Got a question for you, /b/ How can you handle your life when : >32yo >Gf dumped me after so many years together. >Dont have any friends anymore, as most of them are far away or married/kids. >Spend my days looking for girls on Tinder and another dozen of dating apps. >Have a lot of hobbies but cant spend time on anyone of them because it feels like wasting time. >Every hour or so, I end up looking down for new girls, swipping, messages, answering stupid conversations.
Im kinda obsessed with all this. At the end I dont want them for sex or casual dating, just an ego boost, knowing Im not a loser.
And after all these things, you visit girl profiles with no pictures and they have around 1000 visits and 500 messages. A depressed girl can get anything she wants, its SO easy for them...
Anyone else in my same situation? Any tips? Any way out of this? I know if I could meet girls in other places it would be totally different, all that counts in these apps its just 1 picture and maybe other 2 and having a lot of luck. Im not made for that kind of things, specially when turning 33 next month.
How about you stop whining and feeling bad for yourself and figure your shit out.
It ain't rocket science, faggot. Do what brings you happiness. If nothing does, then you did a shit job trying to find "it".
Here's a start, try doing something nice for someone else. Either someone who deserves it or a stranger. Volunteer at a animal shelter. That kills 2 birds with 1 stone - makes you feel good and gets you an "in" with majority of girls.
>>721109693 Its more like thinking >"Im 33 already, I know if I dont get a nice girl now, I'll end up alone or getting the worst one, divorced, single, woman with kids, the one with problems, and so on"
When I was 22-25 I didnt care about being alone, I went out everyday meeting girls, friends, fucking here and there. But from 26 to 32 I was dating and living with my exgf, thinking about creating a family and living the life that way. In my town there arent a lot of possibilities, its a small one (150k-200k people), so its so hard to find interesting girls.
>>721109766 Im trying to achieve small goals every day, some training, trying to look younger again, feeling good with myself. But if I try to play a videogame or watch a film I always tell myself "What Im doing with my life instead of looking a partner or trying to work better?"
>>721109996 Its been only 2 months ago, after a 6yr relationship. She ended up with the typical vulture guy who was behind her saying "Im your friend, tell me everything, your bf doesnt deserve you, I can talk with you every single day at any hour" You know what I mean, there are garbage like that everywhere.
>>721110009 Its /b/ after all, but yes, its so fucked up.
>>721110094 Im actually a freelancer, working from home its hard in times like this as you end up waking up and working in your pyjamas. I would prefer to be in an office, talking with people
>>721109408 kinda the same sitution here >32yo >broke up with gf after 7 years >all my friends are married with kids the difference here is rigth now women are at the bottom of my list wanna start my own bussiness, going to the gym because i end up gaining 44 pounds during my relationship just now i have time to do wherever i want
OP here >>721110398 Thats actually pretty helpful anon, Its nice to see Im not the only one around. I have a project I need to finish, send it as a cover letter to a big company and trying to get a new and nice job, but I couldnt work as this happened during christmas, still recently.
I guess I should forget about girls and start focusing on myself
>>721110368 Yeah didn't know it was only two months ago. It takes some time before sanity returns. But really - a good(ish) diet and hard-ass excercise will speed that up considerably. And see people (normal people-people not tinder fucks) even though it may suck at first
>>721109408 1. Hit the gym. Best way to meet women un person besides the nightclubs. 2. Stop thinking like a woman. You are fine. So she left you. Big deal. No friends. Start new things like a night class or yoga. Bitches love yoga and you will be able to make FEMALE friends. Why do you want to hang with other men? I'm 38 and I only have female friends. More importantly just give it time.
>>721110658 >>721110609 After 6 years with her, my only consolation its to think it could be a lot worse if we have gotten married or kids. This way at least I dont have to see her anymore.
>>721110746 I actually thought the same anon, asking in /b/? am I crazy? But guess what. I already made 6 threads or so since this happened back in december. And without lying, 80-85% of the answers where SO positive and helpful. Im still surprised about this.
It also helps knowing you are not alone, not only in your town, but in the whole planet posting here in such a big place.
And about medical advice, I already went there, talked with people, took meds, but it still haunts me every night and during the day.
>>721110753 That could be nice, Im actually working out at home, but I could start going to the gym and meeting people there. Im kinda "afraid" thinking there will only be big/muscled men around. But yes, I need to go out.
So I started an OkCupid account. My friend who just sits in his room and bitches about women and how it's "impossible" to get a fuck buddy off of online dating inspired me to see what this shit was about
>First girl has a few pictures literally nothing on her profile
>Message her with a smartass remark about how I enjoyed reading through her profile
>She responds back with huh? I don't think it has anything on it"
>Wait who are you? do you know me?"
She's obviously a fucking idiot, let's move on
>Girl 2 some cute uni blonde messages me "Hi. What's up?"
>We make small talk and out of nowhere she starts talking about how she was sexually abused by her parents and how she's been raped in College
>I don't respond for 30 minutes and I get this huge barrage of messages about men being pigs in general
>Look at her profile and her gender is genderflui female-something
Yikes moving on
>Find girl 3 who is too fucking stupid to hold a conversation or discuss anything
>She talks like an illiterate nigger and starts immediately asking how much I make and how much stuff I've bought for previous dates/girlfriends and if I have any kids
>Girl 4 is seemingly normal
>We talk for a bit
>Decide to meet up for some fuck
>Yep, definitely wrapping for this girl, any girl who's that quick to jump into the bed has obviously seen more dicks than a stadium urinal
>She keeps giving me the "youre special" "I don't normally do this" "you're my first off the internet" bullshit
>One day later, her husband starts sending me messages threatening to burn my house down and kill me
She starts messaging me again saying she can't believe I raped her, etc and even sent me pictures of cuts she inflicted to herself on her arm telling me I did this to her
And my account is now deleted. OkCupid isn't difficult but Jesus Mother Mary Fucking Christ, women are batshit insane. I expect some insanity from bar/club girls but OkCupid women are on a whole new level of fucked up insanity
I am not sure to what gyms the anon goes to, but you don't get to know people in gym really.
People wanna workout there and apart of some (male) Queens who workout together, this isn't really a place to find friends. Especially females are more likely to be annoyed by anyone as they are constantly stared at and being approached by horny guys.
However, it doesn't matter where you get to know people, even Tinder and other dating apps can work, as long as you are somewhat comfortable with yourself.
Go to the gym and work out. If you don't like it, find a job that requires hard physical workout such as a bicycle messenger. This will not only keep you physical fit, but also mentally.
Another thing, don't be desperate... just let things happen. People feel the desperation of other human beings and might not feel comfortable around you as it created pressure.
Try therapy if anything else fails, but look for modern therapists or even therapist schools as they are willing to try new approaches.
OP here >>721111400 Tried OkC, Tinder and many others, even considered to pay. But yes, I found lots of problematic girls there.
>If girl wants to fuck the first day, or even sooner than expected.. thats a red alert. Imagine having her as a gf... Anytime shes depressed or you cant answer her or have an argument, she could go out or facebook and do something like that without hesitating.
>I meet girls who didnt want to give any information about what did they study, work, pictures, and so on. Most of these still have boyfriends/husbands and if they are doing that to them, or leaving them for you, BIG red alert.
>And the rest of them? Lots of problems, depression, I hate men, every single one of them are the same, I prefer looking the interior but you have to be this way, I only want 9/10 guys..
And of course, they get 500 messages per day, they can choose anyone they want. Its so easy that way..
>>721109408 You're like a dog, greedily lapping up its own vomit. You're looking for women to validate your existence. You've foolishly built your life on a woman because your father didn't teach you otherwise, and your soul became entangled with her. Now that part of you that attached to her has been amputated, and you're bleeding from the wound. Learn your lesson instead of racing to make the same mistake. Go be lonely for a while, it gets better, and when you're in a good place, a girl will find you. A man doesn't need to find a woman. A man who has learned to be his own foundation doesn't need to seek out a woman. They are drawn to him.
>>721111974 women can always date up. try being a 4/10 male and no 4/10 girl would even think twice about allowing you anywhere near her if you didn't have money or something to offer her. you can always find a horde of thirsty guys to buy you shit at 4/10 female. and at least 1 or 2 semi chads to fuck you. if you want real love it might be a little more difficult, but i'm pretty sure females don't know what that is anyway.
>>721111845 Thats what I think. Most of the girl I know who were in a gym, they are listening to their music, working out for the time they are there and then bye. All that without counting they will have men around all the time, men used to talk without hesitating and dont giving a fuck if the girl doesnt look them to the face.
>>721111974 I dont think there are a lot of problems even for 4/10 girls. Now turn that into a man. Imagine a short guy, bald, fat, anything. A girl can always wear highheels, makeup, hair extensions, breast fillers, anything she wants. Now think about a man trying to use anything of this.
And even without wearing all of that, there will be always messages for those girls. Always. I tried that and most of them have their ego boosted over the clouds, with hundreds of messages.
I dont think girls have any problems at all. They even can have friends just for a drink and nothing more, just for feeling themselves better and then telling them bye. A man can crawl for any kind of girl. But think of any girl crawling for a 4/10 man.
>>721112079 This. online dating is like reading a book and then you go and meet that person in person and it's like the movie. And movie is never good enough as the book cause we imagine them perfect. That's why online dating rarely succedes.
I've fucked more 20-25 year olds in my 30's than I ever did in my 20's 33 is a prime age to go on a tear. I'm not even joking. Young girls think you have it all figured out and can't wait to sit on your dick. And I'm a single father of 2 kids so I have a lot of baggage and it never slowed me down.
Yeah... why should they talk to you? I mean, I go to the gym and I am bicycle messenger. I have similar issues you do and I am 35 already. Anyway, when I go to the gym, I don't wanna talk with anyone, I wanna workout, listen to music and switch off without anyone disturbing me. Why should girls be any different? They basically feel the same shit you do, they don't wanna be annoyed and go to a gym to "switch off".
>>721109408 Bro just get over it. Just be happy and stop putting pussy on a pedistal. Find a young girl? There's plenty of 21-29 year old dating older guys. Just focus on what you want. Example, if you meet a girl while you're doing your hobbies (got a m8 who met a girl while going for a afternoon bike cruise, they raced and refuelled.)
You're coming off as desperate. Just remember, you've got worse problems than nogf.
>>721110238 I lost my ex of three years the same way, OP, except I considered the vulture a "best friend." Fuck those guys.
I firmly believe in karma. So you know what you do? Fucking move on with your life. Find ways to better yourself, to make yourself more confident. If working out and getting ripped does that for you, then go ahead. I've been doing it and I'll tell you what, I've always been that little fat beta who was always afraid of women saying no, but after the break up, I just don't give a shit anymore. If I meet someone I wanna shag, I just tell her straight up and don't beat around the bush. Once your ex sees you give absolutely no fucks about her, and that you're doing so much better without her, she'll come running back, begging for that dick. But you'll know better by then, OP. Don't give in to temptation, because she's just going to do the same thing to fuck you over again.
OP here, honestly I think Im rushing down just because my ex end up with her "best friend who understood everything and was there in her worst moments", and I want to be with another girl too. I happened to met them this past saturday, and I was just with my best friend having a beer. Felt devastated, even called her this past monday, tried to rebuilt everything again. She seemed ok with it, but as soon as she arrived home at night she changed her mind "dont talk to me again, forget about me".
So yes, I think its time to focus on me. If I go behind girls, sending messages to profiles I think I like and talking for hours on whatsapp it may sound Im too desperated. And girls always sense that.
>>721112990 Not that, Im afraid of STD while eating a pussy. Im too paranoid about that. Maybe a small injury in my teeth or something and who knows. But just meeting and fuck with a condom doesnt fill me up.
>>721113001 Thanks anon, really helpful reply. There are times in your relationship you cant see all those alerts, and that vulture garbage its always there, specially on this times where anyone can message through whatsapp, kik, facebook or twitter. Its so easy to them.
I tried to get back her, she didnt want to. As I told here >>721113066 And at the end I know if we got back together, she will do that stuff again. Looking for "friends". She kept me saying "its just my friend, are you too jealous or what?". They dont deserve people like us.
Don't worry, focus on yourself and just block out all contact with her. Being happy is the best revenge, and her rebound bf will get his life fucked up by her, as will she because rebound relationships are the fucking worst.
>>721113292 Well, as I've stated, find ways to boost your confidence. Not for her. Not for that vulture scum. For yourself. You want to better yourself so you can be able to look at yourself and say to yourself that you're doing great. When you can tell yourself that, women think that's more attractive than some desperate fuck. No, you gotta work on yourself before you can work on another woman.
I'm the same guy from >>721113001 After my big break up, I moved back in with my parents, went back to school to learn a trade, which is working on cars. Been slowly bettering myself, and she's already coming back to me after less than a year. I have that bitch three chances, and every time she would go running back to him.
Fuck 'em, anon. There are better women out there, and you gotta let her come to you. When she sees you're doing good by yourself, she'll want in. That's when YOU decide whether you let her into your life, or if she's just another exgf waiting to happen.
>>721113855 Also, I know it may seem like I shouldn't have a say in this because I'm only 23, but I know exactly how you feel, OP. I had everything figured out with my ex. We were already living together and in talks of getting a house together.
I'm glad things happened the way they did. She was a lying, cheating scumbag, just as he was, and after a couple of months (like seven now I think), I'm already getting the poon from other bitches. Fucked my first black pussy last week.
>>721113855 Thanks, I dont see myself giving her another chance. She fucked up real hard and I always think she could be cheating or lying to me if I managed to get back to her. Im sure there are better girls out there. And yes, Im also sure that vulture doesnt have a true chance. In fact, his facebook its full of pictures of them together, changed her status to "in a relationship" but her facebook instead, doesnt changed her profile, and only shows pictures alone. So thats a big point.
Its hard going back to your parents house, specially when being 32yr, but I think it was for the best. Sleeping alone in the bed wasnt helping at all.
Anyway, thanks to all the people for the positive replies. For times like this, /b/ shows its true face and it really helps. Good luck to everyone.
Good you had a women. Remember most on here have never known that. Now your life is yours do whatever the fuck you want. I'm sorry you don't like videogames as I would rather play them then deal with another two faced whore.
>>721109408 O but u ARE looser. Ditch the apps, relax, do your hobbies a little more, go look for real women when you get frustrated. Not using an app. Using real social network, meet people socialize, meet women
>>721113855 Also, did you kept contact with her? I blocked her because I couldnt stand seeing her profile pictures everytime with that guy. After she proposed being friends I blocked her and she did the same. Being friends with your ex? Hah.. that would be so depressing.
> 26 > Sacrificed everything (social life included) to come to the US from 3rd world country and go to school here > Get job right away > Be successful af > Become sad at how I couldn't have a gf back then > Sad that I wasted my youth > Meet 18yo qtpie girl ouf of nowhere > For some measure of a miracle she actually likes me > Date > Feel like we're soulamtes > She hints at wanting to be mine for a long time > Happiest I've been in forever > 7 months pass > She falls out of love > We break up > I was too busy with work, focusing on it > Realize I just fucked up > Nothing makes me as happy as she does > I lost my once in a lifetime chance to live a long happy life
>>721112628 Be different. Sounds corny, but it's true. I wear a suit every day. I don't need to, I just got tired of seeing every beta fuck in skinny jeans and a hat and decided that if you want to be punk rock now a days you have to go the opposite way, so I threw on a suit (makes staying fashionable way easier, never goes out of style and you don't look like a tool trying to dress young) and defended it. Always get asked why I'm dressed up and I reply, because I'm a gentleman and have respect for myself. (Panties drop) you become the most interesting guy in the room.
>>721111923 This. A thousand times this. Take it from experience.
I was 28, working fulltime for not great but not horrible pay, living with a girl at her house, all while spending half my time with my kid by another woman, the rest doing school, work and fixing girl's house. Funny enough, I finish fixing her house, she leaves me a week later. I thought I was going to spend my life with this girl, blah blah blah, so I was pretty emotionally devastated (had never cried from a break up before). Then I did the same thing OP is doing, got easy (aka crazy) pussy on okcupid, tinder and pof. I sank deeper into depression and self doubt even though I was smashing chicks regularly because what I was searching for wasn't what I needed, but what I thought I needed. When you're emotionally weak and feeling unloved / unaccepted, it's an easy pathway to figure that finding someone new to validate who you are will make you feel better and get you back to that warm, comfortable emotional space you used to be in. What you need to do is, as cliche as it sounds, prove to yourself that you're worthy of affection by doing good at other shit in your life. I became less and less interested in easy pussy as that thought became louder in my head. I focused more on my family, going out to concerts (and not trying to get some broads number after a handy in the bathroom), school and working out.
Shortcut to five years later, I've got my masters and an awesome job in private banking in Manhattan, I'm building my own nice 2100 sf house for me and my part time kid, driving a nice sporty small mercedes and putting away lots of savings. I deleted all my accounts on those dating sites and I hardly even think about getting laid outside of a 'man I wanna fuck her' scenario, and I'm getting laid more than ever when I want it. Your cup will runneth over my friend, just take care of yourself first.
>>721112079 I disagree. so many of the female profiles literally tell you not to just say hi.. and the number of fedora wearing "i'm just a nice guy trying to find a nice girl" dudes who start by saying hello, nice to meet you, they dont get a reply and immediately call them uptight bitches.
>>721111974 do you not get more messages per day than op does? "oh but they're all terrible" right but you get the messages... so statistically you're more likely to find a guy than he is to find a girl on okc
girls are always bitching around how "guys are always the same" but they can choose from 100 messages every day. Then on the other way ask that to a 6/10 guy, he will crawl even for that 3/10 girl who decided to reply a single message.
>>721109408 You, my friend, need to chill the fuck out some.
Chasing pussy is for teenagers, and horny 20-somethings. At this stage of life, you take advantage of the fact that biological clocks have started to tick... ANY single woman your own age can be talked into bed, because they'll convinve themselves that you could be hammered into shape, maybe, and you know... tick tock tick tock...
As long as you have a social life, you'll have no problem getting your dick wet. If you don't have a social life, delete the fucking dating apps and get one.
>>721109408 Nobody understands male loneliness, anon. It will take another twenty years. Women have a different set of problems, so go easy on them. If you need someone to talk to, I'm willing. Do you KIK?
>>721114119 I lived with my parents into my thirties. Now I live in a home that I own woth my life. Misfortune finds us all, no matter what. Sometimes you just have to endure before things change. Be patient, and don't be so hard on yourself.
>>721120076 I think both you and I have no idea what it's like to be female. It's gotta be something like having to be constantly pestered by someone who is onlu giving you attention so he can ream your asshole. I don't think either one of us would like it.
Its fucked up when you are on your 30s and see a Tinder thread here, with 200+ matches and you barely get 10 with a lot of luck.
And yes, if you are a girl even if most of those matches are desperated guys, I bet there are plenty of ones who can give you a nice conversation and be ready to have you as a gf.
And Im going even further. Are you a 5/10 girl? You can wear every kind of cheats for increasing your ranking. >You can always be taller, as much as you want, even if you are 5'0. >Flat chest? no prob. plenty of society-accepted bras. >Spots on your face? Makeup >Getting bald? Hah, no way.
And Im stopping because there are plenty of these.
>>721122638 Does this really work? Should I delete anything else? If thats the case I'll wait a while, prepare a new bio and take better pictures. I bet most of the girls dont even remember who they swipped left
OP here again, I didnt leave. Stayed all the way through. Im happy every time I make a thread like this, I end up reading such replies and good advices. Thanks, its always hard to be alone again, specially at 32yo and after being dumped by the one you loved and lived 6 years.
Just for you to know, Im making some screen caps as I did from previous threads. Im still reading some of them and they really help, specially late at night, when I cant sleep and cant help thinking in all of this.
The other day I was telling a friend about a site where I found all these positive replies, but I obviously didnt tell him it was /b/. Who would believe this?
Thanks again and I wish you really good luck on your life.
I was in OP's situation pretty much but realized I was being a retard before she broke up with me.
Started fucking other girls behind her back and not giving a fuck about her antics and lo and behold she's now mad in love with me again, probably because I'm a whole lot more confident or something.
Women aren't even aware of what they really want, they're in a neverending delusional state and lie to themselves constantly, however, subconsciously, they can smell your weaknesses from miles away, they're like animals and they should be treated and regarded as such.
>>721122803 I have a dear friend who is an awesome person, but has no tits. Her friends get guys and she doesn't, and it makes her sad. We're all human, anon. If you could turn into Chad Thundercock when I hit "post," you would complain about how your last hookup refused to suck your dick directly after anal. So be grateful for what you do have. For your sake.
Same boat as you anon, let me give you a brief of the last 6 months >32 >19yo girlfriend ended it with me and took my cats, she was an animal in bed, but damn did I love those cats too. >lost career job of 10 years >evicted from apartment where I lived for 10 years >lost car >best bro dies in car wreck >spend month in mental health unit
I've completely lost everything. I started a fetlife account just so I could have some fucking conversations with women.
Physically there is nothing wrong with me, I am attractive and with current trends younger women ~18 to ~25 tell me I am charming and handsome. My sense of humor has always been great and I make people easily. Yet here I am on dating sites and apps with no motivation to further anything with anyone other than the quick conversation or comment.
Mentally though, massive soul crushing apathy and depression have rendered me almost incapable of talking to someone in person or making any plans I can hold up at all. I've been seeing doctors the last couple months and taking meds and using a variety of coping skills but literally nothing has worked so far. Wish I could tell you there is a way outta this, but my doc told me last week he doesn't think my depression and apathy will ever be cured, only managed.
>>721123052 Well, sorry to hear about your breakup, but I think it's really healthy that you have recognized that it is over and even acknowledged that you had some good times together. There's another girl out there for you, anon. Right now she's doing something girly. When you meet her, you are going to have a lot of fun.
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5 If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.