story time /b/ >I got a story for you guys. Back in college

>>722552209
Dude,how to grammar

bumpin

Continue...im intrigued as to where this going

Just do the dinosaur already you fucking faggot

>After a few days, in which she kept acting really weird, I get a call from a guy in one of my classes that I played PS3 with once or twice. He calls me in tears, saying he fucked up and he's been banging my girlfriend for 3 months, and he's fed up with lying. Granted, he shows me nude pics of her, timestamped and all that. I am absolutely furious.

>Skipping the whole facebook-gym-lawyer thing, I get home and start getting my shit together in order to be able to kick her out without any problem. I really didn't want this sex addicted bitch in my life any longer. In the middle of making a small inventory of the shit she brought into the house, I get a text from her.

>"I'm pregnant"

>>722552977
shit's getting juicy

>>722552977
>I barely remember what I did next, because I was practically blacking out from rage. I could excuse - not forgive, though - the cheating, but scheming against me like this was too low for me to accept. I knew immediately what she was planning so I looked through the trash and found a bundled up condom, along with its wrapper. I fished it out and put it away carefully, then waited for the bitch to get home.

>Of course she's crying like a bitch. I keep calm. I can see through her lies. "I think it happened when we bare dogged it last night", she says. "I want to keep the baby." She's smiling, saying I'd make a great dad.

>A few minutes into her play, I drop the bomb. "I know about [friend name, censored for privacy]. I want to break up. I don't care if you're really pregnant or not, I want you out."

>At this point I can see in her eyes she's sad she's been caught rather than anything else. She bursts into a fit of rage and accuses ME of cheating on her, of being sex-obsessed (!). When I thought it would simply be a matter of physically kicking her out, she says she can prove it's mine (somehow) and if I don't support her financially she'll press charges for rape. She's throwing all these legal terms at me, saying she'll press charges for everything (whatever that meant) and that she'll ruin my life.

>I snap. I push her against a wall and start screaming at her. "Bitch, I found the condom. I know what you did. I don't give a fuck about you anymore, but you've known me enough to realize you can't fuck with me like this. I don't care if you have a baby or not and I don't care whose it is, but it's not mine, and if you dare to get me in legal trouble using this 'baby' of yours I will personally rip it out of you."

You don't need to greentext entire paragraphs

>>722553426
bump

>>722553426
>"Im pregnant!"
>"I found the condom!"
OP that kid is your son.

>>722553426
should i cont??

>>722555254
yeh, even if this is obvs bs

>>722554878
kek

>I was shocked at what I'd said but I kept my cool. She was bawling her eyes out, and manages to choke out a "sorry".

>"I'm sorry. I won't press any charges. I'll just leave. But I need ONE thing."
"What the hell is it?"

>"I need...I need bout tree fiddy."

>It was at this point that I realized my girlfriend was a three story high crustacean from the paleolithic era.

>"Goddamn you, Loch Ness monster, I ain't giving you no tree fiddy!" I yelled as she swam out into the sunset.
for my one viewer

>>722555254
Do you rip the fucking baby out or not OP? hurry up.

>>722555512
stale OP. too stale.

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>>722555512

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>>722555512 OP is faggot

>>She persists and insists that even though she fucked up that she is indeed pregnant and she knows that for 2 weeks she didn't cheat and it was more than likely mine.
>>Look up the dates and its right...it is mine. Start shitting bricks because I am not in love with her and nowhere ready to be a daddy
>>Talk abortion but she doesn't budge
>>HaveAnIdea.jpg
>>Attempt to seduce her and make her think I love her and promise that later on in life we'll have a kid.
>>She asks to fuck again. Takes off all her clothes. Fuck she's so fun to fuck. Put my hands on her hips and pull her close.
>>Drop to my knees and open my mouth
>>Put her feminine penis in my mouth and realize that she can't be pregnant and have a penis even though she's all I need.
>>Realize that I'm OP and a total absolute faggot.

>>722554878
.... Shit, anon.

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>>722555512
Fucking queer

>>722555512
Nice meme, faggot. Kys