Alright /b/, I have the house to myself for the next 24 hours.

>>722349377
Got a pool noodle? Carve it up and put a condom on it - instant dildo

File: chicken.jpg (52KB, 490x497px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 490x497px

Warm up a chicken

>>722349377
Auto-erotic asphyxiation?

File: hamburger.jpg (38KB, 709x482px)

38KB, 709x482px

make a hamburger

>>722349562

YOU ARE A FUCKING GENOISUS

>>722349736
Choking yourself sounds like the worst fetish ever. I wouldn't want to pass out and have that be my final message to the world

Not OP but id like to know the best way o achieve orgasm with a bullet vibrator

>>722349761
>stileproject.com
Damn, I feel very old now.

Jack off with your feet

>>722349377
post uncropped photo

>>722349999
checkem

File: IMG_20161125_011730.jpg (34KB, 387x391px)

34KB, 387x391px

OP here. I also bought a Google Cardboard, but then discovered my shitty phone doesn't have a gyroscope or whateverthefuck to use it correctly.

I do have a high end PC though, any free porn games that aren't complete dogshit?

>>722350204
its not irrelevant, are you retarded? It opens him up to an array of things that would be opened had he said "im straight."

bigot detected, if he said im straight you probably wouldnt even have commented.

>>722350235
don't bother
i even own a vive and none of the VR porn is anywhere near worth it

>>722349377
Go into the bath arch your legs above you and pee directly in your mouth.

>>722349377
Need full source on that pic.

>>722349377
Fap while watching yourself in a mirror

>>722350044
>>722350733
Found it through Google Images.
http://www.fabulouslyfeminist.com/getting-to-know-yourself-masturbation-is-sex-positive/

File: 1469072191354.jpg (170KB, 900x1282px)

170KB, 900x1282px

>>722349976
Anyone have any ideas for me?

File: 416pNUOuqvL.jpg (30KB, 500x463px)

30KB, 500x463px

>>722351125
Got a Toys R' Us near you?

if you have candles they make for great anal toys, especially if you can heat them up and bend a bit to fit better

>>722351054
Oh well that's underwhelming.

just dont use candles and vegetables (carrots, cucumbers) if they break inside, only a doctor can get it out.

File: HTB1oxx2HpXXXXbTXXXXq6xXFXXXa.jpg (151KB, 1000x1000px)

151KB, 1000x1000px

If you take 3 of those airbag packaging things and Make the 2 end bags meet and hold it real fucking tight its great to fuck

>>722349377
look up sex shops by your area, get a tenga or some shit its like 10 bucks.

File: 1369764583687.gif (2MB, 960x720px)

2MB, 960x720px

Just... go buy sex toys.