All right /b/tards I need help my girlfriend has an extreme

>>720314595
I can't cure religion, abusive conditioning, or irrational guilt. My advice is get out of it and let her figure herself out. That or become a decent love her and get her worked up and lustful-- doing so will likely leave you unfulfilled, but she will get more and more comfortable with the concept.

>>720314595
You can't just say "hey lets have sex" she will always say no until you have had sex a few times. You have to ease into it by fondling her dick and move down and suck her really good. Then she can stick her dick in your ass.

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>>720314595

OP, how would you characterize her behavior and beliefs in the context of her religious practice?

Frequency? Intensity? Preoccupation with certain ideas or themes? Inappropriate context or circumstances?

I know you're not in her head exactly, but any information at all would be helpful.

>>720315431
Well from what I gathered she's in between the whole thing. If I was to rate her I would say a 6? The main reason I think she's like this is because she has not a lick of self confidence.

Used to date a girl with major hangups about possible pain from sex, fertility, and religion. We were teenagers, though. Also used to date a guy who was depressed in the same way. My best advice is to get out of there before she justifies suicide with her religious beliefs. You don't want to be around when shit goes down.

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>>720317015
That's the thing mate. I love her too much. I know it's irrational, but what can I say?

>>720317224
Sometimes you've got to let the rational part of your brain act. I rarely act on emotion anymore anyway, though, so it could very well be different for you.

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>>720315431
>Return

What I mean is, how frequent are these comments? How intense are they? Do they correlate with other stressors in her life (she has a bad day and the feeling is more pronounced/frequent), or are they typically uniform?

The suicidal ideation is a key component of what you've described and that's a cause for alarm. Low-self esteem plays a factor in the persistence and intensity of these thoughts, but you seem to pick up on a connection between her expressed feelings and religious themes regarding an afterlife.

I suppose I'm asking whether there's a cyclical feedback of religious beliefs with her anxiety and stressors followed by suicidal ideation to "make the pain go away" OR if there are two independent branches--one based on her feeling of imperfection socially and the other religiously--which feed into her desire for earthly release. Do either of these approaches seem feasible to you OP, based on how well you know her?

Additionally, is she part of a Quiverfull movement, or any other fundamentalist group (you mentioned WBBC by name in the post), or do you mean it generally to be some non-specific Creationist Evangelical group? They have very different methods of instilling doctrines and mechanisms of consequence in their members, which could also be another puzzle piece.

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>>720314595
Give her some pills

>>720315431
>>720316631
>>720317462

Sorry OP, mis-replied in my post.

>>720314595
get her drunk as fuck and break it in

>>720314595
Don't stick your dick in crazy. Trust me. Get the fuck out while you still can. Girls like her never stop being crazy, and it's not worth it. Also, you would run the risk of gething her pregnant. Her being super Christian, I would assume that would lead to marriage. Escape while she can. A relationship with her will only rob you of joy.

>>720317663
Real talk. I'm on 1mg of klonopin and sheit

>>720317462
I would say there more pronounced/ frequent when she has a bad day, and I would say there two different branches with the only crossing of the idea of her thinking the afterlife is better since "you don't have to deal with anything up there". "You don't have to worry about your future or your past". To answer your final question, no she's not actually with the WBBC. I was just saying that to somewhat give an idea of her religion views.

>>720317871
I do what to marry her tho. She's not crazy she's just miss guided. Plus she's not that of a religious nut. She's just centred on the afterlife crap.

>>720318156

Does she have a preoccupation with being sinless by acts such as confession, or is it just a desire for "worldly ease"?

>>720318431
Fuck dude, you need some pills too.

>>720318456
Nope, it's mainly the fact of the afterlife. I think her anxiety is based around her lack of self esteem and how her anxiety affects her life, and she thinks that the afterlife is better then how she's living currently

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>>720318692

>>720318506
I don't deny it mate. I'm a fucking idiot. But I'm an idiot in love...

>>720318780
Preach it mate

>>720318813

Okay, and now for specifics:

How are her interpersonal relationships, to your knowledge? Family and friends? Is she withdrawn, quiet, angry, or what?

School and academics: Does her work seem to be suffering? Any change in extracirculars she was a part of, for example, recently missing or taking no interest in? Church life?

When it comes to her suicidal ideation, is she vague about it, or specific? Has she shared a "plan", for example, including hypothetical scenarios or actual imagery? Has she ever engaged in self-harm?

Does she seem "foggier" than in the past?

Any major life changes (school, housing, money) that you can also see?

>Also, how long has this been going on for?

I know these are in-depth, so don't feel the need to reply quickly about them all at once; accuracy is more important than expediency here.

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>>720319542
Dr. Phil?

>>720319699

Just a knowledgable anon. Nice dubs, by the way.

>>720319542
She has a good relationship with her brother, but with her parents not so much. (Her mother is the true example of a religious nut job) her father and her get along fine but not to the extent of her brother. Her relationship with her friends are good. Her grades have stayed the same since I last checked. She doesn't like going to church but her mother forces her to go every Sunday. When it comes to her suicidal ideation she's very vague. She doesn't have a plan to end her life. She's just saying that the afterlife is better then this life and how she wants to go to it. She hasn't harmed herself. She has been more tired and foggier. It's been going on for three months now and there hasn't been any change that I could tell. Maybe since she's graduating soon but Idk.

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Check em

>>720318431
How about simply revealing to her that there is no afterlife?

>>720314595
eat 'er out and see how she responds after that

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>>720320683
Did that. She didn't want to believe it. She doesn't like how I don't believe in an afterlife but she respects my wishes nevertheless

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>>720320793
Done that many times. She still get way to nervous...

>>720317422
>>720314595
how about just dropping the sex part for now? that would be the logical step if you really love her
but obviously you are a childish faggot and with this level of ignorance i hope you are simply underage

>>720320900
Well you guys are young (I assume). When I got married my wife net into a similar state of mind about a year after the wedding. We went more than 7 months without sex, but then it all went back to normal.

It may just be a phase,

>>720314894

Run, you fool. She is up to her eyeballs in incurable crazy.

>>720321052
I tried to do that mate. But she's so hung up on it. She want to have sex, but she's too afraid to do it, and to answer that last statement, we're both in college. But guess we'd still be young tho?

>>720320416

Interesting.

>Has she gained or lost weight?

>Problems with sleeping (either way under or way over)?

Based on what you've mentioned, it doesn't appear that she's isolating herself from her peers and support networks, which is an obvious sign of major depression. However, given her fogginess, length of time in a "depressive episode", preoccupation with negative consequences related to reproduction and sexual intercourse, and her suicidal ideation (moderate, in my opinion) that leaves the issue more complex.

It almost appears to be an issue of genophobia mixed with mild to moderate depressive episodes.

>What, exactly, did she suggest would "go wrong" if you guys engaged in intercourse?

Given her emotional reaction to that, something's a little strange if you're not placing it within the context of "sex before marriage" (i.e. a preoccupation with damnation). If she is that religiously inclined, then the disinterest in church, which her mother makes her go to, may be another source of her conflicting thoughts. If she isn't, and really is just that preoccupied with sexual intercourse as a negative, then would sexual assault fit based on what you know of her?

>>720321431
>we're both in college
You are surrounded by pussy. Why the fuck are you obsessed with the crazy one?

>>720321210
I guess I'm an incredible dumbass too then lol

The only reason I'm commenting on this is because I had a very similar problem a few years back. We tried to have sex for a year but nothing worked it always hurt her too much should a very low pain tolerance and super anxiety. Eventually one ever was her time to go off to college (she's a year ahead of me), I bought her a vibrator for her to use while she was up there. She was also super religious whenever I started dating her, and it just took her some time to get acclimated with herself and confident with herself. 90% of it is in the mind, so just create a very loving and supportive environment allow her to come into it on her own. I wish you luck Anon.

>>720321804
>confident with herself
And then she fucked Jamal

Are you Odin O?

>>720321548
She hasn't gained any weight I know that, and her sleep is everything but problematic. Her main trouble that would "go wrong" is the fact that if we tried again she would panic and "chicken out". She said her self that she doesn't want to give me all that hope then at the end tear it down. To answer your last question no. She hasn't been sexually assaulted at any moment In her past.

>>720314595
>wanting to stick it in crazy
well, you fail. good luck on your spiral down

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>>720321804
Thanks mate. That actually gave me some real hope

>>720322306

Tear it all down? Because she wouldn't be able to satisfy you due to inexperience? Or does she have a low opinion of her body due to (or as a result of) low self-esteem in general?

Being anxious about intercourse isn't unusual in the slightest. I'm just wondering what the bigger picture is here, given her mother's beliefs and her anxiety. It could be a sort of localized body dysmorphic disorder (say, thighs or genitalia) with anxious tendencies. It could be her fear of you abandoning her after being "disillusioned" with your sexual connection. It doesn't seem to be based on any physical trauma as you've specified, but it still could be an emotional one.

What's bothering me is the suicidal ideation presented. That's a highly atypical response (however euphemistically she has phrased it) which, would seem to me to elevate her fear of sex to something unbearable and disproportionately awful, rather than a practical concern or belief. This is a hallmark of a bonafide phobia.

What are your thoughts, OP?

>>720314595

I wish you luck man, but i have similiar problem right now, i mean we oftem have sex and all but her state of mind its just, well lets say not good at all
And i'll tell you just this, wait for like 3months or so and if it wont ve better just break up with her and let her go, i made the mistake and i stayed, now im so deep that im getting depressed as fuck and idk what to do anymore i just live and thats it

>>720323396
By tear it down I mean let me get my hopes up to only get my hopes destroyed when she chickens out. You're right about her having self body issues since her mother is quite skinny. She never had a very good role model from what I know so that could explain a bit. But as you said it could very well be a phobia.But if it a phobia how would one get past one at all? (Since you seem to know your stuff)

>>720314595
Funny you bring this up...
Currently dating a fat girl, we've been together for about five years.
Creativity is essential to maintaining a well groomed obese girlfriend. Every day I have to think of exciting and interesting ways to interest her in showering. At least four or five days a week I have to shower with her, and the only reason she even gets in the shower is because she can lean against me while I finger her. After she gets off, she lets me shampoo her hair, and soap her up.
The worst part though, the part that I cannot even remotely enjoy, is the wiping. She has trouble really reaching back there after a particularly wet bowel movement, so I have to help her wipe. It's not TERRIBLE, but it is unpleasant.
I don't really enjoy it, but it's better than the alternative of having this smelly fat chick masturbating on your sofa and then touching your controllers with those hands. Before I knew to bathe with her and wipe her, I actually found FECES between the buttons and under the analog stick of my PS4 controller.

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>>720324352
Kek

>>720323608
>idk what to do anymore
Go gay

>>720324318

Assuming she isn't asexual or homosexual for a moment (which can present similar responses), here's a rough breakdown of what you may consider doing:

If you both attend college (the same university?), consider looking for a therapist who deals with body dysmorphia disorder and try to book a triage appointment. While triages do not guarantee the placement of a client with a particular therapist, if your girlfriend is honest about her problems and scores worrying on a Global Assessment of Functioning Questionnaire (which you cannot fill out for her), it is likely that they will make an appointment with a specialist in BDD.

Other factors in her lifestyle would then be considered, which you may not be privy to, including the appearance of eating disorders, which can manifest if the individual's preoccupation is with the attractiveness of a sexualized body part.

If you worry about how you'll pay for all of this (I'll speak for the US in general), mental health services are usually covered by virtue of your placement as a student with that institution. In addition, certain guidelines (barring exceptional cases such as immediate self-harm, etc.) will prevent her mother from knowing that she is seeking treatment. Other statutes, such as FERPA, guarantee a right to privacy already not covered.

If you still have concerns, check with the pharmacy associated with her college/university. These often double as places to pay for services rendered. You may pay with cash if it suits you, but a good idea would be for her to talk with her therapist and ask for a financial waiver, which does not need to be signed and leaves no paper trail. In the event she does not receive one, she still would be paying far less than for private therapy and would likely have a maximum number of free visits--a useful tool to get her bearings correctly.

Any other questions, OP? Anything you wanna spitball?

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>>720325356
No I think I got everything I need. Thank you so much mate. I owe you big time. Hope you have a great and prosperous life. Have a goodnight and thank you!

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>>720325856

No problem, OP. Here's a wallpaper for your troubles.

>>720314595
stop dating a piece of shit
she's a weak ass excuse for a human being, a defect

then again, since you're dating her, you probably are too

please just do us all a favor and do heroin
you'll be happy for once in your miserable existence, and after you're dead there will be more food and resources for actual productive beings

>>720314595
Indica

>>720314595
One day more

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>>720314595
the best cure for anxiety: meditation.
over thinking situations causes anxiety, tell her to be at peace with what will b. it's all her perception.