How should I go about passing a drug test within the next week

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>>722584685
put synthetic urine in a bottle and pretend it`s tea
>pic related

>>722584685
You're fucked. You do realize they check bags and bottles? Also, hair tests are a lot cheaper nowadays and you can't fake that.

>>722585588
You do realize the urine comes with a leg holder and warmer to keep it realistic...

>>722584685
i smoked the day before getting tested. I think my employers know but dont care.

>>722586777
Thinking the same thing, probably only looking for hard drugs

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>>722585588
you cant test hair if your bald

Fake pee worked for me. Only reliable method.

sometimes it just takes a few months for them to get the results back glhf stupid idiot stoner

>>722587015
This, I think the lead of HR knows that I smoke weed, my boss and coworkers know it but they dont care

>>722587222
you could just ask a friend to pee for you, not a femal e though since they can tell

Go buy some megadetox from gnc

>>722584685
Yup, get one of those ones you strap to your thigh. Worked for my shithead cousin. I may have to give it a shot myself.

>>722587604
I'll look into that, just wasn't sure of the time frame so trying to get a few options

>>722587078
Facebook pleb

>>722584685
wah your hands you filthy faggot

>>722585771
can confirm op. use fake piss from the smoke shop quick fix. put it under your sac in your undies after preparing exactly as stated.

>>722587996
How should I go about getting that in store, my local ones all have those put in the back and have to be asked for. If you ask for it in the wrong terminology they'll reject you

>>722587589
This will work.
Myy buddy pulled this of in court two days ago strapping a condom around his waist with some dudes piss he paid 10$.

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>>722587078
well im taking the bait, hope u take ur pubes, underarm , and nose and ear hairs out they will find some hair somewhere , even eyebrows

>>722587589
actually doesnt matter if its a chicks piss or not

>>722588414
uh i have a test coming up and i need to test do u have any alternative solutions rather than me taking the test myself? alternatively i need some fake piss

>>722588796
seems legit i could work with that

>>722588680
It does

>>722588796
Get a friends dont trust some shady fake piss plus most modern piss test measure the temperature

>>722589032
How could I go about keeping their urine warm for the time in between though?

>>722588976
No it dosn't.

>>722584685
synethic urine is easy, if you're just going in for your run of the mill employment drug test at some lab, you have complete privacy and no chance of getting caught unless you let the piss get too hot or cold. Which shouldn't be a problem because it should stay the right temp for about 4 hours.

>>722588976
If it is for probation it does, but employers are not allowed to test for sex or any diseases, just drugs.

>>722584685
stop doing drugs? idk

>>722589171
Keep the piss in a condom taped your thigh then poke it with a needle

>>722589404
Autism

>>722589415
Seems like a good idea for now, thanks for all the input bro

>>722589171
dont tape that shit in a condom, just get a small travel containter from cvs/walgreens and keep it in a cup of hot water u get from 7-11 on the way to ur destination, get a thermometor and make sure that its not -/+ 5 degrees from 98 before u get to the testing facility,

from that point keep it in ur gooch under ur balls, the empty it into the testing container when ur :"test" ez done this multiple times and have a gov/t job atm

>>722589593
if you think that's a good idea then you are clearly retarded

Drink your weight in cranberry juice and hope for the best.

>>722584685
Well you can always do what i did back when i worked as a tradie. Synthetic piss is a scam and you have to keep it a body temp. Find a friend willing to help you out and get them to piss into a small pill container. make sure the cap is on fucking good or this shit can kill you. Tie some string around the bottle then lube it up and put it in your ass like a tampon. By having it up there it will stay at body temp, (thats the first thing they test). When you go to give the test whip it out fill up the cup then top it up with some of your own for good measure if its looking empty. They small amount of cannabanoids shouldn't make the test go awol with your own piss. Good luck my friend.

>>722589593
Glad i could help out /b/ro goodluck

>>722589867
>worst idea in the thread
>help
pick 1

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Get one of these fake dicks instead of a bottle

>>722590030
I'm just fielding options here lol

>>722590100
brown skin , white dick

>seems legit

>>722589654
This plan worker for two days ago at a courthouse with to of my buddies and they got it the piss from my neighbor i seen them the day after they would have had to do a year inpatient rehab.

>>722590275
holy fuck, can we get an English translation, please?

>>722590030
A method i seen work 2 days ago against the majority jus saying buy fake piss which is a well know scam.

>>722590214
She's not gonna grab your dick and probe it. If that were the case I'd be taking drug tests every day

>>722590688
Jus decifer it faggot

>>722584685
op still hasnt said whether this is for parole/probation or pre employment, all these fake dick shits oh noe its piss form a girl wont mean shit if its regular pre emplotyment

>>722591529
pre-employment

>>722591529
Its probably a saliva test for some walmart job op is tweaking about

>>722584685
gallon of water a day, lots of antioxidants (cranberry juice, low sugar), cardio daily, and less foods with trans fat and fat in general, one week is plenty of time. swab or urine, that is should be out within a solid 4 - 5 days.

>>722591902
5 panel urine test.
Welding job.
Only tweakers use the word "tweaking"

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>>722585588
That Dub squared tho

>>722584685
>I've smoked at least a 5 times a week for the past few months.

You're pretty much dicked on that front

>Currently looking at synthetic urine for a guaranteed pass

Lot of testing labs know what to look for to see if its synthetic. or they'll just send someone in to watch you piss

>>722587604
detox is mostly bullshit. your body processes THC metabolites on its own terms

>>722585588
>hair tests

no one really bothers with that short of a job that requires security clearance.

>>722586777
>>722587015
DOT doesn't test for pot maybe you just got DOT test

>>722589370
employers can test for fake piss by using sex by asking the clinic to do it but it would cost extra and drug tests are usually not super cheap to begin with.

>>722592476
this is not legal, synthetic urine will pass.

buy quickfix directly from the company, verify the batch, and follow the instructions. you will pass everytime.

>>722592476
HR fag here, depends on what test and who does it. The disposable pee in the cup ones are like $5 each, ones where they actually ship it to a lab are obviously more but the cost is worth it for the employer, it's usually around $50.

>>722592088
>welding job

i bet they don't give a flying fuck about pot, they just want to know you're not a methhead or heroin junkie

>>722593595
i'll take that bet. now you owe me $20.

>>722584685
Smoke even more and hope you break the test equipment.

>>722593595
depends. high paying welding almost always test for pot.

>>722594543
lol

>>722584685
Just do drugs and fucking tell them.
You dont give a shit , about there worthless corpses.

>>722595186
dk if such reverse psychology is right for this situation

op is fcked

>>722584685
If you can, just run sinkwater into the urine cup. Usually they don't notice and don't test the urine unless it comes up dirty on the rainbow.