Why are you so hateful/cynical/negative anon? Let's talk

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Bumping with bullshit

>>722505272
Pessimistic. It's a defense mechanism for being fucked with too much in my youth. Outwardly, I'm probably a nice, quiet person. It's because I don't expect anything from anyone anymore.

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One last bump

>>722505382
Do you mean like bullying type fucked with or home issues type fucked with?

>>722505272
Because I hate myself

>>722505272
My father remarried when I was six and my stepmother was a hateful bitch; she choked me, hit me, banished me to my room, all when my father was away (usually army reserves training). Kinda made me accept that I wasn't welcome, still feel that way today, so I show it as hostility and irritation.

>>722505587
Why man? Everyone has some redeeming qualities, it's looking past the bad and making the good flourish that matters.

Makes me enjoy stuff that i truly think is good more. Id like to imagine that picking things apart, and being cynical about minor flaws helps me get a better picture on things and look deeper than just settling with whatever.

>>722505446
Just too many one sided relationships. Family, friends, girlfriends. In business terms, shitty investments.

Grew up with an abusive father when he would drink n smoke crack i would get beat. My mother sobered him up then he got all cristian straightedge and viewed me as the devil. My mom soon left after that so im stuck with him until i can afford a place of my own to move myself in with my sisters cas i cant leave them with him.

>>722505650
That's actually some decent logic, except I feel like you'd miss out on shit that's mildly good by decompiling it into its various shit and nonshit aspects, no?

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>>722505587
this

>>722505272
Because "people" still think real socialism hasn't been tried.

>>722505721
Jeez man, I hope someday I read your story in a feel good greentext. Best of luck

>>722505272
>hateful
Generally, I'm not. But I do believe there are people whom the world would be better off without (myself included).
>cynical
Experience
>negetive
Crippling insecurities

>>722505648
That's true. It's just hard to actually believe that and put it into practice than to just know it's true, if that makes sense

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>>722505803
Or you know, low levels of dopamine or some shit just sucks the color out of the world.

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I think because my dad put me down my whole life. Never full on abusive, although there were quite a few times he would get very aggressive/angry.

Always being told I wasn't good enough (at school/behaviour etc.) has perhaps made some part of my self convinced that i'm not good enough.

Then, by extension of this, as we tend to see a reflection of ourselves in other people, nobody else is ever good enough either. -_-

all I want is pic related.

>>722505803
No man I totally get that, it's only like 3 years now of counseling that I'm starting to judge people less harshly, myself included. Next time you're having a really shitty thought process, ask yourself: "is this a useful thought"

>>722505963
I'll try that, thanks.

>>722505890
True

>>722505776
Thanks /b/ro i have a feelin things are turning around for the first time in awhile but after that i just cant let go off the hatred i hold towards him.

>>722505906
I feel that, I project my feelings of not being wanted at home on my social life.

>>722505727
Well i still stumble upon decent things, as for movies for example you just have to watch decent stuff at times. But usually ill just enjoy picking it apart more than the actual watching of it. And then the process of hating on it is just as enjoyable.

>>722505963
>Next time you're having a really shitty thought process, ask yourself: "is this a useful thought"
This is actually really great advice. I'm actually gonna use it. Thanks

>>722506066
Like I told the other anon, ask yourself " is this hatred useful?" And if it's fueling you to butter your and your sisters lives, don't let that shit go. Try and reconcile a few years down the road, when you're out of that shit scenario and you don't have to be around it.

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>>722505272
I just wrote my suicide note. This has been the highlight of the last few years. I don't have any other options left.. I'm tired of being miserable. My whole life I've waited for "things to be okay" they never were okay, and I can't keep waiting for this aweful feeling in my stomach and lungs to go away.

>>722506187
Better* fucking phone.

>>722505272

A lifetime of disappointment fueled by unrealistic expectations of the world. My own fault, really.

I don't call it negative, I call it realistic. Everyone else seems to call it negative though

>>722506198
Have you sought professional help? Sometimes that's all you can do my dude. Don't let that note be what you leave behind. Live your life, make something of it. If you can't better your own life, try and better others. You'd be surprised how it feels.

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>>722506277
>>722505671
This >>722506198

>>722506187
>And if it's fueling you to butter your and your sisters lives

Didn't know Paula Deen was a therapist

>>722506277
It's cause most people are taught that thoughts like that aren't welcome, and they shun them as being bad. They're indicators at worst, personality traits at best.

>>722506337
Hey man Gboard autocorrect is dicks.

>>722505906
Woah are you me i was never good enough in my fathers eyes since 10 years old the lack of confidence and self esteem this leads to can be horribly it completely ruined highschool for me constantly walking on eggshell around the house ahen hes there living with someone like that just want to spread their dissatisfaction with their own life onto everyo e else.

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>>722506290
I'll act on my suicidal thoughts before I let them take my mind... Believe me, this note is simply explaining don't be sad, this is all I ever wanted... I'm tired of my life only benefiting others, I have to do one thing for myself. I'm tired of thinking.

>>722505272

Cause I can.

/thread fags.

>>722506448
If you truly think that's your best option, sleep on it. Wake up tomorrow and see how you feel. Maybe make an appointment with someone who can listen to you.

>>722506187
I often wonder if i could ever reconcile even years after my entire childhood ruined the constNt put downs and fist fights. This is a hatred so deeply rooted i do t think there is anything i could do to let it go.

>>722506384
As long as you know your father is the shithead here. You're probably a good dude, be secure in that.

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>>722506507
I appreciate your advice anon, I've wanted nothing but for life to change since I was... able to walk.. and it won't change you know? in first grade was my only real suicide attempt, it was pathetic, but it was funny in a way. My next one I won't fuck up... I can't feel like this forever you know?

>>722506560
All I'm saying is, I wouldn't even bother trying to let it go until you can block him from your life entirely.

>>722506590
Have you sought legit help? I mean I can give advice but I'm just another anon. Counseling helps my dude, so does medication.

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>>722506507
I said I can't do one more day of this, and then 7 years went by... one more night lol... srs thanks for the advice.. but all I've done is sleep on this..
>>722506590
I used to play games with kids outside, they'd be laughing and smiling and having fun, and I'd be doing the actions wondering when I would feel the fun too. I'm just a sad fuckin shit of a human. Somehow I've actually kept people around me though, a shitty girlfriend and family.. for their sakes I should have been honest. But I've always hidden how I feel because I'm a fake bitch. its why I need to leave this note. They need to understand I've never been happy, and never will be here, I'm tired of letting myself, down and others letting me down... but mostly I'm just tired of thinking, I'm tired of this language, and I'm fuckin done with this clock.

I am full of hate because the world's weird as fuck. It's becoming normal to fuck men in the ass but you can't complain about the damned Jews.

>>722506721
Buddy you've probably just got some low dopamine levels. Try and fix it instead of coping or ending it.

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>>722506665
I medicate myself heavily every day.. it's the only thing I can do to stop myself from literally hurting my loved ones. But no.. I can't get legit help, I'll be marked a psycho, a drug addict. I'm fucked enough as it is.. I know now I'mnot like the some of the other idiots on this site who feel as I do. I genuinely have no intention of hurting people who have done nothing/or even something to me.. I don't plan to hurt anyone but myself ya know? I accidentally did hurt someone in self defense christmas... but that's another story , but it added to my depression.

>>722506563
Wow you hit it on the spot and i am a good person even after all the bs ive been through thanks for listening to my fucked story anon made me feel better

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>>722506795
all I'm saying is my entire life I've wanted something to want.. and eventually I find something to want, eventually I achieve it. And ya know? its meaningless to me.. it makes the people around me happy, and that's the only reward I get is watching others be happy.

>>722506818
You'll be hurting everyone in your life if you take the last sleep, trust me man, suicide doesn't help anything.

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>>722506874
Everyone in my life has done what's best for themselves hurting me in the process. It'd be alot like that. I can't sleep as it is.. that last sleep would mean I don't have to listen to their shit any more.

>>722506857
No prob dude, have a good day

>>722506616
Youre right there is no letting go i jus need to move out glad i got some perspective this is the first time ive ever told anyone about it and suprisingly b came thru with slme good advice

>>722505368
Ew.

>>722505272
where do you live? bizarro earth? because this place fucking sucks duh.

Doctor: you have adjustment disorder
me: you mean something wrong with my environment
doctor: something you can't adjust to
me: something I've never had a problem with in 25 years and came up suddenly with no other identifying symptoms yet its more likely my brain suddenly shat then i dont like getting assfucked?
doctor: yes

oh and everyone is fake. so believe nothing, hope for nothing, and trust no one literally hurts less. At least its a constant pain instead of a wildly spinning yoyo.

>>722506665
bad counseling cuts deep and so do water pills and false hope.

>>722507620
thanks anon... this is real.

>>722506795
>seven years
>probably a quick fix

damn you're all just like most shit psychiatrists

>>722507681
if you want more real im here...waiting to not be in pain anymore. feeble promises to long dead folks the only thing i bargain with.

>>722507766
>>722507931
I like where this is going. yea anon enlighten me please, I'll listen to anything at this point. In a world I can do anything, I chose to do nothing for a reason..

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>>722507931
enlightens the wrong word, I'm just really outta it, I'm down to hear some real.

>>722507931
powerful numbing agent, syringes, hand sharpened box cutter and ten gallon rubbermaid container
>>722508003
no one likes where this goes. it only feels good the same way pissing your pants keeps you warm. no one that feels this way wants anyone to feel the same.

ama

I used to say that i hate myself but im so lost now. I dont k ow why im sad and why im angry anymore. Ive been living like a robot for so long and nobody has noticed. I hate the people in my life that consider me a friend when they dont bother to know me. Im such a loser. I just want to start a new. Please save me

>>722508204
i aint gonna cut myself, I'll just find a nice bridge or building, in 15 days I can get a shotgun, but 15days of misery. I got a lot of opiates tho anon, believe me my pain will be mental until the end..I guess I could helium myself high on opi.

>>722508394
take a walk in the woods and write about. for a year. if you last that long AND it doesn't work get back to me.

(that means no internet, tv, and limited phone. chances are excellent not even one of you will do it)

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>>722506066
you don't need to forgive him, just don't let your hatred distort your views of other people and yourself, don't obsess over it. he's just a man with issues, how he sees you is definitely not how other people will see you. i hope you can start truly living and loving soon.

>>722508440
i ain't leaving a mess bud. plus the shit i have is simple to maintsin, easy to acquire, and inconspicuous as seperate items. 15 days really? you can plan that far out? damn man.im sorry. send me some pain pills please. well no on second thought my kidneys will only shut down faster unless you mean GREAT pain pills.

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>>722508582
>>722508582
ive spent my life in the woods anon... I just now got my hands on technology, fuck going back to chopping wood and carrying water, I want to die already bra, not go back to the stoneage wanting to die. that wasn't fun.

>>722508825
Why were you in the woods?

>>722508825
are you the anon im responding to?
1. probably not
2. be constructive fuckhead. its already a suicide thread no one needs your panty whining.

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>>722508779
I uh, use poppy paste it's a fat combo of morphine codiene, papaverine and thebaine. you could do it yourself pretty easy.

>>722508963
Hey im the anon who wrote what you replied. Thank you for reading it but why the woods? Have you experienced living in the woods?

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i know too much about the world to have any kind of optimism.

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>>722508906
lol my family moved to Tenmile Oregon when I was young they didn't realize they were setting themselves up with 30 acres in themiddle of no where an hour away from civilization, no water most seasons shitty micky mouse electrical setups, leaky home, and the best part was the insulation on our trailer home was GOD AWEFUL THANKS POPS FOR THINKING ABOUT THAT WHILE MOVING LOLOLOL so we adapted. My african refugee friends had it better than me.
>>722508963 fuckkkk you

>>722509020
yep. because its quiet and there aren't any rules except don't burn it down.

>>722509107
I was thinking about joining the airforce and leave everyone. If i join ill disconnect all my connections and give no one my contact info

>>722509107
you are a fucking snot nosed shit shovel. I hope you get implosive gonorrhea

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>>722509192
I used to have ideas like that, do it. if you can.

>>722509199

>>722509086
knowing things is the ONLY reason I'm optimistic anymore

learn more. it gets better

>>722509133
I dont know if itll help me with my mental issues. I just dont know what will at this point

>>722509275
that's how I feel. I feel like death now. I hope you don't come to my feeling.

>>722509241
im insulting a faggot. what do you do...fancy them?

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>>722509270
>learn more. it gets better

>>722509241
Im thinking about it. In may ill turm 20 but ive thrown a few years of my life just helping people out. I just want to break free but i feel like im not confident enough. Btw thank you for replying

>>722509302
If had thoughtsbof suicide and gad mental breakdowns. I just sleep after i cry and wake up in two hours and go to work like nothing has ever happened and do it over again.

>>722509275
>>722509302
non depressed/experienced person: Do this

every depressed person ever: I don't wanna

no shit. that's depression. it hurts before it feels better. if you dont want it...better just start planning your alternative

>>722509354
post the original artwork. its much more supportive. but thanks...exact thing in my minds eye

awww mods dont be gay....i only have half an hour left to myself....pleeeease?

thank ya

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>>722506489
Did you just /thread yourself
Have you no shame?

>>722509861
Ill join you in spirit anon

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>>722510009
thanks man

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fuck ill bump why not
for people that can't leave house/room
1/2

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>>722510373

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people do use this

>what is psychological narcissism

That explains everything. Basically shitting on everything to feel a little better about oneself.

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study these only so you can understand them and not be victimized. not so you can rattle off fallacy names or use it on people who arent talking to you

>>722510736
>shit rolls downhill

so you're talking about everyone in existence... right?

>>722510811

Shit list, very badly defined, causing intense damage.

Consider this, appeal to authority; because this definition forgets to say that the fallacy consists in appealing to an authority about A to make an argument about B made it so that every moron on 4chan now thinks ALL authorities are fallacies.

>quoting Einstein about poetry = fallacy
>quoting Einstein about physics = fine

It's only when it's not their field of expertise.

I know channers who literally cannot argue anything but will list the fallacies they think they see, even if they can't prove it, like it's a fucking counter spell.

>FALLACUM HOKUS POKUS IN YOUR MOUTH

>>722510736
>psycology
>basically/in summary


Discarded

>>722510974
if it's shit please add more useful things

everyone has fucked me over at some point...mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, lawyers. people are just so weak and selfish

>>722511005

>thinks psychology isn't real

Boy, are you in for a major surprise if ANYTHING isn't exactly perfect in your life. Narcs generally live their whole lives without discovering the truth they hide from themselves. I personally know a bunch.

>when life becomes weirder than movies

Read about Borderline Personality Disorder and discover a whole new world. You won't be disappointed, though you won't believe it. I have MET and lived with BPD people for years: it's all true.

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truer words there are not

I'm not, I'm perfectly reasonable. Most other people are just too stupid to recognise most of the bullshit around them.

For example, they watch the same formatted movies with the same tired jokes, but still find it hilarious. I just don't get it.

>>722511231
you're a fucking child. dont respond cause i wont

>>722511293
are they stupid? or not depressed? THIS is narcissism.

>>722511328
>you're a fucking child.

Because I know more than you?

>>722511328
>dont respond cause i wont

Because you have nothing else to say?

Did you check on wiki and get triggered like a Tumblr faggot because it basically described you and now you know your life is a lie?

>>722510974
>FALLACUM HOKUS POKUS IN YOUR MOUTH

this is the double fallacy with extra cheese but no fries fallacy.

nice try faggot.

Because I feel like shit all the time, so what other people think is negative is just reality for me.

>>722511460
>Because I know more than you?

this is the the more you know reverse cowgirl fallacy.

try again Einstein.

>>722511293
>Most other people are just too stupid to recognise most of the bullshit around them.

You are in error. They recognise it just as much as you do, but they don't think it's worth getting upset over: they enjoy what they can and discard what they can't care for. Why don't you do the same? Probably because you're a narcissist too and take comfort in shitting on things instead of enjoying them.

>>722511414
It's not narcissism you fuckwit. I'm not depressed and I recognise shit for what it is

>>722511506

>I won't respond
>responds anyway

Don't bother pretending it wasn't you.

I still have no idea why you thought my post was childish, however. Clarify if you can.

>>722511129
sorry guy. time to try and puff your chest and start dragging your heavy hands. no one cares about you except you and your higher power. Its depressing yes...but think on it....its liberating.

when you're ready to outgrow that advice youll know it

>>722511509
I don't get upset over it though, I just don't enjoy it. I get bored incredibly quickly and hate others not seeing how ridiculous things actually are. It's frustration anon.

>>722511530
or you're euphoric. best of luck hating everything. its the surest sign you suffer a condition when its mention offends you. have a good day friend.

>>722511488
gotta understand depressed privelege. makes no fucking sense unless you want friends

>>722511679
Just let me get my fedora.
Where did I say I hate everything?

>>722511530
>It's not narcissism you fuckwit

The main thing with narcs is that they don't think they're narcs; it's a built-in principle of the disorder. Narcs hide it from themselves, otherwise they'd crumble if they realised why they were behaving this way.

Do a test and answer honestly, see what happens, if you dare.

>most narcs won't dare, you probably won't either

>>722511555
>don't pretend it wasn't you titling fallacies after you specifically said not to do that before this conversation.


real full of yourself

>>722511602
>hate others not seeing how ridiculous things actually are. It's frustration anon.

That's where something's wrong. This shouldn't affect you in the least. The fact that it does is something you should dig into.

>>722511602
>i know exactly what everything is and i hate all of it

most all of history's geniuses were devoted artists who had a zest for life. youre just a curmudgeon

>>722511786
>reverse psychology for dummies

Stop trying to discount my points by discrediting me. It's pointless ad hominem.

>>722511782
>tell me the things i dont understand. I demand it.

No.

>>722505272
im too smart for the average people, and they dont amuse me at all, i need adventure/adrenaline to even feel something, im handstome too but i dont like sex without feelings, ill never be loved

>>722511834
NO

>>722511920
And you're implausibly stupid

>>722512032
damn you guys just can't stand a thread you can't participate in. I wanna die and I'm not even that much of an angry shit.

>>722512084
you're welcome to discard whatever you want. dont have to be a dweeb unless you cant help it i guess

you guys really run out of tricks when people don't argue huh? I wonder if arguing is really that influential....

Cynicism is just a logical worldview in my opinion. I don't hate people (unless I'm in a specific mood); I just assume that the odds are they're going to be shitheads and ignore them.

As for the negativity? How about the fact that every goddamn human interaction is basically a pretence so as not to be considered an outcast? How about the fact that my exhausting anxiety makes me question nearly every single word spoken in the wrong tone? Or the fact that my mental states change so drastically that making anything close to a friend would be a bad idea to start with?

But anyway, sucks as it does, I don't go around making my problem's everyone else's, and that's where my obligation ends.

>>722512127
boo hoo i wanted to die like 10 times before you, fuck you dude

>>722512349
Problems*

>>722505272
I'm not. I've actually become a more compassionate person in the time I've spent on /b/.

>>722512350
fuck you too, bro

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>>722512422
fucking nice. probably a coincidence but take it.

>>722512422
Fucking kek.

>>722512349
hey brotha