I need serious advice /b/ This kid might fight me. Not sure

>>722461339
Get the first punch, always get the first punch.

You need to punch him in the throat. He can't resist when you ass-rape him if he can't breath. Also next step is raping his ass.

>>722461551
Thanks lad. Should I attempt a blow to his head?

>>722461728
I would but
>inb4 jailed for Manslaughter

I train in kickboxing. Just keep your hands up in front of your face at all times. If youre on the heavier side taking him down and getting on top of him will be your best bet.

Just remember keep those hands up and if you get a good tag on him go for his legs and try to bring him down and get on top.

>>722461339
>be me
>kid
MODS

>>722461828
I'll take that in. I've always been told that tackling someone should be my last resort (if losing)

This true or bullshit?

>>722461892
GET MYSELF OUT OF HERE

>>722461339
Serious advice:
Don't freak out, try to remain calm.

You WILL get hit and it WILL hurt. Focus through that initial pain.

Don't attempt to throw a haymaker, it rarely works. They are also easy to counter.

However, don't pull punches, if you're going to punch, then go all out.

Punches to the body will be more likely to land.

Look up how to hold your first, you don't want to hurt yourself trying to hurt him.

If he initiates, most people are right handed and will swing instead of jab, try to throw your arm up to block it.

Watch your stance. If you stand funny, you can fall. If he hits you right, you can fall.

Always keep your guard up.

You're most likely not going to win but don't make it a spectacular ass whoopin'

Listen to me carefully, OP.

If you need to get tips on how to fight, this is the most important one you will ever get.

Don't get into one.

Seriously. If you have no idea how to take a punch, block, kick, or when and how to throw the first one and get it over with, just walk off.

If it's guaranteed he's going to try to fight you, play dirty and go for his eyes first, then his ears. Then land as many kicks as you can to his balls, and slam his head into something heavy.

Then get up and walk off, and don't look back. Seriously. Do not hang around. Don't gloat. Just go.

Get knife

choke him

And if he's going to try to corner you, here's what you do: take the fight to him. Take him off guard, ask him why. If he says "blah blah blah pussy" that's when you say, "I don't want to fight you."

And taser him in the nuts.

>>722461339
first of all, don't act like you give a shit that some rando kid might fight you, because its probably bullshit. Either a stupid rumor or the kid is just talking big.

Secondly, if the kid really does want to fight you, don't play with him. Fuck his ass right the hell up. Don't listen to assholes to give you some bullshit code of honor regarding fights. Hit him right in the dick, as hard as you can.

3rd, don't make the first "move." Which doesn't mean let him hit you first, but don't get involved with any pre-fight displays. Pushing, shoving, shit talking, any of that. Let him act like a chimp, and you just stand there as ready as can be.

Once he touches you though, even for a shove, fucking Attack, because as the Law states, once someone else has "laid hands" on you, you are within your full right to kick the ever loving shit out of them.
>That's a trick drill sergeants use to enforce dicipline, never touch a drill sergeant.

Aside from that, no amount of tips or advice will really help in a fight, unless you train extensively all that information will fly right out the window once the adrenaline hits.

>>722462149
This advice is great. Thank you lad.

I have a few questions, if you don't mind.

How can I properly hold my fist? I've heard to let it slightly open, then close it and follow through as I land it.

Standing up straight will knock me down, keep knees bent and one foot back, right?

Not sure if other cunts may join. Any tips on that?

I'm not planning to fight, but if I have to, I'm only doing it in defense. Thanks anon.

>>722462401
Heres a quick story, for everyone who's curious.

This girl had a really nice body, so I told my friend.
>good lookin
>tells friend
>call girl over
>going to joke about friend saying something about her
>wasn't going to
>friend told her what i said
>WAHTTHEFUCK.exe
>girl tells friends
>friends tell her boyfriend
>bf gets mad
>challenges me to fight
>deny
>says he'll meet me in cafeteria
>having real bad feeling about tomorrow

>>722462357
If only I had a taser. Will a 1911 .45 do? (Also, happy birthday to the 1911 :D)

Drop your pants and scream like a psycho, that'll getem for sure

>>722462503
>Not sure if other cunts may join. Any tips on that?
pray they don't? There's not a whole lot you can do if a bunch gang up on you besides run like fuck. Even trained martial artists can get beat down by a group of a few untrained men.

If you really think a group is going to jump you I recommend the dangerous tactic of escalation. A kid once told me he was going to jump my ass after school because I had got into a fight with his faggot friend, and he was going to bring all his other friends too. So I told him i'd bring a bat with me. He scoffed, but I wasn't playing and he could tell. Carried one with me to school the next day, told teachers I was gonna play baseball after school. That kid never showed his fucking face around me again.

>>722462983
Haha! Great story my man.

Shit, I should've done this way sooner.
>inb4 they bring guns
>CNN, 6 Pm news
>Anon reported dead after what appears to be a gang related fight.

>>722462503

Just google "how to hold a fist". I can explain it but if you're really going to fight I would rather you see it and copy it.

Knees slightly bent, legs spread. One leg slightly behind, fists up, next to your face and with a slight lean forward.

I've only been in two fights with more than one opponent. Best advice I can give is focus on one. If you get lucky and beat him they might back down.

If you don't and they won't stop. Try to flee. Those odds are bad. If you're down, then fucking turtle.

Best tip: Don't fight. If you do, keep your head.

befriend a bigger badder mother fucker, it sounds like a cliche but it fucking works.

>>722461339
Get a big can of pepperspray and spray the fuck out of everyone present at fight (except yourself).
Then,grab the nearest hard object and hit everyone all over their bodies (don't use your fists and legs because it leaves marks).

OP here.

Thanks for everything guys, Let's hope it doesn't get serious tomorrow.

I'm leaving the board for I have finished my goals to have learned. Have a good night, Anons.

(Pornhub Premium is free tonight only!)

File: frank151_renzo_gracie_the_rear_naked_choke.jpg (764KB, 800x1067px) Image search: [Google]

764KB, 800x1067px

Here you go.

>>722462801
Hahaha holy shit! That guy is insecure as fuck!

Setting up a fight just because someone thinks your girlfriend is cute is another level of insecurity.

Don't worry about it that much, that idiot is:
a) A big talking guy who wants to look mighty in front of everyone else an secretly hopes you chicken out of the fight because he doesn't actually know how to fight
b) A big asshole who thinks trowing punches around is fighting, these can be fucked up if you exploit his weak points: nuts, nose (watch your punch, you don't want to break a hand) and stomach (aim for diaphragm).

One punch in any of those palces can finish the fight on place, but if adrenaline acts up and he goes berserk you might want to throw a couple more punches, mix these three places for better results.

>>722462401
This man is wise. So many fights have been won by the party that shouldn't have won because he's expecting you to lose. He isn't starting a rumor and talking shit because he's scared, he thinks he'll look cool winning a fight and against a tubby kid, he's not worried.

As soon as he touches you, move in like the other anon said. Don't talk or pussy foot around. And the guy screaming unfair fight is the one on the ground every time. I don't advise going for eyes because that's permanent damage that can land you in legal trouble. But those balls, and the gut, and ears are fucking fair game man.

He's athletic, you're not, but if you're even close to the same height, try to wrestle him down. Wrap your inner elbow around his throat, and lock your hand in place with your other arm, if he's stronger and breaks your grip, you land as many body shots as you can on his kidneys and stomach. Face shots are what everyone wants to see, but in an unskilled brawl, body shots are what win it 9/10 times

kick him in the balls

File: b73spwiz8oey.jpg (99KB, 720x960px) Image search: [Google]

99KB, 720x960px

There is only one way to ensure victory.

If you have never been in a fight, be prepared to lose. Use his weaknesses to your advantage.

Does his leg have support, did he have any previous broken bones, is he right or left handed, does he have training for fighting, if he lifts does he skip leg day?

You have no idea how many fights I've won because the big guy NEVER did leg day.

>>722463935
>This
Chokehold man. Doesn't matter how strong or tough you are, if you can get your arm around his neck (easier than you might think in a fight) then you can just squeeze and squeeze and make him go sleepy time.

>>722463628
>Needs advise from /b for a fight
>Leaves to go fap to "Premium" porn

I hope you get the shit beat out of you tomorrow. Something tells me you deserve it.

Bring a hammer with you

>>722461339
Use your weight as an advantage

>>722461339
Get a knife. Dont stab him at the first chance you get. Stab him at the best chance you get. Even if you take some punches. Go for the throat.
Then go to jail and get buttraped.

>>722461339
Hide a can of beans in your trenchcoat and, when he runs at you, hurl it into his chest.

>>722464636
>BEAN BOY STRIKES AGAIN
You gotta have a one liner. When you bludgeon in his skull with the can you gotta yell
>I'M THINKING ABOUT THEM BEANS

>>722464596
this, golden advice, just as golden as the showers you're getting in prison.

File: download.jpg (52KB, 536x400px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 536x400px

>>722464636
>Hide a can of beans

Nigga are you retarded?

>>722464779
It's "thos" beans

>>722461339
Wear a ring and hit the side of his nose. He'll get dizzy quick with loss of blood.

File: tom-cruise-reaction-crazy-laughing-face-1357927657h.jpg (73KB, 630x891px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 630x891px

>>722464636
What the fuck is wrong with you

Let him hit you then press assualt charges on him. He will have have a hard time getting a decent job later in life.

>>722464855
wouldn't it "These" if you're holding the can in your hand when you say it?

>>722463935
THIS

Body shots and unfair fighting
Charlie horse him, Kick him in the shins, the instep, the ankle, smash his hands, twist his wrists.

Grab his hair and smash his head into something. Knee him in the face, the gut, the balls, whatever it takes.
If you go down, try not to be the one on bottom. If you are, keep your elbows at a 45 degree angle from you and keep landing as many body shots as possible.

Strike for the neck, the collarbone, the side of the ribs, and the side of the face.

>>722465083
just say I;m thinking about thahs beans" and toss the bitch

>>722461339
Protip: Bring a gun.

>>722464636
I'm seriously about to vomit from laughing at this

>>722464636
it would be more effective to tie the can to a piece of rope so you get more acceleration in your can

>>722461817
No, don't get the first punch. Use self defense.

>>722465372
Or you could just bring multiple cans hit him multiple times.

Get a bandoleer and stuff it full of bean cans.

Punch him first. Definitely!!

>>722465529
Kek!!!!!! What the fuck is a bandoleer?!

>>722461339

You get a crowbar of some sort. Store it in your backpack, or if you have metal detectors in your school, save it some place near your school that you can easily run to and get once shit starts hitting the fan.

Now, the point isn't actually to start bashing heads in. The point is to pull that shit out and give the most believable psycho grim you can possible give.

Knee, punch, kick, bite his balls. This isn't an mma match, you aren't getting graded on you form and execution. In a street fight anything goes. As a kid I got my ass kicked regularly for being a nerd/geek. I never won any of the fights but I was able to bring some of the beatings to an end by getting a good shot to their balls.

>>722461339
>back hand chop to wind pipe
>head butt to nose hard

>>722465674
its one of them belts you wear across your chest to hold bullets if you're some sorta bandito

Never tried this but if I could go back to my middle school bullies, I'd try it.
>kick in the knee
Not sideways (left or right) but inwards, with forearms blocking your face, in case of counter-attack.
I know what you're thinking, but would he see it coming?
...unless you're really fast, you could trick him/her into thinkng you're throwing a roundhouse punch, but it's really a hook.

>>722461339
Put some coins in a sock and have it in your back pocket
When he comes to fight you pull it out and wack him on the side of his. If he don't go down first blow keep on wacking him until the sock breaks and the coins come flying out.
Believe me he won't bother you again

>>722465862
That's a fukin awesome idea!! That's exactly what I would do!!

Make fist with bic lighter in hand. Bic lighters contor perfectly inside your hand, keeps you from fucking your hand up

How many bean cans do you have??

The most important thing imho is to gain respect so it won't happen again from him or any one. So to do that you have to stand your ground a bit and remember even if you get hurt to hurt him at least a little. If folks know they have even a chance of getting hurt or even beaten they will leave alone. Failing that go crazy, even tough guys don't need with crazy...

>>722465961
But...unless you're afraid of getting hit, keep your distance. Rile him/her up. Make him/her swing more and get tired.
Fuck what the kids around you say...make that bully work for that prey (your ass) even if your ass gets beat, learn from it.

File: 145335656447.jpg (54KB, 991x902px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 991x902px

>>722464636
>mfw the autism is just right

I would listen to the bean guy

>>722461339

I would figure out what his problem is with you before it comes to blows.

if you've done nothing to bring this upon himself, then make him feel like shit for being such an asshole.

if if comes down to a fight, try to stay focused, try to get on top of him? Idk, im a big guy so nobody ever fucked with me in highschool

Duct tape blowtorches to your hands charge at him and say NO ONE CAN DEFEAT THE MIGHTY HUMAN TORCH !!!!

>>722461339
Kick him in the nuts fight over

>>722464636
I zozzled

>>722466622
Thinking of it now, that shit is funny.

>>722466809
but also hide beans in your trench coat and throw them after warming them with your blowtorch hands

>>722467083
Ok you are trying way too hard right now. Close this thread, delete system 32 to speed up your hard-drive, then maybe come back to 4chan in a few years when you're old enough to be here.

File: Muay Thai vs Boxing.gif (1MB, 260x146px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 260x146px

>>722461339

Get your jab and cross technique as good as you can et it.

Get your front push kick technique as good as you can get it.

Get your outside to inside horizontal elbow technique as good as you can get it.

Get your vertical knee technique as good as you can get it.

Get your sprawl as good as you can get it.

Get your BJJ guard as good as you can get it.

Learn half mount.

Learn full mount.

Get your rear naked choke as good as you can get it.

Get your guillotine choke as good as you can get it.

You can develop the most amount of skill in the smallest amount of time by practicing these things with a friend.

Get access to a punching bag.

>>722467083
mr TORCHBEAN will explode the can of beans into the guys nutsack

File: 1487126519844.jpg (148KB, 1280x957px) Image search: [Google]

148KB, 1280x957px

>>722467325
One funny thing happened and then this other nigga went full blown retarded

File: Sumo.jpg (405KB, 800x1209px) Image search: [Google]

405KB, 800x1209px

>>722461339

Use your weight to your advantage, don't try to trade punches, definitely don't run around after him.

Stand your ground, get your feet under your well so you have leverage and grapple. Throw a arm between his legs lift up and then lean into him with your weight so that you fall forward on top of him. You're now on top of him and he's stunned, so its just a matter of punching him in the face till they pull you off of him.

I did that once to a bully in 6th grade and the sheer spectacle of it kept anyone from daring to fuck with me through highschool.

>>722467316
yeah thanks, I should be able to get all that together by TOMORROW at lunch

>>722467316
>master a martial art.

Or just pocket sand succeeded by a swift kick in the nuts.

OP these fags are going to get your ass beat for you. Stay clear of the fucker following him for awhile to determine when you can isolate him with no witness of cameras. Fuck his shit up with a bat from behind where he never sees what hit him (important only if you're not going to just kill him) Get rid of clothes bat don't carry any electronic devices on you when you do this. If questioned by the police Keep COMPLETELY shut the fuck up. As long as you do this you'll be ok. Remember if questioned the police are just fishing don't bite.

>>722467579
>>722467595
These. There's no such thing as a fair fight. You're not in a ring.

Have a pencil on you and stab him in the shoulder/knee, then break it off.

He will never fuck with you ever.

If ur on heavier side, grab his legs and lift up. This will smack his head on whatever hard surface you happen to be fighting on.
U can also wear sap gloves or conceal a blackjack until the fight starts, then use that.

>>722467419
I thought he was being funny

>>722462167
really the only sensible response.

>>722464636
Please do this

>>722467316
you do realize he's doing it tomorrow

>>722467521
if you are OP, or OP is still here, let me break it down for you.

If he's stronger he'll win. There is very little chance for you to win anything, and if you are in a school situation in America, you'll probably get in trouble even if it's for self defense.

If it does come to fighting tomorrow, and you are not able to avoid it (highly doubt it, but something tells me you won't put in the effort) then remember - he has his target set on your face and stomach. In a stressful situation, he will not see anything else. If you can get over the fear of getting punched there, you can grab his hair, his head, and just force him down.

But you will probably be stressed and forget everything in this thread, and get tackled to the ground. The hardest fights are the ones you walk away from.

File: 1485658882211.gif (1MB, 260x146px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 260x146px

>>722461339
>>722467316

Cross
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWk4ZZiT-S0

Front Push Kick
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckpj7O0Et28

Elbow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QLgwAHaQlM

Knee
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVGj96ARiYo

Sprawl
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fu2X6eVvd6E

Guard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKxD5kdOkk0

Mount
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4dDWsNvd68

Rear Naked Choke
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LppnEfRoFIM

Guillotine Choke
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFOtP7-8vN0

>>722468019
There are no winners in a fight - there's just 2 people hurt with one hurt more than the other

If you're heavier than him and he's not athletic, you can try to double leg him and slam into the ground on top of him.

He might be seriously hurt but at least you win.

If he has friends just don't do it anon, buy a Taser or some shit, these kinds of fights almost always end in the ground and if you're on the ground, his friends will get that courage boost to beat your ass.

You could get a pepper spray too.

>>722461339
suck his dick

>>722468185
Dude it's a schoolyard scuffle, not MMA.

You need a lot of repetitive practice to get that shot down in muscle memory, as opposed to thinking
>hmmm what did that youtuber say about blocking
while taking a punch

OP, pocket sand, eyes, ears, nose, balls. Have a sharp object with you, but not a knife. You win.

File: ultimate attack.gif (499KB, 345x247px) Image search: [Google]

499KB, 345x247px

>>722461339
Wait for the punch. It'll most likely come from your left. Dodge forward and bear-hug cling. Pull knife from back pocket while maintaining grip. Maintaining grip is priority.
Stab 3-6 times roughly 4 inches above the hip OR anywhere in the neck.

Then you'll spend 2-24 months in a psych ward if you can cry convincingly enough.

>>722467316
LOL like this lil nigger would learn this all in a small amount of time, these take a lot of time to master.

Just teach him a single leg or double leg max and how to run if shit get serious. Maybe how to posture up on full mount if he manages to get there for gnp.

>>722461551
Bullshit. Always get the second punch, self defence that shit, then fight dirtier than a crack whore.

File: Mini Zen Garden.jpg (280KB, 1548x674px) Image search: [Google]

280KB, 1548x674px

>>722461339
>>722468019
>>722467521
>>722468185
>>722467316


So you've got to take a crash course, no biggie. It's better than no training at all.

Your brain works best when you've gotten a good night of sleep.
Fucking sleep well, faggot, it's your best chance.

It's good to warm up before physical activity, including fighting.
Start by warming up, doing dynamic stretches, and ten exercise.
You can do static stretching afterwards.
Do not do ballistic stretching.

HOW TO FIGHT CRASH COURSE TIPS:
- keep him at range with kicks
- don't make yourself predictable. If you kick him a lot, mix it up with some fakes.
- if he gets past your kicking range, use punches
- he gets closer than punching range, use knees
- if he gets even closer, use elbows
- mix up knees and elbows if he's that close
- if he grapples you, you know what to do
- sprawl if he goes for your legs
- if you're on bottom, facing up, keep your guard tight
- if it goes to the ground, try to get back up, if you can't get back up, use your Brazilian Jiujitsu skills
- if he goes down, and you're up, fucking kick and stomp on that mother fucker

If I was you I'd boot up Tekken ASAP

File: facre.jpg (7KB, 249x228px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 249x228px

>>722461339
Holy shit. Follow these guys advice if you want to be expelled and possibly arrested. In a fight, have a keen eye on your left side especially and keep your concetration on their fists. After they swing first, duck while you see it coming and dive into their feet. If you're lucky, they'll break their nose on the concrete and you can plead self defense, if they're still fighting, survival of the fittest man

>>722468861
>kicks
Kicks are fucking useless. Get into their bubble. Trip them or topple them onto the ground. And rail on them with punches, head slams and stomps.

>>722468411
>>722468411
It takes time to get it down well. It doesn't take too long to learn.
Muscle memory helps, but it's not required.
Like you said, it's school yard bullshit, so OP can probably get away with reaction speed and timing alone.
But the balls is a good point I forgot to mention.

>>722468861
if the guy is fat and stiff, he won't know how to kick, even if he knew his body wouldn't be able to kick well without training.

>>722469176
>Kicks are fucking useless.
Ignorance and delusion or shitposting.

>>722468861
Oh hey, an anonymous person doesn't know what they're talking about

what a fucking surprise

>"if he grapples you, you know what to do"

retard.
you're talking to some fatboy who can't fight. not Rocky.

File: broken-pencil-pictures-WQHyyR-clipart.jpg (64KB, 320x375px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 320x375px

>>722461339

>>722469311
this is real life, not fucking Naruto

>>722469288
Anything below the below mid-abdomen is fine.
You still have to do PE in school, so OP isn't completely stiff and fat.
There's nothing like a good kick to the knee.

>>722469426
Kage bunshin no jutsu

>>722469311
You've obviously never been in a fight. Taking your leg off the ground gets you kicked in the cock and knocked flat on your ass.

>>722469316
>what is sarcasm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVEhW5tZ7yA

Even the simplest movements can take years to get to where you are competent. If you've never punched a person, never kicked a person, never took serious hits, you will be out. People have no idea just how little they know until they get beat the fuck up by simpletons with ego the size of the empire state building

File: The Horror.gif (655KB, 853x480px) Image search: [Google]

655KB, 853x480px

>>722468412
this TBH

File: 1420756844457.jpg (582KB, 1600x1131px) Image search: [Google]

582KB, 1600x1131px

>>722469523
Ignorance and delusion often go hand in hand. Experience is only as credible as now it's interpreted. Correlation is not causation.

I'm going out now, but seriously if you can hear one advice, hear this:

>WALK AWAY
>NO OPTION?
>LEARN DOUBLE LEG TAKEDOWN
>GROUND AND POUND HIS ASS ON THE GROUND
>NOT FEELING TOO GOOD OR HE HAS FRIENDS?
>BUY A TASER OR PEPPER SPRAY

Good luck anon.

File: images (11).jpg (10KB, 219x230px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 219x230px

Kamehameha his ass.

>>722461339
Send his family a basket of poison muffins

>>722469524
>actually attempts sarcasm through text
>even though context of sarcasm comes from voice / body language

you're retarded.

If you're hearing it around and he isn't confronting you, go talk to him. Head it off. Don't get into a fight. Make him laugh, say what's all this about kicking my ass? Is it because I look like Tom Brady?

>>722461339
After you get the first punch in, get him on the ground and use your weight to advantage to keep him there and just pound him till you get tired.

>>722464636
kek

>>722469524
>i-i was just joking anon
>g-gotcha! hahaa

Nice guide, faggot.

>>722469789
>>even though context of sarcasm comes from voice / body language
Delusion.

Example:
>be walking your BFF
>BFF: Hey, look at that extremely fat guy!
>You: I'm sure he's a vegan that exercises regularly.

File: T5_Hwoarang.jpg (1MB, 3000x4000px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 3000x4000px

>>722469523
Why is he so OP then, genius?

>>722469627
>high school debate club member detected

Look. I've been in a few tiffs. When you lift your leg up, you're telling me, please kick me in the cock. It's what I do. I see a perfectly open shot at your fragile fucking gonads, and I go for it.

>>722469627
There are only as much truths as falsehoods. A chicken is a chicken only when it's not. The way of the Jedi is by the means of beans.

>>722461339
Try to make out with him. He'll be to afraid of committing a hate crime that he'll leave you alone. Also don't be afraid to cradle the balls.

>>722469963
>Nice guide, faggot.
Who is going to go in depth with grappling in a crash course?

>Be 16 get into first fight
>pretent to kick fat shits leg (me weighting 120 pounds at the time him 220)
>Fat shit drops arms to protect fake leg kick.
> Hit him with a flush Haymaker on the jaw
> falls straight to the ground flubber juggling all over the place
> and starts having a seziure
> walk away like nothing happened as worried onlookers aid him.
>get 7 day ISS

UFC saved my ass

>>722470004
Because he's a eunuch.

>>722461339
Stop being such a fat shit and you wont have problems like this.

Easy

>>722461339
Bring a knife. Stab him to death and take his life.

>>722461339
If you're substantially bigger / heavier than him, definitely use that to your advantage.
If you just bear hug him, fall to the floor with you on top then he's probably not going to be able to do much. If you're only slightly heavier than him then maybe this won't work, but hey.

Once you start hitting dont stop until he is no longer a threat.

File: 1476275510751.gif (524KB, 200x200px) Image search: [Google]

524KB, 200x200px

>>722461339
Two words...

Pocket sand.

>>722470202
>until you can't tell what you're hitting
Fix'd

>>722470007
Look, honey bear; I've been in amateur fights, backyard brawls, schoolyard fights, and some unarmed in-ruled fights.
Sweet cheeks, saying that you're always going to fall when you kicks is stupid bullshit.
Beautiful, I know for a fact that a lot of school kids and untrained faggots don't know what they're doing, and won't out skill a kick.

>>722464636
top kek, thanks for making my night

Fuck fighting. When he's talking, (they always talk) throat punch him in the middle of a sentence so he doesn't know it's coming. He'll drop. Kick him until you're pulled off. Then scream at him "next time I'll fucking kill you" like a psycho to let anyone else watching know that you aren't to be fucked with. It'll be the last fight anyone picks with you.

>>722470007
>>722470376
>in-ruled
Fucking autofucking correct fucking bullshit ass fucking faggot ass computer.
Un-ruled.

Slam your fists into his collarbones till his arms drop like sacks of potatoes.

>>722470047
it was just sarcasm anon geez haha

>>722470684
top cake

True Story Time

>be me
>18 yrs old, in college, living in dorm
>get drunk and chat up a girl at the skellar
>she's drunk, and so we wind up kissing, my hands all over her tits, etc, but no fucking
>turns out, she's the gf of this wrestler dude who lives on the same floor as me
>dick friends tell him all about last night, etc.
>wrestler lets it be known to me that at 6 pm he is going to kick my ass bad. Tells me either I meet him behind the commons bldg, or he'll just find me and beat me wherever I am
>ohshit.com
>never really been in a fight since 3rd grade.
>kinda small framed (yeah, fuck you)
>I make a desperate move
>wrestler in his room after classes, no doubt getting ready to beat the shit out of me
>I grab butane refiller cartridge off my shelf which I use to refill butane soldering iron
>grab balloon used for water balloon fight at the beginning of semester
>push balloon under his door
>fill balloon with liquid butane so it fills up inside his room
>knock on door
>as soon as I see shadow at front door, flick my bic and balloon erupts in huge ball of flame on inside of wrestlers room
>run like hell
>30 minutes later, go to bathroom, see wrestler pulling burt hair and beard particles off his very red face. No eyebrows.
>look at him in the mirror
>he looks back, scared as hell
>smile and walk out

Got a total reputation on the floor as a "pyro". No one fucked with me at all after that, especially the wrestler.

And no, this isn't bullshit. This really happened. So to Anon: You don't have to be the bravest, or most skilled fighter. But it does help a lot if you are willing to act insane.

Golden Rule #10: If you set people on Fire, they tend to leave you alone.

>>722470376
>thinking that retarded school kids have enough balance to not fall over when kicking
This better be bait.

>>722470376
You sound like the only battle you ever fought was when you tried your hardest not to cum from that dick in your ass.

>>722461339
Seriously speaking. Do whatever you can think of to win.

Hit him in the balls. Bite him. Punch his throat. It's a street fight there are no rules. Only thing that matters is winning

>>722469973
literally what the fuck are you saying

think for longer than two seconds then try again

your example is actually retarded

>>722470765
Low front push kick?
You're mentally retarded or posting b8.

>>722470763
10/10
i loved playing with fire

>>722470909
That's more of a stomp. And that isn't gonna do fuck all if the guy's already in his bubble.

>>722470834
You sound like a faggot who spends a lot of time thinking about cum and dicks in asses.

>>722471082
Yeah I'm gay, so what?

>>722470889
>being this retarded

>>722470932
Another good trick in a pinch (which helped me get my pyro rep): Take a Bic Pen, and remove the Tip/Ink Tube.
Seal up the little hole in the side of the pen housing.
Stick it on the top of a can of Butane Refiller
Instant Flame Thrower.
Just hold a lighter in front of it, pull down, and whoosh!! More fun than is legal.

>>722470763
>>722468412

the fuck is wrong with you people

>>722471040
>That's more of a stomp
I'm not here to play semantics right now.

>And that isn't gonna do fuck all if the guy's already in his bubble.
That's what the knees and elbows are for.

>>722471146
Nothing wrong with being a homosexual; however, personally, I'm not a homosexual.

OP, just walk away. Or, walk towards a CCTV camera. Then take a hit, and sue if you like.

ITT Faggots that play too much Smash

File: kek.gif (1MB, 346x261px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 346x261px

>>722471155
nice comeback anon

Maybe you should follow his advice and think for more than two seconds eh

>>722471305
Best advice itt

>>722471273
LOOK BOYS WE GOT A FAGGOT LOVER

>>722471222
Trips Checked.

Me, I just didn't want to get the shit kicked out of me by some bohunk that I'd have to keep living near. Just basic self-preservation. No "fighting trick" in the book would have kept my 135 lb ass from being beat - unless I could totally channel Bruce Lee, and so Fire seemed to be the answer.

>>722471230
Look dude. Street fights are won within the first instant. You get in the bubble, you figure out a way to get him on the ground, then you hit the vital shit like the nasal bridge, the temples, the ears, the throat, and the collarbones. It's not fucking ufc, it's not mortal kombat, it's you damaging your opponent till they're no longer a threat no matter what that damage is.

File: 72BRi7c1.jpg (24KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 400x400px

>>722464636
only on /b/

File: e9ee18d2d65928da7522550db8fcbe15.jpg (76KB, 425x319px) Image search: [Google]

76KB, 425x319px

>>722470763
>>722471179
>>722471462

Tuck your chin. Keep them hands up. Don't let him control where you stand

>>722464902
>using a ring in a punch fight

son, you know jack shit about street fighting
you're bound to fucking fissure/break a finger on a badly-landed punch while wearing a ring

>>722461339
Seriously, OP just prime yourself up and walk up 2 him and say "what's the fuck'n problem..." Confront him in from of his friends (xtrax bonus) Keep your cool... (on a side note, i remember once in school the yard getting intimated by this type of dude... Got it on w/ him nearly busted his fuck'n neck. he was walking aroung w/ one of those fuck'n plastic caolers you see dogs walking around the street... btw got his girl ... Have no fear!!!

>>722464636
Hee-hee!

File: 15259381.jpg (650KB, 1600x1150px) Image search: [Google]

650KB, 1600x1150px

>>722464636
HE SAID BEANS!! HHAHAHA BEEEAAAAANNSSSS!!!!!!!!!1111!!1

>>722461918
Bull shit. You want to be on the ground, on top. That's the best possible position.

File: genuine surprise.gif (791KB, 260x146px) Image search: [Google]

791KB, 260x146px

>>722471462
>i just loved to grapple boys
>so i became a wrestler
>but my dad who fucct my bum said that if i ever turn gay he'd kill me
>git a grill with my sicc moves
>get to touch boys and not disappoint papa
>now some fuckin dude moves in on my girl
>i'd rather fuck the dude, yet honor dictates i must break him
>but everything changed when the fire nation attacked

File: 1487129775243.jpg (35KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 480x360px

>>722464636
I'm too high for this shit

>>722465004
It ain't a bad idea. 1lb weight, thrown hard, will break bones, and if it hits the sternum, will hurt like a motherfucker.

That's when you come in with the can of sardines in each hand and slap him like a fishy bitch.

>>722461551
yea don't listen to this fag
everything works out better if you throw second

>>722471321
Very articulate post, Anon. It surely portrays higher knowledge and intelligence.

>>722472004
I'm in legit tears reading this

File: Facebook-308722.png (111KB, 500x717px) Image search: [Google]

111KB, 500x717px

>>722464636
This could actually crack a rib if done correctly.

>>722462149

He is ONLY going to throw haymakers. Nobody except for boxers or trained fighters know how to throw anything except super wide hooks (both sides). Blocking a hook kind of sucks without gloves though. He might break your hand if you block with the outside hand.

>>722471404
I'm not sure if I've ever loved anyone.

File: 1409630808061.png (257KB, 516x526px) Image search: [Google]

257KB, 516x526px

>>722464636
I really, really, really like this post

its not rape if its a supersize!

File: rpdm9.jpg (14KB, 350x337px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 350x337px

>>722464636
Top kek, well done m8

File: nr2hy.jpg (20KB, 480x344px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 480x344px

>>722464636

>>722470763
>>722470763
Golden Rule #10: If you set people on Fire, they tend to leave you alone.

great wisdom in those words anon

File: fec.jpg (22KB, 600x400px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 600x400px

>>722464636
Hahahaha fucking beans in the trenchcoat, classic.

>>722472004
8/8 kekd pretty good there

You can always get your arm around his neck from behind. If you're big enough, you could always try and sit on him.

>>722464636
yes but what if you hide the trench coat in a can of beans?

>>722461339
Honestly, defend yourself the best you can, keep your guard up and try to block or just not get hit in the face. Other than that don't throw the first punch, try to get him to fight in public so you have help and stay down if you need to, no point in getting your ass whooped repeatedly if you can't win

File: 1487119968572.jpg (33KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 640x480px

>>722464636
Fuuuuck

>>722463185
Absolutely do not have your hands in fists. Catching a punch with your fist is a great way to break your hand. You want your hands to be open until you punch.

>>722471664
Not all street fights are won within the first instant.
A majority of popular American street fighting videos are often short lived.

>the rest of the post
Irrelevant.

I recall a post stating something along the lines of "think for more than two seconds."

Personally, I'd go with that, accompanied by the utilization of critical analysis and logical reasoning.

Have you ever considered the possibility that you could be delusional?
Perhaps, what you possible seem to think the post was portraying, wasn't being portrayed at all.

I think that this is a YouTube video with knowledge that a vast majority of humanity should watch and learn.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QleRgTBMX88

>>722461339
>don't get into a fight
Unless you really want to hurt this kid, as well as get hurt.

Solid advice: keep your hands up, and be careful not to lean into punches.
remember any way you can avoid taking a punch directly(eg getting your forearm in the way or even your hands) would be better than taking a punch to the face.

>but seriously, maybe just don't fight him
violence ends in more violence, or just getting your ass whooped and then feeling like a fool.
Nobody looks good missing teeth or bleeding from the face.

>>722464636
>The Beaner
X + O + v + > + ^

>>722472615
>stay down

Don't do that. That's how you get your head stomped in.

>>722464636
thanks for the laugh. haven't laughed that good in a while

>>722471664
>Street fights are won within the first instant
So if there's a weapon, it ends even faster, right?

Wrong.

Knife and cloth shield fight
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hccyPJ7a8j4&oref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DhccyPJ7a8j4&has_verified=1 [Embed]

Machete fight
youtube.com/watch?v=VhV9xTPRvaI [Embed]

Gang weapons fight
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWrYUUIrR2o [Embed]

Knife vs unarmed fight
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWTsM_YUOrQ [Embed]

File: 433534dc8970c9649a0e3f88cd9d0a38.jpg (20KB, 400x300px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 400x300px

>>722464636
dat rite dar is funney

File: giphy.gif (989KB, 500x196px) Image search: [Google]

989KB, 500x196px

I LOL'D

Do a takedown preferably a single leg he can't hit full power of you're on top raining hits

File: 731.jpg (55KB, 486x409px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 486x409px

>>722464636
I JUST WANT TO FIT IN

>>722472804
Whoa there Soul Calibur.

Of course you'll take precation when someone swings a fucking blade towards you.

>>722472693
10/10 copypasta material.

File: 5e8.jpg (27KB, 570x238px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 570x238px

>>722464636
LAMOOOOOOOOFQAOOO

>>722463493
>don't use your fists it'll leave marks
>hit them with a hard object
Yeah that won't leave any marks.

>>722464636
Hey, that's pretty good!

>>722471462
I didn't do the pyro thing, but similar happened to me once upon a time.

I just reminded his roommate who knew how to make nicotine poison, and how to pick locks.

Then, that night, I got into the guy's room and left a syringe plunger (no needle) filled with sugar water on his bed with a note that said "You need to be less of an asshole" and relocked the door behind me.

His roommate moved out the next day, because he accused him of planting it.

He still tried to start shit with me in the cafeteria, so I unlocked his door and talked very loudly around the street kid spangers outside how the idiot never locked his door and had some "sick audio equipment".

Kid lost something like $7k worth of gear and clothes in the first unlock, almost all his shit in the second, and in the third got everything cleaned out of his place completely.

Of course he blamed his old roommate, but since the roomie was a melloe, mellow Samoan who also played football, no issue.

>>722464636
Huehuehuehuehue

File: 200_s.gif (27KB, 200x200px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 200x200px

>>722464636
i chuckled

>>722467316
>become a competent martial artist before you fight this kid
GREAT IDEA FRIENDO!

File: elrisitas.jpg (40KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 600x600px

>>722464636
Goddamn 4chan, never change you magnificent retards

Do not, I repeat, do not go for the throat. Unless you're okay with going to jail for attempted murder. Kick to the knee cap or balls is a good way to end a fight quickly. If he gets in close, head butt him in the nose. Don't worry about fighting fair. Fight to win.

>>722472804
Most street fights with weapons are one sided.
>man 1 pulls out knife
>man 2 does not have knife
>man 1 sticks knife into man 2's neck
>fight is over
>man 1 goes to jail for manslaughter or worse

>>722464636
I don't get it.

File: 1313174076506.jpg (30KB, 337x276px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 337x276px

>>722464636
i laughed until my dick got hard :(

File: 16114227_10154949709544252_4625234109006683995_n.png (383KB, 650x480px) Image search: [Google]

383KB, 650x480px

>>722461339

POCKET SAND!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTAXUYLbFYk

>>722461339
Bring a gun (Doesn't have to be loaded, just to scare him off. Make sure it's loaded though, just in case...)

>>722464636
This is the most retarded thing I've ever read.

>>722473231
>crush his larynx
>claim self defense
Problem?

>>722472994
Nice to hear there are others as fucked up as me. Normies tend to be extra afraid of dudes who they think are crazy. Doesn't hurt to let them think so, most of the time.

>>722461339
Fight dirty.

Cover your fucking face.

Hit hard and often, dont give him a chance to swing.

>>722461339
OP, as soon as he gets in on you and tries initiating the fight, literally just start stripping off your clothes, starting with your pants (taking off your shirt first makes it look like you're getting ready to fight). just start taking off your pants and your underwear. there's NO WAY he'll fight you as you're getting naked, because then he'll think his peers will see him as gay.

>>722473166
I'm not suggesting that OP become a complete martial artist. Just to learn a few simple things to be a little prepared for the vastly wide plethora of variety that could possibly happen.

If you punch him make sure its the tip of his chin, it'll knock him out or atleast daze him for a follow up. If you win spit\piss on him.

File: a9e.jpg (32KB, 453x500px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 453x500px

>>722464636

Rape him

>>722461339
Hit him first and hard.
Don't telegraph your punch, turn your whole body with your strong hand and extend it at the same time. Don't swing in that stupid round a bout motion that they do in the movies... Attack fast and STRAIGHT to the target.. aka the dudes jaw

File: 473.jpg (1MB, 3165x3427px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 3165x3427px

>>722464636
>chuckles through 600lbs of fat

Op get but ass naked seconds before the first punch, the attacker won't know what to do and probably walk away cause you're too weird to fight.

>>722473641
>before tommorow
I get what you mean though.
>also vast and wide are synonymous, and plethora is synonymous with variety.
How old are you m8?
Have you been in a fight?

File: meh.ro10689.jpg (31KB, 464x384px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 464x384px

>>722464636
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

File: 253.jpg (1MB, 1260x1782px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1260x1782px

>>722464636
Goddammit Bobby.

File: 165.png (110KB, 350x262px) Image search: [Google]

110KB, 350x262px

me reading through all this cancer

>>722473280
>Most street fights with weapons are one sided.
Delusion.
Most street fights are gang related, and gang members very often have weapons.
>man 1 pulls out knife
>man 2 gets stabbed
>man 3 pulls out baseball bat
>man 3 break's man 1's skull
>man 4 pulls out gun
>man 5 tackles man 4
>man 6 pulls out gun
>man 7 grabs stick
>man 8 gets shot by someone
>man 9 already has gun pulled out
>man 10 runs to car
>etcetera
To give you a general idea, anyway.

>>722464636
Is this real?

>>722473680
while pissing on your defeated foe seems awesome, I bet it could be used as some sort of sexual assault in this day and age of "social justice" where everything is sexual assault in some form or another.

>>722473822
Kek dude if someone did that I'd just go chimp on their nuts.

File: 1300044776986.jpg (17KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 250x250px

>>722464636
Seriously?

>>722462149
Good points.

incase nobody else in the thread has mentioned it yet:

Also REMEMBER to breathe. Do not hold your breath. If the fight lasts for any considerable amount of time, and you're the lesser athlete, this is a big one. I've fought people (albeit in controlled environments) who were out of shape and got winded in a matter of 20 SECONDS.

Practice punching, and when you do, exhale sharply, with your diaphragm, when you strike. Don't gasp for air between, but obviously do inhale.

Don't talk shit during the fight. It's just like trying to run and talk at the same time, just winds you quicker.

>>722474037
Your autism is off the charts

>>722474037
Literally horse shit. This isn't Somalia.

>>722474078
Do you really want to fight a crazy naked person? Next thing you know he'll be teabagging you with his jiblets

>>722473873
>How old are you m8?
I'm in my mid 20s.

>Have you been in a fight?
More than I cared to keep track of. I used to be a delinquent. I used to be a martial artist.

I've been in friendly matches. I've been attacked. I've been in tournaments. I've had knives pulled on me, guns pointed at me, skateboards swung at me, etcetera.

If the fight is imminent and his in your face hit him first. Make sure u hit him first in the face with a nice straight right . Follow it up immidiately with more straight punches to the face and overwhelm the fuck. This is your best chance if you don't know how to fight. It will more than likely end up on the ground after you've tapped him where u need to maintain the aggression and keep punching him on the ground

File: iQWodoK.gif (485KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

485KB, 250x250px

>>722464636

>>722474219
Your charts are autistic.

File: 27d.png (1MB, 2000x1333px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2000x1333px

>>722464636
GOTTA THROW FAST

>>722461339
Open hand strikes to soft tissue or try and get him in a head lock.

>>722474311
He's not gonna have any giblets if they're exposed. That's probably the easiest way to get a street vasectomy.

File: cSP98.jpg (32KB, 620x400px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 620x400px

>>722464636
wat

>>722474282
We have Somalia all around the world, baby doll.

File: bml.gif (978KB, 442x320px) Image search: [Google]

978KB, 442x320px

>>722464636
Kek

>>722474373
>skateboards swung at you
go on...

File: CIMI2ZkWoAAfH-Y.jpg (25KB, 397x293px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 397x293px

>>722464636
This one's going down in history

>>722461817
Don't try to punch him in the face, it's a waste of energy, read my previous comment
>>722474543

File: 1487096754173.jpg (192KB, 800x1000px) Image search: [Google]

192KB, 800x1000px

>>722464636

Put me in the screenshot pls

File: 5485148-3581179781-maxre.jpg (61KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 1280x720px

>>722474698
I'll see you all on Reddit if you're a fag like me

Elbow. Seriously. At an angle toward his head.

>>722474575
I'm not racist, but Somalians are literally subhuman savages that would kill you for a penny. It's not because they're black, it's because they're dirty fucking barbaric Somalis.

File: street fight decision.webm (930KB, 426x426px) Image search: [Google]

930KB, 426x426px

>>722474078
>>722473822

>>722474739
What is your background?
or are you just straight trollin'?

File: ffddd.jpg (18KB, 275x258px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 275x258px

>>722474777
If you want to take a screenshot #1

File: robbie_rotten.jpg (121KB, 1252x1252px) Image search: [Google]

121KB, 1252x1252px

>>722474886
You have to shoot yourself with a gun

>>722474661
Generally speaking, at various points in my life, some shitheads happened to be skaters and happened to have their skateboards at the time.

I used to skateboard. Sometimes, my pals and I would skip school and go skateboard.

File: latest.gif (54KB, 273x343px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 273x343px

>>722464636
Just follow my lead

And sneak around

File: Robbie_Rotten.jpg (18KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 480x360px

>>722464636
Be careful not to make a

KEK

File: images-1.jpg (4KB, 208x160px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 208x160px

>>722464636
>pic unrelated

Kek

File: robbierotten.jpg (8KB, 143x171px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 143x171px

>>722475279
Throw it at me not him nigger

>>722474746
Okay, everybody gets one.

File: blackface_3910.jpg (22KB, 298x409px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 298x409px

>>722464636
I want to be in the screenshot too