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N-need help Anonymous? Ask a p-psychologist anything! Therap

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 123
Thread images: 65

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N-need help Anonymous? Ask a p-psychologist anything! Therapy w-with a dash of tea!

Are you unhappy? Alone? In n-need of love and advice? I'm h-here for you <4 Don't s-suffer in silence~!

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0NECkiKVzPd
>>
Hello Alice :)
>>
>>720848495
I'll give you a bump
>>
im jorkin It over HERE
>>
reminder this started on 9gag
>>
Show us the dog Alice
>>
Evening Alice! I'm glad to be here today, got linked in as per usual~ I'll be here waiting and lurking, bumping when needed!
>>
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>>720848495
*cuddles the Alice*
>>
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>>720848608
....y-you need a l-lot of help. L-let's hope my tea c-can do that for you!
>>
I’ll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.
Spread
>>
>>720848796

don't ever reply to me again
>>
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>>720848495
i think im gone need some therapy after that skype new msg sound scared the fuck out of me
>>
>>720848495
Sometimes i wonder if bears should have human rights. is this normal?

(i can expand on my reasons if need be)
>>
>>720848967
rekt
>>
>>720848796
Alice may I ask something about you?

Where did you burned and how big is the scar?
>>
>>720848495
Evening from England, Alice!
>>
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bump

:)
>>
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>>720848967
>>720848967
H-here, let me pour you some of t-the tea I selected <4

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0U5RhzlTLKz
>>
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>>720849057
They obviously should have bear rights.
>>
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>>720849007
*patpat* It'll b-be okay.
>>
>>720848967
*don't ever reply to me or my son again
FTFU
>>
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>>720848967
so rude
eat a dick
>>
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>>720848495
How many tours did your dog do in Nam?
>>
Do you draw all those faces yourself?
>>
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I'm slowly dying of illness

-Nico
>>
>>720848495
I've just been having a rough week recently, it's more problems that I have nothing major.
>>
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>>720849344
Better pic
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Standing by.
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Ah yes, this tea will help with my meditation. Soon i will be one with the universe
>>
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>>720849206
*poke*
>>
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>>720849525
Other people just smoke weed, you know?
>>
>>720849411
You ask as if there's any possibility i'd say no. Love some, cheers!

I'm a long time lurker, but tonight I feel like I could do with some advice...
>>
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>>720849525
kewl
>>
*Occupies like, half of a couch*
What's your personal favorite for tea?
>>
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I like the new dress, Alice~

- Cirno
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Why are maids so cute?
>>
Hello Alice, thanks for showing up again. I wish i could have some tea, but I'm at work for a bit.
>>
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>>720848495
I have a problem that has been effecting my life since I was 5 years old. Every time I start off in a new school, or work place I get an unwanted stalker. No, I'm not going to call the police because I don't want to deal with the law and shit like that.

My last stalker was similar to pic related, she used to show up at my house and feed me, watch everything I did and blow up my phone. I had to move away in the middle of the night to get away. now it's happening again fml
>>
>>720849688
age doesn't matter when you're in the shit
>>
>>720849675
Alice is not a moonbitch.
>>
>>720849591
A cold, but it's from New York

-Nico
>>
>>720849688
So i'll keep it brief, long time girlfriend, raped in the past, we currently have sex related issues but she's not sure how to get past it.

I am a thick headed man and can't really offer her help.
>>
>>720849901
S-sounds like your tactic of avoiding t-the correct solution to your problem is n-not paying off.

>>720849954
Oh, I h-have one too!
>>
>>720849525
experience tranquility
>>
>>720850063
zenyatta
>>
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>>720849931
You are!

now make this pose!
>>
>>720849960
...is s-she in therapy? That's n-not really an issue you can work through alone.

All you, as her significant other, can do is b-be supportive and caring....f-for her to move past it, she r-really needs professional help.

I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry Anonymous.
>>
>>720849931
Almost out of here, just got to clean then drive home.
>>
>>720850024
It should be gone by tomorrow night, but it's gonna be a bitch while I have it.

-Nico
>>
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>>720849901
The only way to obtain a more robust solution is to involve the judicial system, anon. Look into a restraining order.

If you insist on being stubborn, could you please at least tell us what you think is the behavior that leads to these obsessions? There must be something that you're doing that is leading these women on.
>>
>>720848495
I will be hanging myself once my child is old enough to understand and I've left her with a good chunk to move on. How can I help her understand my choice?
>>
>>720850284
Have a v-very safe trip!

>>720850288
I w-wish I could help! Is it j-just a cold, or possibly t-the flu?

>>720850350
Restraining orders are r-rarely effective, sadly.
>>
>>720849831
Best teaste
>>
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>>720848495
Alice lemme get up in those guts bb
>>
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>>720850024
I can't take it anymore, I know you live in NYC and so do I so I know you now how bad the winters can get here. This girl followed me home from Manhattan, into Ward's Island, to my place of work at the psychiatric hospital, into Randell's, and all the way into the Bronx in the freezing cold in the night. That's not fucking normal.

>>720850350
I smile too much and I'm too easy going and laid back.
>>
>>720850391
L-let's take a step back: why are you hanging yourself? Let's s-start with that.

Because no matter what you do, you aren't going to make her understand your choice. As someone who has suicidal thoughts nearly every day, that's not something you can communicate to someone who doesn't have them.

So help me understand, Anonymous.
>>
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>>720850125
>>
>>720848495
A lot of time I think that someone is following me or watching me. I cannot sleep or stay at one place for too long. I don't think I am schizophrenic. What should I do?
>>
>>720850429
It's only a cold, I'll be fine. I have survived worse.

-Nico
>>
Why is it whenever someone is talking to me and I'm watching them talk while nodding along I get a very strong urge to punch them in the teeth or throat ?
>>
>>720850536
B-bring her by Midtown and I'll r-run defense for you. Other than that, you pretty much are g-going to have to involve the NYPD.

But I'm not sure if smiling and being easy going and laid back is what is causing it; I am those things, yet rarely have stalkers....in NYC.
>>
>>720848495
never seen this thread before, someone mind getting me up to speed on what this is? also, hi alice. maybe you could tell me what this is?
>>
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>>720850429
>Restraining orders are r-rarely effective, sadly.
I've seen them nicely explained as "a force slightly more compelling than wind".

Still, being able to gather evidence of a restraining order violation is better than nothing at all.
>>
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i think you should have a pic with your pupper for this threads , i think id gone be super cute
>>
>>720850649
S-sounds like paranoia, b-but have you talked to a doctor? Could be any n-number of disorders, f-from simple anxiety t-to, well, paranoid schizophrenia.

>>720850746
I'm Alice. I help people. Any questions?
>>
You need jesus.
>>
Hey alice. Remenber me?
>>
>>720848495
So, earlier this month I tolled you I hate women. And you dashed out, that's a Dick move.

Stop getting attention here because you had a bad childhood.
>>
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>>720850429
Though that might be true, it is a step-up from "Please stop."

Why not afford yourself every advantage you possibly can?

>>720850536
Invert your behavior and call it a day.

I kid. Have you tried talking to your stalker, anon? If you two were in close enough proximity for her to feed you, it sounds to me as if you've partially invited this onto yourself.

It is a really simple first course of action, and you'd be surprised how many troubles could be resolved in this way. Sadly, a lot of people don't seem to take it.
>>
>>720850569
I'm not okay with living with Bipolar Disorder I'm a pathetic excuse for a man.
>>
>>720850753
F-for sure, having an open case file is t-the key thing.

>>720850700
Uhm. Maybe you are just an asshole?

>>720850867
N-nah, I've got Zeus.

He sometimes comes around as a swan, but I can always count on him.

>>720850790
S-sorry, Pupper is very upset right now.
>>
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>>720848495

I'm glad you are feeling better, can't say didn't miss you. stay safe Alice
>>
>>720850826
Well, I don't like doctors. They give me meds which which make me full numb.
>>
>>720850956
W-what medication and therapy are you in?

>>720850914
And it isn't a d-dick move to lie to someone t-trying to help others? I'm not here for your entertainment, nor for attention.

>>720850904
N-not enough text to conclusively identify. Sorry!

>>720850997
*smiles weakly* If it w-were so easy.

>>720851004
What medication did they give you?
Did the medication stop the paranoia?
>>
>>720851169
hey alice ive lost my first oportunity to do my university exam, and im feelling like shit...can i have a kiss?
>>
>>720851169
The ATP guy? huh?
>>
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>>720850963
brb making a blog post about how alice admitted to having sex with swans
>>
>>720850826
I hear voices telling me to kill myself and its the only way to end my misery. i have visions/daydreams i guess showing me killing myself usually by shooting myself in the head (when these happen they are more prevalent than reality). i hear tapping on my walls at night and i hear footsteps behind me when im walking to work. i heard horses neighing when i was at work today. sometimes the voices are incomprehensible whispers, too. are you a real therapist?
>>
>>720848495
Are you actually a Psychologist?
I would talk to one but my family never had money
>>
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>>720850725
*grabs your shirt* please help me Alice. I just want to be left alone.

I'm not even good looking and the women that stalk me are beautiful and successful. I don't even deserve to be with them. I just want to be a MGTOW and play video games.

>>720850919
She followed me home! All the way home! I live in one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in the Bronx and she walked in there without a care in the world. I didn't know she was behind until she called out to me.

At least the cooking was good.
>>
>>720851169
Chlorpromazine and Loxapine most of the time.
>>
>>720848495
If you are a actual Psychologist i need to know if what i experience is normal or should i seek help because idek anymore
>>
>Y-you don't want to know my problem

I'm a very specific kind of engineer in the IT field. I get paid to do some fun things but I work a lot and have been feeling kind of down

I have a large number of projects that I work on and I am tired of it. Ever tried to understand how the internet works and you somehow have access to the internet from anywhere? There's people like me working day and night!!! keeping this shit working.

tldr, recently choose not to work a late night shift, cuz i didn't want to work so late at night for this thing, and now I feel like shit .... they might try to take away my projects because of this, i hope not
>>
>>720848495
Glad I made it home for my favorite show.
>>
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>>720851169

I know it isn't easy but your stubbornness gets you some time to talk to you, thank you Alice.

You should rest sometime tho
>>
>>720851343
alicefucked.blogspot.com

>>720851378
Yes, a neuropsychopharmacologist t-to be precise. W-what can I help y-you with?

>>720851354
S-see above.

What medications are you on? Auditory hallucinations tend to respond favorably to antipsychotics like seroquel....

That sounds absolutely awful though Anonymous, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry you have to deal with such issues.

>>720851470
D-did they help with your symptoms? I understand they made you feel numb, b-but how did they affect your disorder?
>>
>>720851169
Helping others, online? On 4chan, in this particular board. Furthermore all that preparation you do for these threads rat you out. You enjoy the attention. I think you are concealing something. You are a liar. And probably a good one in real life.

You are not helping anyone here and you know it, you just feed on the attention it gives you. That makes you a very self centered person.
>>
>>720851668
>Cansomeonejusttellmeitwillbeok
>>
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>>720851419
It sounds as if you're enjoying yourself there. I wish you well with your non-issue, anon.
>>
y-your a-adams a-apple is v-very m-manly a-alice
>>
Well I just kind of hate life. I think it's incredibly uninteresting and it bothers me a lot that people expect me to do things.
I wish I didn't have the friends and family I do so I could just end it all and get some rest.
They say people with depression should take things one day at a time, but we're still expected to plan ahead. I'm so tired of pretending to try just for others.
I'm not sure why I'm even saying this, it's not gonna change anything. Either way, I appreciate what you're doing for Anon, Alice.
>>
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I'll post this again because I'm still confused
>go out Friday night
>live music/drinks/ etc
>meet super fucking cute girl there
>hit it off well
>dancing together all night
>making out all night
>she's grabbing my dick through my pants
>I'm playing with her through her pants
>she's wet as fuck
>she takes my phone and adds her number and adds her facebook via mine
>heavy making out right before leaving
>"you better fucking text me when you get home anon"
>texted her when I got home
>she replies with a short message basically saying "ok"
>texted her a few times since then
>not a word back
>hasn't accepted the friend request on fb

Pretty bummed out. It's been years since I met a girl I was so into like that.

Why the fuck would she do that?
>>
>>720851556
Y-yes, ask away.

>>720851419
....s-so, let me ask you this: are these actually stalkers, or just people you think you don't deserve to love?

>>720851668
D-do you work on the backbone DNS servers or s-something?

>>720851707
*smiles*

>>720851723
P-plenty of time for that w-when I am dead!
>>
>>720851725
neuropsychopharmacologist not a doctor
>>
>>720851743
What a good way to shout "look at me everyone, I'm new"
>>
>>720851725
They make me feel like everything's blurry and my body very numb. I cannot concentrate on locking doors or watching strangers when my hands and legs are too numb.
>>
What law do I need to break in order to get sentenced to a cardiac arrest?
>>
I sorta need help,I had social anxiety. I felt nervous stare at strangers all the time.
>>
>>720851725
Im not on any medication, as im too poor to go to a doctor. this all started after i found my dad dead in my house when i was 8 (22 now). i used to hear him talk to me and would see him off in the distance sometimes (like in the bushes or peeking out from behind a wall) i could go into detail about his death, if that kind of info would help you figure out what the fuck is wrong with me.
>>
whenis youre next transmission alice!!!!
>>
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>>720851743
do you want a cookie ?
>>
>>720851923
bru hthe alcohol was wearing off and she probably felt like shit.
>>
>>720848495
I don't enjoy sex with my gf of 8 months, Alice. What can I do about this? I cringe thinking about it, but I love her.
>>
>>720851954
>I actually work on a lot of different technologies, and many- many different companies globally
>The things we've done is kind of amazing :)
>>
After he puts his wig back on
>>
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>>720851954
Lets hope that happens in 50+ years
>>
>>720851743
>helping others, online? on 4chan, in this particular board
Yes. For the last six years, in fact.

>All the preparation you do for these threads
People have requested everything I've done, from cooking to tea to streaming

>You enjoy
Assertion; I don't enjoy attention at all

>I think
Luckily your thoughts don't dictate reality

>You are a liar
Assertion

>You are not helping anyone here
Weird, that kinda conflicts with what people have said in this very thread

>and you know it
I know I know nothing

>You just feed on the attention
Assertion

>That makes you a very self centered person
I'm n-not sure how this follows.

>>720851768
*wraps her arms tightly around you and squeezes* It w-will be okay, my l-love <4
>>
>>720851990
>>720852141

White knight
>>
>>720852178
Well, you could start by not fucking 8 months old childs.
>>
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>>720852018
thats pretty easy one
the law of bacon
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52Htt-dFFIg
>>
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>>720851786
I can promise you right now I'm not trolling. To be honest I really just want to be left alone, I don't want friends, or family, or anything. I just don't want people in my life.

She holds the door for me, makes me lunch, etc and I don't even know her well, I feel so uncomfortable and uneasy. She treats everyone like absolute garbage, doesn't smile, doesn't look up to greet people, but when she sees me goes to full stalker mode.

>>720851954
I would say both. I'm not ready to open my heart anyway and they understand that but they won't leave me alone.
>>
>>720851901
It s-sounds like you have anhedonia, s-something I'm very familiar with. Are y-you seeking treatment, Anonymous?

>>720851923
W-was she drunk? She might n-not even remember what happened very well.

I know, it isn't a very satisfactory explanation. But people act different under the influence. I'm sorry she led you on like that Anonymous....
Thread posts: 123
Thread images: 65





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