Im off duty. So I thought what better way to pass the time, Aside

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No one huh? thats disappointing... I guess no one is interested anymore.

>>722407774
Not really. We've already heard all your dumb stories 100 times already.

>>722406761
as you ever met the hero of kvatch?

Why is there a prisoner in this cell

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>>722406761
supp

>>722406761
Who picks up guide dog shit?

I just stole something and murdered someone

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>>722406761
You have been visited by the autistic pedo NEET of /b/. Autism will come to you unless you comment "pedo" on the linked video. There are no immunities.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HzZInvrXRuA

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>>722407853
No one said you had to be here.
>>722407882
Yes actually. He stabbed a friend of mine to death last week, paid his bounty, then went to the bar. Hes a dick.
>>722408114
I dont handle matters inside the prison. I just arrest the criminals.
>>722408133
By the gods! You're the gray fox! You're wanted for... All kinds of stuff! You're wanted dead and alive! Im choosing dead.

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>>722406761
Off duty huh, and here I thought Imperial guards were supposed to be vigilant. I'm joking of course, I'd be a lot warmer and a lot happier with a bellyful of mead...

>>722408286
the empire is falling and theres nothing you can do to stop it cyrodil will be invaded by both morrowind and skyrim

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>>722408170
Im not sure. But I dont. I'm not explaining to the captian why my gauntlets are covered in dogshit though.
>>722408197
STOP!

>>722408396
>resist arrest

>>722408286
BY AZURA BY AZURA BY AZURA

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>>722408247
Nice try, but I've got the facts.

>>722408286
>No one said you had to be here
moot told me to tell you to fuck off

>>722408519
moot aint got shit anymore pritty sure most of the mods gave up on 4chan a while back

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>>722408368
Skyrim is so cold. I dont know how anyone can live up there. I spent a week visiting my cousin in Whiterun. I didnt leave the house unless it was neccesary.
>>722408390
Why worry about something I cant change? I'll defend the Imperial city if it happens in my lifetime. I'll probably die in the process too. But its fine.
>>722408442
Then pay with your blood!
>>722408444
By the gods. Its him again... Maybe if i ignore him he'll go away...

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>>722408286
who?

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>>722408712
What? But he was just... I Could have sworn... I almost had... I think I need to lay off the ale...

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>>722408679
Oh really, that reminds of my cousin's who's out fighting dragons, while I'm just sitting here on guard duty, watching the skies.I mean fighting them is great and all but damn dragons could swoop down at any time.

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>>722408939
well, Im out

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>>722409014
Dragons? Really? I almost died fighting hordes of daedra outside the city and you nords have Dragons? World's gone crazy i say.
>>722409062
I KNEW I SAW YOU!! You arent getting away this time! Shows over Gray fox!

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>>722409279

>>722406761
How does the mug reach your mouth?

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>>722409391
Damnit.
>>722409422
It doesnt, I pour it into my mouth from the mug.

>>722409525
spare a coin?

>>722408481
>underestimating meme magic

>>722406761
hows the knee?

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>>722409661
Here.
>>722410140
My knees are fine. Why do you ask?

>>722410140
Wrong game retard

SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE NORDS

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How do you feel about Dark Elves? Also do want to share a glass of Sujamma? It's on the house.

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>>722406761
will Katia ever get her stuff back & find her way back home?

>>722406761
why must your confiscate all my stolen goods when i am caught in a 5 gold infraction?

>>722406761
How do you always know which of my items are stolen, when i have more than one of a kind

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>>722406761
why do you resist?

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>>722410567
I respect the dunmer. I truly do. Being able to live in morrowind, Cultivate it to grow crops is simply amazing. And the telvanni wizards Fascinate me. Being able to live for thousands of years... Imagine that...
And a free glass of sujamma? are you kidding me? Hit me up.
>>722410813
Im not sure. Where did katia lose her things?
>>722410868
Because they are stolen. and its against the law.
>>722410988
I honestly have no idea.
>>722411027
I dont know what your talking about. And Im going to have to ask you to put a shirt on miss.

STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!

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>>722411196

>>722411104
Are you a third era or a fourth era Imperial Guardsman

Battleborn or greymane?

>>722406761
Where the hell are all the wives and girlfriends of the Imperial Guards? Are you all gay?

>>722406761
which city are you stationed?

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>>722411326
Well... Now that the oblivion crisis is over... I guess im a Fourth era? Its amusing really. Im from two eras
>>722411446
I dont understand the question.
>>722411633
Well probably at home. Thats where my wife is. Heres a picture. Though im sure a few of my fellow guardsmen might be swinging for the other side... I know marvin the mouth is.
>>722411724
The Imperial City. Talos Plaza district.

>>722411816
wow lucky nice wife and the arguably best station

>>722411816
>Well probably at home. Thats where my wife is

she is unfaithful while you are away tending to your duties.

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>>722412135
It took a lot of hard work and a LOT of ass kissing to get out of the arena district. That stupid wood elf drove me crazy. And thank you. My wife is rather beautiful.
>>722412172
No. She couldnt be unfaithful. The reason shes at home instead of at work is because shes pregnant with our child. Otherwise she'd be working in her new enchanting shop she opened.

>>722412717
>She couldnt be unfaithful. The reason shes at home instead of at work is because shes pregnant with our child

or her child could be the spawn of another imperial guardsman. you cant be with her every hour of every day. will you raise the bastard child as your own if it's the seed of another?

>>722412717
Why do the Imperial guardsmen in Cyrodil have plate armor and silver weapons? Yet in Morrowind and Skyrim they have lesser tier armor and weapons? (Also same Dark Elf you shared a drink with here)

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>>722413153
Now listen here, We recently got married, We made love all night the night of our wedding, And the next night, and the night after that. After a few days we had a mage test her, and we found out she was pregnant. Now if you have any other questions that DONT have to do with my family you may ask them. Otherwise I suggest you move on before i get nasty.
>>722413204
Im not sure. Im guessing its because the proximity to the imperial palace. Notice how the palace guards have beautifully crafted armor, followed by the Imperial City guards and legionnaires around cyrodiil have our plate armor, and the county town guards have chainmail.

>>722413546
Still you'd think during big military efforts they would send out men in the best armor they could. Also, were where you when the dragon broke?

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>>722413546
How does this image make you feel?

>>722413546
>Otherwise I suggest you move on before i get nasty.

hey hey now, calm down. i'm just trying to help a bro out with a potentially embarrassing 'family' situation. the mage could be way off and she could have come to you already pregnant. that wouldn't reflect well on you and could tarnish your standing and effectiveness as an imperial guard in the eyes of the people if you were duped.

if it's true can you take personal vengeance?

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>>722413631
It is rather odd that the legion wouldnt send high quality armor and weapons when they were setting up in Vvardenfell.
I assume you are referring to the incident in highrock and hammerfell?

I was just a boy... I cant really remember.

>>722414128
That looks like me. Is that me? I remember doing something like this last week. Though it wasnt an apple. It was medicine for the childs sick mother.

>>722409422
You beat me to it

>>722406761
have you ever met m'aiq the liar?

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>>722414326
My wife was a virgin when we got married. And Im done talking about this with you. I suggest you go.

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>>722414576
No. I've heard about him though. Seems strange for a khajiit. The cat probably had a bit too much skooma.

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>>722414595
what do you say about this? isnt it strange how far abusing of titles has gone?

Why are there no children in cyrodiil

>>722414849
The nords are strange. I dont understand their culture and im fine with it. Im content in cyrodiil

>>722414986
Thats absurd. Of course theres children in cyrodiil. You probably are just so caught up in the cities and landmarks that you dont notice them.

>>722414595
>My wife was a virgin when we got married. And Im done talking about this with you. I suggest you go.

ok, ok, fair enough, i will leave. if you get a chance good sir please tell you wife that ivan says hey, she will know.

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>>722415233
My sword said hi to your back, neck, and chest.

When you see sanguine tell him that Antus Sent you. He will know.

>>722415598
>My sword said hi to your back, neck, and chest.
>When you see sanguine tell him that Antus Sent you. He will know.

promise me one request before i die. promise me your wife will name our child ivan after me and that you will raise it as your own.

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>>722415690
That seems terrifying. You need a drink to forget?

I'll get you one.

>>722416175
Funny thing is, My wife's twin sister has been dating a man named Ivan. They look exactly the same.

I hope You enjoy oblivion.

>>722406761
ever taken an arrow to the knee?

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>>722416641
Sure plenty. Of course my greaves protected my knees rather well.

Have you been able to take all of Lord vaders black schlong up your ass yet?

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>>722416866
What? Who the fuck is Lord Vader?

I dont know any Lord vader. But Ocato has been acting strangely around me after my visit to the imperial palace...

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>>722414381
In case you liked the other picture I'll post the rest

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>>722417243

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>>722417281

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>>722417317

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>>722417354

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>>722417376

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>>722417415

>>722417243
>>722417281
>>722417317
>>722417354
>>722417376
>>722417415
>>722417462

Strange documentations...

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>>722411816
I....I know that wench, she worked in a brothel. She required quite a bit of coin for her services....... and well worth every coin she was. Said her soon to be betrothed was an Imperial Guardsman. It is a small world.

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Look at me i'm loligagging

>>722411196
SHOULD HAVE PAID THE FINE

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>>722417618
You know. I remember one of the guardsmen saying that he needed a new fur rug.

I said we were done talking about my family.
After all, Im drunk, Im angry, And i could use a new pair of fur shoes for this winter. I dont think a cat like you would know where i could GET said fur? Do you.

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>>722415690
KEK

>>722417899
Im going to have to ask you to take that to your inn room sir.

Though that was clever.

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>>722417917
do you know this guard? if yes do you know what happened to his eyes?

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>>722418131
Thats baurus. He was blinded by a spider daedra during the defense of bruma. I know because i was there. I watched it happen.

>>722406761
>attempts to place a bucket on your head

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>>722418484
Put. That. Down. NOW

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>>722417917
Stand down guardsman, you are drunk and outnumbered. No need for idle threats that will result in you throwing your life away.

What can I do besides serving my sentence?

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>>722419021

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>>722406761
Imperial Guard ?

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>>722419021
You think I honestly give a single shit? Im an Imperial guard, You kill me due to a drunken threat you have the rest of the legion hunting your furry asses down because i know you cats dont have the coin to cover murder charges.

I might be drunk but im still one of the best swordsman in this city. I fought in the arena for three years before i quit. Half the time i was hammered.

Now I suggest you move on. Because i know you are carrying skooma. All of you cats are.

>>722419244
Pay the fine with either coin or blood.

>>722419293
Scum is everywhere...

>>722419508
Strange armor... Where you from?

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>>722419614
sooo... how much is it?

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>>722419614
Sire ! From the Death Korp of Krieg, Sire !

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>>722419751
Necrophilia? Depends. Is it a first offense?

>>722419823
Never heard of that place before... sounds orcish... or elven... or something.... Whatever. Glad to have you on board boys.

t. Imperial Milk Drinker

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Heresy grows from idleness.

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>>722420038
Yeah ! Lets bomb something together to celebrate !

>>722420038
lets assume it isnt the first?

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>>722420271
Welcome aboard, brother !

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>>722419614
>I fought in the arena for three years before i quit

Quit? Quit??? HA! more like forced to leave embarrassed when your drunken blade missed it's mark and was dodged by a loly elf and you fell face first in the dirt of the arena.

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>>722420138
Milk helps develop strong bones. Seems like you nords need it if you keep hurting you knees so easily.
>>722420305
How about bravil. That place is a rat hole.
>>722420316
At least 500 gold.
>>722420478
No, I quit. The opponent i faced the day i quit was my father. After i killed him i went back down into the bloodworks, washed myself off. And handed in my raiment. Then i joined the legion. You must be thinking of somebody else.

>>722421003
huh so it really IS less than in morrowind...

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>>722421644
Morrowind is a huge provience. This is just once city. I don't see what your point is.

This is a map of tamriel. Morrowind and cyrodiil are close in size but cyrodiil is bigger.

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>>722406761
My ancestors are smiling at me imperial scum, can you say the same?

>>722421003
Plot twist your father didn't die that day and he's come to rekindle your lost relationship and take you out frolicking

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>>722415598
Hey guys whats going on in h.......ooooh boy, this could be a problem. The High King just offered a huge bounty for the head of the person who killed his long lost step brother Ivan.

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>>722422164
I know my father is dead. I sliced his damn head off with my sword.
>>722422086
No. I cant. I dont commune with the dead so i really dont know what my ancestors think of me. And based on what i've seen with most dead brought back to life... They dont seem much for talking or smiling.

>>722422548
Based on what i know of skyrim's politics The bounties dont leave their province. This is the imperial city. And i dont intend to go to the frozen wasteland nords call home.

>>722406761
when the fuck is skyblivion coming out

>>722422637
>The bounties dont leave their province
There are some assassins who will do most anything for a coin or three.

>>722422548
Why don't you get a real job