This is a serious question. How can I permanently develop paranoid

First off, I gotta say, you're a fucking idiot. Fuck back to Tumblr with this mental illness bullshit.

Second off, if you really want it, take an insanely high dose of LSD or shrooms or something like that. Find a fucking glass full of acid and chug it.

Thirdly, I have a friend with schizophrenia, and it is nowhere near as cool as you seem to believe it is. It's not cool and with bells and whistles. It's you being chased down a fucking chorridor believing you're about to be chopped into bits by the chainsaw massacre. Or you writting a list and making plans an entire night of how you're going to kill the people around you.


Get a fucking grip you fat piece of shit.

>>720346242
You should try something called "angels's trumpet". Its much more intensive than LSD.
And super-intense breaks on MDMA? This is hard to believe.

>>720346242
Why would you want those things? I don't think you have given this any thought.
>Be you
>Sitting naked in an empty bath tub
>Hear voices taunting you coming from shower head
>Grab hammer and smash shower head
>Hear voices coming from vents
>Call 911 and report voices
>Cops show up and find sweaty naked man with hammer sitting in smashed up bath tub complaining about voices

Sounds fun, op

>>720346242
start to think of the magnitude of the whole universe

File: 1480390527528.jpg (62KB, 800x800px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 800x800px

>>720346584
Ha! Harsh but true.
>>720346242
Pic related

>>720346584

FYI, I have been super-terrified by psychotic symptoms before: thinking my best friends have pistols and are trying to kill me or harvest my brain, when they aren't even there, and so on.

But I strangely enjoy it, and I believe that I will be able to handle It well. I never hurt anyone on LSD or ecstasy, I just functioned so strangely that people had to leave me in a room and restrain me sometimes. Okay?

ever thought about trying lucid dreaming?i know its not a perma-reality, but there are people who full immerse on a daily basis.

Those voices are the hosts. They are not fond of you visiting so frequently.

Youre a welcomed guest for a certain time, but you havent learne that.

Those hosts will help you but they desire your presence after the expiration of your physical clock.

>>720346976

That would be something fun to explore as well, and surely safer. More info, please. :)

Is it possible that I'm already psycho-bio-socially predisposed to schizophrenia, and that I'm in the prodromal or pre-prodromal phase? I'm twenty years old and I'm in the right demographic.

People find me absolutely nuts when I take ketamine or LSD, while other people appear normal when they take similar doses to me (300 mg of K, 200 mcg of LSD, half a gram of MDMA, etc). People can't get me to make sense half of the time.

>>720347028

Who are the hosts?

File: Gas_meme.png (564KB, 531x669px) Image search: [Google]

564KB, 531x669px

>>720346810
Yes, now imagine that all the time instead of only when you're high
And 10 times worse because you're so stressed out and tired from your constant battle with your own psychosis.

And after you imagine that
Kill yourself

>>720346810
No, you can't handle it. If you can't handle it on drugs, you cannot handle it 24/7.

You're an idiot. A moron. Go meditate or find a purpose in life, this is pahtetic beyond belief

File: Patriotic chicken.jpg (42KB, 480x640px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 480x640px

>>720347123
you're the twenty year old druggie equivalent of "lol so randumb"

>friends have to leave me in a room and restrain me sometimes
>lol aren't i unique and interesting

>>720347205

But I could surely learn to handle it, and do. When I have psychotic breaks, I usually learn to function semi-normally while I'm still peaking, and the effect of the drug has yet to wear off for a while.

I realise that my friend doesn't have a 9 mm pistol and he isn't calling 'them' because I've uncovered the conspiracy, and I can still put on my jacket, even though it's morphed into an alien shapeshifting thing and it takes me a good two minutes. I can say my name and answer simple questions, while keeping on topic.

You're a fucking imbecile and a deluded child. You're not spiritual. You dont have experience. You know bumfuck nothing on the matter and it's gonna fucking kill you painfully and all those who loved you with be pained by this.

I.e schizophrenic

>>720347415
No. Because tripping on drugs and having schizophrenia is two different things.


You can clearly function on a small basis (I say small because you're a fucking idiot) when you're not under the influence, so why would you take what you're already horrible at and become even worse?


Have you seen people in mental hospitals? That's where you're going to end up. You have it 24/7, you cannot escape. And eventually you will grow tired and that's when fighting the voices gets unbearable.

>>720347293

My weekly LSD use doesn't make me interesting. It's just a passion, like any other person's.

I'm otherwise straight edge and no longer drink, smoke, or take cannabis and amphetamines/opiate s/cocaine, so please don't call me a druggie. :)

I'm an acid/K/shroom-head.

>>720346242
take a good ammount of meth and ketamine together or mxce and then drop a small dose of magic mushrooms. do lots of nangs and smoke weed too.
worked for me

>>720347613

I've been committed/sectioned twice. Of course I know that.

>>720347632
>I'm not a druggie, I just like to take drugs regularly

>>720347645

Thank you. Finally a straight answer.

What are your symptoms like?

>>720347740

I would only consider myself a 'druggie' if I still drank and chain-smoked and had a coke/speed problem. I only do soft psychedelics now.

>>720347415
From what I hear of you, you're nowhere near crazy but seem to be really interested into appearing crazy, as if it'd justify something or make you seem more interesting.


For real, grow up. Real mental illness is nowhere near as fun as you imagined it to be and what you felt while on drugs (products developped to bring a pleasant experience) is nothing like having a genuine fried up and mis-wired brain.

And no don't give me any if that "but I'll learn to handle it!" bullshit.

>>720347415
>hay guise I can do drugs that make me feel like I have disorder and it feels awesome!!!!!
>doesn't know what having schizophrenia is like
>I bet I can handle my life as a schizo
Lel

>>720347861
>I'm not a druggie! I only like to ingest drugs that happen to be hallucinogens. Not a druggie
>being this retarded

Kill yourself faggot

>>720346242
Keep taking MDMA lsd won't permanently damage you're brain also synthetic marijuana and a lot of it

>>720347757
I'm not that guy, but if you want to destroy your mind and annihilate your mental health, just take every drug you can get your hands daily for about 5 years. I did that when I was a teenager, by the time I stopped I couldn't function in normal society anymore, talked to myself regularly, couldn't make or maintain relationships and frequently would have episodes where I would become oblivious to my surroundings and hear voices telling me to kill myself. That's what this has in store for you.

>>720347757
paranoia
anxiety
extremely weird sensations occasionally along with extreme anxiety that feels like im starting to dream whilst awake and sort of forget which is real what i am actually seeing or the scenario in my head
when i smoke weed and have anxiety i think i see police everywhere and shit its cash
other than that its mostly just an extremely overwhelming sensation of how unreal my whole experience is of like life its just so unfathomably strange yknow and i feel like i kept the trip like thought process and lack of boundaries for thought from the mushrooms
also for the record best trip of my fucking life like i cried and shit from pleasure

OP is a fucking faggot.

>>720346584
Experience is only as credible as how it's interpreted.
Correlation is not causation.
Ignorance and delusion often go hand in hand.

>>720348073
also just get weird sensations sometimes like my brain is gonna pop or something and feel heavy waves of intoxication almost like being drunk and stoned simultaneously sometimes out of the blue for no reason but it fades rather quickly
depressive thoughts and stuff too and totally uncontrollable thought pattern
i still do stuff though and lke "maintain" yknow like i go out and see people, have friends etc

>>720347993

Thank you.

>>720347961

I live in London around crusties. I frankly don't consider a drug you can only take weekly or fortnightly a 'drug'. That's how often my usage of psychedelics is. That's how often I can afford it (spend £30-50 a week on various shit).

>>720347863

You're right. I don't want to ruin my life.

What about HPPD, then? It's apparently a really benign form of psychosis (what you're seeing isn't real).

I have that, but only for a couple of days after tripping. I also find that when I'm and really want visuals or visions, I can have them sometimes.

>>720348263
also same guy with the meth miushies k combo
i got major hppd and see paisley patterns creeping across all surfaces constantly and see weird patterns and shit in the sky and on the ground
shit is also cash
lots of cool effects i can kinda understand why you would want something like this
it keeps you on your toes kek

>>720348253

It kind of sounds like the state I want to attain: a high-functioning psychosis.

This is another stupid question, but I hope you don't mind. Does it ever have any upsides or euphoric moments?

>>720348397
yes i have moments i like to call reverse anxiety attacks where i get intense feelings of well being and strange sense of profound understandings and just generally really manic thoughts for extended periods of time

>>720348397
>being this retarded
>haven't even destroyed brain with drugs yet

gj op, can't wait to see you in two years

>>720348475
The best. Ever have a female stare into your blown up pupils? You can feel the estrogen in them, and lust. Its wild, it corrects your flaws.

>>720348475

Yeah, you describe the same experiences I have on moderate to high doses of acid and ketamine, except all the time.

Thanks for being the only person in this thread to understand me. If could 'fry' my brain, it would be much cheaper and I could ditch my dealer. Kek.

Also, I feel that I have the disposition to function halfway well in such a state without it scaring me into the looney bin, much like you.

If you want to experience psychotic symptoms then you should take deliriants, not psychedelics. And even better you can head on down to your local drug store to get it, diphenhydramine (Benadryl). Take like 600-800mg and prepare to go temporarily insane, hearing voices, full imaginary conversations with people who aren't there, and best of all, like a true schizo, you'll have no idea you're hallucinating and be completely convinced by your delusions.

Anecdotal reports seem to say that if you repeatedly abuse deliriants most people develop long term psychotic symptoms.

>>720348397
You're a fucking retard. None of this works like you think it does. Mental illness isn't free drugs, you colossal moron. I know lots of people who have destroyed theirs brains with drug use. My mother screaming at me about the government sending spy bees after her while she cowered in my closet didn't exactly look fun or appealing.

>>720347415
Psychedelics don't cause psychotic breaks you retard. You clearly know nothing. LSD is nothing like schizophrenia, if you want psychosis you need deliriants (diphenhydramine, datura, brugmansia, dimenhydrinate, etc.)

>>720348907

I'll consider it.

>>720348976

Alright, I'm sorry. I shouldnt have said 'psychosis' or schizophrenic. All I want are clinically insignificant psychotic symptoms, like this guy: >>720348394

>>720349007

Then why have I havd episodes that would be considered very brief psychotic breaks on them?

Dealer trying to kill me with his 9 mm (in a gun-less UK), alien 'Others' taking their faces off and trying to harvest my brain, unable to or struggle owith have normal conversations because my brain is everywhere, nauseam.

>>720349367
It's still a psychosis you're trying to chase.

You're a god damn moron, OP. Never have I seen such a delusional non-negotiable idiot like you. Have fun with your severe paranoia and forced thoughts for the rest of your life. If you have nothing else to live for then I truly feel sorry for you and I hope you find something better to do with your time.

>>720349367
People who are predisposed to mental illness can have psychotic breaks on large doses. This is about a 1/10000 occurrence. Mentally healthy people do not have psychotic breaks on LSD, even on large doses. They may have extremely profound experiences like ego-death, but this is not the same as a psychotic break. Also, a bad trip is not a psychotic break.

>>720349524
Why are we discouraging him? If he's really this retarded then it's probably best he goes psychotic just so we can get him safely locked away from society and unable to reproduce

>>720349537

What was my experience, then?

>>720349616
If you legitimately believed there was a conspiracy to kill you and didn't realize it was the effects of the drug then yeah you probably had a psychotic break. The rest of the stuff is normal for just tripping hard though

>>720349616
If you really want to get what you're looking for, try grinding some lead down into a very fine powder and snorting up a tiny little bit every few days. Also add some to your food and drinks. It tastes a little sweet, and produces the effects you're looking for.

>>720350019

Yes, even though I was aware of the fact that I had eaten 400 mcg of LSD, I did not even think that the 'conspiracy' was a side effect of the trip, and I was absolutely terrified.

In fact, I thought that the aliens/Illuminati/Conspiracy were trying to kill me because I had uncovered 'the truth', or thought I had (but I didnt know anything!).

>>720350050

Really? Does this work immediately?

I don't want to damage my health, just my mind. What about dosage?

>>720346596
i did over a gram at once one time and hallucinated. I can believe this

>>720350483
100mg of lead per day should do. Make sure you do it after breakfast though, you want to make sure nasal absorption potential is at its highest

>>720350750

Cool. I'll give it a shot.

Would there be physical side effects from lead poisoning/lead exposure, though? Or adverse long-term health effects?

I have to choose between my mind and my body, I guess. It's a choice we all make when we take drugs and alcohol.

>>720350483
It doesn't work immediately, it works slowly over the course of months. I don't know the dosage, because neurotoxic substances are something I avoid, but snorting 1/16th of a teaspoon and adding 1/8th of a teaspoon of lead powder to your water every morning will do it.

>>720346242
Progressives think white countries and white people have room to improve but the rest of the world is a total write-off. How is that not racist?

>>720350896
It mostly affects your brain, lead is neurotoxic. all I'll say is, it will produce the effects you're looking for and won't kill you if you keep your doses small.

>>720350896
Well I'm not going to lie, there might be some physical side effects but hopefully by this point you'll be too psychotic to really notice or care. If you start to notice anything severe than just to be on the safe side cut it back to like 50mg instead of 100

>>720346242
To me weed worked, it alters the physical composition of the brain and your mental powers are intensified, then you can train alone, other people might fear you though

>>720348907
for how long

>>720351171
>>720351182

Well... lead's cheaper than LSD. But I could probably afford to take 200-300 mcg a day, if I get in touch with my dealer's dealer and get a bulk discount.

I could trip balls for £30-40 a week.

>>720347273
i have this

>>720351517
Yeah, but once you have taken enough lead, you never have to buy more.

>>720351406

Yeah, I find that intensifies post-trip visuals (faces on walls and irons, etc) and generally has a positive psychological effect.

I don't smoke much of it, because I when smoke it constantly, I smoke a lot of it (1 oz. = £100, I can rip through that and my paycheck in a week solid), but it can intensify or catalyse breaks from reality sometimes.

>>720351647

The same most likely applies to all psychedelics, with the HPPD phenomenon and reports of permanent 'flashbacks' and stuff.

LSD tolerance probably peaks at 300 percent of naive dosage (or so I've heard), so taking five blotters a day wouldn't cost me more than £10 bought from the source.

My dealer offered to order me a bottle of LSD solution for £300, but I'm not sure what the volume or potency would be. By the time I'm a hardcore acidhead, I would probably ditch tabs and be dropping drops from my bottle constantly.

>>720351754
you should try meditating while high, also listen to psychedelic rock of the sixties, lots of alien/esoteric messages and you can travel time mentally by mentally riding the air wave vibrations, also you might not believe it but the conspiracies are true, nazis partnered with masons and about any secret society and have had contact with aliens and have been re-engineering human genome for evolution, train your brain/mind/psy, join a esoteric secret society, you will later not even have to work, just go to the bank and receive money or mentally control others and get free things but this causes a bit of chaos and someone might lose their job, your call, remember always in the higher planes there is no difference between good and evil

>>720352329

I'd like to believe that, and it conforms to what I do believe high... but dude, that's super-bizarre.

I've always wanted to be a Mason. Where do I find the secret societies in London/New York/any major city?

>>720352142
I used to do acid all the time as a teenager and never got flash backs. Some people get them and some people don't.

>>720352655

I wouldn't really call my experience with flashbacks 'flashbacks', but visual hallucinations and delusions persisting for a day or two.

Also, if I look at something or listen to a piece of music and imagine how the experience would be under LSD, I can mentally re-render it, and that can make me euphoric.

Then again, I'm a 20 y/o idiot who has only recently learned that gulping two grams of pure MD and blacking out for twelve hours whilst mumbling about ghosts is not a smart thing to do. I've yet to experience the long-long-term effects of LSD.

>>720352600
be a mason, the world goverment is masonic and you might eventually be able to contact aliens, the matrix is real, reality is fabricated as an illusion, born/grow/study/work/die, start showing interest in growing out of it and things will change, dont go against the world government, its there for a reason, learn to support it, you will later see emotions are forms of energy to manipulate, that doesnt mean they arent real, you just need to learn control them, here is a list: http://www.masonic-lodge.info/MLI/mli109.htm

>>720353135

Thanks.

>>720353108
Eh, HPPD's not really a big deal. Sometimes when I look at the carpet or a wall it'll very very slightly morph in the way that LSD visuals do, and this has been happening for years even though I only take it sparingly and have yet to take more than 2 hits at a time. It's really only something I notice if I actually zone out on something, and as far as "flashbacks" I'm not sure I really even know what those are. Like does having slight visuals count as flashbacks? I figured flashbacks actually meant you felt like you were full on tripping but that seems weird to just happen spontaneously. I can't imagine suddenly going from my sober mindset to tripping, they are just way too wild and different.

Plus that whole LSD in the spine bullshit is a myth so it's not like there's any chemical mechanism for it, other than just recalling memories

>>720347028

You understand. I've sobbed the following day after a trip being so afraid they were angry at me. Like I cheated or stole something from them. Immediately forgiven, absolute love... but uh... yeah... not supposed to see that shit yet.

" a vast conspiracy to kill me or extract my psychic energy and make me part of the psychotronic mind control network"

These are not paranoid delusions. You only think they are because you are making the mistake of thinking it is YOU specifically that is being targeted. The claims you made are true, however it is an attempt being made against most if not all of us, those who would resist and not conform.

>>720353584

I have the exact same thing ever since an MDMA overdose. But I want more intense stuff.

>>720353713

I've had the same experience. I thought and still think it is the consciousness of the Supreme Being.

But I thought the angry voices were demons/jinns/evil entities.

>>720353923

Wait. What's going on on this stupid planet? They're real? Alien shapeshifters, posing as people in London and New York City, harvesting brains? Wtf.

>>720353713
>>720354093

However, this is why I became straight edge and only use psychedelics (acid, shrooms, ketamine, MD sometimes, etc). God told me to stop abusing alcohol and tobacco, and drugs that can be used chronically (all day, every day). Psychedelics are safe.

File: sddefault.jpg (15KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 640x480px

>>720346242

>>720354093
Seriously man, check out deliriants. Go on erowid.org and read some experience reports of diphenhydramine (Benadryl) to see what I'm talking about. If you really want to see what psychosis is like try it out. You might find afterwards it's not your cup of tea, most people don't like being fucking delusional as hell and unable to tell hallucination from reality, like 99% of people the experience to be a bad one. But hey, maybe you're one of those 1%. You'll never know till you give it a shot.

>>72034681
if you actually do enjoy this feeling, just know that this is for a short time anyway. you return back to regular thought. you wouldnt be able to handle it 24/7

>>720355220

Will do.

>>720355791

But one of the respondents here is able to handle intense HPPD and paranoid psychotic symptoms without clinical intervention. I want that.

>>720350520
ya because it metabolizes to MDA after about 220mg and then you are basically on psychedelic speed, you are fucking retarded. Just OD on morning glory or something you worthless fuck. Its people like you who are ruining this world. You want to destroy yourself but you don't even have the brains or motivation to properly do so. Pathetic.

>>720346584
I'm not even going to bother scrolling through the thread, this is the first post and it's correct. Fuck you OP.

>>720346242
I just came here to say that you're a moron. What you're describing is the mental perception of abnormal brain function.

That is to say, you're experiencing brain damage and the resulting delusions. It is not a good thing. Your body will only take so much and you'll be fucked for good if you're not careful.

Drugs are fine in moderation. What you're talking about is a demented way to commit suicide.

>>720357282
>>720357350

He's wrong, though. The old 'OD on any psychoactive/brainfry' thing just isn't true. If it were, I would be where I wanted by now.

Having a 'miracle' or super-trip just gives you HPPD for a couple of days.

As an addendum:

2 grams of MDMA: fully psychotic for twelve hours, hallucinated people who were not there, mumbled; was completely unintelligible to friends, had to be put in a blanket and restrained; walls moved, saw invisible cats and other creatures for 3-5 days afterwards; sugar, instant coffee, and granulated things would 'float'

'Shitloads' of ketamine over the course of a fews day (not certain of purity): colour distortion, unable to make sense in most conversations (friends just left me alone), was unsure of what was real and was not; reality with a surreal quality; blacked out a few times, and observers thought I was unconscious, but I could still see the room around me (albeit with such a speeded up perception of time that anyone intending to interact with me appeared as a blip for a fraction of a second); walls, furniture, objects in room developed faces and a sinister appearance, some attempting to jump and say hi; robotic motion; if I stood up, I could feel as if I was falling down forever into eternity (which was fun)

I'm asking you guys, because the 'brainfry' thing is a fucking stupid old wives' tale.

>>720357681
oh you can definitely OD on LSA given the vasoconstriction, it would be a fucking horrible death. Seems like what OP wants.

>>720358334

I don't want to die, I just want to be in a permanent trip/have stronger HPPD (because I already 'see things' a little by now).

I'm not a masochist, I just want reality to be funnier.

Also, the brainfry thing IS a lie. After snorting entire bags of K and gulping entire grams of ecstasy on multiple occasions, and taking 200 mcg of acid every fortnight, you'd think I'd be fried by now.

>>720358564
it doesn't work like that and you are fucking retarded, you have some serious shit you need to work out OP. And who said your not fryed? You don't just hit one point of psychotic break, that shit adds up overtime. You probably have just been crazy this whole time.

>>720358273
>2 grams of MDMA
Jesus it's a wonder you didn't die. Yeah, that's called a mixture of psychedelic effects and amphetamine psychosis. Not a good mix

The ketamine sounds just like normal k-hole effects

>I'm asking you guys
Asking us what?

>>720358721

That would be one weird plot twist.

You think it's really possible that my drug use has been a catalyst for the development of schizophrenia, and I'm just a few months to a year or two from having the most intense 'trip' of my life -- this time sober?

Sometimes, I hope so.

>>720358819

I'm asking you how I can be in a constant, intense trip (like the one I get after 200 mcg of acid), but all of the time, without giving my dealer as much money as I give my landlord.

>>720359110
I've already told you, deliriants. A standard dose of diphenhydramine to trip hard is 600-800mg which you can buy down at the drug store for like less than $5 and you'll be tripping for a full 16 hours and feel residual effects for up to a week. Keep redosing like that and you're sure to be in some long-term psychotic hot water after not too long.

>>720359420

Cool. I'll give some Benadryl a shot.

Thank you soooo much. This will be intense.