference. Anxiety is due to brain bits that have shrunk, making your feelings far more intense. Your amygdala is the center of fear, and if it's been damaged by anxiety in the past, rational thoughts won't help much. It'll take time, therapy, etc.

>>722638728

I'm more than sure what you talk about matters, perhaps you're talking to the wrong people?

>>722638522

It will help with any type of anxiety. Certainly worth a shot before you get prescribed something that could have negative side effects... like impotence.

>>722638737
Much worse

>>722638910
Mexico

>>722638910
not even south america? south-east asia?

This book 'the power of now-eckhart tolle'

>>722638910
>>722639021
ah okay

>>722639021
>>722639101
>>722639139
I'm in the middle East

>>722629208
stay in my room all day

>>722629208
Bullet usually works.

>>722639209
oh man. good luck then. stay strong dude

.watch this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwk1DogcPmU&t=0s

>>722638838
Maybe, but I feel everytime I say something people are like whatever, we don't care about this guy's opinion, just stop talking to us already. It has been like that since my school days.

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>>722629208

social phobia is caused by bad social skills.

therefore you are anxious because your social interactions end up being negative.

then, because others sense you are anxious, you are treated differently.

thus, because you are treated differently, you end up wanted to avoid social situations and dread it.

but really, you have to learn to stop the vicious cycle at step one.

The world is not 100 percent your mirror, but people will treat you differently depending on how you learn to project yourself.

once you practice socials skills more and get slightly better, you get slightly more confident, people treat you slightly better, and thus you are rewarded, and since you are treated better you get even more confident and your social skills get even better...

so either get into the positive cycle of improvement, confidence, treated better, repeat

or you will be stuck in the cycle of poor social skills, anxiety, treated differently, repeat

theres a lot of methods and ways to look at it but this is how I see it


another method is if you learn to not care, you are treated better socially if you are indifferent then if you are anxious and freaking out/having panic attacks. then you build and improve from the foundation of indifference, which is like being neutral, instead of anxious, which is fear/negativity

>>722639415
No. His face already makes me aggresive, I don't even want to hear him talk.

Your all doing it wrong! Remember it's a chemical neurological process in your brain. Cannabis can heal broken connections in the brain.

Here is a strain for you to consider:

https://www.leafly.com/hybrid/pineapple-express

>>722640315
>social phobia is caused by bad social skills.
>therefore you are anxious because your social interactions end up being negative.
I know
>so either get into the positive cycle of improvement, confidence, treated better, repeat
then how do I fucking enter it

>>722640315
I have pretty horrible social anxiety and I have decent social skills. I suppose my issues stem from paranoia instead of actual failures. Oftentimes after completely successful interactions with other people I end up retroactively working myself up over what I could have done better or how that person must perceive me. This leads to me avoiding most interactions for not wishing to go into a spiral of anxiety after the fact.

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>>722640912
its different for everyone, everyone has social strengths and weaknesses.

for example, a hermit gamer type. aka analyzing my dad. a computer programmer he is super expressionless from 50-60 hours a week coding. and that expressionless basically harms his charisma potential.

I would say to start improving social skills, start practicing sales pitches in the mirror everyday, doing acting exercises, expressions, gestures, voice tones, story telling, posture, just shit like that can take someone from bad to at least average if not good eventually over time

expressing yourself socially is a skill and any skill can be improved
>>722641244
instead of looking back look forward and think about how to make the next interaction even better

>>722629208
It's all about learning to feel comfortable in situations you normally wouldn't. The underlying anxiety won't go away, but it instead be circumvented. In doing this, increased confidence and social interactions will actually reduce the anxiety.

How?
Start with a little bit at a time. Try to make a new habit that puts you in an uncomfortable situation (like talking to a stranger) regularly.

>>722640315
>social phobia is caused by bad social skills.

Shut the fuck up. Social skills are caused by social phobia, you absolute idiot. Social phobia will generally be caused by your parents.

>>722639448
Maybe you are trying too hard. People can really sense when you are desperate for attention and dislike such behaviour. Ever met a guy who says "hi" out of the blue when you are sitting with your friends, or are busy with something, and he just can't get the clue that you've got no time for talking, yet he insists and just kinda creepily follow you around saying things? If you are that guy, don't be that guy

>>722641782
its a cycle. and improved confidence from a foundation of improving social skills gradually every day will lessen fear over time

>>722641782
Not just your parents there are more factors that can lead to social anxiety, like the environment you grow up in, the people you interact with, the situations you experience, traumata, autistic tendencies all these factors can lead to development of social misdemeanor and eventually degeneration of social skills

>>722641840
I think I was that guy sometimes, but just because I didn't know how or when to approach people

>>722629831
this,
also pushing yourself into social situations,
let yourself be awkward and laugh about it.
not easy but it's working for me

>>722634849

Does she never ask you why only talk on FB? Have you tried bringing up your anxiety in some playful way during one of your FB chats?

>>722629831
NO CURE?

>>722629208
generalized anxiety disorder guy here, bordering on OCD
would not want to be without my meds for long, without them I'm miserable and so is everyone around me

>>722632234
bullshit
a real anxiety disorder is neurochemical
if you're just shy or nervous around people that's a shame, and you might be able to fix it on your own, but you shouldn't call it something it's not

>>722643311
not necesasarily, it can be caused by numerous factors see >>722642246

I don't really know if I have social anxiety, like whenever I have to talk with people I'm not 100% comfortable with (literally three) I stutter like crazy, touch my neck and hair and avoid eye contact at all costs. when I have to talk in front of more than 5 people my heart beats really fast, I can't spell more than two words without stuttering, I sweat, my legs start trembling a lot and all my body shakes, I also talk really fast and forget words, my visual gets blurry quick and I scratch my skin so bad it becomes red, I feel like crying and running away. I can't talk to cashiers or shop assistants, I get butterfly even before I enter a store. anyway my stuttering is not chronic because I don't stutter at all when I talk to those three people I'm comfortable with. I also hate going out because I feel like I have a weird way of walking and people make fun of me. I live the house only when it's really necessary
I'm also a girl, is it bad or I'm just too emotional?

>>722629208
I'm trying to force myself, at first time it was difficult and obviously could not get the feeling of fear and anxiety out of my mind and this frustrated me, I thought about quitting but I kept thinking positive, forcing myself, and continued.
Now I'm not totally well, but if i look to the past I've changed a lot.
You have to force yourself, mentally repeat that you are superior and need not be afraid.
This is not easy, you need to know that, but it possible.
I trust in you OP, you can do it.
Is possible to me, why not for you?

>>722641600
Exactly

Been dealing with social anxiety for a good 15 years now, for me it's been going up and down from year to year. I've found a few tricks to improve things but haven't found a way to deal with it permanently though.

What frustrates me the most is that it comes and goes without me being able to figure out why - it's like I'm not able to "cure" my social anxiety, just deal with it in a some what positive way.

>>722643874
I think that's already a form of social anxiety although, although not as severe. You should stop thinking too much about how you appeal to other people or what they might think about you. You just need to remind yourself of that.

I also hate going out and I feel like people are watching me, and everyone is evil and looking for flaws in the way I move and talk but my anxiety is probably much more severe.

>>722644674
what are your symptoms anon?

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i never actually got over it. i kind of just deal with it. i'm on meds but those are basically sugarpills since the problem usually lies within.
i drink and smoke weed. if i'm sober when i go out i get pretty aggressive because of the anxiety, the other day i broke down in a restaurant with the gf though. it was embarrassing.
without the drugs though i used to manage with routine exercise and punching dense objects to get stress relief. my hand hurts.

>>722644793
You know the usual stuff inner tension, rapid pulse and high blood pressure, shaking, sweating, blushing, sensation of heat in my face, and of course the congnitive symptoms like not being able to speak/think coherently anymore

>>722629208
Your feelings of anxiety are just confused cravings for cock

>>722646183
how is it much more severe then? not saying you're lying but I want to understand, I've never met other people with social anxiety

>>722646421
I have no social environment whatsoever, I'm completely isolated. I have no facebook acc because nobody remembers me anyway. I've had no contact to people my age since I left school. I was never able to make any friends in school because of my anxiety, I think people always considered me weird, maybe I really tried to hard to be one of them as this guy said >>722641840. I'm now at the point where every form of social contact is exhausting. My life sucks and I want it to end.

>>722631099
Yeah I stopped giving a shit about it, and just pretend, the people who you talk to might eventually care, but I really don't give shit what they think I just have to live in a system that is built on their expectations, not mine. So pretty much fuck them, I why should I care what I say as long as it is somewhat along the lines of what I and they want, but I don't really think about it socially it's just something that has to be done, neither enjoyable or not enjoyable just work, I guess then it takes to the philosophy that you want to apply to your work. I'm not going to let communication override and make me feel good or bad, its just that communication, you are the message, not the words or anything else.

Embarrassment and dignity technically do not exist, unless you feel the need for them to, there is no mistake grand enough to be embarrassed, because of the existential nature of life. Dignity exists in the fact of pulling someone outside their regular conditions, but then disallowing them to go back to regularity for the remainder of their life, this would be undignified. If it is temporary dignity may be temporarily garnished, but it temporary garnishment of dignity can be done to benefit an individual, but not always.

>>722647092
I think I'll find myself in that situation too when I leave highschool. I usually stay at home for weeks straight during holidays and when I do go out I only go out alone. I also plan on moving alone and never have a bf or friends. people and social situations bore and annoy me

>>722641600
Take a high school cheerleader they seem somewhat high in the social hierarchy, put them in a social situation where they have to fit in with professional dancers or models, they would get anxious too

we need to stop watching porn

>>722648344
Why? I have already accepted the fact I will never have sex in my life, at least let me masturbate.

>>722629208
I find moving to a school bus in the Alaskan bush to be effective

>>722647599
>>722647092
You too lads need to volunteer or something. Go become park rangers or fur trappers or some shit. High school sucks, it also isn't how real life works in the least. Fun fact, you don't meet quality people in a bar or club.

>>722649048
Ain't gonna happen, I'm unemployed now and before I can start any kind of job I need to take some kind of therapy.

bumping this shit

>>722629208
It's all over discord.
https://discord.gg/rUuwtww

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>>722629208
Go out at night; do grocery shopping, go to a 24/7 diner, something like that. Do it on weekdays or at 2am to avoid the rush of drunks.

Have a casual, 1-minute conversation with the night clerk/waitress.

They won't be overstimulated with customers or meddling bosses, so they will be their own chill selves when they talk to you. The conversation will be genuine.

Doing this helped me immensely when dealing with people more frequently, and in more chaotic environments.

>>722651834
The problem is, what kind of topics does an anxious fag talk about with normal fags?

>>722629208

>started with daily nonstop panic attacks when i was 15 for 6 months straight
>only time I was anxiety free was while asleep
>felt like i was going to die, hyperventilating for no apparent reason
>finally had enough, for whatever reason i was so fed up with panic attacks i just said fuck it i don't care if i live or die then the attacks became less and less and finally disappeared.
>i still get panic attacks now at 23 but I am able to control them much better, I think i have an incredibly high tolerance to anxiety now because of this.
>after panic attacks subsided anxiety just manifested itself into general / social anxiety
>spent everyday since 15 wondering why me, what did i do to deserve to be fearful of everything and everyone
>would endlessly search for treatments and cures everyday
>during college 16 - 18, anxiety most days
>the most challenging was working for my dad 19 - 23. it was complete hell at first, i was suffering from extreme social anxiety but had to force myself, the job was maintaining rental properties, i had to converse with tenants, explain stuff, talk to contractors, call people even though i had phobia of talking on the telephone, for a while i felt sick every time i would come home
>eventually day by day, month by month as i forced myself it became easier
>experimented with benzos after torturing myself for so long, Valium, Xanax and klonopin
>they all worked in their own ways, gave me a rest bite from anxiety for a day ( i would only take every now and then, dependence on benzos scared me)
>experiment with weed
>weed relaxed me, opened my mind
>social interactions still felt weird even though they became easier
>stopped working for my dad because it was making it me depressed.
>now i have no job its making me more depressed but anxiety is started to resurface a little, the thought of getting a job and meeting new people reignites the anxiety.
>now 23, no purpose or direction

you are not alone opie

>>722652278
Ask them questions - put them into the position where they talk about themselves first.

A great initiation to fall back on in this case is asking them why they work the night shift. You get all kinds of interesting responses. They usually have no one else [but drunks maybe] to interact with, so they won't usually blow you off if you show an interest in them - if not because they are interested in talking, they'll at least see it as a potential opportunity to pass the time and be entertained for a while.

Speaking as someone who overcame my social anxiety almost entirely, and used to work night shifts for hotels and restaurants for several years, I can tell you that many people who chose to work nights are people like you and me, for precisely these kinds of problems.

"Why work night shift?"
"Does it get boring?"
"What's the most interesting thing you've seen since working here?"

Think about particular elements of your life interactions, and just inquire about them to that person. Let them do the talking, and reflect a few things back.

The hardest part about this is starting out at the very beginning - it gets easier each and every time.

>>722653135
I might try that thanks. Working at night might be a good idea, too.

>>722652278
>>722653135

Don't listen to that dumb faggot.

Use the FORD model man.

First you have to know how to talk and respond to people. Share something about yourself, ask them a question and listen for the response. Then comment on the response/give an opinion, then ask another question.

For topics focus on FORD
Family
Occuption
Recreation
Dreams.

In that order. Talk about your family first, "oh you know that shirt reminds me of my mothers." Or "hey my dad used to do that exact same thing" then go off with that.

When the topic gets cold, move into the next. It's easy and simple.

>>722635604
>Can't see how going from an anxious hermit to an apathetic impotent hermit will help my situation at all.

My god it's like looking in a mirror!

>>722653699
It is a very simple way to start, but it is by no means an EASY feat for someone in your position.

You will be miserable putting yourself into that environment for a while, and might even come out of a few engagements worse for wear.

Whatever you do, DON'T let yourself get discouraged. No matter how anxious, embarrassed, or humiliated you feel after you think you said the wrong thing or presented yourself the wrong way, don't allow yourself to quit from doing it again.

Especially in the first 10 or so trips to a diner or whatever, just keep it simple and short. Ask a question, make a lame dad joke, and move on - it'll feel like a success each time they talk with you and say goodbye on a happy (or maybe even lukewarm) reception.

>>722629208
Stop calling it my anxiety or social phobia. You are using soft language, when people say shit like "it's my anxiety" they are making it out to be something attached to then like a leech that they can't get rid of and when you use soft language you are tricking your brain into thinking there isn't really an issue or you can't deal with it because it's not in your control. You need to tell admit to yourseld why you are uncomfortable around others and that is because you are insecure about who you are or what you look like and that's fine everybody is insecure about something. You need to be hard and honest with yourself, say you are insecure! Let your brain know there's an issue that needs to be fixed!

>>722630425
This verbatim is what finally worked for me after years of suffering from GAD/Panic Disorder. I may have come to this conclusion through numerous drug experiences, but it's the thought that counts!
#fuckthepopulation

Anxiety is focused around a lot of "if" questions within your mind, or at least within my experience. What I do is write down the problem (i.e. What if I fail at this [experience]?) and keep exploring from both perspectives because it is causing my distress (i.e. fear that narrows my perspective that I want to hide from), as by writing the positive and negatives from the question that could happen to evaluate and show me that that my doubts from anxiety are mostly false. That is not to say that the negatives might not be true, as I may very fail at something but IF i keep this perspective in my mind I will go down the pathway to failure. Yet even IF I have a positive perspective I still may fail but then I evaluate when I achieved, what I can do and how far I have come.

>You might not be able to talk to a large group of people, but being able to talk to two people in a group is better than hiding to avoid all engagement from people: perspective is important.

We are all different people, I felt that I did not deserve the experience to succeeded in the end but that is the learning journey of all people. You cannot be the master of something after a single experience, but if you keep reflecting and building upon what you achieved you will get better. Persistence mixed with your passion can be a powerful motivation and drive to keep moving forward that you need to keep moving because when you stop, the depression can set in that you are worthless or undeserving.