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Why aren't you having sex /b/?

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 229
Thread images: 29

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Why aren't you having sex /b/?
>>
Im trying... bitches play games these days.
>>
>>721691300
Don't know, what about you?
>>
>>721691300
>aren't having sex
>/b/
*ahem*
>>
>>721691586
No legit reason just excuses, laziness and rationalizations
>>
Because I have to finish a draft of my presentation and send it to my research adviser by tomorrow because I'm going to a conference on Friday. Also my gf is cleaning herself right now so I we can bone later tonight
>>
>>721691300
I'm in vegas with a chick I used to fuck all the time. Thought it'd be a good time.

Getting shut down for no reason all of a sudden. Terrible vacation.
>>
>>721691783
Plenty of hookers in Vegas, ditch her and get one or three
>>
>>721691300
My wife and I don't have sex during the week. She gives me bj's though and sometimes lets me come on her face. Tonight I will be having sex with myself.
>>
>>721692073
Any suggestions? I picked up one of those Korean agencies once. Chick was cute, but 600 was a high price to pay.
>>
>>721691783
Tell her you are dtf if she is, see whst happens.

p.s. She's on the rag.
>>
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>>721691300
>Wife is at the in laws for family shit
>TFW tuesday night are sex night
>tfw cock blocked by the inlaws yet again
Pic not related
>>
Cuz i just did, geez get off my back. Plus, i gotta fuck my wife tonight. Gonna take a miracle after the session that just ended. Balls fuckin drained
>>
>>721692279
That's gay. So only on the weekends? I don't know how you don't just find a side chick...
>>
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>>721692602
tfw
>>
>>721691300
I'm recovering from a kidney transplant.
>>
>>721691300
Because I'm masturbating in the bathtub, apparently. Duh.
>>
>>721692602
I think she goes to the in-laws to have sex with her side dude and to not have sex with you.
>>
>>721691300
Because wife is preggo, and I felt the baby move and kick last time we fucked....

NOPE NOPE NOPE.

I'll wait till its out and she's clear to fuck.

Or break down and take her offer for her ugly sister.

Meh pussy is pussy i guess...
>>
I don't like hooking up and i'm too much of a fag to get a gf
>>
>>721692426
I think she got a boyfriend, but still wanted a trip to Vegas. She basically said if I ask her she "might". I don't know. She's not hot enough for me to give that much of a fuck.

I took her because I couldn't find a better girl in the time I had. Now I'm regretting coming at all.
>>
>>721692876
Lol she offered her ugly sister as tribute? Lololololol I would take it and do horrible disgusting things with her. Things your wife would never do.
>>
>>721692876
You fucking faggot
>>
gf away, and im a faggot that gets off from fapping on cam with other guys
>>
Cuz my dick is fucking small
>>
Because my girlfriend is sick at the moment and I'm waiting until she's better
>>
>>721693180
lol does she know you that?
>>
It's against my religion.
>>
Because she's at work
>>
>>721693395
nope lol. i love my gf but i also love watching and being watched fapping with guys on cam. never fucked a guy or anything. just cam
>>
>>721691300
Wife bores me. I cum into my kids panties and blow dudes though so fuck me.
>>
Op why did you ruin your legs???? DAMMIT!
>>
>>721692876
You gotta fuck the sister dude. best thing i ever did was fuck my sister-in-law. After the divorce i kept fucking her for over a year. Now i see her every few months for a haircut and she and i always kiss and fool around afterwards.
>>
>>721693539
Ha cool man, do you babes
>>
>>721691783
Aye! Vegas here too!
>>
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>>
We're working at the idea of getting back together. The space we have apart is good for now. She came down for a few days about a week ago. It was awesome.
>>
>>721694061
That's a nice meme there mate. I also like the Me Gusta or the Trollface meme there some quality memes not stale at all
>>
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>>721693621
>>
>>721691300
i don't deserve to op.
>>
>>721694001
Sweet. What hotel you at?
I'm at the Encore.
>>
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>>721694380
>>
>>721691300
my wife just gave birth so her vagina is sore
>>
Tried with my fwb housemate last night but couldn't get it up because I'm not that into her, I was tired, she surprised me by wanting sex, then refused any foreplay so didn't even give me a chance to get hard. Wasn't thrilled by the experience
>>
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i will spam this thread till we do it you fkin pussys ill spam till fkin tomorrow u gosh damn niggers you think ill give up sike i won HABBO RAID JUST TONIGHT LETS DO IT U NIGGERS
>>
>>721694460
I'm not visiting, I live in this shit hole!
>>
>>721693084
k then. not sure your point or reasoning...k
>>721693071
Trust me. Been thinking on it.
Things wife wont do?
ehh....what does she not do... Still testing boundries...so far she hasn't turned down anything.

Even took dp with me and my cousin.
Let the dog hump her.
tried bondage, neither of us are into too much.
Both of em have rape fantasies....kinda how we met...
Took her to a gloryhole and she took all of em including a 50 something trans.

all thats left to try is pretty much illegal or impossible to obtain on our budget....

Everything gets her off soo....
>>
>>721693610
Why would you do that? Shes your baby. You used to clean shit out of her vagina when you would change her diaper. I know cause I'm a new dad.
>>
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>>721694565
>>
>>721694582
kiss it and make it better
>>
because i am sitting here.
>>
>>721693872
I might breakdown and fuck her now...
Or wait till baby is born, then get em both at once.

Fucking pussy while eating another one is the fuckin shit maaan.
>>
>>721691300
>She's not in my bath
/thread
>>
>>721691300
I don't have enough money to by a hooker.
>>
>>721694910
That part right there.

You will never know how scared and nervous a human can get until:
You have to clean the shit from inside your kid's vagina while at the CPS office with a social worker staring over your shoulder.


Everything you can think of to NOT make it look sexual....looks sexual to them...
>>
>>721691300
I could ask you the same
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>>721694786
I almost ended up here too, but luckily dodged that bullet.
>>
>>721692972
So ask her to fuck, but tell her to dump the bf. Tell her you want to be with her, that it's OK if she says "no," but that it will make her feel really good while you are doing it.
>>
she broke up with me two months ago and i'm being a humongous faggot thinking about what i lost
>>
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>>721695299
wait... wut?
why is child protective services watching you change a diaper?
>>721691300
we fucked when i woke up this morning. I'm good, thank you tho. also that bitch has shit tats in the worst places.
>>
>>721693180
Does gf know? I asked my wife for this.
>>
Had fight last more than a week, probably gonna ditch the cunt. Plus she'd always say "squirt it inside me" and sorry but the word squirt when your fucking is a climax killer for me.
>>
>>721695667
>that bitch has shit tats in the worst places.

Yeah the tats are horrendous but her body is hnnnggg
>>
>>721695735
faggot
>>
>>721695479
Lucky you, I can't wait to get the fuck out.
>>
>>721695800
eh, ive seen better. maybe a 4, lets be real here guys
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>>721691300
Because making money is more important right now.
>>
Cuz i'm fucking autistic with females.
>>
>>721695667
Because when they take your kids away, you go to visit, and trying to get them back...

They watch you like a hawk.

At least they are supposed to anyway.
Don't blame them, what with the shit that goes on anymore.

Better than the fucktards who ignore abusers and take from good families because the non abused kids are easy sell.
>>
>>721693610
Stop doing that to your daughter. You know it isn't right. Tell your wife about the infidelity. Anon, you made a commitment to this woman. Honor it.
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>>721691300
married a long time. Wife cannot into sex.
>>
my gf is embarrassed of her vagina yet we fuck quite a lot, unfortunate though as she has no self confidence and doesnt want me to eat her out n stuff
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>>721695886
drunk 6, better than average!
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>>721695820
So when you gonna blow me?
>>
>>721691300
Wife's in the shower. Shower sex sucks.
>>
>>721691300
My wife is waiting for me in the living room but I'm on /b
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>>721694582
What about her asshole?
>>
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Ayy
>>
>>721691300
I spent my college years studying instead of learning how to attract women. After that, I worked my ass off to further my career instead of learning how to attract women. Now I'm a depressed kissless wizard who makes six figures. "Success" is overrated.
>>
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>>721695976
Sober 7.5 if you're into chubby emo girls
>>
Im sick as a dog right now.
>>
>>721695997
Shit bruh, shower sex is fun.

Use conditioner as lube.

fun times.
>>
>>721694691
Sounds terrible! A girl tried to fuck you.
>>
>>721695959
i would be embarrased about my vagina 2, if all i could take was microdick
>>
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>>721692972
>cucking yourself this hard
>>
>>721695630
Same except it was about a month ago and a week before my birthday cuz she's a bitch, so no more sex for me.
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>>721696104
Drooling moar please
>>
>>721696166
well she needs a lot of foreplay as it would hurt when i just fuck her immediately
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>>721695945
Lose weight then you fat piece of shit
>>
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>>721691300
I actually am
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>>721696086
loook at that, like a collage of mistakes. let see,
snapchat dog filter, check
racid tattoos, check
nipple piercings, lord help us.
you're doing a good job OP
>>
>>721691300
Fat.
>>
>>721696276
Here ya go nigga http://imgur.com/a/rDjvi
>>
>>721696104
sober 6, blazed 3, drunk 8
>>
>>721696104
I am very much into chubby emo girls
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>>721696393
Forever alone
>>
I'm at work.
Wife is home and side chick is at home with her family
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>>721691300

I fucked my wife just two hours ago before she left for work this morning, thank you very much.
>>
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>>721696276
>>
>>721696272
bitches, man
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>>721696286
i bet she does
>>
>>721696390
praise kek
>>
I'm an insecure beta asperger-holding no-muscle-having depressed-ass son of a bitch
>>
>>721696515
Not really. Had 3 GFs. Just hard to find.
>>
>>721696559
Fucking right.
>>
>>721695959
Talk to her about it. Ask her to work with you, maybe being around you bottomless and working up to her lying un front of you spread. Reassure her that there's nothing to be self-conscious about and that this will bring you closer together.
>>
>>721695959

Why? Is there actually anything wrong with her squish mitten, or is she just being neurotic?
>>
BECAUSE YOU ARE ALIVE!
>>
honestly cause im broke af. otherwise, i have a nice dick, alright face/body and im pretty good in bed
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>>721691300

Because I just had sex and I have to wait thirty seconds before I can get a boner, again.
>>
>>721691300
Because your father fucks you in the mouth when your mother's asleep.
>>
>>721696459
trap alert
>>
>>721696607
I feel ya bro
>>
>>721696461
topkek
>>
>>721696097
I lost it 32, anon. Married and happy. Don't give up on yourself.
>>
>>721694582

This is a great time to fist that cavernous hole. Quit wasting time here and go use her like a hand puppet.
>>
because my gf is completely nonsexual and it feels bad
>>
>>721691300
Gf is working right now
>>
>>721696763
>http://imgur.com/a/rDjvi
Nope not a trap.

You can see just the top of pussy.
>>
>>721696616
>had three girlfriends
you know when u can't even look at them for more than five minutes that doesn't count right?
>>
Tuesday's are game night.
>>
>>721696883
Wtf is the point then? Honestly.
>>
Mad a bad investment and lost to much cash to even want pussy atm
>>
>>721696801
How? I don't expect too many women are interested in dating a 30 something with less relationship experience than most high school students.
>>
>>721696651
yeah but what if her snatch is actually really fucked up.
talkin' bout that pistrami sandwich yall know whats up
>>
>>721691300
I'm at work, it's frowned upon
>>
>>721691300

smoking a cigarette is more satisfying.
>>
>>721696826
Just be carefull.

Done that and wife's uterus fell.

Give it some time to strengthen first.

Also, tell her to do kegels. She'll know what it is.

You don't want to be fucking a grand canyon and not feel anything anymore.

then she leaves you for a nigger with a monster cock.

all cause you had to fist her cause you thought it might be hot.
>>
>>721696651
thanks, ill try it this way next time
>>721696659
she just finds her own vag disgusting or something. even right after we leave the shower but dont know if that is the real reason
>>
I am
>multiple times per night
feelsgoodman.jpg
>>
>>721691300
A majority of females around my age, and in general, turn me off.
I also don't like a large majority of people.

What makes most people what they are, I don't like those things.
Ignorance, delusion, impulsivity, I don't like it.
Seeing so much self destructive behavior, seeing so much behavior based on delusion, it disgusts me.
>>
>>721696097
>wizard with six figures
"Hey dumb 10/10 slut hows it going? Actually I don't give a fuck I make six figures suck my cock."
Come on nigga your path is clear
>>
>>721696891
does the dyed hair make anyone else want to puke? the color reminds me of my vomit after I drink an entire bottle of robotussin
>>
>>721697012
I would fuck you.
>>
THREAD TERMINATED
>>
>>721696097
Let me tell you: sex is overrated bullshit.

If success isn't good, sex is even worse.

However, if you want to be happy, applied psychology might have some things for you.
>>
I don't understand female psychology and every time I try to even get into a relationship I end up doing wrong when it is her fault not mine. Right now I am giving her space but I am scared that she will leave me. The same thing goes for her she is scared that I am going to leave her, I even said I was going to leave once but she cried for me not to leave so I stayed. What do you guys think?
>>
>>721697382
your sex just sucks because you never learned how to be human.
hope them dolla bills buy happiness cause you aint get shit from other people
>>
>>721697210
It looks ugly,
but on the other hand, every woman I've ran across with rainbow hair puts out easy, as long as you get to know em.
Only takes about a week or so.
>>
>>721697417
she is going to leave you anoncuck. you just suck ass at being a good boyfriend. please. work on yourself before you thrust that shit on other people
>>
>>721697273
How do I find people like you irl? I'm worried everyone will think I'm a creep if I show any interest in sex. Should I just be upfront about wizard status, or "fake it till I make it?"
>>
>>721697530
yeah. I heard you can live for years with out even knowing you have HIV
>>
>>721696999
Checked
>>
>>721697679
do you have a skill that you are good at?
>>
>>721697486
If this was facebook, I would give you all of my likes. for this post.

From every damn alt account.
>>
>>721697486
>because you never learned how to be human.
I was at my most human from middle school to high school.

Doing drugs, having sex, getting girlfriends, hanging out with friends, wasting my life.

>hope them dolla bills buy happiness cause you aint get shit from other people
It helps get me equipment for my hobbies, and I still get a tiny kick out of them.

>cause you aint get shit from other people
Ain't that the truth.
I'm not like most people; so, I have a hard time making a deep connection with anybody at all.
>>
>>721697679
Everyone on the world has lust but doesn't show imo
>>
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>>721696121
>conditioner as lube.

nigga...
>>
>>721697720
check'd lewdly
>>
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Look at this Dick
>>
>>721697736
Yep. I write software to make the dollars. Software isn't sexy though. I used to be good at skiing, but I'm out of shape now since I spend my days on my ass in front of a computer.
>>
>>721691300
Cause I'm not going to see my gf til the 11th
>>
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>>721697417
You Guys Don't know the situation I am in. Not a cuck I am 19 very sensitive and am in need of someone to hold.
>>
>>721697100
with a girl with completely fucked up self image issues, hates every bit of her body. still wants to fuck, but hates anything that involves me seeing her body. It's been 8 years.

You can coax her along, and try to make her feel comfortable, and work her through everything slowly - but you can only do so much. If she wants to change how she feels, help her see a therapist to work through some of it.
Alternatively, just get her drunk. She'll loosen up and let you do a lot more stuff when drunk.
>>
>>721698022
okay first and foremost is you start doing that again. just have fun with it thats all you have to remember. and find other people who code. just start lookin' around. you know there are probably women coders too. I find that beauty isn't always about looks. maybe you don't need to be fucking your bitch everyday everwhere all the time, right? maybe y'all would just prefer to code some viruses to fuck with some kids or something. lol just an idea, don't listen to people on the internet
>>
>>721691300
Why is that water so blue?
>>
>>721698022
and BTW, if you try to fake it, you'll find yourself in a situation you might not really like.... like a scat party or a freaky orgy or something. just be yourself
>>
Because im lonely
>>
>>721698413
probably some kinda bath bomb
>>
>>721697787
you where most cowardly in middle school, yes.
stop tryna flex on that shit, i kno YO PUNK ASS only eva smoke that redgie ass kush and "fucked" them easy ass hoes. I said YOU don't get stuff from other people, i didn't not intend that to be a universal human statement
>>
>>721698092
can I get a hell yes on the long distance relationships?
>>
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I'm married
>>
>>721698316
Mark zuckerberg is that you?!?!?!?
>>
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>>721691770
well keep browsing 4chan then you mindless faggot
>>
Lets be honest, because I'm skinny and beta
>>
>>721698413
fucking lush bath bomb, look at the enviroment, she is literally the exact demographic markets it self toward. faggot.
>>
cuz imma pussybitch
>>
>>721698358
i have been with her for a little longer than 3 years and she just dislikes every part of herself.
i in the end dont want to push her in doing things she REALLY doesn't want
>>
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Ya Fuck all ya I am done.
>>
>>721699015
thats the truth
>>
>>721699061
Can't tame the ZUCK
>>
>>721699061
see pic
>>
>>721691300
Because it's vulgar and discussing!
>>
>>721699032
lol u should rape her lol, just to be a clown
>>
>>721699032
yep, that sounds familiar.

it's not an easy fix. Pushing her a bit is fine if she wants to make you happy, but you have to be careful.

I do honestly recommend getting her at least half drunk sometimes, that drop in inhibition can help her push past some of the mental shit that blocks her usually.
>>
>>721699165
this happening right now?
>>
>>721699436
dont be a cunt, just walk it off champ
>>
bitches get so thirsty for these cuban links
walkin' like I got money, imma do the money walk
>>
Because my old lady has an appointment for birth control and isn't alowed to fuck for two weeks prior.
>>
I'm a 37-year-old man who went through a shitty breakup a year ago, and that relationship had already been sexless for a year.

Online dating is a joke. Previous bitch gaslighted me all to hell and broke my confidence. She hates me now and says anyone she sees me trying to hook up with, she'll tell them I raped her.

I don't want kids, and certainly don't want someone else's kids which rules out 90% of the 'single' women in my age bracket. And if I did get into a relationship, how long before she becomes an abusive cunt like the last one?

I've more or less given up.
>>
>>721699548
Just asking, curiosity and all that
>>
>>721699678
maybe she doesn't want yo smelly ass dick in her feminism
>>
>>721699286
has it worked for you?
>>
>>721699772
you wana see something funny?
>>
>>721691300
Because Im tired of putting up with drama and bullshit. Seriously considering packing all my shit and going to work on an oil rig for a few years.
>>
>>721691300
Because I'm at work having a shit and it's 02:18 in the am
>>
>>721699869
thats me y'all. fucking this poster>>721698313
>>
>>721699874
>>721699944
double post please stop
>>
>>721699869
I'm afraid to ask.......
>>
>>721694786
>shit hole
>>721695479

Where would you guys rather be that's so much better?
>>
>>721699815
Actually she turns into a massive cunt if I don't make her orgasm at least every other day
>>
>>721691300
it's a tuesday night and I work tomorrow
>>
>>721691300
Because I had sex this morning and my wife had to go to sleep early.
>>
>>721691300
Because I'm a cuck and my fiancé is with her bf
>>
>>721700046
yeah. u mean by buying her shit or doing her homework? fuck outta 1/2CHAN
>>
>>721700002
Nice try
>>
>>721699758

As for how it got that far, one day she'd be screaming at me, telling me everything I do wrong, everything I do is wrong.

The next she'd be sobbing in my arms, saying she couldn't live any more and making me promise to take care of her cat when she was gone.

Bitch trapped me because I honestly thought she'd kill herself if I wasn't there.

So, yeah, that's why I'm not having sex. Not sure I will again at this rate.
>>
>>721691300

Because a /b/tard basically
>>
these bitches love sosa
you boy aint makin' no noise
god yall some broke boys
>>
>>721691300

because I'm too pathetic and weird to attract someone.

Also I seem to have no ambition in life, except waiting for death. or the death of others
>>
>>721699821
I haven't got her to see a therapist about those specific issues, because she doesn't like talking about something she's ashamed of and hates.
the rest though?
short-term, if I push her boundaries gradually I can get her more okay with the idea. if you're fucking multiple times a week you can push her boundaries on one night and then consolidate for a while. Nothing too sudden.

Getting her drunk? works wonders. can get her to do things when drunk (And love it) that she'd normally spend her entire time feeling shit about. Also the best time to push her boundaries.

If she's got any fantasies or kinks she's into, try pushing towards those when she's had a few drinks. if it's something that turns her on mentally she'll be a lot more open to it.
>>
>>721700201
just the wrong girl, sry friend
>>
>>721700201
high quality bait right there
>>
>>721691300
>Why aren't you having sex /b/?
Because my wife is meeting at a hotel with a dude that isn't me
>>
>>721691300
still getting over my ex boyf dumping me ):

give it a couple weeks
>>
File: 1484992687331.gif (2MB, 242x201px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1484992687331.gif
2MB, 242x201px
>>721691300
I'm fat, a shut in, and not very smooth.
I also have high unrealistic standards from when I was in shape in college and don't want to fuck the girls that do hit on me currently.
>>
>>721700383
thanks for the advice, ill try this out this way next time.
>>
>>721700448
Story?
>>
>>721700539
anytime. Just remember to be careful and push boundaries slowly, because if you fuck it up and take it too far she can regress.
>>
>>721700646
bump
>>
>>721691300
>because i can't care for people longer than 3-4 hours at a time
>not attractive at all
>too picky
>not that smart either
>generally just a shit person
>>
>>721694926
Gimme sauce
>>
>>721700393

Oh, I know. Problem is the age thing. I am not going to deal with a single mom which severely cuts my options. Also not going to deal with some desperate women with a ticking clock to needs to have a baby, and now.

So I can date a decade younger, but those girls don't give me a second glance. Doesn't help I went gray early and probably look 10 years older than I am (the ex helped with that too!).

>>721700440

Sad, true OC, my friend. Not even baiting. Feel free to record it for pasta if you think it'll get a rise from someone some time.
>>
>>721700646
this right here :D
>>
>>721695903
>uses the word 'females'
that's were your problem starts, buddy
>>
>>721691300
Because I can fap fifteen times for free in the time it would take me to go to a bar, spend money in watered down drinks and, if lucky, bang a 6/10 I don't care about, which would make me feel empty and disgusted with myself.
>>
>>721700823
i dont even remember why i responded to your post, I am not going to copy that shit. split yo comments up, that format is gay
>>
>>721691300
trying to go ivy league, cant be getting people pregnant
(also i'm not unattractive and have a cute gf but i'm so socially undeveloped it would never happen, i'll have to wait for college)
>>
>>721691300
I'm a fat 18 year old nerdy neet who's an introvert, and has no future ahead of him other than working in a restaurant or some shit
>>
>>721701049
u wait ill college and thats how u become wizard
>>
File: 1441139657926.png (167KB, 350x403px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1441139657926.png
167KB, 350x403px
I have nothing going on for me and I'm starting to panic a little because my twenties are over soon.
>>
because im pooping right now
although thats not something i wouldnt be opposed to..ill see what my gf thinks...
>>
>>721701245
do cocaine
>>
>>721701142
i know, that's what scares me. I'll just keep working out this summer and get in even better shape, i'm sure things will fall in place
>>
>>721699969
>>721699165
If thats her i must know if theres moarrrr
>>
>>721701349
work on your personality more, meet and connect with more people. thats how you get this social activtey done. you talk to people
>>
>>721701421
no there isn't more stop being a normie
>>
>>721700174
We're married, she's 26, not sure the fuck you're talking about??
Thread posts: 229
Thread images: 29



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