W-welcome to Cooking with Alice3D!
Are y-you ready for a delicious meal?
Have a bump back~
G-glad you asked. Let's g-get into it as quickly as possible, s-shall we?
T-today we w-will be making a pasta dish, quick, easy, k-keeps you going, center piece of many meals <4
Good evening, Alice! Happy to see you here tonight. I'll be lurking quietly as usual! How was your day today?
I'm ready for some vodka and vidya, but first this thread.
I'd much rather get a taste of your Futtaccine, Alice
L-look, first I h-have to show you the ingredient list! S-see? Without t-this, you are screwed!
Monitoring the thread.
Would be so kind as to post your stream? I have it on good authority that there is to be one shortly after this thread?
*pats gently* H-hello dear <4
Hello l-love, how are you?
You'll j-just have to wait and see!
N-not great tonight.
Happy t-to be of service <4
What's with the gloves? Tired of people posting "I can tell by the hands" over and over? We can still tell.
T-there will be one tomorrow; I am much too tired tonight.
Twitch: CeltyPlays (will stream tomorrow)
Email: [email protected]
Steam: Aneki Margatroid
Look, t-there is an order to these things Anonymous!
F-first we select tea.
*blinks* I've d-done this for literally years.
Why would I w-want attention? I just w-want to teach Anonymous some things t-to cook.
It's 10PM; t-this is the time I r-run cooking theads.
They take longer to edit, so they are later.
I've j-just had some dental work done s-so I'm quite uncomfortable dears. N-nothing too serious.
It'll s-stay in the archive f-for a while.
This is t-the diagram.
N-now my dears, s-shall we drink the tea? I'll p-pour you a cup <4
It is indeed, I j-just got it in <4
Sorry, w-we've got to move on <4 I'll s-see if I can get one after t-the thread.
For now, I've written you all up s-some instructions to print out, h-hopefully that will help <4
Oh s-silly Anonymous, I'm not cute. I'm j-just Alice <4
No Alice brewing tea leaves is much better! >.>
And I lost the Uzume folder so I'll be Erina for today.
...Anonymous, I'm l-literally posting still. And I'm n-not a trap.
...m-moving on, we n-need to make the cream f-for this pasta.
*pours myself another cup* Slow start to the thread tonight. I'm sure it will pick up soon~
I know your paid listener told you to keep doing these threads because it's a small bastion of pleasure in an otherwise horrific existence, but come on man you know this shit's degenerate
*blinks* W-who? What?
I t-try my best.
S-sorry, not today.
I wana pour some cream all over your boypussy
S-sadly, I wasn't actually able to complete this recipe, d-due to dental work making it impossible to eat!
S-so I went with something a little easier to swallow whole.
Alice why are you wearing those OJ Simpsons?
I'd like to butter your noodle and give you somthing easier to swallow whole
P-please. I'm half Korean, we g-get only the finest ingredients f-from Amazon Prime Now.
It's n-not unhealthy either; heavy cream and cheese isn't better t-than butter.
I'm awful posting here but i'll try my best, how do you see yourself in 5 and 10 years Alice?
*nervous laugh* T-that's a silly question Anonymous.
That door... do you really live on the East side?
All the recipes she cooks are autist tier junkfood, it's a paragon of western cuisine or lack thereof
Makes sense though, this is food that can be cooked while indulging in self-obsessed dysfunctional sexual fantasies and sharing them on the internet. Perfect for westerners.
F-first, we n-need to make noodles. Noodles are p-pretty easy and a g-good way to get started. Lots of s-starch and carbs, n-not healthy b-but a firm foundation.
*blinks* G-grilled chicken is junk food? I'll inform m-my fitness trainer...
I'd like to give you a firm foundation to sit on, by which I mean my cock.
That fire! What the heck is wrong with you, Alice!
Of c-course, you also n-need to get those noodles wet, s-so be sure to stir them all thoroughly.
I missed that one, what was the grilled chicken with? Mashed taters? Only way I could see grilled chicken as healthy is if it's pared with vegetables, and not the kind you microwave from a can.
>i cant eat it because of dental work
>i cant eat it because its moldy
>i cant even show you a picture of it
you could leave a block of parmesan on the floor in your kitchen for a month and it would still be safe it eat
B-because I will b-be here until the day I'm buried, d-dear.
Corn or m-mixed vegetables...b-but also, what? Grilled chicken (especially when low temperature grilled without sugar based sauces on it) is a g-great source of many nutrients.
I d-do my best.
I like this question. What I would like to know is when will OP commit suicide or hang up their apron. My guess would be when she can no longer can feel love.
T-that in no way helps the pasta not s-stick together.
You are w-wasting your time if y-you want mine dear.
Obviously its a trap
still its quite entertaining
I w-won't commit suicide dear.
T-time to take the noodles out! Don't l-let them drown!
B-behave, and be sure t-to mix in butter w-with the pasta.
I've...I p-posted every day last week, did streams, and n-now Nano is peeing in my kitchen.
there is nothing unhealthy about canned or frozen vegetables. in many cases they have actually been proven to contain more vitamins than the "fresh" produce because they were stored at peak of freshness (more vitamins) instead of sitting in the back of a truck for a week
grilled chicken is about the healthiest source of protein you could have
dont know why i am seriously posting in this thread right now...
K-keep going, and add salt f-for taste.
I'm an 88 p-pound girl, sorry.
What if 4chan disappears before you die?
T-then I'll buy t-the domain and raise it from the d-dead.
W-well Anonymous? How d-does it taste?
>B-behave, and be sure t-to mix in butter w-with the pasta.
nah, I am all hot and bothered. I got something better than butter for you to mix in.
Call me baby [email protected]
It tastes amazing, thank you for the dinner!
Frozen vegetables are the same as fresh since they were flash frozen upon being picked, canned is different. You still have to boil them to warmth which is beyond most people.
And one piece of chicken as a meal is what poor working class people eat, that's why the stereotype of black people loving fried chicken is based on cultural history. If you're hungry a "piece of chicken" is an American colloquialism for a minor or insignificant meal.
Oh, and healthiest source of protein? Goat milk and legumes.
*smiles warmly* H-happy to be of service, Anonymous. I'm s-sorry it wasn't exactly w-what I planned.
The cosplayer is Alice s-silly.
I am, s-sorry to disappoint.
Oh wait, you said you prefered me not to be male. Usually it's the other ways these days for some reason.
S-she peed in m-my kitchen.
I'm disappointed. Not in you Alice, but in myself for not teaching you better. Next time, know you can cut the mold off the cheese, or scoop it out. It won't harm you or the meal. Parmesan, good, real parmesan, should be able to stay for decades if kept cool and dry. There are stories of people burying parmesan cheeses in wartime and coming back to their homes years later to retrieve them.
who the fuck do you think actually believes your a girl. your a faggot.
-sincerely a non-degenerate
I w-was short on time, given I w-woke up very late today d-due to opiates.
>Frozen vegetables are the same as fresh
Wrong. Frozen veggies hold less proteins since the crystallization of the water destroys a great amount of said proteins. They're still way better than canned, tho, and have a lower amount of added sodium.
T-thank you for coming t-to my thread tonight <4
as I s-said earlier, I m-may be reached at the following places
Twitch: CeltyPlays (will stream tomorrow)
Email: [email protected]
Steam: Aneki Margatroid
Dear god. What on god's green earth is going on here.
Thank you for the lovely meal, Alice. I always appreciate you teaching these degenerates how to cook <3
I h-had three teeth removed yesterday, and I h-had to walk around Manhattan f-for about five hours to find a pharmacy to fill my prescription s-so I could sleep.
But sure, that's me. Nevermind I work five days a week and do these threads consistently after my work day. Clearly, I don't leave the house enough.
P-please. I've never burned water.
P-probably 5PM EST
I usually buy locally b-but today I w-was in a bit of a coma for most of t-the day.
M-my apologies, Anonymous.
Alice is a woman.
I mean, as far as attention seeking goes, at least you've got a gimmick. And you're contributing. A+
I d-dress like a woman because I am one.
P-please, check me on p-patreon if you w-want something like that. "alicemargatroid"
I'm a w-woman, and c-clearly you are into traps if y-you feel the need to question y-your choices so often.
Thank you for the wonderful thread. Until next time.
It is m-my apron.
L-let me accept you.
>I'm a w-woman, and c-clearly you are into traps if y-you feel the need to question y-your choices so often.
If I get off I dont care, I wana blow my load all over your frilly little dress
Nano is t-the one in heat, she w-won't let her giraffe alone!
FOR GOD'S SAKE WOMAN, THE FRIDGE, PLEASE!
I know you're a liar because you always have a quick answer for everything. You try to diffuse the lies by acting cute or playing the burn victim card. I've met many people like you, and I used to be fooled every time because I'm so naive, but now I've learned the signs.
How to spot a liar? Their answers only bring up more questions.
She got moldy cheese because it was delivered, it was delivered because she was on painkillers, she was on painkllers because her teeth were fucked up, why were her teeth fucked up? I guess it's just the mystery of the universe.
Grow up, you live an isolated disgusting life and the consequences have already made themselves known. Either change or die.
M-my teeth were fucked up because genetics; this w-was known....days? in advance, and I m-mentioned it several times.
*sighs* Call me a liar if you will, I don't mind. But my question is this: how do you get "isolated" and "disgusting" from any of that?
As s-someone well versed in mental health, I'm p-pretty sure maid outfit is not stereotypical for any illness in the DSM or ICD.
I'm a g-girl.
Welcome t-to the joke!
You need help anonymous.
I'll take your word on it. Good night, looking forward an other of your threads
I've seen your house, you put a camera in it for me. It's not the worst I've seen if that makes you feel better, but that stove is gross and I just know that dog pisses everywhere
You live in new york, get food delivered to your house, and you use said food to do a cooking thread on the asshole of the internet. Sorry if I don't believe that you close the thread and go see a movie with a bunch of friends.
>dog pisses everywhere
S-she is one pound; she pees in the kitchen maybe once a w-week. As f-for my apartment, I've n-not cleaned up due to, you know, being in bed sleeping all d-day.
I l-live and work in Manhattan, and while I w-will be going to sleep after this thread, t-tomorrow I will certainly be up and about w-with friends.
Sorry if you want to make assumptions about someone posting on the asshole of the internet, but we're not all bad you know.
S-same reason you look like an asshole on the internet.
B-because my vagina disagrees with y-you.
I g-give advice every damn day dear.
Not a dude.
No y-you don't.
No, m-my home is /b/
I actually DO have a pic of her face. It was posted about 8 months ago in a random Alice thread.
fyi: Alice has been on /b/ since at least 2011. It's pretty scary.
I'm n-not in this for revenue; I m-make plenty of money on m-my own dear.
2004 is w-when I started posting.
2011 is w-when I became Alice.
T-then get your dirty boots out of m-my clean kitchen.
No I'm not.
Yeah, that's why I said "Alice" and not "you." I wouldn't be surprised if you're one of the originals on 4chan considering your posting style. I've been on 4chan myself since 2006.
Alice we all know you are a trap, a very cute one, but in the slim chance you are actually a gross girl, i would recomend you wear a tight outfit to clear out all the doubts as it clearly bothers you.
I h-hope so too. You have a good night f-for me, okay? *kisses your nose*
I d-don't use kik.
I'm 88 p-pounds and I b-bust my ass at the gym just t-to be able to lift books because I'm incapable of holding t-too much weight on my body.
I knew Snacks, if t-that counts.
I'll g-give it a shot.
I f-found many; they didn't have oxy. It's h-hard to find in the city.
I'm n-not here for your entertainment
I am w-what I am; adorable, -probably not.
Done s-so several times, d-doesn't help.