I kind of want to bitch about the end of my longest friendship

and so I get to bitch to myself but on 4chan... so maybe someone out there is listening?

>>722385109
wat?

>>722385109
Here's my story:

The longest lasting friendship in my life that wasn't with my sibling was with my cousin (yeah I'm not that social). We are only 6 months apart in age so it's pretty natural that we fell in together.
We "officially" became bestfriends when we were 14. Her parents were divorcing and she was having to move to a new school district to start high school and since I was family and already knew everything going on with her parents I ended up being her confidant.

>>722385382
We both rode horses competitively throughout high school and spent a lot of time together doing that. She used to be the one person I could tell anything to and do anything with.
Back when I used to imagine my future wedding I always wanted her to be in my wedding party. I didn't ever imagine us not being close.

I mean for fuck's sake when she tried to off herself she lived at my house for 6 months. We were as close as siblings and there wasn't ever an indication that would change.

>>722385669
I don't really know when exactly we started growing apart (whether it was when we both left for college 4 years ago or not) but it became super fucking apparent last winter.

We were supposed to be having a cousin's only trip up to the mountains and in the literal middle of the night she messages me asking if she can bring her roommate. I told her no. My excuse being it was too last minute, but in reality I don't like her roommate at all--- majorly influenced in that by my cousin's constant bitching about her roommate. In the morning she calls my sister and says she's not going unless the roommate is allowed to go to. Queue the most fucking annoying day of my life.

>>722385974
Obviously I was hurt by that, kind of felt like a big "fuck you you're not my bestfriend anymore and she is because the thought of spending time alone with you makes me not want to go".

When it really imploded was when I started a letter to her with "well fuck you too, buddy" (JOKINGLY) and also sent one of those curseword coloring pages (that said "asshole") to her. (We did the whole penpal shit)

She flipped the FUCK out and we got in a massive fight in which I ended up calling her out on everything in the past few years that had been building up
-her being selfish and only ever wanting to bitch to me and not listen about my life
-her standing me up all the time
-her turning everything into our life into a comeptition (i.e.- "well I mean I have SOOOO much more schoolwork to get done because I'm a nursing student")
- and just straight up her being an inconsiderate bitch