Bro help is needed. My wife is 7 1/2 months pregnant. She is

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>>722040227

>>722040227
damn man, that sucks. you can't just tell your girl she flat out disgusts you, but at the same time your needs need met. The thing is, that this pregnancy stuff isn't forever, but it only gets worse from here until your child comes. That should make up for it.

Hang in there bro.

>>722040500
This makes me physically ill please god no

post her nudes

>>722040227
Man up and bang her.

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>>722040227
I just try to think about how my child is eating her body from the inside. That usually gets me hard.

>>722040732
Only another month and a half hopefully. I may have to tell her the real reason Im thinking. But not in a mean way. She is just so emotional and shit. Doesnt help that she literally is reaking of dill seeing as pickles are her main source of sustainable intake lately with all the fucking cravings she has.

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>>722040775

>>722040227
Just tell her the truth, She may be a bit mad but if she's at all reasonable, she'll understand.

And to quote previous anon, Your child'll be worth the pain of having a disgusting wife for 9 months.

>>722040227

I'll fuck her for you bro.

>>722040975
I have never been so flacid

>>722040227
Babies dont poop in the uterus.

>>722040944
>she literally is reaking of dill seeing as pickles are her main source of sustainable intake lately

Top Kek

>>722041367
They pee though I looked it up

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>>722041083

fucked the shit out of my pregnant wife many times. she was more in to it for the second child, first wasn't as much.

>>722040227
Married fag here: Ignore that shit and just fuck her doggy, that pussy is going to be hibernating very soon, and for a long time. You already chose to have a kid with her, and we don't get prettier with age.

>>722040986
I hope your 12 year old ass realizes that women aren't fat for 9 months retard...the first few months they look normal

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>>722040944
>Doesnt help that she literally is reaking of dill seeing as pickles are her main source of sustainable intake lately with all the fucking cravings she has.

jesus christ how horrifying

you don't have long left. you got this

>>722041714
Clearly ya don't know that most women get fat and it takes time to get rid of that fat after birth (Assuming she tries to get rid of it).

It was just an random, guess at how long she'd be disgusting.

>>722040986
Worst. Advice. Ever.

Pregnant women are anything but reasonable.

OP, just man up and bang her. Do it doggy style and get over with it.

>>722040500

This is just an ugly woman who became an ugly pregnant woman.

There are plenty of women who look good, or at least, better looking than this woman when they're pregnant.

>>722041714
Not to mention, pregnant women arent exactly what you would call reasonable. I offered her a back rub last night and she started crying because "I only want to look at her from the back where she isnt fat"

>>722041775
Foreal though I want to see someone fuck with someone who smells like a pickle. Not easy man.

>>722042219
This sounds like my personal version of hell.

>>722042219
>>722042024
Some girls are reasonable while pregnant.

>>722040227
Honestly though, having a 7 month pregnant wife is no mans dream. The pregnant are a bunch of cunts.

>>722042426
Well tell my wife that. She is normally a very level headed woman. Shes 23. But the pregnancy has made her a cunt. Its like shes making another human or something with the way she acts lately.

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>>722042594
Well, Most aren't.

Also "Making another human-being" while true, is not the best statement since the actual process is 100% unconscious and the woman is mostly just providing the fetus nutrients.

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>>722042594

>>722042792
Making another human is zapping emergy out of her like a 360 controller. Clearly you have never been around a pregnant woman for long bro.

>>722042926
What do you mean? I'm not disagreeing hormones are way out of whack or anything.

Just stating a interesting fact.

>>722040227
We did it in doggy style when my wife was pregnant. Sort of out of sight, out of mind.

>>722043016
Still doesnt change the fact tht she is growing another human and at this point it is anything but subconscious. She feels him kicking, cant sleep, eats a shit ton, and is tired constantly. Then she has this horrible sex drive... So no thsts not a fact. Unless you are suggesting its like she just cant feel our baby?

>>722043185
I havent tried doggy style. Im afraid she might accidentally fall down on her stomach and crush our baby hhonest to god. But I guess I am just going to have to go for it.

>>722043221
Please weird my comment again as you clearly didn't understand it my friend.

Also she's not growing another human, feeding one sure, not growing.

>>722043430
Nah man she iss growing one by feeding it. Their bodies are connected and shit. Pretty sure if you feed something to increase mass you are growing it.

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Be a good man. Be a good father. It's no longer about you. It's about the kid and how you teach them to handle themselves in a world that's getting more and more disconnected from what matters. Your temporary aversions come second to satisfying your wife and providing her with the comfort she needs to be the best mom she can be. Stop bitching and do your duty.

>>722040227
Anal

>>722043541
Yeah but, that's for like plants not humans.

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>>722043541
Gonna have to agree with OP on this one mate

>>722043567
I absolutely agree. I feel terrible that I cant satisfy her when she needs me. I just cant get it up yo.

>>722043717
Are you retarded

>>722043934
Are you growing a homeless kid, cause you give him some bread on your way to work?

>>722044061
In a manner of speaking yes. Just like how, every time you choke down a load from your dads cock, you are taking in nutrients and growing your body.

there is no excrement, babies don't excrete anything until they start using their digestive systems. there's nothing in there but baby so pump that woman full of more baby batter. if she is lactating and you don't like the taste, then don't drink her milk. instead treat her like a cow and milker into a bucket.

>>722043851
Force feed yourself viagra.

>>722040944
Seems like you're in a real pickle.

>>722040929
Thanks anon, I will never look at pregnant women the same. This is a good thing though, not expected, but still good.

Praise Kek, bless you and the anon who did the research.

>>722044061
When you eat certain vitamins to make your hair longer or nails longer, are you feeding your fingernails?

Almost there

>>722044226
HA! My dad always cums in my asshole! HAHA YOU ARE WRONG SUCKER!!!!!!

In all seriousness though, that's insane...Who the hell uses the term "grow" like that?

>>722044450
The fetus grows itself, so yeah, but the mother is just feeding the fetus.

The fetus is growing itself.

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>>722040227
stick it in her pooper, OP

>>722043658

this, lube her ass bend her over and pretend shes not pregnant

>>722040227
wait until her nipples are all long and chewed up

>>722044512
Pregnant women. Who are GROWING a child in their womb. She planted the seed and I watered it. Thats basically how babies are made.

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>>722044396

>>722044597
Ill only do that if I want my nuts chopped off and fed to our cats.

>>722044650
no YOU planted the seed

>>722044814
Actually you're wrong. He was right.

>>722044300
also buy a dildo that's larger then you for her and stretch her out a bit, it will help make the delivery easier later.

>>722044814
The egg is the seed though. My cum was the water.
This is the most off the wall argument i have ever had. This is all metaphorical.

>>722044878
Not how it works. Unless we have a 10 cm in diameter dildo she can just plug up with...?

>>722044650
They aren't growing it.

Also that comparison makes absolutely no sense, it's more that you provided half of the seed and she also had half of a seed and together they can form into one thing. Please learn biology dude.

Growing? STOP TALKING ABOUT PLANTS! We are talking about humans here and I refer you to this statement >>722044061

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>>722044870
>>722044913
the egg is the earth
sperm is the seed
earth just sits there until seed is planted inside it

>>722044607
So disgusting

>>722045123
Thats a different perspective. Im looking at the egg as a seed, body as the earth, and sperm as the water

>>722040227
oh man my wife was so horny during pregnancy and i also just couldn't make it happen. we were having a girl and it just weirded me out, knowing she was in there. we just didn't fuck for a little while.

don't worry about not keeping your wife happy for the next few weeks, because once that baby shows up you're both going to be sleepless, insane, and miserable for weeks anyways. nobody will remember or care about how much sex there was or wasn't in the lead-up to the beginning of the rest of your life.

my kid just turned a year, for reference. don't listen to any goddamn person whose kid is more than 2 years old. they've forgotten all this shit and how fucking horrible the first six months is. it's evolution--if we didn't forget we'd never have more.

the first 9 months is just straight-up survival. good luck. none of this shit will matter very soon.

>>722045123
Seeds fall from space? Thats a new concept...

>>722045288
earth as in dirt you dingus

>>722045288
people this stupid shouldn't be allowed to breed in the first place

>>722045053
Okay so I dare you to go up to a pregnant woman and suggest she is feeding a fetus while she eats. I guarentee she will give you a nasty look. Or you could say "Aw, youre eating for two to help the baby grow." and she will be fine with it. Absolute fucking retard.

>>722045434
You should learn to read what he wrote. As it's written. Turn off the autism comprehension and reread.

>>722045434
OP here, that wasnt me.

>>722045252
But you don't water a seed only once. Watering a plant is something that's maintenance, not genesis.

Also, almost entirely unrelated to your suboptimal metaphor: you're an enormous cuck, pussywhipped to no end by your wife.

>>722045492
What does that have to do with anything? Pregnant women are stupid.

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>>722040500

>>722045588
I find most people are stupid

>>722040227
>>722040227
>this is how she is going to feel about you and sex for the next 5 years.

>>722045588
At least they can create life. Which is way more than you will ever do with yours.

>>722040227
>But pregnancy is the most disgusting thing ever.
Kill yourself before you pass your pussy memes on to your offspring.

>>722045673
I find most people are easy to steal from.. Doesn't mean I steal from all of them..?

>>722044300

No, you're wrong. They do shit and piss in the womb you retard.

>>722045673
That's true, pregnant women are even more stupid though.
>>722045689
Why has 4chan been invaded by cucks and SJWs?

>>722045728
Found the feminist

>>722045689
Wewlad. I'm learning all kinds of shit on /b/ today.

>space seeds
>human women being asexual
Whats next? Water comes from meteorites?!

>>722045806
Nah I am just a good husband and dont appreciate anyone talking that way about my wife. Which makes me more of a real man than you dickweed.

>>722045986
Any retard can reproduce and call themselves a "real dad" you dumb nigger. Its poor, unintelligent folk like you that need to go take a shower.

>>722045986
I never insulted her...You just come across as a beta-fag or SJW neither of which are good things.

Work on being a bit more Alpha either that or stop being SJW and your life'll improve.

>>722045981
well... yes, and asteroids and comets

>>722046128
I didnt say I was a real dad. I said a real man. Clearly you are more stupid than the pregnant women youre going on about. Kek

>>722046174
Can you name the meteorite tho? Hint theres only about 200 samples of them...

>>722046247
That dude wasn't me, he was right though.

>>722046247
Not even the same guy.

I miss nametags... And haven. I loved that guy.

thank jayzus ive never got a girl pregnant

>>722046293
I don't think you're as clever as you think you are.

>>722046424
You're right with that one pal, in the very least if you do get a girl pregnant make sure she's a good girl (I mean that with looks, personality and how they obey you aka submissiveness)

was having a look at this earlier, cant rmemeber why now, but just thought id add this to add on to how much of a fucked up meme the human body is
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fatal_familial_insomnia
remember that next time you cant sleep

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>>722042792
>>722043016
>>722043430
>>722043717
>>722044512
>>722044588
>>722045053
>>722045582
>>722045981
Is this a thread for autistic people

>>722046749
I think you're mad for no reason other than you enjoy being mad.

>>722046843
in particular the sporadic one which isnt hereditary

>>722046871
When some guy wants to bring up things he think are stupid and over 90% of them is you.

>>722046906
well you're not wrong lol

>>722047103
I am losing track of who is who in this thread. Nametags did make things a lot simpler back in the day no lie.

>>722047251
Did there used to be nametags in /b/?

>>722040227
>But pregnancy is the most disgusting thing ever. How did you get through it /b/ daddies? Any advise?
I fucked the shit out of her and her mucusy snatch, also post birth the milk is weird but pretty tasty

>>722047370
More than once.

>>722047370
....yes.
Sure is summer in here.

>>722047479
Huh, sounds useful.
>>722047525
It's summer?!?!? I know what you ae referring too but it aint summer my friend and tbh I first went on here a year or two ago so nametags can't be that new.

>>722040227
bro, it's cool, becuz that shit gets mixed with lanugo, so you get a heapin' helpin' o' fibre with all the excrement!

>>722047641
Yeah, I miss them myself

>>722047380
Its sweet. I rather liked it when my old lady had a bun cookin

>>722047641
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Sure+is+summer+in+here

Fucking newfags

>>722047994
You're referring to the fact that during summer lots of kids n newfags go on here right? Well it aint summer and i'm not a newfag, been here for a year or two (Lost count).

>>722047641
Pssst
He is implying that you are new here

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>you are now aware there are people who have only been on /b/ for a year or two

>>722048326
Doesnt seem real
I miss ole moot

>>722048276
I know but it's still stupid, in the very least he could learn how weather works.

>>722045777
No they dont. Piss - yes. But urine is sterile. If there would be feces in the ambiotic liquor the baby would be dead by now.

>>722048429
The weather really doesnt have much to do with that meme. It developed as a code to single out and confuse kids who get on 4chan without knowing any of the culture.

>>722048489
You're right about shit, there have been cases where a baby shits in the womb and the doctors have to do a C-section to save it.

>>722048553
Sepsis right?

>>722048518
I've only heard it used to refer to summerfags.

Also, that aint really a meme...

>>722048429
Pshht
Have you even met Heaven?

>>722040227
having sex with a pregnant woman makes you a pedo. You dick is right near the baby, only inches away.

>>722048598
I really don't have a large knowledge on sepsis so I have no idea what you are referring too, all I really know is that it's a medical, condition thingy.

>>722048722
You prob gona try n come up with why if I don't know them, I'm a newfag.

But no, never met that guy.

>>722048616
IT WAS BACK IN MY DAY YOUNG WHIPPER SNAPPER
I BACKTRACED IT
YA DUN GOOFED. I ALREADY CONTACTED THE CYBERPOLICE AND CONSEQUENCES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

>>722048756
Your dick is also inches away from her asshole when you're fucking her too, so you're also a sodomiser.

>>722040227
You could try being honest with her, because you're not actively trying to hurt her and are entitled to feelings like a normal human being.

>>722040227
Give handjob, dummy. Pro tip: there's no baby excrement in there by design

>>722048834
Ya hear that everyone? He's never met "that guy"
>That guy heaven man

>>722048865
OH NOO!!!! HOW MANY CONFIRMED KILLS YOU GOT!!?!?!?!?! AHHHH!!!!!!!!!

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>>722048936
>Pro tip: there's no baby excrement in there by design
Shh, don't ruin his fantasy.
>MFW the first shit is black motherfucking tar

>>722040227
TFW I'm over here sitting a virgin and OP is out there complaining about having a loving, horny wife.

Lamao.

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>>722048961
Damn, you are really predictable for real...

>>722048961
Yeah, we should sage the shit out of Heaven if he ever returns.

that fucking Heaven faggot trolled like every single thread I was in

>>722049038
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo

>>722049085
Well, for the future, if you get her pregnant, when she's not a crying mess she's fucking horny and her pussy fluid is thick.

>>722049233
Goddamn it...

>>722049100
Heaven had absolutely no life yo

>>722043851
Stick in there. Don't worry about the opinions of the sheep

>>722049298

I don't have a "her" lol

>>722049100
If I ever get my hands on that faggot heaven...

>>722049496
Yet

>>722049496
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

All seriousness though, get /fit/, get Alpha, get Charismatic and fuck some girls (I also recommend getting RedPilled).

>>722040227
now's your chance to bang butt.

I sorta feel that all the people bring up 'heaven" are just one or two guys, samefagging.

>>722049699
Probably Heaven

>>722048961
"Ya here that everyone" I sorta feel that you are a kid who has been bullied so you are trying to repeat but bullies say but does not realize it's incredibly stupid.

>>722049699
>>722049778
Yeah... He has to still be out there... Fagging up threads... Biding his time until usernames come back and moot makes thebsecond coming and fights the SJW's and brings Armageddon.

>>722049778
FUCKING HEAVEN! If he comes back, let's us all just reply "sage" cause I don't think it's been done, just saying "sage".

>>722049925
Does saging even work anymore?

>722050019
Someone test it.

5th of whiskey and viagra did the trick for me in the dark times OP

>>722050019
Yeah it works

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You came in your bed, now lie in it.

>>722050210
But...The semen'll get on me, plus it gets cold after a few minutes so...

>>722050125
How the hell do you even test something like that without usernames

>>722050294
I don't fucking know xD

>>722040227
>How did you get through it /b/ daddies?
Step One: Don't be a fuckin child yourself, asshole.

>>722050294
>>722050352
Find someones fresh faggot thread, shut that shit down.

>>722049925
Is anyone ever going to explain what the joke is with Heaven?

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Hey faggits you have been visited by Paul the Britbong Paedo. Reply hello paedo or he will rape all the children in your family in their sleep.

As long as she doesn't have "baby brain" OP you are laughing.
At around 7 months my old lady turned into a fucking stupid idiot. She couldn't remember simple things like spoon (scoopy-thing) and forgot simple things constantly.
I understand that there is some sleep deprivation issues.I know them first hand.
I never turned into a procreating zombie though.
Pregnancy sucks.Mostly for us.
There is pretty much fuck all we can do but weather the storm.

>>722050427
Oh he was just some guy

>>722050427
Before when you just wrote "sage" in a post, it'd just show up as heaven so the joke is that people would reply saying things like "Hey Heaven" even though it was a bunch people, pretending it was a single person was the joke.

>>722040227
Seth?

>>722050574
Not cool yo. They don't learn anything if you spoil the newfags like that. They have to learn to google things themselves. Or do like we did and actually go to the library and pick up a book.

>>722050670
No. Kevin.

>>722050685
Pick up a book to learn about 4chan lingo?...Ooookay than also apparently I count as a newfag too since I had to google what Heaven meant.

>>722050282
Then ya shouldna nutted in the sheets, Jerry.

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>>722050795
Read this book

i doubt this is an original reply but

turn her over and fuck her in the ass

>>722050956
Might give it a read, thanks for recommendation.

>>722050795
You broke the sacred code man. Once you know who Heaven is, you are officially an oldfag. Youre not supposed to spoil it for newfages or you are autimatically a pussy tattling, chocolate milk spilling, anal plug licking, pig stealing great-great-grandfather 4 lyfe.

>>722051201
I did now know that how you became a oldfag...Although I guess that makes since not to tell newfags, only sorta though I don't fully get why.

Why is fucking a 9month pregnant not considered CP?

>>722051502
This is the real shit right here

>>722040227
preggo sex is the best. Loved it for 9 month. Miss it since then. But dont know how to get it back without the responsability for a fucking baby. Wanna switch?

>>722048769
It usually happens under the stress of birth. I.e. when it takes too long.
Yes its a sepsis. But under these circumstances its called different afaik.
Also: google meconium

>>722043851
its not so hard to make a pregnant woman come. Jeez, just go down on your pickle-smelling wife. Orgasms are good during pregnancy and whats good for momy is good for the baby

>>722052592
Convince your wife to be okay for you to be polygamous then fuck some already pregnant girls, problem solved.

>>722054513
The hard part is to find pregnant girls. They're usually not going out looking for dates etc. How would one even approach them other than being completely honest?

>>722055200
It can be a bit tough, and of course never hit on a pregnant which shows any sign of being in a relationship.

There are prego dating sites but they are for dating, not ONS generally, maybe you could try tinder and any girl who has an obvious baby in her stomach or admits she Is pregnant in her bio.

And while it's not common, if you see a prego girl in a night-club or bar well...And approach them like any girl, flirt with them n stuff and ask for their digits worst case is that they say no.

>>722040227
Grin and bear it, son. Grin and bear it.

It'll be over and done with soon. And if she's does what she's suppose to, her body will be exactly as before about 6-8 months down the line. My wife looks the same. Pussy even feels better. Hang in their dude

>>722055679
I think any of these situations would turn out to be strange eventually. Just can't imagine a girl who wouldn't be creeped out by that..

>>722040227

My wife was never sexier than when she was massively pregnant. Everything was bigger but she wasn't fat. It was awesome knowing I did that. I'd say
stop fixating on the abstract medical junk and focus on something about her you might be aroused by (bulging belly, massive tits, fatter booty or the fact that she's horny all the time and craves your cock).

If that doesn't work and you're in Florida I'll service her for a month and a half. ;)

>>722040227
>excriment

Excri-kill yourself

>>722051502

Because you're fucking the mom not the baby. Can't tell if poor troll or literally retarded.

>>722056831
Single, Pregnant girls are generally FLATTERED when hit on/flirted with, it never happens to them and it makes them feel better about themselves.

>>722043331
You sound like the most beta-tiered faggot in the universe.

Are you sure you aren't gay?

Are you going to make a shitload of excuses when you find out the baby isn't yours?

This is some Maury Povich level shit /b/.

>>722057877

This

>>722057877
I'm confused, what's so beta about that? Please explain.