I have a question for you, /b/ >>be me, 12 yo daddy's girl happy af >>dad dies stuck with strict Jehovah's Witness cunt of a mother >>life turns to shit, miss my dad like hell, mom treats me like shit, not allowed to have any friends who aren't Jehovah's witnesses >> 14 yo now, lonely.jpg, mom never told me not to talk to strangers online >> start talking to randos on omegle to keep from killing myself >> meet a dude who is nice af, super funny, tells me I'm pretty and shit >> decide not to meet him at first but we talk for months and we have everything in common he tells me he loves me and that if we lived together he would let me have friends >>finally become suicidal enough I decide to leave with him and fake my own suicide so cops wouldn't look for me >> get in the car and drive to California with him but shit gets weird, some stuff he told me didn't add up, house was dirty and disgusting >> he ends up raping me a couple times, finally realize what an idiot I am >>turns out dude was lying about everything, was actually a CP collecting, meth addict who planned to prostitute me >>cops find me next day and take me home where everyone in my family and moms church (the only people I am allowed to be friends with) shun me for what I did >>mom tells me I ruined her life and pulls me out of school to be homeschooled >>flash forward to today, still lonely but now added guilt of fucking shit up for everyone I know and making everyone hate me >>also hate myself for scum bag pedophile taking my virginity even though I kicked and screamed My question is: Was everything really my fault like everyone told me it was?
>>721849776 Came to the wrong place for advice. It's got nothing to do with you, pull your head out your ass and think for your self. Shitty luck and bad choices (the kind that every one makes, but usually don't end that bad). Sorry to hear about that anon keep going and make an effort to learn and better yourself plus move away from negetive shut like pepole telling a 14 yo getting raped it's her fault. Hope you get some good going for ya!
>>721850456 I can give you the name of the guy if you guys think it's all bs, then again I can't prove that that is real either. Either way I didn't mean to be an attention whore, sorry. I was just looking for people opinions since I don't have people to talk to. But like you said, everything on /b/ should be taken with a grain of salt anyways.
It's honestly slightly your fault. Not the suicidal shit, and not your father dying. But im sure you knew it was pretty stupid to run away to go live with some fuck you met on omegle (pretty much a cp site)
I'll never love you, and you can never meet me. But if you need someone to talk to, shoot me a message on kik. ThothTheAtlantean
>>721849776 my gf comes from a JW family aswell. met her in a psychiatry. she went there after a double suicide attempt. her parents (especially her mom) was pretty good at blaming her too. I took her with me after we were released and we lived together for 2 years now. I mean it was pretty stupid to just meet with random internet person but as you said, you were on the edge of kys so I can kinda understand. I'll try to make it short: No, it is not all your fault. JW's are just a bunch of sick fucks. Get the fuck out of there and never look back. Don't feel guilty. You didn't fuck up anything for everyone. Just try to get as far away as possible and learn to stand on your own two feet. Oh and go easy on the drugs. Fucked up people loose themselves in drugs. Trust me, I know.
>>721849776 If you would of followed Jehovah's teachings, you wouldn't be such a slut now and would probably still have your virginity. This is your fault. God gave you free will because you're an intelligent creature. But some of us are dumb as shit like you and let the devil command our lives. You did all this because of friends. You won't even make it to the afterlife now
>>721850784 I'd drop some way of contacting me, so you could exchange with my gf directly, she could prolly give more comforting words than I, though I only have facebook and sure as hell not gonna post that on /b/ kek
>>721849776 Your actions are your responsibility. You didn't rape yourself. It was a poor choice, but poor choices are especially a given in adolescence. Best thing to do is learn the lesson (don't necessarily trust people that sound too perfect) and probably seek out a therapist for the trauma. If you'd like someone to talk to, I could post my email address, and you could email me with proof that it's you. Otherwise, I wish you good fortune in coping with all of that shit.
>>721851204 Oh I'm infinitely grateful that it turned out the way it did. I'm so lucky they found me and I realize that. I just wish my mom was as grateful and that I had more of a support system. My reason for coming here at all was to try and make sense of why everyone has blamed me so much for this, if it is really as much my fault as they have me believe it is
>>721849776 >There are three forms of the virtue of chastity: the first is that of spouses, the second that of widows, and the third that of virgins. We do not praise any one of them to the exclusion of the others. . . . This is what makes for the richness of the discipline of the Church.
Your actions led to your having sex. If you had obeyed your parents you wouldn't be asking if you still had your virginity. You plenty of time to think about your actions and you chose the wrong path.
>>721849776 and the ugly people losers smell like shit and in this life to have a ok life dont get hurt by the ugly people losers the ugly way like by scinence and by magic and the ugly people losers smell like poop and have a comrbable life and the ugly people losers smell like dog shit
>>721851609 dude with ex-JW gf here: It's genuinely creepy. Whatevs, I just thought it'd help to talk to someone that went through something similar, especially due to all this sect indoctrination bs that causes a lot of similarities in behavior among different individuals that are members of it. What you revealed about your mother so far is pretty in line with the behavior of my gf's mother.
>>721851609 Personally offered email. I figured I'd try to help you come up with a plan to deal with this shit. It's going to be a throwaway, and I'd expect the same of you, to be honest. All I can do is offer advice and consolation to the best of my abilities. I'm definitely not perfect. I understand bringing suicidal, personally. It's shitty. Can only speak for myself, though. The rest could be genuine or creeps.
Soem situations lead people to do what they, so who's fault it was is a subjective thing in my opinion. How ever you have to take responsibility for the choices you've made whether or not they were you 'fault'.
I'd just try to pick my life back up and just kinda try to ignore everything that's happened.
>>721852221 Yes and I have always been respectful and kind to her and thoroughly expressed my appreciation for the basic things with which I was provided but on here I point out her lack of teaching me basic safety skill and providing me any emotional support as background infoetmation to answer the question. I see where you are going though. Parents are all inherently deserving of a certain level of respect based on the basic things they do for their children
>>721850964 >God gave you free will That whole cult is rub on paranoia and fear of doing ANYTHING wrong, for fear of being shunned or expulsed from the cult. That feels like the rug was removed from under you. I went through it and you see who your true family and friends are. None in that church. But they will begin to talk to you if they find out that you have money, or at least manipulate your family to get to you.
>>721852475 No, but I was taken to the hospital after for rape kits and stuff so they gave me the emergency contraception pill, took blood samples and continued to have routine blood samples for a couple years after to make sure I hadn't gotten anything. Never did which was a miracle but I suppose you don't get a really dirty dick when you're just fucking kids
>>721852544 Nightmares every night reliving everything that happened exactly as it happened and then usually another one that is also about being raped but with slightly different outcomes like the police don't find me or he starts torturing me after
>>721852440 ex-JW gf person here (I feel silly for typing this every time): so should I set up some throwaway account for anything? It's cool if not, most understandable considering your story. Would use it to give you gf's and my fb (we can also skype if you want to make sure she's not a fake account of mine). You can hit us up if you feel your sanity slipping or whatever. As I said, gerfag so meeting isn't an option anyways. Just feel kinda compelled to offer as much help as I can since yea.. This one strikes very close to home.
>>721852722 That's seriously so sweet of you, ex JW gf guy XD I think I'll be fine though, this thread is surprisingly therapeutic actually but I really appreciate you and everyone else here who has had genuine, honest, supportive, and though provoking things to say
>>721852820 mkay ._. Well I tried. Offer stands I'll be lurking for a few more hours. Just promise to keep your head up high and your heart as far away as possible from this toxic sect/cult/whateveryouwanttocallit
>>721852753 Also don't listen to any medication advice on 4chan. But you seem smart enough, you probably had this already figured out by yourself.
>>721853260 You have a good sense of humor. Enjoy your stay on /b/.
Also, fun fact: most states allow Psychologists to prescribe medication. Always seek out a Psychiatrist to prescribe medication to help you, as they've had to take significantly more medical schooling for that specific degree.
>>721853472 OMG speaking of good sense of humor and prescription drugs if you're in the mood for a laugh listen to John Mulaneys bit about Xanax. He's a comedian and god that bit makes me laugh so hard every time
>>721849776 What you did wasn't very smart, but I still don't think it was your fault. Also your mother sounds like a psychotic controlling fuck, you should move to a different state as soon as you possibly can.
>>721853749 JW: I wouldn't say cancer is less dramatic. It slower, that's for sure. Was he JW, too? My gf's dad was apparently much kewler when she was younger but at some point started to hardcore sink into "bible research" and became a total nutjob.
>>721853709 It wasn't just him dying though. I grew up my whole life in Hawaii where hospitals are really shitty so to have brain surgery to remove some of his tumor we had to go to Oregon (where my parents were actually from) and while we were gone we missed one mortgage payment on our nice ass house and my dads mom, whom we split the mortgage with, took that shining opportunity to shove us off the agreement. We came home to all our stuff thrown on the street and we were homeless for a while before moving in with family back in Oregon, my dad just wanted to die in his own bed but his own mother used a loophole to fuck us over
>>721853907 My dad was a JW too but he wasn't born one. My mom was born one. My dad did drugs and all kinds of crazy shit when he was younger and he was even an alchoholic for a while when I was growing up so JW but less strict than my mom
Also op go to college in a different state if you can, and in a farther away corner of the state if you cant. Make friends with actual people who care about you and then once you graduate get a job and don't go back to your mother until she forgives you for what wasn't your fault in the first place
>>721854089 I like that advice. I've been working since I was 15 at a job I actually like that pays more than minimum wage which is pretty lit and I'm hoping to move to the east coast soon to go to a veterinary college there
>>721853936 JW: So much poison in your family. I'm kinda impressed you're still alive after all this. I mean I've taken my load of shite too but that is some dark shit (especially taking into consideration what you haven't told us so far and I'm pretty sure there's moar). Was your mum also brutal when it came to punishments? My gf was locked in the toilet for 2 days without food or water because she came home late (from visiting a JW friend ofc, no other contacts allowed)
>>721854182 Honestly I'm surprised I'm alive too kek. My mom isn't quite that brutal but pretty close. When I came back everything was so overwhelming, no electronics obviously and I couldn't lock any doors or even have them shut all the way, even in the bathroom and I could take showers longer than ten minutes just random weird shit
>>721854056 JW: lol the similarities are striking. My gf's dad was a biker before becoming JW, doing drugs and whatever shit bikers do. My dad was a biker as well, been in jail for 7 years for possession of cocaine and heroine and nearly beating a dude to death that touched his then wife's tits while drunk kek He's super chill nowadays though. He helped me and my gf get an apartment after we left the clinic (I was living with my grandma before)
Sadly, yes your own decisions are your own fault. Had you stayed associating with only JW's none of this would have happened. You dont realize everything they do and tell you is for your own protection, until it's too late.
However, this jerk is to blame for his own actions as well. I hope he dies a horrible death. Also, he will reap what he has sown with his life. Just pray that he did not give you any diseases.
Your mother needs to be more compassionate. I suggest you go to your elders and tell them you know what you did was wrong, but that you want them to forgive you and you want their help. They will help you. Some JWs are hardcore, but they forget that Jesus showed love to everyone and they need to follow his example. Remind her of that.
Is that you in the pic there? You are 18? If all else fails, come back to CA and I will take care of you. I'll even be your boyfriend so you wont be lonely anymore. Im an ex JW myself. Been slowly going back to meetings. You can come with me.
>>721854302 >doesn't understand that applies to attentionwhoring If OP wanted to attentionwhore, the likelihood that they'd refuse contact this hard is low. Calm the fuck down, put your big boy pants on, and ask your mom for some tendies, you deluded fucking autist.
>>721854325 >I was there for stimulation if he mind >if he mind
Sounds like your mind could use a bit more of that stimulation.
Pro tip: use the cam next time. Then you can see if the guy is a creeper or not.
Pro tip #2: nobody on omegle cares about you. It's just there for girls who like age play and guys who like jb. It's actually quite a convenient arrangement- it just gets fucked up when it becomes long term. Indulge your submissive age play side, then move along. Everyone wins.
>>721849776 As others have said, it's certainly partly your responsibility - that's a question of fact.
Whether it's your fault is a question of judgement and punishment. Very different.
I'd say that in addition to seeking counseling (since you clearly need to talk about this experience), you should not unconsciously adopt the same painfully strict and cruel attitude about yourself that your mother and her church do. She's a cunt; don't be her.
Instead ask yourself what your daddy would do, and be more like him. I suspect he'd be upset, maybe even spank you, but in the end he'd forgive you and love you as much as always.
So your answer is right at the beginning of your story: be more like your dad, and feel how much he loves you even now. If you can remember to love yourself like he does all will be OK.
>>721849776 Well, yes and no. You did make those decisions back then. Can't deny that, right?
But, you were 14 and at that age I doubt many of us make good decisions. Some worse than others amd some peoples bad decisions become our burden as well.
You will turn out ok. Plenty of time ahead to make things right. Enjoy the ride. A family can be a way for you to improve and make better all of the bullshit you went through. Fall in love, lose love, and fall in love again. Youll gain more perspective. Help someone no matter how small. Always be the one people owe favors to but only ask for return when you absolutely cant do it yourself. Show integrity, its all you have. When you do harm, apologize. Measure your words. If you have kids, make their lives better than yours, but make them work for it. Read... read a lot. Get outside and work out or hike. Find a hobby, the mind needs release. Forgive people. We are all fucked up in some way or another, unfortunately depending on how bad, we can really hurt others. Do not take regret to your grave with you. Watch great movies. Cry. Laugh. Eat good nutrious food. Drink too much sometimes. Take a day off of work just to do fucking nothing. Breathe deeply and count to 10. Smile.
>>721849776 You should track the pedo down, drug and ass rape him with a dragon dildo strap on online. Wear a gimp mask or something. Profit. It will make you feel better. I promise. Call the dildo Jehova so that you can give him a religious experience. When he's fucked and gaping drop a super heated ball bearing into his rectum.
>>721854820 not your fault. kids do stupid shit, its the adults that are supposed to guide you and nurture you. but keep in mind, shit parenting does NOT equal shit life. its up to you to make your life better. get help wherever you can and start working on your outlook, self esteem, and mindset. fixing shit childhoods takes time. you deserve to give yourself that time.
>>721854820 Hey I'm sorry shit went the way it did. Losing a parent is never easy, you feel completely lost especially if a different lifestyle is forced upon you. I'm in Los Angeles so I know you'd be skeptical about going back to California but still, if you need a friend I'm here for you.
>>721855332 no, whiteknighting is when you go to ops defense without considering why everyone else is bashing. ie: omg everyone youre not a whore like everyone is saying. or hey these guys are posting your nudes and facebook info.. check out the site.
JW: >>721855332 yup >>721855350 " White Knight A person (usually a male) who sees the typical maiden in distress, and believes that he can help her. A male version of the "mother figure" that some girls become."
No it's not your fault at all. That's an absolute shit tier situation you found yourself in and it's 100%, absofuckinglutely one hundred percent your mom's fault for not protecting you when you were vulnerable.
Hope you're doing better these days but with a past like that I wouldn't be surprised if you just spiraled hard and became a neet or something. Did you ever go to therapy?
>>721855748 Here's where i think this is a load of nonsense: You come to /b/ and don't respect the rules of tits or gtfo.
But I'll bite, why dont you go and look for a job and get yourself away from your mother, you will be able to meet some people and save money and eventually move out? I mean, set some goals for yourself, it will give you something to strive for.
Alternatively, go to college, live on campus and get a job to pay for it if you must.
I'm sure you are a bright young woman, so you will figure out a way. Don't get so down, you have your youth, looks and brains, be proud of that. If you are insecure, build yourself and stengthen those insecurities.
>>721849776 Wow hun. It's your fault buts its kinda not. Your we not equipped with the right tools to survive. If your were a street kid you would have told him to fuck off, the nice confused lonely depressed gal that was seeking male guidance and companionship. You are perfectly normal, oh and how old are you now?
>>721856176 Idk I'm still lonely af (hence talking to people on b at 6am) my grandma (whom my mom and I lived with) just died so we had to move to a new place and our new landlord is more easy to convince on the topic of pets and I am obsessed with animals, hopefully going to be a veterinarian, currently volunteering at humane society, but I've never had a pet and I want a cat so bad just so I won't be so lonely but mom says no because cats are dirty so that's been shitty
>>721849776 You have a bad support system. The best thing to do is make a better one. Find good people who you can rely on and be there for them when they need you. You dont have to abandon your family, just keep them at arms length and understand their opinions dont matter and their anger or dissappoinment is not relevent to your life. As far as the rape, it happened. Are you a person who was raped and will go on to lead a happy life, or a person who lets your rapist win everyday by punishing yourself. Everyday you find something to be happy about you beat all of them.
Good. Anyway here's some psychoanalysis on your mom. The reason she freaked out at you over all of this is because women have an intense visceral reaction to any criticisms of their parenting. When this shit went down, no doubt every single reasonable person in the community knew it was her fault and was giving her massive shit for it, and what do shit tier moms do when they treat their kid like shit and get shamed for doing so? They very irrationally blame their kid for the hostility they're receiving, in this case creating a rather cruel situation where she compounds hate and vitriol on you at the absolute worst time possible. It's an absurd set of behaviour that falls well out of bounds of normal civilized behaviour. You might find some like minded souls red-dit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/.
Yeah I know it's a Rebbit link but idgaf. Anonymous online pseudo group-therapy can be extremely mending and I'd recommend checking it out.
Also I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Life fucking sucks sometimes, for some more than others and unfortunately you got a royal dumping.
Go volunteer at a pet shelter. They love the helping hand and you'll get to socialize a bit which will be good for you.
I would personally recommend not actually tying to become a vet. The effort/reward is pretty fucking high and it's rather thankless. Vets suffer pretty hard from emotional fatigue because of the sheer difficulty of their job, the fact that so many pets come through that they can't help simply because of costs and because owners can be such shits some times.
>>721849776 JW: need sleep. hope you'll manage. as I said, get away from that hellhole, don't regret, don't look back. Stop blaming yourself. Also fuck you because I'm going to worry about you for at least a month you cunt. Keep your head high. Hope we somehow manage to run into each other again, though chances are slim. bye ._.
Seriously I would highly recommend volunteering. Don't fall into the long term neet/social recluse path. Trust me. I've been there an I know others who have been there. Any way you can get out and socialise with people will be extremely good for you, and socializing at a shelter will be safe and interesting and they'll appreciate your help. Go as soon as possible, the longer you go the hermit route the harder it is to pull yourself out.
>>721857705 What the fuck are you even talking about. It is a valid point. OP was deflecting all responsibility for not having any common sense on HIS parents. HE refused to take any responsibility for HIS own actions
OP here, this has been really lit /b/ros. Most I've talked to people in a couple years. Made me laugh and enlightened me a bit with an external opinion on my situation. Ive gotta actually go to sleep now but thanks for all the insight and surprisingly low amount of kys and togtfos
OP here again. BTW I'm actually 16, everything I talked about happened 2 years ago. Just said I was 18 so I wouldn't get banned before I got to see rhe thread also why I didn't do tits because you know cp. I know I know "reported"
Goodnight, I hope you do well and find true recovery. You're at a very important stage in your life right now, it'll be hard but you still have a ton of potential to do well, don't waste it as a recluse. God speed.
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