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Ok, /b/tards, its that time of day again. What's your secret?

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 111
Thread images: 19

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Ok, /b/tards, its that time of day again. What's your secret?
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>>720141338
I had no choice, I had to do it. I just see the opportunity. When I'm gone, everyone's gonna remember my name...
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I watch pigeons about an hour each morning.
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>>720141338
I watch gay porn but act like such a homophobe
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>>720141907
Spam detected.
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I just met a guy off grinder , ended up being a 300 pound + guy... got catfished and still blew him
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I keep my gf around just to prove to my bitter ex that I'm better at maintaining relationships than she is.
Over two years she has had three daring trainwrecks and gained 40lbs.
I know she keeps tabs on me.. and her personality requires her to feel like shit when her "enemies" succeed.
Also have a new car and been promoted twice.
Pettiness actually works for me.
My gf is decent.. but it's just a routine.
I don't feel like that over anyone anymore.
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I had sex in the missionary position with the lights off for the sole purpose of procreation
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>>720142296
did it taste like french fries?
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>>720141338
I was molested twice. Once when I was 5 by my cousin ( same age male ). He had me and my sister 3yo. In the furthest room of the house I stayed at back then with my folks. Anywho it was just us 3 behind a really tall fucking bed. All i recall is my sister been clothed then it been completely gone. I don't really know what else happend. It felt cloudy, my memory from that event. Then my parent's and aunt's came in and my and my boy cousin got fucking smacked lol.
FF to age 10ish. Molested by a neighbour friend. Literally next door from me. One day we had a sleep over he came over and we would play with my toys. Sleep time came. We both shared my bed. What started as a tickle ended in dick grabbing. Making "rocket ship landing noises" as he "prepares" to land on my shit. I was young had no idea it was wrong. So weird that, that happend to me. Never felt off from it. Never told anyone. Was married for 5 years. Divorced now. Never told her. I have a son now. Everytime I see him play with kids his age ( 4 ) i keep an extra eye for does older then him. When not in my VIEW. Seriously has fucked me up now and has me paranoid. As i don't want my boy to have the same experience I went threw. I took it like a champ. Least I think so. Never went loony. But i always think if it ever happend to my boy... Would he take it lightly?
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>>720142573
bullshit. pics or it didn't happen you lying sack of shit.
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>>720142296
LOL sorry anon. That just sounds like something i would do. Id still hit a fat woman's pudding.
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>>720142679
Protect your son, m8. Would you want him to 'take it like a champ' or would you want him to tell you?

Make sure he knows what's okay and what isn't, and where people can touch him and how to get away when things are uncomfortable for him.
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My youngest sister had a son just after graduating HS. It cost her a college scholarship and a pretty bright future. We all assume it was her HS boyfriend's baby but it might be mine. It might even be one of our other brothers'.
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>>720142409
That's pretty savage m8. Honestly what ever works for you bro.
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>>720141338
I really, really want this one babe to like me and dont give a passing glance to other women
it's not even love, I know that, but it feels like it
this is what happens before somebody gets raped, right?
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I'd love to murder about 6 people but I fear going insane from the paranoia of being caught afterwards.
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I'm still in love with my ex girlfriend from 8 years ago. Currently been in a relationship for 4 years. I love my current girlfriend but she's under developed in a sense that she's scared to move in with me (away from her parents) even though she has a good job and graduated from college.

My ex is a failure. Hottest and one of the smartest girls I've ever met. We used to have deep conversations and have a ton in common. Current gf loves Jesus which is fine, but I've been an atheist since grade school. Ex added me on Facebook. She has two kids now. She's still hot as fuck and divorced. Her man cheated on her. I spoke with her and she basically said she couldn't talk to me if my girlfriend wouldn't be okay with it, that's not who she is. I can respect that and it's fair especially when you just got cheated on.

Anyway. I miss her. Time to move on. But I will always love her. I just can't be with her cause I know she's not the same. She's broken and has two kids. Life would eventually be worse with her.
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>>720142993
I would love if he told me. My parents knew about the 1st one. Not the 2nd one. Never told them. I seemed fine. Felt I had no reason to tell. I hope nothing happends to my boy. If so i hope he has does tell me.
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My vision of women might be totally smashed thanks to a highschool sweetheart of mine.

She used to be really innocent and sweet but then she fucked a nigger because she thought he had a big dick and lost her virginity to some hoodrat that threw her out the house right after

She later went on to fucking more niggers and spics probably some white guys too, she led me on for 2 years and when i found out i lost all respect for my hero whom helped me try harder when i was still in highschool.

She's now studying french and failing at everything.

Since then i haven't felt love for anybody else ever since. I'm just not interested anymore, yet i feel lonely and hook ups aren't helping.
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>>720143254

Good call, muh nigga...
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>>720143254
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I don't know if I'm over thinking it, but maybe she is just very self conscious about her loose skin following major weight loss? She seems to have some, and did loose ~120 lbs. (Was probably a good 250-270 and is now probably 140-150?)

mean, that might be preventing her from actually setting up a date, in case stuff gets a bit intimate, and her shirt comes off exposing it? and She's not sure if I'll be accepting of it?
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>>720143438
My HS girlfriend was a sweet and innocent type. Enjoyed sex but rarely initiated it, always felt ashamed after. Imagine my surprise when I cracked her blog in college, read her secret locked posts, and read that she frequently had wet dreams about being gangraped by Mexicans. The most innocent-seeming ones are the biggest freaks.
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>>720143696
I mean, it looks like she has some? Maybe not the worst, but definitely can sorta make out the lines of it
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>>720143254
It would bro. You have a great life. Could be guilt why you're feeling this way? Could be your inner man trying to help her out. Oddly i get that way with some of my ex's. Usually the one who are really fuckeded. Have one that's the same . 2 kids. Baby daddy issue's. I feel somewhat bad and sometimes want to be there more for them. Eh guess where just been human's.
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I don't have secrets, that's my secret.
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i have a really bad case of jock itch and have no idea how to cure it + too scared/embarrassed to go to a doctor
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>>720143715
You're right about the freak part.
She was retarded, did the wierdest things, i thought it was just her being a little childish.

I tried hard to be friends with her, but she kept trying to seduce me, not because she wanted me, but because she knew i was furiously in love and she thought the only way to keep me was by being cute and slightly dirty by rubbing her tits on me or rubbing her hands on my muscles.

To this day, she's still talking to me, we haven't seen eachother, and i dodge all attempts she makes trying to see me.

It's really sad, she thinks about me all the time and has bad weekends without me since then but i can't be with her, she's too broken to even be friends with her.

She's lost all her closest friends for being the way she is, she still thinks she can salvage me and it's painful see'ing her struggle with talking to me, she just runs away sometimes during conversations because she doesn't want them to end, and responds to me at times i can't answer immediately.
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>>720141338
When I was 11 I drowned my little cousin, he was 6, we were catching crabs at the beach (my mother made me take him because he was such an annoying little shit) we went around the headland to look for rockpools.
I hated him and held his head under the water and said he ran off and I couldn't find him.
His father found him when he went to look, everyone was really worried I would be traumatized, they bent over backwards to make me feel it wasn't my fault, he was, after all, a little shit who was always up to no good.
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i've slept with 8 women and i don't really enjoy sex. bores the fuck out of me half when i could just play xbox or work on my beatboxing. am i asexual? it's been almost 4 years since i've had any action and i really don't care.
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>>720144111
LOL bro. I'm on the same boat. I had big SPOTS on my right and left inner thighs. Go to a doc and he or she will give you cream for that muh nigga. Don't worry too much about. Least you don't have it worst unlike other's out there. Cream helps just have to be consistent.
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>>720144681
sweeeet

so im assuming he died?

>im stoned
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>>720143027
>explain
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Im an intern at a subpar company that is hired by my university to create an expirimental turbine.
Its a small company and could probably be saved with guidance and a bit of tough love. But the owner has been a dick too me too many times, is actually an overworked stressout narcist and his company has screwed over my university too many times and quite frankly i just dont like the bunch. In a month the internship will end and from that moment, im gonna make life a living hell for them. I have proof they are breaking serious health laws, that they are using the universities budget for their own company and multiple recordings where they treat me and another intern like absolute shit. The health risks alone will absolutely destroy the company. But i wanna see the fuxker squeel. First im gonna make sure the university pulls out of their legal contract (the university is about 50% of their budget right now) which will push them to the brink of bankrupcy. Then, when they manage to barely survive (and god i hope they do) i will present the evidence of the health hazards to the authorities to absolutely crush that assholes mental state and his company at the same time. Any suggrstions to improve my plan?
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>>720145016
Yes, but I didn't go to the funeral because they thought it would upset me.
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>>720145301
an eye for an eye and the whole world is blind /b/ro
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wincest m8
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>>720145400
thats hardcore dude
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>>720141338
I pee in sinks
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>>720144682

Same here.

I freak out when I meet women, even if nothing happen after, but I force myself on going to them with the hope to meet someone who's not liking every day sex.
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>>720145400
do you regret it or anything?
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>>720141338
I think Trump will be an ok or better than average president.
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I really dislike most people.
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I'd rather be friends with my gf, but I know that my friend has a crush on her and just because I'm a dick I stay in a relationship with her.
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I enjoy lying to randoms and the people I care about because of the risks of everyone finding out is invigorating, especially when it is a really complex lie that ruins lives. Life is a game to me.
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>>720141338
EVERYBODY BUT JAPAN PEOPLE ARE BAD!
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Ive never not had dubs
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I fucked your mom
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>>720145973
now you did
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i keep a severed human hand in a jar..i stole it from a bad car wreck that i was at
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>>720146095
pics or didn't happen
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>>720146095
hand and timestamp or gtfo
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>>720144682
Could be. It's not uncommon to like things more than sex.

I like sleep more than sex, to be quite honest. Sex can wait. I need to sleep.
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>>720141338
i think i hate niggers.
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i've had gay sex with my cousin
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I unironically like to watch Boku No Pico. It really turns me on.
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>>720146195
>>720146197
not risking feds
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>>720146515
rip.. is it pickled?
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>>720145430
Except for the last guy. How is he going to lose his eye? Everyone else is blind, so he can avoid them, and it's not like he's going to take his own eye out.
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>>720147496
He's terminal with cancer. Only got a cupla days left (sad)
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I had sex with my ex even though I knew she didn't want to. I feel like a rapist, and she won't even talk to me.
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im pretty sure my girlfriend is cheating on me and i cant prove it but it drives me crazy
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>>720148220
What makes you think so?
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i had a chance and probably still do if i tried with 10/10 cutie. she's beautiful and my style. fuck. but i have a grilfriend of 6 years who i live with and i still think about the other one evryday. she made my heart feel again /b/ hadn't felt that way in a very long time. worst part is i think she liked me too, added me on facebook, liked my shit often until she saw i wasnt responding to her. truth is i liked when she would try to get my attention but I just couldnt make the move. partly because i love my girlfriend partly because it would be hard to let go seeing as she's doing nothing wrong.. had this been two years ago I wouuldve taken crush in a heartbeat when my relationship was in turmoil. Anyway, I know crush still lurks on me probably thinks of me although not as oftne as i do of her. she's 21 pretty, single, and has guys chasing her everyday but i think she felt the same for me, i know she's not a slut although anyone would think so. i still think that one day she will message me or give me a clear hhint. she was always good at doing subliminal hints but was never up front. then again she's shy. whatever i know i should of hit her up. just thinking out loud here, doubt anyone read this. if you did you must have been there before.
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>>720145430
Very true, but i cannot let them ruin any more internships for their profit. And its a bonus to destroy this guy.
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>>720148350
she says she does nothing all day and always complains about never going out. sometimes i think shes just lying because she goes apeshit when i forget to tell her something or she thinks im lying to her about anything
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>>720145478
Why would you do that, fucking savage.
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>>720149175
he's probably french. i hear it's pretty common over there.
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I'm actually 16 but I still browse this site lol
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>>720141338
I almost drove one of my ex's to suicide. I usually don't feel much aside from anger or frustration and I usually bottle that up like the ned flanders I am, but when she left me by saying "I'm done" in a text when we were having an argument (I'm sorry but what retard says that through text? I assumed the stupid bitch was done with the convo) and she had already been treating me like shit and making us being together be some romeo and Juliet secretive bullshit, so I snapped on her and turned every insecurity she had against her and told her I hope she gets hit by a fucking car. I also told everybody she was bi and then cut off all contact. Felt bad when she said she had never been hurt more by anybody in her life when I first read the text, but then remembered that she could have said that in person and was still too much of a pussy to bring up anything about us in public. All in all, especially in hindsight, it felt good.
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>>720149511
forgot to mention she got with another guy the ne x t D A Y
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>>720141338
I dig through the trashes at work for food, I work security and do my walk through at night so it's easy not to get caught.
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>>720148364
I'm gonna help you out, having been in this situation before.

Just don't think about what she thinks about you. Don't even bring the question into consideration. It's a road of misery you don't want to walk down.

Either you choose to be with your GF, or you choose to not be with her and pursue this other chick. Those are your decisions. Don't mill about in namby-pamby no man's land like a fucking beta, because you're just gonna keep asking yourself questions you don't know the answer to.
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Ok ok kina related but only because it is a secret but I need help please

Me and my brother share a body but my brother get to like have control because he is alfa next to me and is stronger mentally

He sometimes lets me take over when according to him I get " specially bitchy " or he is sorta sleepy mentally

He let me talk over for our job and like when I am aloud to lead he is still there I can still talk with him and ask for the right response or help or whatever like he is still supervising me and like all the sound in our head just dropped out and I haven't been able to get to him in three days now and I'm freeking out because I have never been able to be in control this long I'm allways a player 2 and people are all ready mentioned we are ackting weird and I'm freaked out I'm not sure if he is ok I'm so scared and I don't know who I can turn to

I am not one of those multiple personality nutters I am real I have to be

I am scared
Is it possible for like him to be dead
It can't be right???
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>>720145461
>>720145614
I regret shitting in my sink because you guys told me i could smash it :(
>>
I'm marrying my fiancee whom I hate just so I don't have to be away from my kids
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>>720142680
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>>720149995
get out of here, Shyamalan
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>>720150497
That's fucked. But I get it. My stepdad almost never gets to see his kids after the divorce.
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>>720150504
I don't get that reference but our name is kira but when talking back and forth with kira he calls me David like my fathers brother so i am David I guess???
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>>720141423
BIG SMOKE!!!! *cough* *wheeze*
>>
I haven't been on /b/ regularly for around 7 or 8 years now but for the past 6 months I've been lurking "pics you shouldn't share" and similar threads hoping to see pictures of that fucking whore of an ex-gf to either a) call her a whore or b) ruin her new relationship because the new guy posts her pics. I haven't been lucky so far.
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>>720150598
Exactly. Hate the wife love the kids. I'll divorce her once the kids.are 18
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>>720141338
I would like to try cialis for one night. I just don't want anyone, including gf, to know. Where am I supposed to get it.

>inb4 doctor. No way.
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Ever since I first saw Monsters Inc. in theaters, I've always kind of had a thing for Roz. She and Mike had this weird sexual tension where Mike was like the sub and Roz was a total dom (that's also when I realized I had a fetish for dominant women.)

Anyways Roz was what I guess you would call a waifu. I would imagine myself starting a family with Roz and how we would work together at Monsters Inc. and then come home to our beautiful children.

I think I was around 13 when I first hit puberty, and all the 'urges' that came with it. I was watching Monsters Inc. alone at home one night when the scene came on with Roz lecturing Mike about his paperwork. I felt a strange urge and I started touching my penis. I had been jacking off for a little while by this time but didn't finish. I decided to keep going and see what happened. I grabbed the remote and hit pause, then went to work.

I couldn't stop fantasizing about being the new guy at Monsters Inc. and messing up everything. Of course, because I was trying so hard not to mess up, I forgot to file my paperwork (dammit). As I walked around the corner, a frail but strong arm pulled me into the mail room. "Dammit anon" she said in her sexy, gravely voice, "How many times have I told you to file your paperwork?" So she angrily fucks me with her monster snail pussy, her green juices flowing over my thighs.

I blew my load in like 15 seconds I think, and just kept watching the movie after that.

I'm married with a baby on the way and nobody knows my dark past.
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>>720145214
Incest is wincest
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>>720148570
Two things:
1) There are vapid people (women and men) who just don't have any hobbies and spend all day watching TV / videos or playing video games. So they don't have anything to talk about, so they'll say they didn't do anything. Their lack of drive means they complain about never going out, but never actually do anything about it, relying upon others to take the initiative.
2) She might be cheating, and projecting her guilt onto you.
In any case it doesn't sound like you're too happy. If you spend more time arguing or being upset at each other, or if you honestly suspect her, then end it. You won't want to, and think it isn't too bad, and she might change, and you don't want to have to deal with the pain of breaking up... Chances are she'll get super jealous at some point and "downgrade" boyfriends because subconsciously she feels unworthy, or she might cheat and feel guilty, or she might overestimate her worth and dump you for someone "better" but in any case, if your relationship is fucked, GET OUT instead of dragging it out.
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I think we're seeing very obvious signs of coming civil unrest and fighting in the United States and I'm scared for my country.
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>>720151588
I kinda think the baby boomers are going to start the revolution they've been muttering about for the last 30 years. Then they'll kick over/get arrested and leave a bunch of young morons with more ideology than brains to turn our country into a car-bombed moonscape.

Oh, and at least a portion of the current government will be complicit with this.
>>
>>720151588
>>720151828
Protip: Jack shit is going to happen, stop believing the world is going to end just because CNN says so.
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>>720151944
ok
>>
>>
>>720151828
I don't know how it would start, I'm just seeing the signs of massive rising tension.

>>720151944
I barely get any news from CNN. I'm more worried about everyday people, how worked up they're getting, and how they're unwilling to see eye to eye.
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>>720150885
I really want you to think about the example of a relationship you're setting up for those kids. You might think you can keep a nice house together and provide for them and treat everyone as you should. What you might not be considering is that kids soak up EVERYTHING about their home environment. It's the one place where they learn the most about life. The relationship their parents have to each other is what will form the basis for every relationship they will ever have. If you hate their mom, despite how you may handle yourself, you risk dooming them to a father's nightmare: son's who don't respect others, and daughters who always settle for not being respected.
Children need an example of a positive, loving, supportive partnership in their parents. It's the only thing they'll ever know, and almost none of it is conscious.
I'm convinced people who hate each other can never properly raise a human being. You are essentially perpetuating your own circumstance to the next generation. Do what's right for your kids, and let their parents be happy, productive and loved, even if not together.

Sidebar: think of the struggles and hardships that parents go through even when they DO love each other. What makes you think you'll be able to do it well when you admittedly hate your spouse? Humanity forbid you resent the children for the seemingly endless years of suffering their mom you've been through.
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>>720152440
>I'm more worried about everyday people, how worked up they're getting, and how they're unwilling to see eye to eye.

Pretty much this. It's less about what I see on the news, and more about what I see with my eyes.
>>
Literally a third of my porn folder consists of loli and clop, yet I masturbate to neither.
>>
I have no life and hate anime (kill me)
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>>720153298
That just sounds exhausting.
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>>720153619
a good porn collection is 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration, and 1% masturbation
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>>720153009
Truly scary man. I wish people would calm down.
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>>720141423
E D G Y
D
G
Y
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I'm pretty sure I have autism, being serious. Feelsbadman.
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>>720150497
Don't do it, anon. My mother married the father of her youngest two daughters and for 11 years they had a loveless marriage "for the kids' sake." I honestly believe those year of marriage did far more damage to the kids (both of which have some concerning issues) than the inevitable divorce.
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I fucked a friend's GF for a few months and one of their child might be mine.
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I'm getting tired of everything
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>>720142679
My older brother molested me as a kid. I'm not sure if that's what fucked me up but I'm sure it didn't help. Protect your kid, you seem like a good dude.
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I only hang out with a certain 2 people just so I can use them to smoke weed.
>>
>>720143178
Its called oneitis. Don't put her on a pedestal.
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>>720154075
You're a real piece of shit
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>>720141338
i dont have lice, jaden doesnt have lice, no one in your family has lice and nobody in my family has lice. you never leave the house because you dont have a job. i know you fucking cheated on me with some dirty ass motherfucker. i am only biding my time till i embarrass you in front of your mother and then i am fucking out. also i want to fuck the shit out of your sister.
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